The Crocodile-Brain

 

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The Crocodile-Brain

Don't say you haven't thought about it, because I know you have. We all have. It's like craving people who we find sexy. Your primitive, animal mind will go there even when the more civilized parts of you won't dare. It's a crocodile-brain thing.

So no lying. You've thought of it. We all have.

Say you're at a bar, not there to pick up anyone, just there for a drink and some conversation. Say that you're married, like I was, although I wouldn't wish that sorry fate on any man breathing. So for sake of argument you are married, in a bar, minding your own business; you follow?

And in walks this gorgeous...I don't know, brunette let's say. I'm partial to brunettes so that makes the description easier. In walks this brunette and she is a real stunner. Eye-catching and she's done up to the nines. You know you haven't got a chance so you ignore her. Turn your back on her and go back to discussing the Marlins trading Derrek Lee and cursing Larry Beinfest.

A soft-scented hand touches your shoulder, you turn and there stands that vision. She's gonna hit you up for a drink or ask for you to move down the bar runs through your head. Instead she takes a stand with Beinfest and making the club payroll viable. She's feisty and clearly spoiling for someone to call her on her bullshit. Waiting for a hard fight or a hard night, by the look in her eyes.

So you do what any red-bloodied straight man would do: you invite her to sit down and buy her a drink. And a drink turns into two drinks and then three drinks. Baseball becomes talk of relationships and you make sure you show her your wedding ring. When it makes her no never mind, you go with it.

When it's two AM and the bar closes down, you take her back to her place. Now you're the batter and there's a whole different game of baseball being played.

That's the crocodile brain for you. That's the part of you that's all animal and doesn't care what rules or ethics or morals say about any action you take. That's just the way we are wired. It's part of evolution or something, that piece that got left behind. It makes us do things before we are aware of what we've done.

Maybe a few weeks go by. Maybe you've seen her again and maybe you haven't, but things are different at home. You wife nags more, starts in on you with that sharp tone more often, curses you in front of the kids. It ain't right.

So you think of it. You consider taking care of that mouth once and for all. Snapping her neck like a twig or holding a pillow over her face that night in bed. Thinking is all, not acting. I swear it. What happened to her had nothing whatsoever to do with me.

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