By Natalia Wikana

“Get some money, food, clothes, everything. Get out of here, you understand?”

The words muffled as he said them. It was hard to focus and uncomfortable with his hands gripping my ears as if they were bike handles.

“I need you do this for me.”

Oh, I couldn’t. I couldn’t. But his dark eyes threatened that I trembled, forcing upcoming tears back from erupting.

All I could do was nod.

Screams were the only thing that was living in this world. It was everywhere. Echoing through underneath and above, side to side. The screams whispered into Alice’s ears. It bled into her soul–

It was enough for her to open her eyes. Sunlight burned her eyes. So bright!

Her arm scraped against something sharp and metallic. She gasped. The air was so compressed that her breathing came out as chokes of dust and her eyes blurred. A chorus of screams that should have belonged to hell vibrated underneath her. She slowly craned her head to see a man lying on his back, covered in blood, crying hysterically.

“It’s over, it’s over, it’s over.”

Alice looked around. Debris everywhere. Remnants of buildings and cars were all she could see. Burning. Crackling. The intensity stung her eyes.

A rush of feelings erupted inside her as tears pooled her vision. No. It happened. Where were my family? Where was he? The anxiety stimulated her to get up.

Argh. Agony stretched across her body like a whip, tearing every particle of flesh. She bit her lip to stifle a scream. The world began to shake. Uh. Her head was throbbing. A disfigured metallic pole was nearby, clinging to its last breath. Alice tried to grab a hold of it to gain balance and clarity but something glinted within her periphery. She squinted to see it among obstacles. Was that a…leg?

A pang blossomed in her chest. Panicked realisation fuelled her rubber legs, ignoring the pain coursing through her veins. Jordan. Jordan, is that you?

The sun grazed my skin, energising every cell. It was a beautiful sensation. Jordan was glorious. He was the only boy I knew who could make me feel as if I ruled the universe. No restraints holding me back.

“What are you thinking?” Jordan’s voice penetrated my ears.

I gazed up at the intensity of his blue eyes, grinning. “What makes you think I’m thinking at all?”

Jordan was the type to make jokes. One of the reasons why I loved him. His lips twitched to match mine. “You’re always thinking.” He paused as his eyebrows furrowed. “You…you still love me, don’t you?”

My smile automatically vanished. Oh, I didn’t want to talk about that. Images of the blueprints, the faces compelling me to agree with–

“Of course, I do, Jordan.” I abruptly expressed to stop the memory from burdening my shoulders.

The look that met me in return was one of scepticism or suspicion.

Alice reached the corner where the leg remained lifeless. Horror choked her. What if…? No, she couldn’t think like that. She stilled when the scene materialised. No, this is not real. This only exists in movies. I can’t. New tears began to form. Cheeks and lips trembling. The ground shook underneath Alice’s feet and transformed into a vortex…

Alice adjusted her eyes to meet a cloud of shadows from afar. The shadows swirled as it grew closer and accumulated into a tall figure. It was a man. There was something familiar about this figure.

Alice felt the ground collapsing underneath her, vibrating every nerve in her body.

Alice ran. The heated wind brushed against her like sea waves, trying to bar her from her love. Jordan was so close now. His hair more golden, his chapped (chapped?) lips twisted. He looked exactly what Alice remembered the last time she saw him. He was ali–

Alice was shot back in the chest, hitting the rubble ground, scraping some skin. She could taste salt and dust.

A shadow bathed her, creating a cold feel against her skin. Alice stared into eyes the colour of twilight sky. “Jordan, why did you–?” She choked out.

A long flash of silver dug into her throat. It was icily cold that it brought her senses on high alert. Her heart pumping violently. I don’t understand. What’s happening? What are you doing?

“Who are you?” A husky voice echoed.

Who are you? The question confused Alice that she trembled when her first words came out, “J-Jordan, it’s me. It’s me.”

The skin that bridged his eyebrows wrinkled. “I’ve never met you in my life. Now, get up!” He barked.

Alice stared. Jordan never spoke to her like that. Ever.

“Jordan,” Alice grabbed the edge of his black shirt, trying to trigger some memory into him, “it’s Alice. Alice.”

But she was only met by his grip on her shoulders, yanking her off the ground like a puppet. Alice’s insides recoiled and vanished.

“What are you doing?” She gasped.

He jerked and turned her forward with a dagger aiming for her back. “Move.” He ordered.

