1. Bravery

I was told like from an early age to sit nicely
So here I am sitting nicely and no-one is looking at me
My mummy over there hasn't looked this way in seventeen and a half minutes
But betcha if I parted my legs to aim a site at poor Mr Nijaf sitting over there
Her radar would hone in and instantly her eyes would stab me

So what's the point I ask myself
So I sit with my knees together wondering if I let out a little wee will she know
It will be warm and moist and I can fix it up later but it's not really the effect I want

What is the effect I want

If I was brave enough
I'd get the effect I want
Can I be daddy's brave little girl
I could try

I would like

Eye contact hand on my shoulder and an intention not to stop doing this for at least ten minutes
Like when I slipped on a wet floor she told me not to step on
Her mummy-jailer look finally gave way to another look entirely when she thought I might not walk again

Did she think that
I thought that
It made my heart jump in my chest

The rules are many and I don't know their reasons
Because I said doesn't cut it for a reason
My breasts
I hate my breasts
My breasts cover my heart so no man will know one's there
Men look at my breasts
I know that much
Men look at my breasts to see the colour of my heart
But all they see is breasts
That's why they stare
Thinking something's going to happen

That's what he told me one night
Men like breasts like they like starters
It's the expectation of the main course
I smiled when he said that and he thought something
I thought about the dirt mum buys to start her seedlings
It sounded funny so I smiled
I smiled and his hand moved

If I sit here much longer
Nicely
I'll grow into something unreal
Something brave

Shall I try now

If I squeeze my legs together more tightly
I can feel the steak blade I hid there
I can do it now
A little bit at a time
A pain like an arrow sails gently through me

It feels warm and comforting
Not like I thought it would
Nothing like that
Why didn't I do this before
It's wonderful
It's sweet

I want my breasts to hide what's happening to the main course
A rump being carved for dinner I think
Let the juices run pink is good
I can feel my back cement that arrow as straight as broom handles
Now this is sitting nicely

But now they're running at me
Something must've dripped
Here they come
This is what I wanted
But I must remember to show the whites of my eyes
That always works

2. The Orchid on the 14th Floor

There is an orchid on the 4th floor

Trapped in the still, apartment air

Its seven faces staring

Just staring,

Staring.

Some say phalaenopsis, some say moth

It’s stubby wings, ever so white

Hold expectantly, patiently

They will fold one day like mine

One day.

One day.

The greys and the blacks of the bustle below

Stirs the monied atmosphere

Where people rush, stop for a bit

Stop for a bite and then

Rush some more.

Not here.

Down there, touch, bumps, collisions

Avoided at all costs, can cost even fines

Up here, we scream for contact

Wishing, urging, yearning, hoping

Waiting.

Waiting.

Days go by, no movement, answer,

Not even growth, it seems to me.

No flies, no ants, no moths, no bees

To tickle its throat

And sex its genes

Not here.

So it waits, waits and waits.

No sag, decline, weep or sigh

So unlike a mirror this thing to me

It shows me pluck

But I read but waste.

And wonder.

Wonder.

Wars can wane and words can fail

And still it sits, so still

As months go by.

Its time is held

Like a freeze frame shot

Of a Becket play

Waiting.

But oh how it mocks and

Sweetens the gall

As I sit in the kitchen

And wait for your call.

3. Stratagem of a Lonely Man

I wake, and the first thing I see

Is your landscape spine curving way down, down,

I squirm, ever so slightly, to uncover more

To see the view change

To ideas of a brand new form.

You turn in your still dark sleep,

Your frown gives me a reluctant grin,

So trusting it is. So innocent. So you.

And I brush your tips

With the back of my hand

Like a slow-motion slap

That I know you enjoy. Me too.

And you stay quite still,

You seem awake somehow.

But your lids stay down,

Your barriers as well.

What couldn’t I do to you now?

That gives me pause to your last-night words,

My now grim grin fades like a smell.

You were a stranger once

What makes you not one now?

You want to share my bed,

My bank account as well.

This is what we do, us creatures here,

I feel my heart-beat say.

But if I fail to remind you of it

We might j-u-s-t get through one more day.

