this short collection is about a breakup, if you couldn't tell, and i guess it was a way of me writing my way through my guilt and trying to heal. it's hard to break up with someone, even if you're the one who ultimately decides to end it. 

i've written these in the past seven months, from the middle of the relationship, the end and the aftermath.

relationships are never uncomplicated, but the art that comes out of the pain is often worth it. 

so, for a; thank you. 

i am a soft and messy thing
and our 

                     love 

                     is made of

 rounded edges and gentle curves 
but that 

              softness 
beneath it 

lies the jagged, sharp pieces
of 

       glass 

i will cut you on my 

                       broken pieces 
bleed out 

                 while the guilt shatters me 

       more 
i have an inability to give you 
what you 

                         n e e d 
and i wish i could be 
                                             e n o u g h 
but i am
                                  a ruin 
                                  a wreck 
and i can’t help but 

d e s t r o y
                                 everything i love 
                                 everything i touch 
i don’t know how to be soft enough with you 
without 
letting you go

— soft/jagged, from a list of things i could never explain to you.

you're like this; hair straight, unlike you or anything you do, hands around my waist like i'm your entire world. you keep me safe, you know, safe from myself. 

the fact that i could probably have the entire world in my hands and it still wouldn't be enough for me isn't lost on me. or you. 

i want you to be my entire world, truly, i do. but i don't know how to be enough for you. 

you're like this, laughing and holding my hand like i'm never going to break you. i think i'm definitely going to break you. and that's fucking terrifying. 

i'm like this, spine cracking under all the pressure of all of my emotions about this.