brb be right back


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Late at night I watch the words

Late at night I watch the words  words of strangers dance
up the screen  too fast to read  I think of smart comments
to add   too late  harder than thinking  think then type 
check for typing errors  then press send  by then the topic
has passed or the person has gone my  name is on the
list of chatters  I sit here in front of my screen trying to get
a word in  unaccustomed to being tongue-tied  butter
fingered  caught on the back foot  invisible  on the list but
not in the room  not in the room yet  my friend’s 14 year-
old daughter can do this  she types how r u cool and c u
l8er and that is enough  somehow I cannot say these
things and what I do want to say is too late too long or
misspelled  I type witty lines  check for spelling  check the
current conversation and then delete  it’s like biting my
tongue until my mouth is full of blood  are you having fun
yet  are you having fun  this is supposed to be a relaxing
pleasure  this is my birthday present  40 hours a month on
Internet  are you having fun yet  happy birthday to me  I
type and delete  I watch closely perhaps there are
customs I can learn  to keep my foot out of my mouth and
on the right track  this is how it goes you say
or you say
hello room
or you make little smiley faces or sour ones depending on
the mood  right  I can do this if a fourteen year-old can do
this I can do this watch me  hello room I type nothing
happens … ooohh you need to send … right yes send …
see there on the screen
Boadicea:hello room it’s my birthday
I wait there are no replies Starbright is huggling evita_26 on the couch of sin Ibu and Cat_woman are discussing post modernism there are strings of letters I do not understand but no one says hello Boadicea happy birthday perhaps it is the name too prickly too British I can fix that but not tonight I can’t think of chat names Boadicea was hard enough I try again
Boadicea:hello room
1,000s of people chatting right now and none of them will talk to me.
I told Caris from work about last night and about my
present. She couldn’t believe it, he gave you what? 
Hours on the internet … what about all those internet
affairs, isn’t he worried you’ll run off? 
What rot I said fat chance I said I can’t get any one to talk
to me let alone goose me, he could have bought me a
book for my birthday, but I don’t think he’d know which
one to choose and he’s away so much, I thought he was
just being considerate.  So Caris I said, what name
should I go for and she said willing woman or sexy chick. 
Caarris!  I said what about feminism and she said well
what about it? 
Caris and I change my profile we are now sexy_chick99
sexy_chick99 enters the room we fight over who we’ll talk
to who we’ll ignore.  Willing chatters send us private
messages STUD_BOY PMs sexy_chick99 ho
sexy_chick99 please cyber send emails send photos we
laugh no photos no sex no emails just chat we say the
same thing 15 times to different chatters no pictures no
sex no home addresses we are invited to little private
rooms click yes/no.
I feel sorry for Boadicea no-one talked to Boadicea
everyone wants to talk to sexy_chick99 Boadicea has to
change her name what about Brazen_Boadicea
Bountiful_Boadicea Boadicea’s_Breasts.
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