I grew up with him. I loved him. And I thought we were going to be together forever. I was wrong though. This isn't going to be your cheesy romantic story where two kids who grew up and end up falling in love and then they get married and all that. Some of that is right, but most of it isn't. Two kids did grow up together and they did fall in love, but that was then. This is now. They were happy, they were living in a story, But that was back then. Now, they are separated. They haven't seen each other in two years. So, what happens when they see each other again?
I sigh as I try to pay attention to what Mr. Barns was saying about equations, but no one in the class was in the mood to learn how to solve an equation that involves dividing, adding, subtracting, and finding the square root of a number only to have to repeat it again. Even though I care about what my grade is and even though I want to get into a good college, it doesn't mean I like to learn things I know I won't need to use. We all know that half of the school is going to be working at some fast food place or possibly still be living with their parents until they are thirty. And they would possibly might live in the streets. Unlike me, I do not want to become that half. I want to be in the other half that actually learns something and that actually had their own home they live in with a good job that pays well.
But right now, I really wanted to just bang my head against the wooden desk I was sitting at. "And that is how you find the answer to the problem, any questions?" Thankfully, no one raised their hand or shouted out a question. I do not get why people would only make more time for us to stay in a classroom when they know we all want to be leave as soon as possible. "Okay then, today's homework is to do pages 120 and 121. I want the answers in complete sentences. Also, show your work or else you will not get the credit." Mr. Barnes says. I quickly note it down on my planner and then shut it quickly, putting it in my bag. The bell rang, making everyone scurry out of out of the room. I grab my things and then head out.
"Ms. Wright." I close my eyes. Great. I turn around and look at Mr. Barnes. "Yes, Sir?" I ask. He looks at me and then clears his throat. "I have noticed that your grades have been tipping down a bit. I would just like to tell you that you should keep your grades up. I know that you might get a scholar ship if you keep those grades up and study hard." He says. I nod my head. I then hurry out of the room and towards the library where I know no one will bother me. No one likes to read, but me, reading is my whole life. Ever since Jay left, I counted on books to entertain me. I am not one to socialize anyway. I do like to do talk, I just don't know how to talk to other people. I grew up with one person, so I didn't really learn how to go out and talk to other people. I am shy and I am the person who you would see with a book in their hand and hear buds plugged in. I am that person who sits alone during lunch and studies hard. And, I am that person who people don't notice because they are so busy with their own lives.
I don't really like to talk to people in school anyway though. Everyone talks about celebrities and the hot new trend going around. They talk all talk about others and gossip even though the people they gossip about is their friend or even a family member. But people now in days, are always on their phones, snap chatting or Facebooking someone. They also listen to music that talks about sex and drugs and butts. I honestly don't see what fun is in that. I don't see what you are going to learn out of that or what it's going to get you.
But, I am not one of them. I am that one person who actually see the world as it is. There are millions and millions of people, most of them poor and out living in a world where you have to work for money and where they have to pay a lot of bills. I know that math does come in handy with some of the work even though most of the people in school are just so blind to see that. The world though, is shaped like a globe. People are made to either be dumb or smart, but sadly, most of the world are made to have dumb people.
Unlike me, I read and go on with life. I just want go on with life and die with no regrets. I don't want to be like one of those people who end up eating trash and live in hard board box or in the streets. I just want to go on with life with no problems. I may not have any friends, but I did have a friend. Sadly though, he decided to leave and take the easy way out of life. I shake my head, trying not to think of him again.
The past is the past and I just don't feel like going through that path again. I enter the library and sit down on my usual seat. I always sit in the corner of the library in the back where no one will bother me or even see me. The librarian is fine with me staying in the library as long as I follow the rules. I grab my math text book and start to do the math homework. Unlike other people, I do my work early so I won't have to deal with many problems others have to deal with.
I sigh as I start doing my math homework. I hate math. Most people hate math. We use it, but I hate it. Math is not my favorite subject. I like reading and writing. I don't like to learn a whole lot of equations and math things and try to memorize it all in a matter of days and to only have to take a test. I guess that is just how things go though. Mr. Barnes know we hate math, that is why he gives us tips on how to do it and a few answers to the homework, but that is only if we are lucky. He is a nice teacher, but he does work and he can't always do that. I study hard and I try to do my best on all of my work, but lately, I just haven't been in the mood to do it. My birthday is coming up and I am going to turn seventeen. I honestly don't celebrate my birthday. The last time I did, I was only eleven. It was the year that things started to change.
But, I don't really want to go into that now. Now, I have my own life to deal with right now and I need to finish this math homework that I do wish I didn't have.
I look out the window of the car as my mom drives us back home. I would walk, but it's raining. My mom doesn't want me to sick, so she is driving me home. I am fine with that, but it's just that, I want to walk in the rain. I like the rain. Every person who likes to stick on their own like me, like the rain. If I could live in a place that rained all the time, I would. I am not like one of those girls who whine about how their make up is going to be ruined or how their hair will get wet. They act like their hair doesn't get wet when they takes baths or showers. And the whole make up thing. Well, I don't wear any. Why would I if I am invisible? I love the rain and I would rather be in the rain than in the sun so much.
"How was school?" My mom asks, breaking the silence. My mom is one of those mom you would meet that would be nice all the time and would do anything to look good. She would cook dinner and try to act as if we are one big happy family. She works and tries to get the family involved. She is those everyday moms that want you to do something with your life and would want you to just go out. I did not turn out what she wanted me to be. I know she wants a daughter that would want to dress up in skirts and dresses and wear make up and talk about boys all day. I don't do that though. I wear sweaters and I don't wear dresses or skirts unless it's for a party. I don't go out unless it's go shopping for books. I don't like any guys. The last time I did like a guy, it was when I was like twelve or thirteen. Yeah, I did like all of those girly things when I was young, but didn't all girls who were young like those things?