“What? I don’t understand, Jordan–”

“Just move.” The Jordan I knew would never have spoken like that. Or would he? A voice spoke to Alice. He is the reason why everything is destroyed now. Your family. Your friends. Your home.

No….

You are weak.

Alice’s chest constricted at that. No, Jordan would never hurt me. The blade thrust against her, bringing her back to the outside world. She froze when she saw a young man moving over a body like he was eating it. Oh god!

The man noticed their presence and grinned drunkenly.

A sharp jolt bit Alice’s arm. She screamed as something fluid entered her system. Drowsiness and shouts came over her. She struggled against a pile of limbs and blackness covered her eyes.

***

“Where are we going?” I couldn’t help but whisper as we entered a dark hallway, underground.

My fingers instinctly clutched and caressed the necklace that Jordan gave for my last birthday. This place was compressive. I could smell the unclean water on me and hear soft echoes of paddling feet skittering. The state needs to do something about the sewers.

“We’re having a special meeting.” Jordan said with a smile. How could he be so cheery? It seemed that we were heading towards a dead end or descending into the unknown. And I knew who we were. I shivered. Why can’t he leave them? They were poison to him.

Voices echoed from the end of the hallway. My heart made its way to my ears. I didn’t want to see or talk to them. Fear splashed me. “Jordan”, I panicked, “I don’t think I want to–”

The door opened and a deep voice boomed, “You kids are coming in or are you going to stand there in lovers’ quarters?”

I tightened my grasp around the necklace as if it was a guardian angel.

The touch of something hot woke Alice up. And then her world crumbled into ash. The cogs inside her went still. Everything disconnected.

Jordan?

Alice looked at the guy splayed beside her. A weight burdened on her skull, trying to crush it.

“Alice, you look beautiful.” A hoarse sound came out of his mouth as his eyes opened.

And she immediately knew that he was her Jordan. It was as if time slowed, suspense hung in mid-air. His lean muscular frame had its usual rebellious stance and his arrogance radiated around him like a bubble. They were features that pulled Alice to him in the first place.

She was so deep in her memories that she didn’t realise a hand seizing her arm until her body was supported by air and then by long limbs which snaked around her waist. The contact raised alertness inside her, the cogs started to accelerate, her heart deafeningly echoing through her body. It was the only thing you could hear in the hollowness of Alice.

Was this real? Alice turned to gaze on a man, lying afar, his back facing the air, his head turned to the side.

No, how could I mistaken this guy for Jordan? His hair was dark and he was a bit bulkier than Jordan. He looked more masculine and older. There was a softness in him too. No arrogance or smirk on him.

But it was Jordan.

Alice’s vision was forced to see the man imprisoning her now. Yeap, it is him, but so…different. He had a smirk on his face. It was a smirk that didn’t trigger happiness in her. Earlier, he hurt me and didn’t recognise me…

Alice looked down to see bandages on the spot he–

“My Alice. Miss me?” He says in a raspy voice.

We have to do this. We need to. The voice echoed in Alice’s memory bank.

“Jordan.” Alice managed to choke out, very aware that she was touching his hands and wrists. The contact prickled her skin.

I love him.

And look where we are now.

Alice’s inner conflict was interrupted by a hot touch. Jordan’s kiss reconciled her feelings and she couldn’t help but kiss him back. He grinned like a mischievous child.

“Glad, you’re here and alive.” He said. “For a moment, I thought I was seeing things–I told you to leave the city. But you didn’t. You are loyal, aren’t you?”

Is that why you shot me? And, and…what the hell happened after that?

“Jordan, please tell me my family is safe.” Alice pleaded, shaking her head to clear the webs of confusion away. “Please tell me that we’re done. The plan is completed and we can now move on and live the rest of our lives in peace.”

You’re asking for a happy ending? From this piece of shit?

“Please? I love you, Jordan.” Alice said over the lingering words of my subconscious.

Jordan’s mouth split, revealing all his teeth. “Come on.” His tongue massaged his lips seductively.

What? No “I love you”? Alice stared at him.

He pulled her away from the ruins and mutilated bodies.

***

The group encircled a table covered with oversized sheets of blueprints. I never left my necklace unclothed as fear stripped away the last pieces of my confidence. But I was grateful that Jordan kept his arms caged around me. Like I was his source of stability.

