Hats for Hammerheads is a poem about resilience and determination – about defying bullying and persecution. It focuses on the tale of young Henry Finn “perfectly normal except for one thing – He had the head of a hammerhead shark”. Henry, supported by his loving parents, works his way through school and college very successfully, despite being mocked by his peers. Unfortunately upon attempting to enter the world of employment he finds that his path is blocked as, repeatedly, the hat – both metaphorically and in reality – does not fit his head. The despondent Henry makes his way to see his Aunt Ophelia who encourages Henry to fight harder against stereotyping and persecution – “Make them all see that the hat fits your head just perfectly.” A turning point for Henry is his journey home from his Aunt, her advice ringing in his ears, as he notices a proliferation of characters with unusually shaped heads. It strikes him that he could support not only himself - but all cranially challenged people - by designing hats that would fit them all. Henry’s millinery enterprise proves to be a massive success and leads to job offers and celebrity – however Henry rejects these offers and dedicates his life to his hat-making empire .... in which “his favourite bit – is making those hats that they said wouldn’t fit.”

Murray Sackwild

Here is the story of young Henry Finn

Perfectly normal except for one thing ...

He had the head of a hammerhead shark.

His parents both loved him and brought him up well

They sent him to school and they taught him to spell.

He had lots of good friends and worked hard at school

He tried to ignore all the kids who were cruel.

But one night whilst playing with some mates out of doors

He heard some boys humming the theme tune to "Jaws"

Henry broke down crying and ran home from the park.

"Mummy why must I have a head like a shark?"

His mother, she cuddled him, "Don't worry" she said,

"I think you're quite lucky to have such a nice head.

Others are rounder and not quite as wide

But what's more important is what you've got inside."

Years passed by and as Henry grew older

He learnt to live with the head on his shoulder.

By the age of sixteen he was top of his class

He took twenty exams and got all grade A pass.

After more years at college he got a degree

Now what sort of job would suit our Henry?

The choice wasn't easy — he didn't have a clue

After all there was so much that Henry could do.

At last he decided that nothing could be finer

Than going underground and being a coal miner.

He went to apply for a job down the pit

But the foreman said "Sorry the hat doesn't fit.

You can't have a job in the mines," the man said

"I'm afraid it's all down to the shape of your head."

Was Henry depressed? No he wasn't a bit

He couldn't be blamed if the hat didn't fit.

So down to the cafe was the next trip he took.

He'd become a great chef — well he knew how to cook.

To grill and to poach, to roast on the spit,

But the Head cook said "Sorry the hat doesn't fit."

"You can't have a job in my kitchens." He said,

"I'm afraid it's all down to the shape of your head."

Henry was shocked — Henry was upset

But he knew there were plenty of jobs he could get.

"Firefighting's exciting!" He thought with a smile

"If I go to the station they might give me a trial."

But instead of fighting fires that flicker and flit

They sent him straight out as the hat didn't fit.

"You can't fight fires," the fire chief said,

"I'm afraid it's all down to the shape of your head."

Henry tried so many jobs — Henry tried them all

But they all said "Sorry — the hat's too small."

But Henry was sporting — He'd give sport a go

Well ... he knew how to jump, to run and to throw.

He had a go at fencing and at being a jockey

They both turned him down so he tried at Ice Hockey.

He looked so splendid in his blue and white kit

But the coach said "Sorry — the hat doesn't fit.

You can't play hockey in my team," he said,

"I'm afraid it's all down to the shape of your head."

Henry was sad — it was all going wrong.

He decided to put everything down in a song.

He'd record it, release it and have a Number One hit

But the studio said "Sorry — those headphones won't fit."

"We'd like to make your record, we really would," they said,

"But it isn't really on — with the shape of your head."

Henry kept on trying but no matter how he tried

He couldn't get a job as his head was too wide.

He tried every job but they all turned him down

They said "It's all due to the size of your crown."

When you've done all you can — and they say that you can't

The best person to see is your favourite aunt.

So he went to his aunt's house — down by the paddock.

His Auntie Ophelia — with a head like a Haddock.

"Oh Auntie," he said, "I can't stand my shark head.

Nobody wants me — I'm better off dead."

"Don't be so silly!" Snapped his fish-headed aunt.

"Don't be put off when people say that you can't.

I know it's not right and I know it's a shame

But people don't like it when you're not quite the same."

"But you can't give in — you can't say 'I quit'

Simply because they tell you the hat hat doesn't fit.

Push yourself harder — make them all see

That the hat fits your head — just perfectly."

Henry was happy — He now understood.

He'd make them all see — He knew that he could.

"Cheerie-bye Auntie," he said with a grin,

"They haven't heard the last of young Henry Finn."

Then as Henry walked home he saw a small man

With a rather large head in the shape of a pan.

And as he walked round the corner who should he see

But a rather thin woman with the head of a bee.

Henry had an idea as he walked up the road

And passed by a girl with the head of a toad.

And as he got near — to the gate of his house

And saw a boy on a bike with the head of a mouse.

Heads come in sizes big, wide and small.

He would makes hats — that would fit them all.

That night he started to weave, sew and knit.

They'd never again say "That hat doesn't fit."

Hours became days and days became weeks

He made hats for the square-heads and people with beaks.

He made hats for the big-heads and hats for the small

He made hats for those people without heads at all.

He became quite famous for his hats of all sizes.

He won loads of awards and quite a few prizes.

The boy they'd turned down as a cook and a miner

Was quickly becoming a top hat designer.

He appeared on the news — He appeared on T.V.

Jeremies Paxman and Kyle both spoke to Henry.

He caused headlines in papers — They all made a fuss

And companies all wrote to him — They said "Work for Us!"

Firefighters and miners and big restaurant diners

All want to employ to head-wear designers.

"Dear Mr Finn — We'd all like to say

A job is here waiting — You name the pay."

And sports of all sorts all wrote in the post

"You are the person we all need the most."

But Henry kept working at what he did best.

He ignored all the letters — He wasn't impressed.

He became the most famous hat-maker from New York to Perth.

The best hat designer on the whole of the Earth.

But in his huge head-wear empire his favourite bit

Remained making those hats that they said wouldn't fit.

©2016 Sackyrhymes