This is the story of one year in my life, 1994.  In 1994 I had a new career, went to Bali, broke up with my current boyfriend, was stalked and harassed, met a new guy, went back to Bali, was laid off  and decided to finally leave Maine.  I have not changed any of the names that I remember.  And the chronology is as I recall it.  While it may not flow like a conventional novel this is how it happened as far as I can recall.  I have improvised some conversations but tried to stay true to my feelings and recollection of events during a very crazy but life changing year.  My plan is to make it more like a novel in subsequent editions but for now this is what happened.

Here I am

It was twenty years ago. I was working at Siempre Mas (Always More) for Peter Spano in Portland Maine.  The store was in the shopping district known as the Old Port.  At that time Siempre Mas was the retail portion of his Global Village (Incorporated) business.  He named the store based on a dream.  This was how he made most of his decisions—would ask himself a question before going into a deep sleep and see what how his dreams answered him.  He told me that when he awoke with the name Siempre Mas as the answer he tried again the next night and received the same answer.  So we were Always More. 

Peter was trying to build the wholesale portion of the business, or keep it going even though it was the brainchild of a now ex-girlfriend; short blonde curly haired Debra with a completely flat chest who was also a dancer.  The retail store was booming.  It was the holiday season.  The shop was hopping, that’s how it felt—literally. The window lights were glowing, the music was peppy and loud.  It was evening and already dark.  Although this was Maine so it could have been 4 o’clock in the late afternoon and it would have still been dark. 

I had worked for Peer for the past two years, working my way up begrudgingly to manager of his retail store.  But here’s the thing I had recently discovered.  I hated working retail, hated it.  I’m not sure how it happened but Peter had recently decided to train me in the wholesale section.  He and Debra were done but apparently at one point when he deiced to make Gina the manager of the shop while he travelled, Debra had said to him “I love Gina but what about Kristina?  Peter, she is a rock.”  Which I guess is a compliment, and how it ended up that I was now the manager of Global Village, Inc. which now included the retail shop Siempre Mas and the wholesale division Global Village.  As part of my new job I would be going to the Boutique Show in New York City and then Bali Indonesia and possibly even Thailand with Peter in the New Year. 

But now it was still 1993 and not yet Christmas.  The shop was loud and bright and a bit chilly, making it easier to wear and model the thick, colorful Ecuadorian wool sweaters that were our signature this time of the year.  U2’s new album Actung Baby as playing in the stereo, of course.  That was the soundtrack for that season.  Peter was convinced and with documentation to back him up that certain music made people want to buy and certain music turned people away from their wallets.  And apparently U2 made people want to shop.  So it was on repeat that entire holiday season as the sun set around four in the afternoon and the shop cooled even more.  I plugged in the window lights and Karmo and I continued to fold and refold Ecuadorian wool sweaters.  They were in piles of eight to ten sweaters, five rows across the floor with isles in between.  We encouraged people to grab and pull any color or design that caught their eye.  Karmo was the best at it. 

Karmo was an actress.  Karmo had been Martha for the first 40 years of her life then decided, at forty, that since she had always hated her name (and really she was no Martha) that she would no longer use it.  Apparently that was also the year her and her husband decided to stay married but to no longer question how the other spent their time.  So her husband was often seen with women about the age of his grown daughters and Kamo would occasionally spend the night with the 3rd member of their acting troupe if he were not with his current boyfriend.  I loved Karmo, part of me wanted to grow up to be Karmo in twenty years but I had no idea what I wanted my new name to be.

Karmo was putting on another sweater for another husband looking for something for his wife.  She was spinning and refolding almost at the same time.  Commenting on how soft her hands were becoming due to the lanolin in the wool.  I was squished behind the counter ringing up a bag of Guatemalan worry dolls, one of the many things that crowded the counter along with small zippered woven bags from Guatemala, rows of small, medium and large beaded or silver earrings from Bali, or Thailand, and hair scruncnies in Guatemalan weave or rayon batik.

Then Gina came in and much like when Peter entered his own shop the energy raised a notch.  Both were containers of energy.  Michelle, one of the other women who worked in the shop, and I joked we could always tell when Peter was about to come in.  Whereas Gina seemed to contain her energy, Peter projected it.  The energy level in the shop would shift and more people would come in with more demands or requests so in the midst of helping customers Peter would appear and plant himself behind the register to take it all in. 

That night Gina bustled in removing her scarf saying how busy the streets of the Old Port were and switched the window lights to flash, and turned up the music.  I tensed slightly at the energy shift but smiled at the customer as Gina talked about her latest readings and theories about the universe and her life and her boyfriend and his motorcycle and the freedom it brings and and and.  Maybe that is what Debra had seen--Gina was “out there” and I was “right there” not moving, not really going anywhere.  But that all changed in the New Year.