When Things Were Grey

 

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Excerpts From A Book I'll Never Write.

"My last words to him were, 'I love you, I'll see you on Friday.' But he never saw me on Friday. He never saw me again." 

​"... and I think it was the way that she looked at him a little too long and he looked at her just not long enough." 

"My mind was swirling in an angry wave of confusion and when I closed my eyes, I wished to see black. But of course, what's a wish without hope, and what is hope without need? I don't know what I truly anticipated, for the hardest part of remembering her was opening my eyes and learning to see again." 

​"You're apologising to me for being you, yet little do you know, I'm in love with the very same you." 

​"Don't ask me where my mind leads. I haven't decided yet."

​"Okay is the middle feeling; the feeling of sadness welling up inside of you but not quite spilling over the edges enough to see. Okay was grey. She was always just okay." 

"So, I wanted to tell you something; I wanted to tell you that I think that love is more of a place than a feeling, and I don't know why I wanted to tell you but I have a feeling that it's because I think that place is with you."

"I think the saddest thing I could ever say about you is that you make me want to stay, and I wish to god that you didn't, because then it would be so much easier to just leave you all."

​"I keep asking you to save me, but I can't force you to stay." 

​"Sometimes a sorry can fix a broken heart, and sometimes a sorry can break a heart."

​"Can I hold you captive in my kiss? I can be the deadly poison that pulls you under the waves. Let me take you..." 

​"Through the darkness you were my light, and all seven wonders of my world."

"I think it was the sadness that swept over him, dragging him under like waves; it was a sea of depression. How could anybody understand? He was so broken, but she was so happy."

​"I have a friend that tells me that I say I'm sorry way too much when I've done nothing wrong. He just hasn't figured out yet that I'm not apologising for what I've done, but who I am."

​"Maybe it's stupid that my favourite thing that you ever said to me wasn't 'I love you', but 'are you still there?', as if I'd ever go anywhere without you."

​"I miss how he used to ask me if I was still there... I'm still here, but where are you?"

​"People like us, we don't want to change the world, but we're gonna, because fuck. It's people like us that make this generation."

​"You said you didn't have enough time for both of us, so I'll pretend that I'm alright."

"I realised too late that the someone you wanted me to find was you. But I had already fallen."

"How can you be so in love with someone and yet not love them at all?"

​"It's okay to not want to move on, the universe still has its big plans yet."

"I can't help but feel that it's 3am and this isn't working, and I fell too far for you, so will you lift me back up?"

​"I was just so desperate for you to care about me the way I care about you."

​"He grew flowers in your mind, he didn't think he had to water them too."

​"When your heart sets in stone and your soul ignites, don't you dare light a fire in my eyes and leave shadows in my mind."

​"Some people fall in love for the wrong reasons, maybe I'm not the right one."

​"4 months ago you meant the world to me. Now you can't even say my name."

"Don't you dare leave storms in my heart when you can't even clear up the rivers in my eyes." 

​"Why is it we feel that we need to break things before we can love them just a little bit more?"

​"I keep hurting myself over and over, but I finally understand, you're never going to ask how I am." 

​"I'm trying so hard but what's the point if you're just going to fall for someone else?"

​"If our worlds collide on a starry night, do you promise me you'll try to be the moon if I try to fix your sun?"

"Why do I tell you to leave when I want you most? I said goodnight but I'm afraid that it's goodbye."

"I'm on the side of dark poetry to tonight."

​"... and when the whispering willows take you by the wrist, I will be there to hold your other hand."

​"The sauntering kiss of your winter frosted lips." 

​"I hope you know that if this was all a big mistake, you my dear were my favourite."

​"... because when it comes to the end, when the blood runs dry and the tears don't stain, you've built yourself a robot and that's how you'll stay."

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I Fell For You.

You puncture me with words and I fall, bleeding out and calling for you. I feel for you just like snow fell on that cold winters day, but where were you to catch me?

Again, you scream at throw the knives so eager to find their mark in exposed back. What have you done to me? I'm defenceless, broken. But yet again I fall. Fall for you. 

You're a game and this is torture. You like to play but I'm struggling to keep up. One day I'll beat you, one day I'll know the score. 

You grew flowers in my mind, and twisted vines around my heart, and oh how you forgot you needed to water them too. Now I'm dying, starving on the crumbs of your love ad it's all I've got left. I kept begging you to save me, but I couldn't force you to stay.

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Drunk.

Chaste kisses and hot whispers; you stole my heart and mumble promises of keeping it safe. You're drunk. The phone lines crackle and the video blurs, each second you're moving further and further away. My heart is a million miles away, buried with you and slowly I'm breaking. The waves of missing you are taking over.

​My breath is falling short, can this nightmare ever end? Will you come and save me before the end of the night? Here I am, waiting, but you're gone - lost. You're drunk, and I'm scared. Our worlds collided but somehow you're still floating on the moon I the atmosphere and it's impossible to reach you. I want to come home. I want to be safe with you, but suddenly I'm losing you in crowds and I'm afraid you'll never find me again. 

Where did things go so wrong? Where will I find you again? You're drunk and I'm lonely. I want to come home. I miss you and you eyes; you carry my heart, but my soul survives. I' drunk and you're afraid. What have I become? Can we start again? Promise me that if our worlds collide on a starry night when we're both drunk, we can work this out. 

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I loved Him.

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Losing You.

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Getting Over You.

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It's Been Four Months.

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I Wish He Was Here.

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What Colour Is It?

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The Great Game.

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Something For The Summer.

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A Funny Sort Of Wish.

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Tell Me Again.

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