Sticks are a great weapon. You can beat down anything with the right precision. Most surfaces have a sensitive spot. Where sound bounces off to make a most magnificent sound. I figured that out quickly. I tapped any surface every chance I got. The air became my playground.

I would only play with my sticks at night or after school though. Momma always lost it, saying musicians ain’t worth shit when the sun rises. I didn’t know what that meant... but I didn’t like to be bothered by her. So I kept the sticks Daddy gave me last Christmas under my mattress.

I couldn’t get the new jam from the radio out of my head. No Diggity by Blackstreet was contagious. I had recorded it on my cassette to listen to its grooving beat again and again. I think I had memorized the counts by now. I started humming the intro, getting amped up for the drop. I had nothing else to do while we waited to leave. I bit my lip as I fumbled my fingers into an L. My index finger felt a slight cramp. I didn’t care. I tapped the air. The beat was about to drop... one, two...

A dish towel hit my face.

“Your hands ain’t good for everything! We’re leaving. Let’s go!” 

Momma smirked, walking away from my room door.

Sticking my tongue out was too risky. So, I simply vexed her with my eyes. Momma always had a heavy hand. I knew that too well. She wasn’t a momma in my eyes. She was just a meany pants. The only time she’d sweeten up was when Daddy was around. And he was around but not enough to keep her venom from me. I never understood why she didn’t wanna be nice to me. I found ways to stay out of her way in hopes she’d stay out of mine.

I pulled up my long yellow socks that matched my breezy sunflower dress and jean jacket and hopped off my bed wondering why we had to go these stupid grown-up parties anyway.

Parties were always at Auntie’s house. It made sense. She was way more fun than my mom, on a given day. Auntie was the life of the party, so today she’d be too busy to pay me any mind. I’d be on my own.

We pulled up to the driveway and you could already hear the music. My sister was already peaking out the window. Momma was holding tightly onto the cake box in her lap.

All three car doors open except mine. I’d rather be home, I’d rather be home. Daddy knows this and pursues to pop open my door for me.

“Bring your pretty self out here.”

I begrudgingly hop out, grabbing onto his hand. He latches onto my mother’s waist and we make our way to the backyard.

The grass is really fake and prickly in Florida. Something about keeping up appearances. But at Auntie’s house, it was always thin and soft enough to run on. Other kids, Auntie’s dogs and a barbecue grill decorated the patio. Daddy and Ma would be deaf to concern of me for the rest of the night. Fine by me! I just wanted to hear the music.

I made my way inside only to be greeted by my Auntie’s big warm arms. She would snuggle me into her nook and not let go. Until I needed air, at least. She was my second beam of light next to Daddy.

The patio was dimly lit so I lingered in the back, closest to the DJ. His speakers were huge! Like Michael Jordan huge. Tall as ever. I expected reggae music all night but this guy had a few surprises up his sleeve. I heard the delicate, seductive melody of Lauryn Hill and nearly lost my mind. The guitar sting of ‘KILLING MY SOFTLY’ begun.

All the kids were squirting water guns or playing games. I was fine right next to my speaker.

Lost in my jam, my feet were having their own party. Shucking my shoulders from left to right. Across the room, my eyes caught sight of all the desserts. Unlike usual dinner, I didn’t have to wait all night to get my hands on some sweets.

In my way to my favorite, chocolate chip cookies, a BOY stood. His greedy nose covered in crumbs and hand on his next cookie while still chewing the last. Why did I have to get around him?

“Do you wanna play cards? We need one more player! 

I whip around, as some kid taps my shoulder.

My interest is slightly piqued.

“What game is it?”

“UNO.”

“Eh- that’s okay. 

“Do you wanna play?” he asks another kid beside me.

“I guess!”

I could smell a light tinge of his cologne. It was making me gag. Gabe, tall with auburn hair, always put on heavy loads of it on a night like this, where the boys had more access to the girls.

I could see him moving towards the back of the dance floor. I finally brought myself into the game, now that the right song was playing.

   These parties always be lit.

Gabe stay showing off. Fucking with these hoes. Almost reminding me he's forever gonna wander.

He still look fine as fuck doe.

Our favorite song is on and I just want to

start our love story. I'll never tell him that though. The size his ego would inflate to

might make the whole room burst.

"This is how we do it" ends and I go to grab a fruit punch.

SZA comes on and my girl, Robin latches onto my arm and drags me onto the floor.

GABE

She probably thinks I didn't notice how she just sipped on that cup.

This woman, this chocolate beuaty is everything I could ask for.

I've known her fine ass since we were seven.

We were at a party not much different than this and she watched me as i stuffed my chubby mouth with party food.

that's when it happened. We went for the same cookie as me, and it broke right in half.

i don't know if that will signify how easily she'll break my heart or whether she'll be my other half. I'm gonna find out though.

I just get so nervous at the idea of telling her this shit. That I want to make her mine.

We're old enough for it. Ain't no sense in waiting.

Her momma just be keeping her so locked up.

i can see why. she's perfect. she's the dream i keep dreaming.

i'm suprised she even here tonight.

i decide to distract myself and fix my dreamy eyes and focus. Particularly on the lil' shawty I am dancing with…

But Jasmin's skin calls to me. I mean, I love skin. But hers… the way that gold light shimmers off that chocolate skin. It drives me wild.

The track dies down and the DJ spins an unexpeted tune, a childhood favorite of Jazzy's & I. Now I really can't ignore her I catch her eyes, beaming with a smirk. This is how we fell in love with drumming. I mean, I personally fell in love when she broke my cookie. But WE fell in love when a song like this came on.

Hopefully she won't catch sight of all this nervous sweat, or will just assume it's from all the heat in this room. 

I begin moving closer to her side of the room. She looking like she don't want me to come. But I can't help myself. I can't help it….

JAZZY

Gabe is so in love with this damn song. You CAN kill a 90s song, and this DJ done committed some crimes. I chuckle but equally feel annoyed that Gabe's coming my way, just to be nostalgic. He shimmies his shoulders over, almost like he wants to lock hips. No, no, no. Really. Ohhhhh, for fuck's sake. Why do I keep resisting my intuition ? I think I can sense how much he may have the feels for me. Nah, sike. Nigga got a shawty in every corner of the room checking for him. I'm good. The less you want… the less you hurt.