Do you ever wonder where we come from? How it’s possible that we’re made up of stardust and planets, and how we walk the earth blind to the fact that we’re magical creatures, searching for a flame of light, when we, in fact, are the light. 

Please do not be fooled. This journal is just as much for me as it is for you. I’ve come here to understand myself. Maybe you’ve flocked and landed on this page for the same reason.

This is the place where I can be myself, be open like the road. This blank page holds no judgement as it allows me to move on to the next chapter as soon as I am done with this one.

As I grow older, I’m realising more and more everyday how far I've deviated from my true self, and I'm desperately climbing North to find myself whilst I’m falling South.

I'm finding myself in books, in music, and in all of the places I'd like to go. It's almost like I'm taking seperate pieces of my existence and trying to fix them all together with ancient glue. It just doesn't cut it, and it just doesn't work, but I still try so hard and keep going at it again and again until I find another solution. One that works. Because, at the moment, all I'm doing is reassembling the shards of glass back together in a broken mirror, and the mirror can never be the same again, because you can still see the cracks in the dismantled reflection.

 Finding happiness shouldn't be so difficult, and I hope it's not as difficult for you as it has been for me. 

Sometimes I can't fathom what I feel, and why I feel that way. It's like I'm in a void, in fact, most of the time I don't feel anything; I'm numb, indifferent and tolerable to anything that gets thrown at me. Floating amongst the whip of the cool wind, torturing myself over and over again. For what?

Sometimes, words often get stuck between my heart and mouth, and suddenly, I don't feel like saying anything at all. 

Finding myself is a life long journey and one that I can't run away from, no matter how hard I've tried in the past. 

I realise now that I was just looking for distraction, because I was too afraid to face myself. In that life, I have no future, and I think that's the biggest paradox I've ever heard of, because you stare at yourself in the mirror everyday. 

Life is a cliche, it might look pretty in movies, novels and poetry. But humanity is a cliche. For we are born here to live and live here to die, and I think to die would be an awfully big adventure. 

So come with me, take my hand, and let’s explore this world together. Let’s uncover the things we love and the things that make us tick. The unknown. And maybe, we can find ourselves there too. We can find home in the dark. 

You know, that place.

Today’s lesson is to not take life so seriously. 

We are human. Sometimes we laugh, and cry - or heck even both at the same time. And sometimes, maybe at the end of the day that’s all we need, that flitter of a moment to laugh at the confusion of how we feel inside, because, well - does it really matter? Maybe we’re meant to just feel and feel and grab at life with all we have, and not question it twice. 

All we’re doing here is feeling our way around blindly without really knowing where we’re going. We are all ultimately on the same ship. We are all yearning to understand and be understood. It’s what drives us to the do the things we do. Take revenge, we want that person to suffer like we have suffered at their hands. When you tell a joke you want that person to laugh how you laughed when it rang through your ears. 

It’s all about getting people to experience what you have experienced, and if that means pulling them down to our level, or hoisting them up to a higher train of thought, that’s what we will do. Maybe we all just want to be one and whole.

    The voice in your eyes is deeper than all vines green,

And if I am to die tomorrow, then make me never seen,

For all the things I’ve done and the places I have been,

And if you were a pillar, you’d be the one I’d lean,

But oh my, I’ve never seen eyes so green.

So when I die and I depart, 

Wipe their memories of me right from the start.

I don’t want them to miss me in your embrace, 

And when they find me gazing at you, straight into your face.