I am Colonel Stanley Mitty, the Provincial Governor and the military commander of Nord Montana; the provincial capital is Nuevo Madrid which also serves as the military garrison for the area. Nuevo Madrid sits at the intersection of the roads leading to the borders of Argentina and Brazil. To the North is a rainforest accessed by rough tracks leading to rugged mountains.

To escape the dreariness of paperwork; I decided to organise an exploration into a cave with a dire reputation. The stories of this forbidden cave had intrigued me for some time. The local villagers were fearful and had advised against approaching as those who did rarely returned.

After the convoy parked the vehicles at a close point to the rumoured location and out of sight of villagers passing, the troops loaded up and cut a pathway through the forest by widening animal trails where they headed towards the objective, after a short trek through the rainforest; the party arrived at the cave location. There was a clearing, devoid of vegetation, unusual as it should be overgrown and show signs of animal traffic.

 'Make the camp here, Sergeant,' I ordered, 'Once you have it underway join me to explore the cave.' 

'Ready boss,’ Sgt Samuels said as the last of the supplies had been unloaded, with the soldiers busily making the camp liveable.

After scouting the approach to the cave, I gathered my equipment for the survey. As I was loading the gear, Samuels arrived with his backpack and was soon ready to accompany me. 

Noticing a fresh bandage on his hand. ‘What happened?’ I asked.

I was slightly concerned as he thought showing weakness was forbidden, I suspect he would laugh-off a near amputation.

‘Only a scratch, won’t slow me.’ Samuels said, waving the hand.

‘Okay, let us proceed.’ Leading the way with the lantern. As we entered the cave, it opened into a sandy-floored with plenty of headroom. At the far end, as the light hit the cave wall, a pool came into view. The ground was smooth and clean, not littered with debris and bat guano as would be found in the usual rainforest cave. My first thoughts were how pleasant the atmosphere was, being free of musty smells. I almost hoped that something nasty would leap out of the dark to justify the dire warnings. As nothing happened, it was an anti-climax until my foot hit some bones.

‘Shine your light over here, Bob,’ When the area was lit up, it was clear that these belonged to an infant reaching towards the exit. Strewn behind were clothing and boots consistent with an adult from the local village, ‘Mark this to send the remains back to the village.’ 

‘Will do boss.’

We moved onwards to the pool; the cave ended just behind this with a small trickle replenishing the water before it drained into a crevis to the right.

‘Test the water to see if it is fresh.’

‘Yes, Boss,’ Bob said as he rummaged the instruments form his pack, after pouring a sample he announced, ‘Clean and pure.’ He then drank a handful, ‘Cool and sweet.’

  ‘Idiot, it takes more than a quick check to determine safety. Well, it seems there is no mystery. Pack up, and get some samples back for real analysis.’

Heading back towards the entrance, my companion lagged, ‘Are you all right?’ I asked.

‘A little woozy, I will be fine.’

‘Serves you right; don’t make me carry you.’

As we emerged into the light, I could see that Bob was different from the husky soldier that I had entered the cave. His shirt was hanging loose, while his trousers were somewhat tight. Bob staggered over to the camp chair and collapsed tiredly. I waved the medic over to check Bob. 

‘Sorry to worry you but your shirt is a little lumpy,’ I said.

  Bob reached under his shirt, and a horrified look replaced his stoic demeanour, he reached down his pants and started swearing which unfortunately rose an octave as he discovered a horrible fact.

‘Dammit, I need to go, where is the latrine?’

‘Sorry Sarge, that was next,’ Corporal Gomez said, handing him a spade.

Bob stomped off into the scrub; oaths erupted as difficulties arose from having to squat. Returning to the camp in a foul mood, he wasn’t a happy chappy.

‘Corporal set signs warning that this cave has dangerous water which changes old men into young women. Clean up the camp and make sure no one gets curious,’ I ordered. 

  ‘Yes sir, no chance you will get me in there.’

  As we made our way back to through the scrub to the trucks, Samuels made several stops behind trees returning grumpy. ‘Damn it, I have never peed so much in my life,’ Bob said.

‘I guess you have to lose some weight as you now have less mass.’

Arriving at my staff car, I returned to the town and parked outside the hospital.

Finding Major Smith, who ran the garrison’s military hospital, I presented Bob to him, ‘Could you check Sergeant Samuels out? We had an incident.’

‘Certainly. I will take Samuels into an examination room; you can run along now.’

The doctor was one of the few people who could arbitrarily direct me; I left to address the paperwork that was likely waiting in my office. Yes, there it was, though if I had returned later, it would have piled up even higher. 

The phone rang, ‘Doctor Smith here, Samuels is fine, any relation to Nurse Samuels?’

‘Yes, her father.’ I could imagine Smith gesturing to his assistant to ring for the men in white coats. ‘This morning he was a forty-year-old man, he drank some water and changed into who you see now. I will rejoin you and brief you further.’ 

