Friendship is Madness


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I had the (apparently insane) idea to combine My Little Pony, a children's cartoon, and Vampire: The Masquerade, a table top game, into one twisted fanfiction.


Stay with me here...This is not vampire ponies. I repeat, these are NOT vampire pones!


What I have done instead is apply the personalities of the ponies and other characters of Equestria to a Vampire: The Masquerade-type setting. I have used their personalities to determine which clan I believe best suited them, and then just slightly altered their personalities to fit the World of Darkness universe for story-telling purposes.

The plot of this series is taken directly from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. They are altered in the same way to apply to a new universe.

I do not claim that this is an original plot or that the Vampire: The Masquerade vampire "types" are my own creation. This is just a "for fun" fanfiction. Furthermore, if you see the same first few chapters on another site, I had started this on Blogspot before coming here, so this is not theft. I'm just relocating to keep all of my written work here.

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Episode 1 - Into the Madness

Akiko walked the lonely streets at night. She was used to this town. She weaved in and out of the walkways and paths, through alleys and crossing roads, never lifting her head from her precious book. It didn't matter what book it was. As long as it was a book she was usually happy with it. That's all the matter to her, her precious books.

A sharp gasp escaped the lips of a woman nearby. "You're coming to!" exclaimed the voice.
"I wasn't expecting to be coming to," replied Akiko, grabbing her head.
Giggles arose from the lips. Akiko searched for them but her eyes were still trying to focus in the darkness of wherever they were. "It must be time for my orgy!"
Akiko scooted back quickly and with great shock, "What in the flying fuck are you talking about?!"
"Will you shut your fat mouth Pembe?!" came another voice. "It's not a damn orgy you fucking psycho."
Akiko could see now. The one called Pembe sulked next to her on her knees. Her short black dress just touching her knee high boots as she began to sob.
A deep sigh came from across the room, "Did you have to get her crying you brute? Now we'll have no peace."
"Well who in their right mind wants to wake up from a konk on their head to find out they've been dragged to an orgy?! Especially when it's not true!"
"Well it could be anything really!" came a proper sounding voice. So much was going on and Akiko was having trouble keeping up.
"Who in the hell are all of you and what is going on?!" she asked.
"I wonder how many times we'll have to do this," came the proper voice.
"Oh hush," came the brute. "We'll do it as many times as we have to. No sense in leaving people in the dark." Pembe laughed uproariously at that. "I didn't mean it like that!" the brute shouted. "I'm Jackie. The laughing one is Pembe, as I'm sure ya heard. Miss Priss over there - "
"Hey!" protested Miss Priss.
" - is Tiffany," continued Jackie the brute, "and the sighing one there in the corner is Iris."
"I'm Akiko...Is that everyone then? And what's going on?" she demanded.
Iris spoke up, "There's another girl over there," she pointed, "but she won't say a damn word to one of us."
The one in the corner that wouldn't speak was in a flowing yellow top and hopefully something underneath. Her bare legs were outstretched before her ending in simple sneakers. She had long, light, flowing hair. Pembe was now tracing her fingers over the crevices in the stone flooring. Her thick, curly hair covered her face. Jackie stood leaning against the wall in tattered jeans and a tank. Her shoulder-length, blonde, hair appeared rough and messy. Iris was in black, form-fitting pants, black long sleeves and combat boots. She was difficult to see but the beam she was hanging off of was attached to an old candelabra that had a few candles still lit. She was very dark and had a short, choppy hair style. Miss Priss, also known as Tiffany, was in a stunning knee-length dress. It alternated between lace and a dark, opaque fabric. It seemed very fancy. Her long wavy black hair teased at her breasts and her back with every movement.
"Well there has just got to be some reason for this!" Akiko demanded.
"I'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough," Iris shrugged and stepped forward a bit.
"She's right," Jackie continued. "Whoever brought us all here is sure to make themselves known sooner or later."
"I want my orgy!" Pembe whined.
"God you'd think you were a damn..." Jackie stopped. 
"A damn what?" Akiko asked.
Jackie crossed her arms. "Nothing."
"Do you know something I don't?" Akiko ventured.
"Everybody knows something somebody don't," Jackie retorted. Akiko sighed and gave up on the matter. She began to make her way around the room examining the walls the held them.
"I'm sorry," came the prissy sounding Tiffany, "but I was just wondering...Do you think we are all morons?!" She sounded quite annoyed.


