Wait? I thought to suddenly. Wh-why am I looking at his ass? My train of thought had finally caught back up, realizations of my past thoughts caught me by surprise. I'm not gay, I told myself. "Matthew?" Sam said breaking the silence between us two, and also catching me offered.

  "Yeah?" I said back, scared that I might have impetuously said my thoughts aloud. I stood there waiting, leaned up against the kitchen island, apprehensively awaiting his response. 

  "I-I don't know." I said stumbling over my words, as I tried to piece together a response. 

  "Is there anything I can do to help?" He said, his deep raspy voice sending chills down my spine. Yeah, shut up and kiss me! My thoughts went back to the way they were before, wrong and wierd. I'm not, and nor was I gay, so why why am I thinking like this way? Why am I waiting Sam - my best friend - to man handle me? 

  I could now hear my heart pounding in my chest, the heat of my anxiety began to build, and shortly it began to my cheeks. I could feel the dripping if sweat on the undersides of my arms, and flashes of heat biting at my legs. 

  "Matthew? Hello...anyone home?" SAN said snapping me back to reality, and out of my thoughts. I stared at him, confused as to what I should say. "Okay. What's wrong? You've been acting weird all day." He said in a almost persecuting sort of tone. 

  I said nothing in return, I just quickly turned and ran. I was now outside, the sound of birds chirping and cars honking flooded into my ears. The vibrant colors of fall rushed into my eyes, filling my sight with reds, oranges, and yellows. I could feel my nose crinkle upwards at the smell of diesel fuel and freshly cut grass. 

  As I began to turn a corner I realized that I was barefooted, yet I didn't care. My vision was a blur, I could only tell that I had gone off road, because as I ran the sound of cats began a gradual decresendo. 

  The shapes of trees appeared in my line of sight more often, along with the color of fall. The feeling of wet dirt finding its way through the openings between my toes, setting my teeth on edge, but I didn't stop - I couldn't stop. I - I am just so confused, and afraid. Why was I looking at Sam so differently all of the sudden. In a sexual, lustful manner. I had always found girls attractive, not guys - and especially not Sam. 

  I ran deeper into the trees maneuvering and sucking as I'd pass by trees. My feet sinking farther into the tick - wet - mud. 

  After almost an hour of running, I just stopped. The sound of my frantic heaving bounced off the trees, along with the faced pace of my beating heart. The sounds of nature was absent, it were as if the animals were frozen in suspense, holding their breath awaiting to see what was going to happen next. 

  Frightening the forest life, was a loud crescendoing scream that exploded from my mouth, as I fell to my knees in frustration. "W...why?" I said demanding an answer. "What's wrong with me?" I blared, breaking the silence after I hadn't recived an answer to my earlier question. 

  "I don't know, you wouldn't tell me." I heard from behind. It was Sam, how did he find me? "I followed you..." he continued, "I was worried." Awe, he was worried! What he's going to want an explaintion to my erratic behavior. I thought frantically. I looked in every direction, hoping I could escape once more. "Really?" He said boldly, a hint of disappointment hung off the end of his voice. 

  "What?" I said innocently.

  "Were you going to try and run away again?" He question interogativly. 

  "N-no?" I lied, well tried to anyways.  "I- I don't want to talk about it..." I said softly, as I averted my eyes away from Sam's direction. I stood silent, embarrassed. I could hear the sound of snapping twigs and branches, and someone quietly breath louden as it grew closer to me. I could now feel the rough material of Sam's jeans. "Matthew..." he said softly, "look at me..." he said as he placed his finger under my chin, raising my eyes - still closed - to meet his. 

  I did as asked, and met Sam at eye level. Oh my... I thought to my self, as I stared into my friends eyes, his piercing blue eyes. I had never taken the time to take in the beauty of his eyes, but now that I have. Oh my!

  As I stared deep into my friends eyes, I didn't realize he was closing the distance between us, but once I did it was to late, he was kissing me. 

  Our lips were locked in a lustful and heart felt wrestle. I was completely and utterly confused, but I didn't care. I couldn't help my self, the way he'd kiss was almost hypnotic. His thick lushes lips slowly rubbing against my own, and his toungue barely making its way between my lips, sending a titivating sensation shooting through my body. 

  As the kiss continued, I began to gasp for air, as Sam pushed me up against the tree, the kisses intensity grew. I could feel Sam run his fingers through my thick corse hair, as he traveled down from my lips to my neck. I could feel his groin rub against my leg. "Sam." I gasped loudly. "Sam!" I moaned. "Sam!" I said pushing him off of me, and once again, I was running.