Depression
Poem 1
The pressure of a blade to bare skin
With one swipe blood appears, look where we are now
The word in itself doesn’t tell a story.
But for every person who has it there’s a different feeling, a different meaning
There is a war between life and death
Between demons and angels
What you can see and what you can’t.
Some people never find the end of that blade
Some meet it too soon
There’s a never ending pattern of confusion,
Disappointment, sadness, worthlessness ,
What’s next?
The appsense of words that explain a feeling
The appsense of sound when everything begins to fade in seconds
Will you meet an angel or will that demoned you’ve been fighting finally get a hold of you.
Depression
A simple word
One that can ruin a sunny day in seconds
One that can in seconds make a smile a frown
But what’s the meaning?
Death?
Life?
A Family?
Happiness?
Pain?
What does it feel like?
Do you know?
But it can’t just end
No there is a war to be fought in your mind.
The angels you think you know become strangers or someone you never meet,
Then there’s silence…
Emptiness.
Your fighting this battle you never seem to win but the thoughts of how it ends
Wow those are scary
What’s the best way to make this stop?
The world around you is crashing into a million pieces but you have no control
No say in what is happening
Then there’s silence again
But it’s not silence it’s the force field of your skin being broken into cell by cell
Tissue by tissue
But somehow this takes you away from the battle in your head
What are you doing now?
The scars that will come are only the beginning
But will there be an end?
Then you start to think again the noise just gets louder and louder like a drummer playing his favorite song on a lop.
Here comes the tears
The emotional pain pours in like a cup being filled with water
There is no stopping what you are feeling inside when you have nothing left
You can’t be happy
You can’t do anything right
You're a failure
But when people say these things, They should never hurt
They are just words
But then there’s the word depression
But it’s still just a word
That brings bad memories from a dark past or a person who was hiding for years without telling their story.
Without being seen as more than a word
A word of great meaning without a meaning for everyone
Not everyone cares
Maybe no one cares
But we are still stuck with this word tied to our backs
Like its a part of us
A word
Is controlling our lives because we don’t know anything different
The scars that come from the physical pain you have to cause to escape the emotional pain are only a sign
But a sign of what?
Are you going crazy?
You might as well be because you tell someone the darkness inside you and your a monster
You're not yourself
Who is this person talking to me?
They don’t recognize you
You told someone the meaning of your word
Now they are leaving
You trusted someone only to become what society make it
You constantly have to hide from your true self
To make everyone but yourself happy.
The word that scares people
The word that can make a grown man fall to his knees and pray for his life.
It’s going down the wrong path because no one would listen to the small signs he was giving to everyone around him
But where did this get him?
A box
He got a box Six feet under the cold ground
Snow, rain, sun, or clouds
He sees them all from a grave this world put him in
Because it’s just too hard to face something you know nothing about
So they pushed it to the side and didn’t notice what he was doing behind closed doors
Saying a prey maybe, Or writing a letter to his family telling them he is sorry for all his mistakes and everything he couldn’t do to make them happy.
But do you think he is scare?
I don’t think so
Because depression can grab you and never let go of you
And you just lose yourself to it
But to some people it’s just a word
A meaningless word