"Well," Akiko responded as she continued to move around the room. "as Jackie so eloquently put it, 'everybody knows something somebody don't,'" she said with a smirk. Jackie made an audible grunt. Akiko thought it safe enough. It's not like mere humans would notice anyway. She concentrated and raised her ability to see that which might normally remain hidden. Perhaps she was wrong though. Pemba began laughing quietly. Then she began to sing.
"Got a secret. Can you keep it? Swear this one you will save. Better lock it in your pocket. Taking this one to the grave!" With that she got herself into a fit of giggles. She began dancing around the room, skipping and singing. Akiko tried to ignore her but Pemba wasn't going to have that. She walked right up to her, "So it's not an orgy afterall," she chuckled maniacally. "Sister!" She threw her arms around Akiko.
"What on Earth are you doing?!"
"Akiko!" came a hushed whisper. Akiko recognized the voice. She threw Pemba off of her and followed the voice. "Akiko!" There it came again. Akiko rushed about the room til she came to a boarded up window hidden behind some of the bars rushing up to the ceiling. She squeezed through and tried to pry the wood loose but it wouldn't budge.
"It's okay," it whispered. "I'm working on it already."
"Ryuunosuke?" Akiko gasped. "Are you out of your fucking mind?!" 
"Shut up before you destroy my cloak!" Ryuunosuke scolded.
"I'm...I'm sorry..." Akiko felt so confused.
"I'm speaking with the others in the sewer Akiko. Don't worry. Whatever's going on it doesn't seem that they mean you any harm. It might even just be a deranged prank. I'll find out. I'll speak to you again here when I can. Be safe Akiko."
"Oh Ryuunosuke..."
"Hush," he responded. "I'm not the one in there. You are. Now take care of yourself." With that, he was gone. A loud creak came from behind her. She hurried back to the main area. Everyone was, in one way or another leaning towards where she had been but she had no chance to explain. The creak continued and a large, heavy door opened from the center of the room. Out from the floor a large wood and metal door lifted up and out came a beautiful woman in a long, flowing, white, dress.
"I am the Princess of your dungeon - "
"I don't know of any Princesses in America in the 21st century miss," interrupted Jackie.
"EVERY BRIDE IS A PRINCESS!" the woman snapped. Jackie was shocked into silence. The woman regained composure. "Now if you'll all follow me downstairs."
"Ew! What kind of rat infested - " Tiffany was cut off.
"NOW IF YOU'LL ALL JUST FOLLOW ME DOWNSTAIRS!" The woman seemed easily irritated and it seemed that everyone had their reasons but whatever they were, they all followed her down the winding staircase. Akiko followed last, staring longingly at the corner where she knew the covered window was. How would Ryuunosuke know she was alright? How would they communicate now as they went even deeper down the rabbit hole.