I returned to the hospital after speaking with Dr Diaz and outlining the problem. He assured me that he would analyse the water and set up experiments.

Arriving at the hospital; I joined Dr Smith in Bob’s room, I found Bob talking to his daughter, Helen; looking similar except for Bob’s short hair. I had known Helen from when she was a toddler, I had known her father, Robert Samuels, since I was a boy, and despite our rank disparity were like brothers.

‘Hi Uncle Stan, it seems I have a new twin sister, Won’t Dad have some explaining to do?’ Helen asked.

‘For now, I need to advise Roberta on developments,’ Samuels brightened up after Helen left. 

‘I will talk to Diaz, the vet, run experiments and work out a fix. Perhaps another smaller dose will restore you to normal. I will leave you in the tender mercies of Nurse Samuels; I will join Captain Diaz, who is setting up experiments with lab-rats, to ensure it is reversible.’ 

I adjourned to Dr Diaz to see what he had discovered.

As I entered, he pointed to a couple of cages in which I could see several rats.

‘Shall we start with a female? I have tested a sample; there is no chemical or biological activity that I can find.’

‘Yes best see if it works in reverse,’ I said, ‘Bob drank about a cup full and ended as a twenty-year-old, and he didn’t say there was any abnormal taste.’

‘I estimate that two ccs should halve the apparent age,’ Diaz said using an eyedropper to deliver the dose to a female rat.

After a few minutes, the rat started becoming agitated before changing slightly. Diaz scrutinised the subject, and the change was somewhat obvious under the tail. ‘I would now classify the patient as a year old male. I will treat another and leave them for an hour or so.’

The time elapsed and he administered another dose, and the result brought a smile as the rodent reverted to the original gender if somewhat smaller.

‘Looking promising,’ I said. 

Diaz put a female dog onto the examination table and gave the animal a small dose. After a time, the bitch changed to a male puppy.

‘I have a traumatised dog which was involved in a road accident; it has been under sedation while I sought advice from the owner.’ Diaz went to the back room and opened a cage. Reaching in, he administered a dose to the whimpering animal. In the elapsed time that we had observed the other animals change, the dog brightened up and settled down. 

‘I will leave him for now and see how he fares.’

Leaving the Vet with his charges, I returned to see how Bob was coping. 

‘Very interesting, Roberta,’ Helen said, ‘Where is dad, Uncle Stan?’

‘I will tell you later. I have some information for Roberta in private,’ I said.

‘Okay I will see my other patients,’ Helen said as she left.

‘There is good and bad news,’ I said.

‘Start with the bad.’ Bob had been in the services long enough to find out the worst as soon as possible.

‘Another dose takes more age from you; I should have my young sergeant back again.’

‘You're as funny as a rubber crutch.’

‘I will try to convince Dr Smith that we can experiment with you.’

I left to seek out Dr Smith and bring him up to date.

‘Dr Diaz has tested the safety of the water he found that it is chemically and biologically sterile, a small dose has returned a traumatised dog to normal and is harmless so far with other animals. The reversal of gender works both ways without any visible side effects. Chemically it can’t be distinguished from pure water.’ 

‘I will talk with him and observe his findings, It is one thing to use it on laboratory animals, but there would be hell to pay if I don’t follow guidelines with a human.’

‘I will leave that to you.’

Then my pager beeped as did Doctor Smith’s; I gave precedence to Smith.

‘From your office, there is an emergency, we have several seriously ill patients on the way, and I need all the beds. I believe it is safe enough to send Samuels home until this crisis is over.’

Bob was chivvied out of bed and dressed in his uniform, which was badly fitting to our amusement. To preserve his dignity, I refrained from joining in the stirring.

‘There is not much that you can do for now. I could use your field medics to help the nurses and orderlies.’

‘I will send them over; what is happening?’ 

I rang the office, and Corporal Rodrigues confirmed the message that Corporal Gomez had brought a dozen sick people from the village on the way back from the cave and was bringing them in the trucks. 

‘Send as many you can find of the field medics over to the hospital to help out the doctors.’ I ordered.

I turned to Smith to relay, ‘Help is on the way, any news?’

‘Gomez reports that there is an outbreak at the woodcutter’s village., Several are in a bad way, and they have had a couple of fatalities. The disease is commonly called the Flesh-eating bacteria and is passed by body fluids from a carrier usually by sneezing. The last time something like this happened, there were several fatalities and amputations before doctors contained the disease.’

‘How was Bob’s hand?’ I was a little worried about him catching the flesh-eating bacteria. ‘He cut it just before we entered the cave.’

‘When I changed the bandage, I found that the skin was unbroken with no sign of any trauma, she was surprised because it had been a nasty gash.’ 

‘That is what Diaz reported with his injured animals.’

