Unfinished editorial by Claire Evans

Due to be published in The London Express on April 22, 2050

    Queen Elizabeth II quietly celebrated her 124th birthday at the Balmoral Castle. It was a small, dignified celebration, with only close family. Now the oldest person in the world, The Queen has joked that her longevity is due to "long walks and a warm cup of Earl Grey every afternoon."  

    Not all are pleased about The Queen’s enduring reign. Prince William has surpassed his father as the heir apparent after Charles’ passing in 2023. Although William has never made remarks of jealousy, a source within the royal household has stated that “[he] looked extremely gleeful” after The Queen’s diagnosis of pneumonia. 

    While royal resentment is enough to sell tabloids, the remarks made by Prince Harry are far more interesting. Last year, he was arrested for public indecency and inebriation. Disregarded by many as drunken ramblings, Prince Harry shouted phrases about the royal family slaughtering dogs. He later publicly apologized to the RSPCA.

    After months of research and adverts for anyone with information, an anonymous source came forward with a secret told within the royal family. This woman had worked as a governess in Kensington Place.

    I will briefly recount my short interview with her, using the random initials AA.

LE: Thank you for meeting with me today. I asked you here to elaborate on the “secret” the royal family is hiding.

AA: It’s not so much a secret, dearie. It’s just a story that’s kept within the royal family. Only the children are told and firmly instructed not to repeat it.

LE: How do you know the story?

AA: I was eavesdropping once I was ushered out of the room. I was worried the Duchess was asking [the poor boy] about my performance. He was having trouble with his arithmetic.

LE: What did you hear?

AA: [The mother] was only telling [the boy] a bedtime tale, to calm his nerves. It began with Queen Elizabeth, when she was a young girl. She had recently ascended to the throne and was visiting a residence in Wales. She was off on her own, wandering on one of her walks.

LE: Without guards?

AA: Yes, all by herself. She had wanted peace, time to think.

[Slight pause]

On this walk, she encountered a large black wolf. The wolf simply stared, until its eyes flashed red. It galloped towards her, snarling. The Queen began to run, but soon turned to fight, fearless. Once the creature was close enough, she smashed its skull with the heaviest rock she could lift. The wolf collapsed and disappeared before her eyes. 

LE: Do you think this is the incident Prince Harry was referring to?

AA: I think he was relaying a childhood story.

    There have been no confirmed sightings of black wolves in the area for the past century, as wolves are commonly believed to be extinct in Great Britain.

    Legends of black dogs still remain prevalent.