4.  THE TERRORIST

Bloody Roman arselickers

With shackles in sacks

To remind them which way to bow

Keep me dry and down trodden

In this hell of a cell

For talken and tellen what I see

All I do is talk talk talk

From the dusty trackside

And if people like what I say

Or think they might

They turn a verge to a mount

When they tell their mate

Or their aunt

When next she comes

So how was your week dear

Since I last was here

Is a hook cast by aunties

Down the eons of years

And the nosepicking nephew

Who was there at the back

Didnt hear much but

Likes to see his aunts

Eye brows raise

So he says things

And tells things

Hes seen at a glance

And coloured with what

All aunts want their nephews to tell

That a bloke

Me this is ya see says

The meek shall inherit the earth

Of course the meek love hearing that

And this too

Did you hear the one about the camel and pin

But the stand-up gets all twisted in the reretellen

And so here I am in a dusty hole

That smells of piss wetdog like

Because someone with eyesapoppen

Says I said somethen stand out godlike

And I did but who got the gist

So now I have to bare my arse to bootjacks

To speak to mates I have who know

What really went on

And what I really said was

Kill the fuckers and send em packen

Back to where they came from

They eat what we dont eat

They praise what we don’t praise

They sing what we don’t know

They favour what we think vile

What the fuck are they doen here

And I hear about one dirtsmeared whore

Called Mary my mothers name do you mind

Who says she loves me and yes she does

Cos I did her a favour 

Once

And now Im a miracle worker

With hangerson just waiten

To see me do it again

And again

Like the do I went to

A wedden

Pissed in a wine jar

Thought it was dry

But they drank it and marvelled

Ya see

The depth of flavour my arse

The fuckers were too pissed to know

Every girl every bloke

So word gets round

And round and round

The water I turned to wine

And Im havin a great fucken time

Cheap wine bloody oath cheap

But then it gets out of hand

And theyre stalken me

And walken me

To see me do it all over again

Then

You wont believe this

Some dude runs from his burial cave

As Im sayen nice things

Mid rave

As you do at funerals

And so Im a hero

Bringen him back to life

Hell

Fuck me

If you knew the life he led

You wouldnt be wishen him

Back from the dead

But word gets out none the less

All twisted yeah and what a mess

No wonder I need a backup crew

To punch and paths to clear

So twelves a bit rich

I know

But watta ya do

If thats what they want

A jobs a job

And the fishens shit this year

Tried it too

Took em all out in an open boat

Teachen them to earn a crust

But ran aground

So I gets out

Ankle deep

No big deal

To lighten the load

But word gets back

To the aunts you bet

And theyre talken on it

And talken on it

And they add a bit here

And add a bit there

And wamo

Im walken on it

Im a weirdo magnet

No sweat

And now Im off to see

This poostabben bloke and I know

It wont go well

What the fuck can I say

He dont speak the lingo

So Ill say what I say

And some bloke will tell

It on and on and on

And get it all wrong

But because of some shiela

Some daughter of Zion no less

To impress

It will all be exploded

And the storyll go

Round and round

Oo-ah and jump up and down

Theyll go find

Societies and cliques

That demand special clothes

Head gear bells odd day weeks

Flowing robes

So theyll stand high from the mob

Who wont have a clue

But wholl want to ask a few

Like the meaning of life

And theyll say something grand

That will basically mean we have to

Remain in the shit-hole were in

And stand

In the sun and sell

Shrivellin dates and shrivellin bums

But give us some loot

And a ticket to boot

To the life after death

No evidence but

Trust us they say and trust em youll do

And those twelve blokes

Of mine will write it all

On tablets in tomes

And mark them sold

For pieces of gold

But what I need now

Is a godlike jaunt

Ill stuff thunder in a jar

A Volcano no less

And lob it in straight

At the temple door

Kaboom

And then theyll take heed

Theyll listen to me then

More god like then

Yeah thats what I need

Fucken yeah

5. Poetry

Poetry poetry
What is it you are
A house made of cards
A heart in a jar

Poetry poetry
Get out of my hair
I'd rather play golf
Give birth to a chair

Poetry poetry
Leave me alone
There's dishes to do
And people to phone

Poetry poetry
Get out of my sight
It's not about you
I've novels to write

Poetry poetry
You're a pain in the neck
A stacked deck of hopes
But wait just a sec

Poetry poetry
You're dead as din Laden
Dead as a coffin
Dead as a rhyme

6. IRONY

Our best poems

Are those that

We don’t

Write down.