Yeah ok, I'll admit it. I'm that girl. I'm the one who tries too hard. The one who's really socially awkward and tries to be friends with everyone, while never really liking (or being liked by) anyone. You see we are all raised with this idealist notion that in order to be happy we have to be well liked. But I am not a very well liked person. I never have been. I always wanted to be. This however creates a break in psyche, this constant longing for well... just about any attention, and this complete lack of it. This break in psyche is what well... broke me. And I'm not going to gloss over any of that. Because you see I might be broken but I'm here to tell a story, and this is not a nice story, because I am not a nice person, and if i just gloss over it then who am i really helping? Certainly not myself. So this story is my own self help novel, my own personal journey into something that will hopefully lead me upwards and onwards. This story is my month of healing. I'm not writing it to heal you, although I hope it does, I'm writing it for me. I want to believe that no one is alone in their struggle and I hope this book will help me accomplish that. 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, it is followed of course by its good friends Clinical Depression, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Altogether they have made my life a living hell. It's as if I'm being followed by a mob of hitmen, who's only goal is to make me hate myself (and everyone around me) as much as possible, in the hopes that I kill myself, so they don't have to do any dirty work. 

But the good news is, I'm defeating those badguys. one by one. I know they cant hurt me if i dont let them and my goal is to not let them. so this is my journal to happiness.