"Shit". I quickly looked down to see my ankle ooze out blood from a sharp branch that brushed past it. Trying to keep quiet hiding behind that tree seemed harder than ever. My heartbeat seemed to be calling out as if saying "I'm over here...I'm over here...I'm over here." Slowly panning my head to the left and then to the right I knew it still wasn't safe to come out. It's just that feeling you have. Still out of breath, I lifted my head and closed my eyes hoping that trying to relax would slow down my heart beat but it only made it worse. Hearing the sound of an old leaf snap, I jerked my head down and held my breath. My breathing sped up in sync with my chest lifting and landing in anticipation. I should just run I thought to myself. Ready. Go. But I couldn't move. It was too risky and the closest tree seemed 30 feet out. No point. As this thought flooded my mind, my feet had a thought of it's own and began to pick up speed. I was on my way to the next tree. Almost there. Only a few more feet. "GOT CHA!!" soon I felt nothing beneath me except the warm afternoon sun beating down on my eyes as he lifted me in the air holding me like a newborn baby feeding. "You know I always catch you" He looked down at me with a sweat mustache and kissed my forehead. his smile always seemed brighter than the future and more eager for the present . That made me hug his neck and laugh out of happiness just knowing I was in his arms. Who cares if I lost yet another game of tag with him. It's only the billionth time. He put me down wrapping his arm around me, and graced me with another kiss on the side of my head. In return I rested my hand on his as we walked back to our picknick blanket. "You know...one day I'm gonna win and soon I'll be the one lifting you into the air." He looked down at me with a sly grin. "Ok hulk girl..I'll be waiting for that." He squeezed my cheek and let go of me to sit on the daisy printed sheet. A few pasta stains were on it along with a watered down lemonade jugg. He poured some in a foam cup and chugged it as if it were his last drink. "Want any?..it's a little washed down but it's hot as balls out here." I tilted my head to look at it, and instead grabbed the water bottle that was rested behind him. A look of 'yeah that would taste a little better' was on his face. Even though it was the late afternoon the heat believed otherwise. It's the highest it's been in over two weeks. Heat waves from a bench in the distance sizzled. A girl riding her bike back to which I assumed was home, took a swig of her bottled container while riding. "Hey...everything ok?" he said. I quickly turned forward to look at him and realized he had a confused look on his face and raised his hand to brush my cheek. "yes I'm sorry." I said with a chuckle. "It's just so gorgeous out today It couldn't be any better." Are you kidding me?...as if the sun didn't need a break from last week being 92 degrees, it decided to do a grand finally." He chugged down yet another cup of lemonade then decided just to drink from the container knowing I didn't want any. "When's your next doctors appointment?". I said with a squinted eye. I knew I should have waited until after he finished drinking to ask because he choked on his last gulp. Wiping his lip off with his shirt he replied with a cracked voice, "Out of all the times to ask me you choose today...come on sierra I really don't want to talk about that." He shifted his position to now having opened legs to me while his two arms rested on his knees and finished talking. "I'm not mad at you or anything...I just hate thinking about it just as much as you do." I looked down at the blanket out of guilt and couldn't help but notice thin hairs from his head resting on the blanket. He sheds already but it seems like it's more than before. I felt his hand yet again lift my chin to face him. Leaning in slowly, he slid his hands up to my cheeks to firmly squeeze them while kissing passionately. Soon I was laying on top of him, heat beating down on the back of my head. "Don't think about it as much ok? What matters now is us and that im not going anywhere...I'll be right here. And besides.... I love you too much to even have the thought of not being here." 9:16 later on that night, said otherwise. The call came in as I was brushing my hair after deep conditioning it. Evans mother was calling which is rare and in most cases, bad. "Hi Ms. Taylor is everything ok?." Her crying made chills go down my spine and all I could do was hold my breath to wait for an answer. Hold my breath as if I were hiding from Evan behind a tree. My heartbeat racing. Waiting. "It took him....the cancer...it took my boy." I dropped my cellphone into the bathroom sink while feeling my heart throb and sting. Ms Taylor began screaming out of hurt "MY BOYYY MY BOYYY!!!" over and over again. Me? I couldn't cry. I couldn't move. Nothing. I felt as though the slightest thing I did would make time keep moving and forget that my boyfriend is dead. I didn't want that so I did nothing. My door slammed open and broke the wave of complete and utter agony that I was having. With all the strength in my body, I only managed to turn halfway and see my parents from the corner of my eye. "I'm so sorry sweetheart...". The voice of my father reminded me of the time when I was 7, and he accidentally dropped my icecream that I bought with my tooth fairy money. I cried so hard in that moment seeing it spread out onto the warm concrete. "I'm so sorry sweetheart...we'll get another one." But he couldn't. He couldn't get me another boyfriend that meant the world to me. The only one that knew my deepest and darkest secrets. Everyday he had this glow. A glow that you could only have when you know the worth of yourself. A glow that I only saw him have. Months passed and I still had the water bottle of his that I drank that afternoon. I never washed the clothes that he held me in, and I never forgot that he said he loved me. The thing that people wish they would say before someone is swept from their life, he said himself. As if he knew. As if he was ready for the sickness to finish the race and win. I guess he was tired just as much as I was but more enough to let his life go into a bright abyss. I can feel him everyday now. Every second. Every minute. Every hour. I just hope one day I'll be able to hold him.