The women all followed the mysterious woman in white down the stairs until they came to a beautifully decorated ballroom. There was an aisle down one half of one side with white ribbon gracefully touching the top of each bench down to the end of the aisle. The other half of the ballroom was empty save for an unattended set of instruments on a platform against a back wall. None of this is what startled them though. What startled them most was the splatter of blood in the middle of the room. Next to it was a young girl dressed in a light aqua dress with frills coming down to her knees. It appeared that she had been bleeding from the neck but that it had now stopped. She was holding a small, intricate looking mirror face down in her lap and whimpering softly.
"Now go play my sweet children," said the woman in white.
"Are you mad?!" exclaimed Tiffany. "One, I am NOT a child. Two, I am not sweet." 
She didn't get a chance to continue, "I SAID PLAY MY SWEET CHILDREN!"
"Now listen here you white-clad pyschopath," Iris had had enough. "I don't know what you're playing at or what's going on but I've had a-fucking-nuff of it!" 
"As have I!" proclaimed Tiffany.
"I'm ready to know what's going on as well," Akiko chimed in.
Pemba ripped off a white streamer from one of the aisles and danced around the room with it rather gleefully. "It's a party! Just like I said!"
"You said it was an orgy," mumbled Jackie.
"An orgy is a type of party!" Pembe exclaimed.
"Sister, stop this!" The little girl half insisted and half whispered.
"Larissa need friends."
"I have you," she responded. The woman in white appeared to have regained some of her senses with her little sister's words. "Please," she implored, "send these poor people on their way."
"But my party!" Pemba whined.
"To be honest little girl," Akiko butted in, "I'm not interested in going anywhere until I know exactly what's going on.
"But you need friends," said the woman in white with great desperation. She collapsed her head into her hands and fell to her knees. The little girl stood up, wobbled a bit and stepped forward to address us.
"Today was supposed to be a special day...I got in the way...I guess..." The woman in white jumped up.
"You did no such thing Larissa!" She put her hand over her chest and held her sisters face into her side. "My name is Eloise and..." she paused as she choked up, "I'm afraid I owe you all apology."
"You're damn skippy you do!" Jackie spoke up.
"Please," implored Larissa, "she...she just wanted me to be happy. Jackie glared but let her continue.
"You see," Eloise sighed deeply, "Today wedding day. Today I was to become a proud member of a proud family but a dirty, vengeful Lasombra snuck in and took my sister, leaving her here for me to find when I came to wed."
Everyone was speechless. Each woman stared in silence until they were interrupted by Pembe's loud, insane laughter. Jackie and Iris seemed to simultaneously facepalm at her act. "What on Earth are you doing girl?" asked Tiffany.
"The look on your faces!" Pembe exclaimed. She ran over and put her hand on Eloise's shoulder. "I gotta tell ya, I didn't think it'd be quite this good but it's hysterical!"
Eloise and Larissa turned to her slowly, "Uh...what?" asked Eloise.
"You Giovanni," mused Pembe. "It's like you're deaf!" she exclaimed.
"You mean none of you - "
"That's light lady in white!" Pembe responded with a giggle. "Allow me," she went around the room tapping their heads in her own little game of duck, duck goose.
She tapped Eloise, "Giovanni!" She tapped Larissa, "Lasombre!" She tapped Akiko, "Tremere!" She tapped Jackie, "Brujah!" She tapped Iris, "Assamite-y!" She tapped Tiffany, "Tor-reader!" Finally she tapped the quiet girl, Gangrel!"
Everyone turned to her and seemingly unanimously exclaimed, "You're a Gangrel?!"
She nodded shyly, her hair dangling in front of her face, "Hi..." She spoke barely above a whisper. "I'm Vanessa."
Pembe broke the silence in a fake, deep voice, "And I'm the network that speaks to the children! Muwahahaha!!!"
"Called it," Jackie said smugly.
"I'm so sorry," Eloise broke in. "I had no idea you were all sitting there not knowing the other were kindred. I just...," she took a deep breath and continued, "Larissa was supposed to be embraced by the Giovanni, like myself, once she was old enough. I have," she was clearly frustrated, "I just have no idea why some random cretin would break into my wedding, and turn my sister into a Lasombre!"
