I remember everything from that night, right down to the colour the senior officers blouse was. It was a calm green colour, which was ironic as nothing about this night was calm. Not after what I had just done.

I don't know how I was there because it just wasn't possible. I had just killed myself. So how was I walking around among all of the police without anyone seeing me? I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense.

Paramedics rushed past me, pushing a gurney and carrying bags. Bags of life saving equipment I presume, although I can't be sure, I was supposed to be dead of course. How was nobody noticing me? I was walking alongside them, asking them questions about myself, but they were just ignoring me, trying to save my life...