My mom wants me to get involved, but I honestly don't want to. "Same as always." I say without looking at her. "Did you talk to anyone?" She asks. "No." I say to her. She sighs. There has been countless times where she has tried to get me to talk, but I never do. I just don't get why I have to. Soon enough, I am going to be leaving for college and then get my own place. I won't have time to talk to her. "Well, maybe if you find we friend, we all could do something. You can have sleep overs and go shopping." She says with hope. I roll my eyes. Yeah, like that would ever happen. I shake my head. "I have to finish school first." I say. "Well, you should at least make one friend during school. Then, you would have someone to talk to and hang out with." She says. I sigh. Ever since Jay left, things haven't been the same.
He was the only friend I had, but not anymore. "I don't want one." I say, getting out of the car once she parks in the driveway at the house. I then enter the house and head towards my room, not bothering to look to see if my dad was here. He works at some law firm in the city and he works for long periods of time. I know he is not happy though. He drinks when he comes home and he argues with my mom sometimes about somethings. I don't bother to listen though seeing how it's none of my business. I put my things down next to my desk and then sit down on my twin sized bed. My room isn't what you would imagine. I plain. I have peach colored walls, quotes of my favorite authors taped to the walls, a few drawings, a desk with all those materials people would have, a book shelf with books in it and lights hanging onto my book shelf. There is a dresser that hold all of my clothing and on top of my dresser a few things that I put on there. Then there is my small closet and bathroom with all the things a girl would need and any other person would need. My bed is white with a few colors. I have a night stand next to my bed that hold my alarm clock, a picture, my phone, and of course my charger.
I flop down on my bed and lay there, my legs hanging down on the side of my bed. My ceiling as this one quote that reminds me of the past. "Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But, they're also what tears you apart." -Haruki Murakami. That quote is very true. I have tons of happy memories, but now? I just feel like crying thinking about the past. I have fallen in love and I have had this one friend I could count on, but that was the past after all. This is now. And now, this is not what they were back then. The past is hard subject for me. I used to be that happy girl who did like to talk. I was still shy, but at least I talked to people. But, now, things are the same. I sigh as I slowly get up from my bed. I turn my head and look out the window in my room. The sun was now shining and it was no longer raining.
"Lena, dinner is ready!" I hear my mom say. I breath out and then get up, heading down stairs. I then head towards the dining room where I see my mom putting down a plate of food for me and another plate for her. I sit down and start to eat once my mom sits down. We did not speak. I did not look at her and she did not glance at me. My mom and I do not have a lot in common. She likes girly things, I don't. She looks at the world as if it's once happy place even though it isn't. She is blinded by beauty and such. I am not. She is that person who would like go on an adventure where as I would like to just sit down and read. She likes the sun, I like the rain. We don't even look alike. I have my dad's look. The only thing I did get genetically from her is her nose and and the few freckles on my face. I do have a bit of her eyes color in my dull hazel eyes. She has blue eyes, so my eyes do a bit of specks of blue in them. But, the rest is all from my dad.
I continue to eat the food that my mom cooked. Thankfully, she learned how to cook and isn't one of those woman who think that it's the man's job that has to cook. My mom then looked up once we heard the door open and close. My dad is home early. My dad walks in with his business suit on. He looks at me and smiles, but I just continue to eat. "Dinner is ready?" He asks. My mom nods. She then gets up and heads towards the kitchen to get a plate ready for my dad. My dad sits down across from me next to my mom seat and looks at me as I eat. "How was school?" He asks. I do hate when parents ask the same question everyday. "Same." I say. He nods. "Same here. Did you learn anything new?" I shake my head. He nods.
You see, my dad and I know how the world is. I think a bit like him. I do not want become lawyer though, but he knows that. My dad grew up as that guy who would study hard, yet be cool the same time. He had tons of friends and he still does. He is just study taking care of the house, me, and he has work. He knows that I am having a hard time still to get over the fact that my best friend left me. What I don't get though is to what he saw in my mom. They are totally different and she isn't really his type. He likes things she wouldn't even think about liking. Most of what he likes, she hates. I did ask him what he saw in my mom once, but he just said that things weren't the same as they were in the past. I can see that, but I just don't get what made my own dad like my mom.
My mom then came in with a plate of food and placed it in front of my dad. He thanked her and then dug right in. "How was work, Honey?" My mom asks my dad. He shrugs. "It was the same as always. Work is work." He says. My mom nods. Another thing I have in common with my dad. "You are also home early." She says. He nods his head. "Why?" She asks. My mom is also the person who would ask a lot of questions to get an answer. "Not much to do at work today. But tomorrow, things are going to be the same." He says. My mom nods and then continues to eat her food. I sigh once I finish the food on my plate. I get up and gran my plate, going to the kitchen and placing my plate in the sink. I then head towards my room up stairs. I stopped though once I heard my parents start to talk
"When are going to tell her?" My mom asks. I hear my dad place down a fork or spoon or a knife. "I don't know. She won't be happy once tell her. I don't even think we should tell her." I hear my dad say. I can imagine my mom shaking her head. "She needs to know, Rick. He is coming back and once he does, who knows how she will react. She isn't ready to see him again." See who again? What are they talking about? "Sarah, she isn't going to react happy about this. She is still trying to get over the fact that he left. She can't know." Are they talking about Jay? "Fine, but do not complain to me once she gets angry." I then hear nothing. I shake my head towards my room. Well, my parents are now hiding something. I don't even know if I should be bothered by it. I just hope it doesn't involve Jay.