"Look," interjected Akiko," I appreciate that you want answers and you don't want her to be an outcast from your Giovanni family but, again, with the kidnapping and the whacking us on the head and - "
"Akiko!" came a voice from the stairwell.
Everyone turned around to see a figure in a long trench coat standing at the bottom of the stairwell. "Ryuunosuke!" Akiko exclaimed. She ran up to him and threw her arms around him.
"Nossy fu!" Pemba exclaimed!
"How does she do that?!" Jackie asked.
"Malkavians are often seers into great wisdom and knowledge if one can but unlock the key," Akiko answered. She turned again to Ryuunosuke, "I'm okay. It was all a big misunderstanding."
"I know of course," chuckled Ryuunosuke.
"You're friends with a Nos?" asked Iris.
"He's the only friend I have," Akiko smiled.
"I've never even met a Nosferatu before," whispered Vanessa.
"Oh please," interjected Eloise with great sadness.
"Yes, yes. We all know you want friends for your sister but this was truly madness!" Tiffany almost shouted.
"Look," Eloise pleaded, "I'm very wealthy. I have many connections across all clans. I will give each of you my information," she passed out fancy looking business cards to everyone there. "Please, keep in touch with me," she put her arms around Larissa," and my sister. Help us discover who this Lasombre was and why they did this to her. I will reward you in every way I can. I am," she took a deep breath, "hiring to speak."
Some of the group was more excited than others about the idea. Iris punched her fist into her hand, "A job! Ooh I've been waiting for a good job."
"I have no reason to be a part of this," Tiffany turned up her nose. "I'm a fashion designer!"
"I'll get you tickets to the fashion show in Milan this fall and money to buy any three outfits you want." Eloise coaxed.
"Done." Eloise smiled.
"Well I suppose I could detour a bit from my everyday routine," she flipped her hair. "I have your card Miss Eloise." She passed Akiko and Ryuunosuke and started making her way up the stairs.
"Wait!" Akiko stopped her. "We're supposed to be on this together. We need to know all of each others' information for such a task."
"Task!" Jackie came forward. "Task? I didn't sign up for no mother fucking task!"
"You'll get to beat on people and any repercussions will be taken care of by me personally."
Jackie raised a brow, "All right I'm in...but I wanna know how this is going down!"
"Akiko, are you and your friend in?" Eloise inquired.
Akiko whispered in his ear. He smiled and nodded. "We're in!" Akiko exclaimed.
Pembe bounced around and up to Eloise, "The wind blows through your ears but I'll help you look through the looking glass Alice!"
Eloise stared blankly, "Okay...then..."
"Vanessa dear?" Eloise turned to the small girl in the flowing yellow tank and khaki shorts."
"Um I..."
"Yes dear?"
"I uh..."
"Dear you must speak up."
"ANIMALS!" she shouted. Everyone just stared at her. "I mean...I"
"What do you like? What can I do to convince you? Please, you here, you women, are the only ones who will ever truly understand my situation. I need you.
"Um...but...the animals..."
"What animals?"
"At...the zoo...I was to.."
"I will let you travel to any zoo in the world, all of them, if you so desire. Please, just help me. Help my sister."
"" Vanessa answered somewhat reluctantly.
"Brilliant!" Eloise exclaimed. "I really am so sorry. If you go to the corner of 10th and Market I'll have someone waiting there with refreshments for you as well as keys to a place for all of you to stay while you work for the Giovanni family.
"We're going to stay together!?" Tiffany sounded horrified.
Eloise chuckled, "You'll all have separate rooms with appropriate decor."
"This is like frickin' America's Next Top Model only we're gonna do some threatenin' and killin'," Jackie popped her knuckles and smirked.
Iris rolled her eyes, "Whatever, we're getting a free place to stay, 'refreshments' and a job with pay. Whatever else is part of this equation doesn't matter to me," she shrugged.
"Again," she seemed desperate, "I'm very sorry!" Most of the women and Ryuunosuke ignored her awkward apology and made their way up the stairs. It was time for a free meal and they all knew where to go.
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Episode 2 - Tickets to the Ball

