Some people like todo things that give them pleasure. As in doing something with friends or going for a run when their is to much on their mind. I'm not like that. I don't like to hang out with friends. Well ha, I don't have any. They always end up never...seen again. Let me get straight to the point. I like to hurt people. It gives me pleasure. When I feel like I am upset or need to get something out of my mind.. I kill. I don't kill them physically. I kill them mentally. When I say the word "them" I am referring to everyone that has hurt me and has killed me mentally. I can see why they do this. I can see that it can cause MUCH pleasure. I mean, come on look at me now. I love hurting people that loved me, but I never loved them. I would wait for the right moment, I would wait for them to look at me like there is no one else in this world. Every single woman I've been with has loved me. Haha, I make them fall for me and I "fall" for them. Sometimes I go to dinner with some of them and end up never calling them back. After.. about 2 years of seeing them. That doesn't give me as much pleasure because I can't see their facial reactions and how much it actually hurt. When I know I've ruined someone's life, I can see it in their eyes. They end up never looking at you the same way like they did. Their smile disappears and you can see their heart slowly breaking into smaller and smaller pieces every time I say "Goodbye". Haha I love it.
There was this girl that I dated for a very long time. I was trying to recover from everything in the past. Everything that fell apart. So I planned another broken heart. I had to be very patient with this one. Her name was Myla Cortez. She was a stunning young woman. About the age of 20. Beautiful smile and a perfect body. I wanted to be with her for about 5 years. I wanted to make the most out of it. I wanted her to expect like we were going to be with each other forever. You are probably wondering "Why not just be with her, it will make you happier." No it wouldn't. I've tried to be with someone but I have never felt any type of feelings or love. I'm basically dead. I believe that if you can't feel love your dead even if your body still walks. I feel no love. Absolutely nothing. I have no parents or anyone. So I try to hurt the ones that deserve it the most. That don't deserve all the attention. That don't deserve to be the ones that everyone falls for. This is where I find ALL of my pleasure. Welcome to my life and everything that I do to kill every single soul that has led me to heart break.. after heart break.