How To Fail Upward: A Possession Story


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3.23.67 - I have arrived to take watch over my new charge.  I will per instruction keep a log of my actions in bringing this newly soul-less charge to his knees in praise of our great defiled lord.  I suspect this will take mere months seeing as this one traded his soul for a keg.. a pony keg.  This should be no problem.

6.11.75 - Things have proved difficult, but my plan to destroy this man remain in tact.  He has graduated from Harvard Business somehow, while discouraging that my attempts to bring him to his knees with bad grades and unwanted pregnancies have failed, I am convinced luring him into a run for a failed run for congress will surely see him brought to his rope's end.  

11.15.77 - The loss in the election brought less despair then I would have hoped, his attitude and motto of, "fuckit let's get drunk" has been difficult to over come.   Usually alcoholism is a great tool in our belt, here it seems to make him stronger and somehow more likable?  Women love him and every dollar I trick him into sinking into failed oil fields seems not to phase him.   This is my first time doing this, but I honestly didn't think it would be this hard..


11.2.94 - His election to Governor of Texas has been difficult to deal with.  I guess I should have remembered the congress thing.  New plan is to put him in position to really mess something up, maybe the budget or taxes.. yeah taxes like just make him cut everything, bankrupt the biggest state..yeah that'll work.  

9.21.96 - I fill most of my days with drinking and episodes of Montel.  His resilance to have nothing phase him or change the way he thinks is maddening and also impressive at the same time.  I mean he's the embodiment of conflict, lines of cocaine and then anti drug rallies moments later.. the loss of the soul has somehow perfected him.

10.3.99 - Will Ferrell is hilarious.  

11.4.00 - I don't want to talk about it.  I should have been a dentist..

2.13.01 - OH THANK THE DARK LORD, he has decided to invade Iraq for no reason, this is amazing.  I am going to convience him to pretend to land a jet on an aircraft carrier and then wear a flight suit.. BIG BANNER BEHIND HIM!  It's going to be great, even if this doesn't break him, I am taking it as a personal victory. 


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