Falling in love like that was not my plan. Falling in love was not my plan. There was no plan, but I never expected this.
There was not such a long distance between us, but it still was a fine flight. They announced the landing. A weird feeling settled in. Nervousness. Or, perhaps, it was excitement. There was no denying that those creatures that dared to call themselves butterflies suddenly turned into dragons.
The plane finally touched the ground, and a warm smile appeared on my face. The time seemed to slow down, but at the same time every next step and every next breath completely erased the previous one.
My eyes met a bunch of legs, whose owners probably were waiting for their loved ones. Slowly, my gaze lifted and wandered among all the unknown faces, looking for the only familiar one.
Our stares connected, and, I swear, that was where Earth stopped spinning, everything stopped, it was just the two of us. We started out in a painfully slow walk. As we were two steps away from each other, we stopped for a short second and then collided.
No word broke the silence, everything was said through the hug. We let go what felt like ages later. It still did not feel enough. He grabbed my hands and held them while looking straight into my eyes.
"You are here," he voiced as if not believing I was real.
I confirmed his shaky statement: "I am."
There was no possible way to capture that moment. No poet could write a poem good enough. No painter could use colours good enough. No writer could stitch words together good enough. No photographer could find lighting good enough. All of that was not good enough to express the bliss, the love of the moment.
The ride to his flat was a comfortable, happiness filled trip. The city around us was just starting to sink into twilight, and the streetlights were slowly making debut.
Too soon it darkened. I turned my head to the right side and looked at the calm water below us. The skyscraper on the other end of the bridge beautifully towered in the slow waves with glowing indoor lights.
I turned to my left and smiled at the alluring twinkle in his eyes. Shortly his lips curved too and he faced me for a brief second. He returned his look back to the road.
"What?" he asked and gave me some of his attention again.
I shook my head and turned back to the road ahead: "Nothing." The smile was permanent.
We stopped at a small filling station and entered a shop. "Can you get me coffee? And what do you drink? Tea?" he sounded genuinely confused.
I chuckled wholeheartedly: "I drink hot chocolate. Coffee with two packets of sugar?"
He kissed my forehead: "Yeah."
The corners of my mouth curled and I took off to the coffee machine. I put a cup in and pressed black coffee button.
Fixing my gaze back at him, I found his smile contagious. The guy, who was looking back at me, had girls all around him, the girls he could hug at any given day. But he chose me, even though I was far, far away.
He had paid for our drinks just as I was taking my drink from the machine.
"Black coffee. Two sugars," I smiled and handed him the cup.
He took it from me and bowed: "Thank you, my lady." We slowly returned to the car.
I blew the steam of the hot beverage away from myself, and turned to face him: "Gabe?"
"Yeah?" he showed me his dimples.
I looked him in the eyes: "I love you."
He crooked to right side a little and beckoned me over with his index finger. Our noses were few inches apart, and the same finger of his was used to lift my chin. He looked at my lips and then back to the eyes. Afterwards he whispered an almost-there I love you. Our lips finally touched.
Forget the butterflies, forget the dragons. That was something even bigger, abeting a storm inside of me.
Suddenly every piece of every unmade puzzle fell into the right place. Everything felt absolutely right. There was no force, no pressure. Just love. Pure love. If this was my destiny, I accept it unconditionally.
The night was not too warm, but his body kept me pleasant. Our heartbeats completed each other.
My head voluntarily rested on his chest as his arm wrapped around my frame. My fingertips started drawing invisible lines on his chest. His fingertips explored the way from my fingers to elbow to shoulder so carefully, as if he pressed a little harder I would disappear.
"I still cannot believe you are really here," he pecked my hair.
I lifted my head up and turned to face him. Smiling, I softly said: "I love you."
He brushed through my hair few times and almost demanded featherly: "Tell me you will not leave me."
I warmly caressed his cheek: "I am not leaving you. Not today.. Not ever.." I inched myself closer to him and touched his lips with my own.
I returned back to my previous position and pulled the duvet up to my chin and buried my face into his side. He lightly chuckled at the sudden cold touch of my nose to his exposed skin. His hand brushed through my hair one last time and then lied still on my hip. Soon his breaths became even, whereas my mind still wandered as if it already had rested.
I saw where his need of support came from. People are temporary - they come and go. Sometimes we do not notice it, sometimes it hurts us deeply. He is afraid I'm gonna be one of those people. Simultaneously I was overcoming my own fear of him waking up one day and deciding that this is not what he wants.
Trusting someone is really hard. It does not matter if you have a backstory to that or not. Sometimes it is our subconscious trying to save us from possible catastrophe. Soemtimes we notice it as life's way of telling us that this person standing in front of us is poisonous. But mostly it is our own fear eating us alive and ruining a chance of good future.