Growing up, I remember marriage looking a lot like a fairy tale. The idea of something being “forever” comforted me. As I got older, that perception changed slightly. The idea of marriage became less magical and more practical. I realized that the security of “forever” was pretty elusive.
In most societies around the world today, including mine (i guess the dumbest yet) the idea of marriage is literally pumped into our heads by the so called society that we grow up in. which is often also associated with romance (hahahahaha) and the whole “happily ever after” fairy tale bullshit.
And what do we get from this society? from very early childhood, to not only accept the concept of marriage, but to even long for it, and regard it as one of the most important goals in our lives, in fact the the last option for achieving happiness. Great!
For one, the Cult of the Wedding and Bridezillas (not to insult Godzilla) – the endless preparation, the invites, the flowers, the matching serviettes, the first dance, the cake cutting – and the 5 star luxury honeymoon, is quite frankly, ridiculous. And then, “alright weddings over lets pay the loan for all that glittered for the rest of our lives hunny”
I for one, if i ever get married,… nah never mind. (we ll talk about that later)
So, being fed the “happily ever after” since the starting of RIDING THE COTTON PONY , (the red badge of courage), as women, we find it difficult to determine later whether the desire for marriage is really our own, not realizing that it’s the many years of programming that we receive from the environment that’s responsible for what appears to be our “own desire.” The desiring of an artificial way of living that will later frustrate our lives and work against us. When that eventually happens we get confused and don’t understand what went wrong; after all, we were living according to the rules approved and prescribed by society amen!
Have you ever wondered how a couple that was so much in love with each other at first, can slowly grow to hate each other after getting married?
Marriage has nothing to do with love; in fact, love is destroyed by marriage. Married couples treat each other as their property, and consequently severely limit each other. If people truly knew what it means to love someone, they would let them be free individuals. Instead, marriage encourages to become dependent, and thus to give up their individuality, independence and freedom.The desire for freedom is intrinsic to human nature; we are born free individuals. people naturally want to be free, and any relationship that limits people’s freedoms will cause trouble. In a relationship where a person’s freedom is being limited, it’s only a matter of time before they start to (often subconsciously) rebel against it.
Thus this freedom has limits, and that’s where the love comes my folks. You see this “love” thingy is just a 4 lettered bombshell word that could fool an entire universe until, until someone somewhere can give a meaning to it.
All things considered, sadly we all are getting married for all the wrong reasons!!!
One – If you’re getting married for no other clear reason than the fact that you’re influenced by society’s brainwash that has programmed you to want to tie yourself to a partner for the rest of your life, then you’re doing it for the wrong reason.
If you’re doing it because you claim to love someone, then you’re also doing it for the wrong reason, simply because true love has nothing to do with ownership of an individual. Ownership of another human being and limiting their freedom, in any way, is wrong.
If you’re doing it for economic reasons, then you’re definitely doing it for the wrong reasons. You got a brain and a pair of hands and legs? So do i m’lady, go get a bloody job whore.
Women these days essentially behave like prostitutes, seeking out the best candidates for trading sex and intimacy with economic gain and stability. If you’re getting married for sexual gratification, then boy are you in for a surprise?
If you’re getting married because you don’t want to be lonely or are afraid to grow old alone and need someone to take care of you, you’re also doing it for the wrong reasons.
Man you really shouldn’t get married to someone just because you’re afraid to grow old alone and wonder who’ll take care of you; it’s not right to treat someone else as some kind of an insurance policy for your old age. uurrgh!
Marriage is not an achievement nor a time measurement system nor a reward that anybody can graduate or master a PHD on, and just because you are married with kids by 25 doesn’t mean that the other women are hoeing around. Some of us aren’t ready yet.
Apart from all of the above wrong reasons, what i personally believe is that, marriage does not have to be what everyone else wants to be. The bitter truth is that even our parents, relatives, siblings may want you to get married to a specific person whom they even have no clue about how the turn out would be in a few years in to marriage but HE, seems to be handsome , smart, earns well, good family reputation and has a secure job?
NO! when the initial infatuation feeling fades and you have to do the real work of learning how to love and be loved? something infinitely richer and sustaining than flimsy infatuation flowers in the garden of your marriage? There will be nobody my love. Its you and your rich husband who has to sit beside each other and yank out the weeds of intolerance, impatience, frustration, and fear.
Just learn that It’s work that can and must be cultivated over a lifetime, and yet we expect to enter marriage with a perfect, rose-filled garden. Again, this is the fantasy that our culture propagates and throws many young people into despair when their fledgling relationship fails to measure up to these unrealistic and damaging expectations.
Marry the guy who makes you laugh, marry the guy with a day job so he can come back home to you in the evening, marry the guy who wants to live today other than searching for fortune, marry the guy that loves adventure as much as you love road trips, marry the guy that can take life easy and who tries to live this ONE life one day at a time, most importantly, marry the man who’s main goal is to be happy in life, build a house buy a vehicle and help him do it, live the life you can afford and no you don’t have to pass your neighbor in the “who’s family is richer and happier” contest. You feel me? In other words marry the guy who is the opposite sex of your own self. Who you wanna be, he will be too. And if it takes a life time to find someone like that, just fucking WAIT!
If we’re going to restore marriage to a place of honor and respect, we must learn that the role of one’s partner is not to save you from yourself and make you feel alive, fulfilled, financially secure, fully insured and complete with gimmy choos or candle lit dinners; but being supportive, understanding, patience and hard working for your own delights.
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