Valentine: My heart, I wanted it to start to heal from being bruised and beaten. In order to do that, I have to leave, I have to run, and I have to be able to start a new beginning.

      Alexavier: I do whatever the hell I want. I answer to no one because they answer to me. They say I’m a cold-hearted bastard but they’re wrong, because I don’t have a heart to feel the chill within.

      What will happen when their paths crossed? Can the girl’s heart be heal by a boy who’s not afraid to lose everything or will it end up broken?

“Bitch! What a useless bitch you are!”

“A good for nothing cunt!”

“You’re alone! Your parents leave you because they didn’t love you!”

“No one loves you!”

I jolt awake as the dreams continue to hunt me. I run my fingers through my messy hair and calm my harsh breathing before climbing out of bed. I let my feet drag me inside the bathroom enough for my body to fit.

I splash some water to my face and stare at the girl in front of me. Her hair is nothing but a tumble of dark brown waves, her nose looks normal, her lips pale and trembling but her eyes a striking shade of blue, green and specks of yellow. It would look so beautiful if not for the lost look it emits.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I return to my bed which is only a few steps away. I sit at the edge and looks around at my tiny room. There are cracks in the walls with the paint chopping off, an old dresser in the corner and a white mono-block chair. A little lampshade place near my bed just enough to illuminate my surroundings. It may look worse, but for me it’s more than enough, its’ my safe place now, the one I can call my own.

I glance at my alarm clock and it reads five too early in the morning but I decided I can no longer go back to sleep so, I change my clothes and grab my purse and walk out through my door making sure to lock it.

I cautiously take my steps towards the dim hallway afraid to wake the neighbors from deep slumber. A small sigh of relief escapes when I finally made it out the building and I hug myself as the chilliness of the air smack my skin.  I’ve been here for a nearly a month and discovers that I like to take a walk especially before the sun rises and decided to give the earth the warmth it needs.

I make a stop to get a cup of hot chocolate from a 24/7 shop. My eyes wander around, finding something that will amaze it while taking a sip and savouring the sweet and warm feeling that invades my tongue. I finally walk faster when I saw a flicker of orange, red and yellow. I have to be there before the magic starts.

I remove the chains around the rusty Iron Gate and carefully push it forward, just enough for my body to fit. I push my way through some bushes, wild plants and even trip a few times before my lips tilted upwards.

There, at the far corner of the wild and tangled field, a tree rose above everything else, it looks so sturdy and high but not difficult to climb. Thankfully the makeshift ladder I make last time I was here is still here, so I confidently climb, one foot onto the other, until I arrive in my perfect spot. I adjust my body so that my back is press against the trunk, one knee perch up while my other leg is dangling in the air.

I smile as I witnessed the magic unveil. It’s where the sun rises unhurriedly, and the ray of lights flow from below the ground, lighting up the soil, the stems of the plants until it reach their leaves and still rises until the whole place brightens up. I let out a happy sigh as the warmth touches my cheeks, I lean a little forward basking it in. The feel of the heat just enough to warm my blood to keep boiling and my heart to keep on pumping, indicating I’m alive and breathing, is so much more than I can ask for.

***

“Girl, I’m sorry. I know, you really need your job but Ms. Cruella Devilla is being a monster again and you’re the one she chose to sink her claws in” Jimson said truthfully and I can’t even will myself to react when I hear the news of me getting fired.

“Here’s your last pay check and again I’m sorry. I’ll try to help you find another job if you want but it will be difficult with your… er’ situation” he wince as he tries to downplay his words

I just shake my head and give him a sad smile. I really appreciate the things that he’d done for me ever since I came to this big city.

He squeeze my shoulder and say “I have to go back in the storage room and make some inventory” and all I can do is give him a timid nod

Miss Dina, a bitter 40 or so year old owner of the pet store I just got fired from, said that I’m an idiot for giving her beloved cat sparkle a sausage from across the street. Her cat is said to be allergic of process foods, and she was so horrified when she found it convulsing in the ground. I didn’t know that her cat has any allergies and I wouldn’t have fed it the stupid sausage if she had just ate her cat food from her damn bowl.

I sigh and make my way to the counter and pick up a post it note and a pen, and written:

“When I met you, it’s a first that I feel grateful,

Thank you.

~Valentine”

With that I walk out, thinking making a new beginning is not as easy as it seems.

Some people say that money can’t buy everything, including happiness, love and care. But, money is very essential in sustaining our wants and needs, right now I couldn’t stop the gasp of disbelief that escapes from my lips while I look at the money I have left. Twenty-seven dollars and fifteen cents, that’s all the money I have after I was fired from my job.

I shake my head, frustrated on how I will manage my living situation. How will I be able to pay the upcoming rent and to put food in my empty stomach? I stretched my money for more than three weeks now. Living only in peanut butter, bread and granola bars. I tried to look for jobs but unfortunately they only shake their heads and say that I’m not what they are looking for.