Akiko was flipping through the mail for the house, looking for any sign of a task from Eloise. It had been nearly a week already with no word. The girls were getting restless. Pembe was beginning to speak as if it was all a dream they had been tricked into believing. "Ah-ha!" exclaimed Akiko. There was an aged-looking envelope with intricate, cursive writing on it. It was addressed to "the women of friendship". Akiko rolled her eyes and opened it as she walked in. She sat herself down in a wingback chair in the living area of their new home. It had seemed funny to her that they all up and decided to live together for the sake of a job, a job they had to perform together. They only way she could make sense of it is that they must have, in some way, been just like her. Maybe they were longing for something more in their lives as badly as she was. Maybe they needed more than whatever it was they already had. Akiko had her books. She needed more than her books. Tiffany came in squealing with glee with Iris coming in after her with her eyes rolling. 
"How can you possibly have those tickets?!"
"Huh?" Akiko asked staring blankly at her.
"Are you daft?!" Tiffany responded as she grabbed the tickets away from Akiko. "These are invitations to the Prince's introductory ball!"
"But..." Akiko blinked a few times in her confusion as she collected her thoughts, "He was just...inaugurated?"
"Well of course!" Tiffany exclaimed. "Where have you lived until now? Under a rock?!" Akiko said nothing. Tiffany rolled her eyes. "The Prince's introductory ball is where he speaks on his platform and introduces his cabinet."
"Doesn't quite sound like your cup of tea," Iris humphed with a smirk.
"But it's one of the biggest events one can attend!" Tiffany replied.
Iris continued, "When a Prince is inaugurated it's usually a pretty sudden event considering the circumstances. No one is expected to have their full cabinet picked out and their platform prepared at inauguration. The introductory ball allows the Prince to speak and connect with their subjects."
"How can you have never heard of such a thing?!" Tiffany exclaimed.
"I'm not much of a socialite?" Akiko offered.
Tiffany counted the tickets, "Well there does appear to be enough for all of us. Thank! Goodness!" She dropped the other tickets on the coffee table and almost bounced out of the room with joy. 
Iris grabbed hers. "This'll be sweet." She left with a two finger salute and that smirk of hers.
Akiko turned to the letter. It seemed to her that there wasn't enough attention paid to it in the excitement of the invitations. Akiko read the letter and with each word she was more intrigued. She continued on, hand to her mouth in shock. Finally she could take it no longer. She burst through the doors looking for the others. She found most of them in the kitchen. Iris, Vanessa and Jackie were all having a drink. Eloise had been kind enough to keep the fridge stocked with a hefty supply of blood. Pembe was flipping through channels in the conjoined den faster than she could have possibly appreciated anything on any one channel.
"We heard about the tickets," Jackie said as she flashed her ticket around.
"Yes but," Vanessa stammered, "Tiffany didn't tell us why we got tickets."
"Yeah," smacked Iris between sips. "I figured Miss Books here would clue us in."
"That I will," chimed Akiko. "You'll just never guess!"
Pembe spoke up. "I could," she said without taking her eyes from the television, "but where's the fun in that?" She chuckled and continued watching the flipping channels.
"I should go get Ryuunosuke and Tiffany first. Where are they?"
"Aww come on!" Iris protested. "You gonna tease us like that and then not give it up?" She fell down into a recliner in front of Pembe's insane channel switching. 
"I could fill you in," she giggled.
"I'll be right back!" Akiko rushed off to Tiffany's and Ryuunosuke's rooms.
"Well go on then!" Iris scooted towards Pembe.
Akiko was rushing Tiffany off the phone to some friend in fashion in some other language that Akiko had no interest in even trying to decipher.
"Mirror mirror on the wall sits in Prince's chambers in the fall." Pembe responded to Iris without missing a beat in her channel flicking.
"Okay," Iris said intently. "I can figure this out."
Akiko finally got Tiffany off the phone and asked her to go downstairs.
"Only if I can take my drawing pad with me," she humphed. Akiko relented with rolled eyes and Tiffany went downstairs with her drawing pad. Akiko made her way to Ryuunosuke's room. He was sitting quietly, looking out the window at the night sky.
