Man Law Violations That Women Want Us To Engage In

 

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Chapter 1

It's not that women like emasculating their men. In fact, I'd bet if you polled 100 women, that 90 of them would state that they wanted a manly man. Tim "The Toolman" Taylor would be so proud. But for women, that line gets blurry when it comes to dealing with them. See, women don't think that anything a man does in relation to her could be considered emasculating. 

It can't be, right? It's for her. And doing what it takes to make your woman happy is the truest sign of manhood...to women. If you ask most men what we think manhood looks like there's a good chance you'll be told to go watch the movie 300 and also the exact opposite of everything Drake alludes to in his music. 
 
And yet, here we are going where we're going from where we just came from. Dating site called Loveawake.com sent over a list of things that are clear man law violations (and for which most women would probably frown upon any man she were to find out does these things...unless it was her man and she was the requester or recipient) that women want us to engage in.
 
1. Pansy-ass text messages
 
Text messaging might be the worst thing to happen to manhood ever. It used to be that you were required to say things out loud to express how you feel. With the advent of text messaging, we're required to put it on the public record. Not only that...women will "send you kisses" via text message and want you to do the same back. With full emoticon support and everything. Do you know how hard it is for a dude to send a text message with the emoticon lips and say the word "kisses" followed by "for you". Women do this stuff all the time. There's no chick law violation for being expressive. But I might get robbed if somebody saw me sending that text message. 
 
2. Being dressed by somebody other than ourselves
 
This one is a bit benign but I think every woman thinks she knows what will look best on her man. And they always buy a size too small for some reason. That's why I don't let women buy me pants. I want more children and I'm not trying to change my nickname to "The Imprint". 
 
Speaking of dress...
 
3. Wearing sandals
 
I'm not sure why in Sam Hill women always want us to show our feet within relationships. Maybe because it's harder to run away from love in Birkenstock's or something but most guys don't do toes. Women in magazines and on websites are always telling us to put our toes away. But as soon as she decides that she's found the cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutest sandals ever? You can bet your ass she's going to try to get her man to dress like he's on the U.S. Shuffleboard Qualifying Team. I've seen women clown dudes with sandals...then go home and tell her man that he would look good in them. 
 
4. Watching any show that includes housewives, runway models, wannabe models, jumpoffs, wedding dresses, weddings, etc.
 
I remember a long time ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine where I divulged that I'd been keeping up with America's Next Top Model (they had a particularly attractive set of women that cycle). Upon hearing this, my friend CLOWNED me. I mean she laid in to me with reckless abandon. I almost robbed somebody. Things got out of hand fast and I think Brick killed a guy. So after a round of pantsing at the hands of my friend I ask her what she'd do if her man watched ANTM. Her response? "Oh he watches that stuff. I make him. But I'm his woman. He should watch it because I want to watch it and a happy woman makes a happy man!" 
 
SECURITY!
 

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