I wish that I grew up normally, like any other eighteen-year-olds in the planet, then maybe, maybe I will be able to… No! I take a deep breath chastising herself. No use in dwelling in the past, you’re far away now, you’re doing well so far and you’re very far away from them, I reminded herself.

***

A series of knock startled me while I finishes my granola bar, the only food that should sustain me for a day. I cautiously stand up from my bed and unhurriedly swallow my last bite.

Maybe it’s the neighbor upstairs? She often forgot what flower pot she hidden her key, I thought when I help the older woman to look for it the other day.

When I open the door, I am surprise to see the owner of the apartment complex that I’m currently staying. The old man looks like he drunk all the liquor in the bar he just walk out. His eyes are bloodshot and his crumpled grey t-shirt screams wash me, with the dry puke and stains.

“I need money today, so you need to pay me two months’ worth”, his words slur as he blew a puff from his tobacco, I wanted to recoil from the smell of it, because it reminds me of what I’m running from.

I gasp in shock and horror, how can I pay the rent when I has no more than twenty dollars left? I shake my head and pull my money from my jean pocket and show it to him, hoping he would understand.

The old man, also known as Mr Hans grab my money from my palm, he counts it and give a sound of disgust. He narrows his eyes to me and hiss “This is not enough! You have to pay or you have to go. You know my policy sweetheart, pay up or pack up”

I will myself to speak, to explain that I have no money, I open my mouth but ended up closing it again.

Mr Hans smirk, his dark eyes shine like he just thought of a brilliant idea, and I don’t like it. He took another hit of his tobacco before asking “This is all you’ve got?”

His voice conniving as he waves the twenty dollar bill in my face. “Sorry, sweetheart but you have to leave my apartment tomorrow if you can’t pay me.” I was about to protest when he came closer to me like snake ready for her prey.  

“You know, I can think of other way that you can pay me” His breath smells of alcohol, nicotine and something else altogether that made me shudder in disgust as memories makes its way to my mind.

I took a step back, my fear reflected in my eyes and the old man notice it but giving me mocking smile “I know you are a pretty little thing, you’re hiding something good underneath, come on now sweetheart, just a little taste. If you let me, you can stay here two, three months’ tops” he’s so close that I start to tremble in fear

Where will I go now? I have no money left and no one to call for help. But maybe Jimson can help me and let me stay in his place, just until she finds some work. I vanish the idea when a voice echoed in my head ‘You’re nothing but a burden’.

Maybe I can do… I gasp in horror and push the pervert old man away, I dash towards my room and lock the door, afraid that he might come in barreling.

“Leave tomorrow or pay!” the old man shout from the other side of the door. “Stupid bitch” I hear him curse under his breath

I crumple to the ground, easing up my breathing, willing my eyes not to shed any tears. I slowly stand up and immediately gather my things. I pack my clothes not bothering to pause, I can’t stand being in this place any second longer. My lips starts to tremble and I bite it so hard, blood starts to prickle from it.

I flung my door open and run out the building like crazy, afraid that someone is after me. I run until my surroundings starts to blur and my thighs ache and burn. I stop when finally I’m out of breath and my body crumples to the ground. I look around and found myself near a gasoline station. People are crossing the streets, cars are passing, and the world around me seems to move so fast that I can’t help the shrill that escaped my lips. I am so disgusted of myself for even entertaining the idea that was proposed to me by the likes of him.

Did I really thought I can survive on my own? Did I really made a good decision of running away? Or I just made the biggest mistake of my life?

No! I shake my head. Anywhere is better than there. I can make it, I know I can. I chant in my head, willing myself to believe and I feel slightly better, that my body slowly rose from the ground despite of my trembling legs. I walk slowly away from the people, whom I’m blissfully oblivious with their prying eyes. They look at me with a mixture of disgust, pity and curiosity. I duck my head and let my hair fall like a curtain. I have no time to become their entertainment. I have to think of something, like where do I go from here. I still have enough strength to go to the pet shop and find Jimson. Yes, Jimson can help me for a while. Maybe I can sleep in his couch while I find a way to survive. Surely, he won’t mind? With a new profound determination I set onto my course but, the sky suddenly dims, covering the light from the sun and the clouds gives off a rumble, and all at once big raindrops fall from the sky.

People around me, run in different direction, afraid they’ll get. Yet, here I am standing still, my feet planted to ground, not moving an inch. A little smile appear from my lips, even the heavens are giving me hell. Deflating all of the optimism I had gathered not minutes ago. But, the relief I felt is overwhelming because now I can let my eyes shed. Because, she’s I’m not crying. It’s not called crying, it’s just raindrops falling down my cheeks, nothing more nothing less.