i lay there, burning, as You leave the torn sheets.
no words, not a thank you, for the pleasure You took.
I gave you the trust of an innocent girl
not quite ready to be turned a woman at all,
to be filled with Your flames from a sword in the night
that you forced through my doors opened wide, muscles tight.
You defiled my sleep, replaced it with blindness
that others call passion, and you called our love.
how soft we embraced, how sweet your touch felt
til Your hands clawed and tore. there I lay like a whore.
Your weight in the darkness erased all I knew.
It plunged down from shadows and pushed til clean through.
get out, mind says, why stay in this place,
on your torture-bed still? have you no disgrace?
but i lay in Your shadow, see Your skin in the night,
bare as my own, traced with marks of my fright.
i turn, face the wall, feel a new heat escape
down my cheeks, 'cross my throat,
hear the door close too late.
I loved your sweet words at the start of our love.
you were kind, touching soft, a mere mouse or a dove,
beneath roared the lion, hunting prey, baring fangs.
with no warning You came and forced open my gates,
and all that You craved I slaved til i gave.
I fell back, You came in.
in your caress, i gave in.
You breathed in my breath and You
kissed me like death.
within me, You burned
til, enough, You slipped out.
now alone, i am lost in a room I once knew,
the room where I played, the room where I grew.
the pink of the paint is the red of my veins,
the reason for capture in my prison cell gained.
how could I-- how could i
pull free from this dark,
when soon i so fear You'll return and take more?
You'll press down with hot skin. You'll crawl deep within.
will i fight or be weak, just give up, let You in?
You'll push and You'll dance til Your song You have sung,
and splintered and drowned, will i
weep, You have won?