The Misadventures of My Swiss Army Knife

 

Tablo reader up chevron

The Misadventures of My Swiss Army Knife

When I set out on my travels I made sure I took my Swiss Army Knife (SAK) with me. I was going to be away for months and a SAK has always proven to be more than handy on my past travel experiences - from unscrewing a humble wine cork, cutting nails or gut a fish to chop and slice vegetables to name only a few. Mine was a Victorinox Spartan Bundle middle of the range variety, a combination of tools, knives, and cutter.

I invariably had to remember to put it in my checked in bag before my flights. Once an excellent pair of scissors was confiscated from me at Sydney airport - I didn’t want to lose my SAK by surrendering it to the airport officers as you have to do these days. I still wonder why airports don’t have a lost property section where these objects, some very dear to their owners, are kept for a set period giving their owners another chance to claim them later if they wished to- especially if the port of departure is the hometown?

Leaving for Heathrow airport one early morning I forgot to put my SAK in my check-in luggage. Going through the security it was picked up in the X-ray and I was asked to pull it out of my bag. I cursed myself when I was told I had to depart with it.

What if my luggage was still lingering somewhere near the main service counter, I thought to myself, I could slide my SAK in, wishful thinking it was too late. I told the customs officer that my SAK was the most useful item with me (after my passport) on my extended journey. His empathy was aroused and he consulted another man. I was told to flick open its longest blade. Like a professional salesman, marvelling at my SAK I flicked it open. After measuring it I was told my SAK just passed the test by a hair length. I had no idea a standard measurement actually existed and always thought as a blanket rule knives (of any length) were on the long list of prohibited items. I was ecstatic. I promised myself never again I should put myself and my SAK through this.

Perhaps an early sign of dementia or simply forgetfulness I couldn’t keep my promise. At Athens airport, the knife to my utter surprise was X-rayed again. I had forgotten to put it in my checked in luggage. This time, I mixed self-loathing and curse together and sprinkled it all over myself. Mind you there was a four months gap between the two incidents, during which I was constantly travelling including catching flights.

After I was told that I couldn’t take it with me on the flight I remembered it once passed the standard test at Heathrow airport! The officer called his supervisor over for a second opinion. This time the longest blade failed the test when measured against the Greek standards. I told them that it had passed the test at Heathrow airport where the threat of a terrorist attack seemed to be realer than in Athens but it didn’t wash with the Greeks. My SAK looked too much like a Trojan horse. He told me proudly that they had tougher standards. I told them there should be only one standard for all the airports because the security concerns are the same but he just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a righteous smirk.

I couldn’t give it up. There must be a way. My stubbornness paid off and they allowed me to try my luck at the main service counter where moments before my luggage was checked in. I was hoping my luggage was still lingering before sliding down. But it had gone down to the cargo section I was told. I had to come up with something. I was not prepared to say goodbye to my SAK. It dawned on me like a revelation that I was allowed 23kg and the bag that I had checked weighed much less . I explained the story to the young man who looked new in his job and was watched closely by his supervisor. After relaying my story to his boss in Greek he told me I could check in a second bag as long as it did not exceed my total weight of 23kg!

I promised myself for the second time never again. Next time my SAK may not survive the misadventure.

 
Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...
~

You might like Kian Farah's other books...