"Do you mean to say the Prince is sleeping with a Malkavian?!" Iris asked with shock.
Pembe abruptly turned off the television and turned to Iris with a look of slight insult. "And when was the last time you looked in the mirror of madness? Did it turn you mad or did you only see your reflection?"
Iris stared blankly, "What did I do?"
"You don't tango. You're a flamingo with your loud clappers thinking they speak words of great wisdom," Pembe responded half mockingly and half annoyed.
Jackie laughed from the kitchen. "Don't dance the dance if you don't know the steps!"
Pembe turned to look at Jackie. "You got a thin skull," she said with a smile.
"What the hell does that mean!?" Jackie almost lunged with anger.
"Or maybe it is thick," sighed Pembe.
"Ryuunosuke?" Akiko asked cautiously.
"My own room..." he trailed off.
Akiko put her arms around him from behind, "Been enjoying the view huh?"
He turned to meet her, "Very much so!" he said enthusiastically. He turned back to the window, "The moon, I feel as if I haven't seen it in forever, and it's not that I haven't. It's just that I'm seeing it in a whole new light." Akiko giggled. "So to speak," he added with a chuckle.
"Come downstairs with me. I've got even more to share with you."
He followed her hand in hand to the main level and sat at a bar stool at the far end of the kitchen that opened into their den. Tiffany was sketching away madly. Vanessa was still finishing her drink quietly on a bar stool on the other end from Ryuunosuke. Iris was sitting in the den clearly thinking intently and Jackie was leaning against the kitchen counter looking impatient. Pembe was sitting with her head leaning back and her legs all outstretched in front of the off television. Akiko just thought it best to come out with it.
"There's an antitribu Lasombra in the Prince's cabinet."
"Holy shit!" exclaimed Jackie. "I thought Lasombra outside the Sabbat were usually killed?!"
"Unless they kill their killers," Iris chimed in thoughtfully.
"That's right," Akiko continued. "According to Eloise,"
"Oh the princess," mocked Tiffany. Jackie chuckled.
Akiko continued, "According to Eloise he was hunted down but killed those who hunted him so the Lasombra have let him be. She doesn't want to ask us infiltrate the Sabbat, for obvious reasons, so she thought this would be a perfect opportunity for us to gain more information. She'll be there as well. Apparently her husband is the Giovanni Primogen for the Prince's domain."
"Oh the ball!" exclaimed Tiffany. "How could she give us such short notice?! How ever will I find a dress in time?!" she whimpered.
"Anyway..." Akiko went on. "She feels that it'd be a good opportunity to gain more information and she said that we may stay as long as we like and to enjoy ourselves at this special occasion." Akiko was moderately interrupted by Tiffany's sad whimpering. "Aaaannddd," she continued with a smirk, "look at this!" She flashed a giant wad of money. "Eloise gave us each an 'allowance,' so to speak, to get appropriate clothes for this evening." Tiffany bolted up, dropping her pad and pencil, grabbed her portion and ran off to her room.
"Shall we leave in 30 minutes? Alrighty then!" she called back in a singsong voice.
Ryuunosuke sulked in his chair. Akiko approached him with a look of concern. "I thought you said you had more to share with me?"
"Well aren't you excited?" He stared back at her blankly. Akiko smiled. "Here," she handed him his share of the money and his ticket. 
"I'm...going too?" he asked cautiously.
"Well of course!"
"But...I'm..." he sulked a bit.
"There will be two other Nosferatus there as well," she gleamed.
He instantly sat upright, something he rarely did. "Really?" he asked excitedly.
"And one's a girl," Akiko giggled. Ryuunosuke blushed and made his way to the fridge for a drink.
"We still have to leave soon."
"I know," he sipped. "I have to have some blood in me to hold my cloak for the trip." He smiled and blushed a little again. Akiko nodded knowingly. He'd need his strength to keep up his obfuscate in the crowds of downtown while they went shopping. The group split and went on their way with the agreement that they'd meet back at the house an hour before they were supposed to leave for the ball.

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Episode 3 - The Prince and the Council

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Episode 4 - Meeting the Primogen

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Episode 5 - Akachi's Battle

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Episode 6 - Jackie's Not So Quiet Exit

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