As I left, the convoy of patients arrived and started unloading. The villagers were struggling to walk, and attendants assisted them into the emergency ward. I hurried to the staff room and organised the medics for the hospital. The village where they worked was deeper in the forest and depended on a local witch doctor for treatment of the cuts and other ailments. The outbreak was beyond the ability of the wise woman.

Corporal Gomez delivered a report into the circumstances.

‘When the party arrived back at the vehicles I found the village headman waiting. He asked my help in bringing his men into town as they were barely able to walk.’ Gomez said, ‘How is the Sarge?’

‘You did the right thing, Sergeant Samuels is fine and should be back to normal. Once we sort out the villagers.’

After my men arrived at the hospital, I contacted Smith, who updated me on the patients.

He said, ‘Major problems, preliminary swabs show that antibiotics aren’t effective with this bug, though one side effect is that it is not painful as the bacteria deaden the pain. It is necrotizing fasciitis a form of antibiotic-resistant staphylococcus.’

‘If you are desperate, why not try the water? Worst outcome nothing will happen as there are no pathogens or toxins detectable.’

‘I have talked with Diaz, and there are no side effects as yet with the test subjects. When I talked to Sgt Samuels, she said it tasted normal. I suppose if I were to wash the affected parts with a dilute solution.’

‘No names no pack drill is a good motto. I will ensure that your back is covered if there is an inquiry.’

Leaving Smith to his work, I returned to my paperwork, which seemed to multiply if I took my eyes off it.

I phoned the doctor for an update, and he made a guarded admission. ‘My sickest patient had nearly succumbed to the disease, with nothing to lose I placed some of your water into his glass. Early times but it seems apart from the more obvious change his health seems to improve, I have administered a second dose and returned him to his healthy masculinity. He wasn’t aware of any changes as he was under sedation.’

‘Sounds promising, I will see Diaz shortly; then I will come to have a chat.’ 

‘I will see you then.’

With the last of my duties fulfilled, I went to the hospital to find Dr Smith in a better mood.

‘Promising improvements, the pathogen is undetectable in the two patients who had a drink. It seems the vector is the village witchdoctor who used a poultice to treat a batch of cuts from the timber-getters. In the past, I have tested her usual poultices, and the herbs she uses normally kills the bacteria. It seems she is a carrier of the bacteria and makes the poultice by chewing the material. I will get her in for a dose and put an end to the plague.’

‘The villagers should be happy with a batch of young lumberjacks fit for work,’ I said, ‘I could give Sgt Samuels a sip and then he won’t have to take up a bed.’

‘Before you do that, I will give him another physical to make sure there are no lasting symptoms.’ Dr Smith said, ‘I have spoken to Diaz, and he assured me that the injured dog is fit as a fiddle and before the treatment he was certain that the animal would have been put down,’ Smith said, ‘Before I give out any more doses I will survey Diaz’s animals myself.’ 

With the more affected patients out of danger, and before they could find out the side effects, a second dose was administered to return the gender they had arrived at the hospital.

As part of my official duty as the Provincial Governor, I interviewed the villagers to assure myself of their recovery.

‘How are we feeling?’ I asked via an interpreter, ‘Doctor Smith assures me that you are well and will soon be returning home.’

‘Si senor, todos son buenos, mucho gracias,’ the eldest replied.

  Completing my duty by visiting and shaking hands with all the patients, I sought out Dr Smith to find out developments.

‘How is the research?’

‘I have some preliminary results. I will let you know more when Diaz joins us,’ Smith replied. 

After Dr Diaz arrived, Doctor Smith started the conference to discuss the progress of the flesh-eating bacteria and the prognosis.

‘It seems that the small dose has done its work, and all of the patients are recovering quickly. I have gained a reputation as a miracle worker.’ Smith said, ‘I can’t take the credit as yet. Now that we have time, I am going to run a scientific research program.’

‘I have an advantage here, while I wouldn’t do anything to harm my animal patients, I can do a lot without a mountain of paperwork. The health of the traumatised dog is wonderful; I will return a healthy young pet to his owner. I was on the verge of deciding to euthanise the animal. I have applied a diluted amount externally to an ulcer, and the wound healed quickly with no effect to the gender.’ Diaz said.

‘As an experiment, I checked different strength solutions, under 1 per cent the solution ceases to affect the organisms. When I added a stronger dose added to a bacteria specimen, the activity slowed rapidly. I added some to ordinary creek water, and life disappeared within minutes. I would guess that is a potent per cent was accidentally released it would eliminate life. But eventually, it would disperse to a safe level.’ Smith said.

‘Perhaps we can provide the solution as an external salve and restrict the full dose to emergency packs with the Medics. Perhaps label them with a “yucky face” and call it, “La Nina Unction”.’       

The last act in this adventure is to deliver the dose to Sergeant Samuels to restore him to active duty. Perhaps some time off to rebuild his physique and perhaps a little grey dye at the temples. I should have my old friend back to compete with me.