“Jordan, Alice. Kind of you to join us.” The Master declared with a forced smile. “Alice, your presence here tonight means you’ve accepted your place for our project?” His dark eyes leered at me.

I’m only here because of Jordan. What you’re doing is horrible. I hate you.

All faces were on me. The Master’s. Jordan’s. He looked at me genuinely but I could see a faint glow of fear in his eyes saying: “say yes or you’ll be dead. And I will be punished for wasting their time, bringing you in.”

The weight of pressure cut off my senses.

I whispered, “Yes.”

Alice and Jordan passed through streets lined with hills of air dust and smoke. There was a small group of people looting demolished structures. Imprisoned in a frenzy state that they seemed not to notice the couple, except for a few who hissed as if they were intruding their hunt.

Alice tightened her hold on Jordan’s arm, cradling her face into his chest. She didn’t want to see anything anymore. Everything was a reminder of what they had done.

This is my fault. I should’ve left them. I should’ve left him. Alice’s mind began to run a show reel of her family album. Mum with her short hair, making tea and cookies while dealing with a customer on the phone. Dad with his glasses dropping to the tip of his nose as he slept in the living room. Alice’s brother Xavier fixing her laptop and her sister Tanya listening to her bedtime stories. The thought of them ached her. She hadn’t seen them since yesterday?

“Jordan, can we visit my family? I don’t want to see the Master.” She choked up.

He looked startled for a moment. I guess he didn’t expect me to be not submissive or persistent. “You’ll see your family soon.” He dismisses, not making eye contact. “The Master only needs a few minutes with us to plan our next move.”

“I want to see my family. I want to make sure they’re safe.”

“They are. Please, a little trust would be good. We need to hurry.” He eyed the pack of looters scavenging through the mess.

He pulled Alice as a man, with a bloodstained arm, approached them with a sickening glee on his ashen face. Alice’s pace quickened, matching Jordan’s stride. They left the world as it was now. Annihilated and full of despair.

Alice hand seized the necklace that wounded her neck. She needed something to lean on. How could I be so stupid to go along with their plans?

They turned a corner and a large tent stood a few inches away. Suddenly, everything grew dark. The sky. The ground turned soil. The incomplete structures enclosing the tent were clouded with shadows. Someone came out, pulling back the entrance like a curtain. It was a tall woman Alice recognised. Katrina. The Master’s right-hand woman and…Jordan’s mother. She was a ghost in a blue satin dress, enticing people to enter hades with her beauty. Her eyes turned into slits and then she smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes.

“Alice, you’re all in one piece. I’m glad.” She sneered close to her ear as she embraced her. “Jordan.” She took his free arm, but he let go of Alice. He would do anything for his mother. Alice hesitated at the threshold.

Now here’s your chance to escape. But she can’t leave Jordan with these people. Leave him. Our family is more important than this douche. Jordan and Katrina were further ahead and were in a conversation that made her laugh.

No. I know that he’s still a good person. He’s just a teenager being forced to do things he doesn’t want to do.

“Jordan.” She called out.

Footsteps scratched against the ground. “What?” Jordan emerged from the shadows. There was a look on his face now that screamed wariness. “What is it?”

“P-please come with me.” Alice whispered so that no one would hear. Her chest ached as the fear of Jordan rejecting her bloomed. “L-leave with m-me.”

His eyes narrowed. His face was a mixture of doubt, hesitation, and fear? Oh, please say yes. His lips set themselves into a straight line.

Alice knew that look. She saw it when she helped him plant wires underneath the ground and when he handed her the button to detonate, she hesitated and refused. His face clouded with so much hate but he didn’t let it out. Unexpectedly, he ordered her to leave the tunnel, “Get some money, food, clothes, everything. Get out of here, you understand?....I need you do this for me.”

“Go.” Jordan’s voice trembled a bit now.

Alice stared up at him. “What?”

His face was serious with a shade of concern and a shade of fear. He looked vulnerable and a man who would do anything for his beloved at the same time. “Just go. Your family is at the safe house over there.” He pointed to a sandy mountain from afar, the only thing that seemed to be still in one piece. The hills. Alice knew why. People called it the ‘Sanctuary’ because nothing ever happened there. It was like another universe that was untouched by civilisation. No one knew why.

Jordan placed both hands on Alice’s arms, sending her into shock. It was the first genuine and gentle movement he had made. It reminded her of their first days as a couple. He was carefree, devoid of any mark laid by that group.

“I’m not leaving you here.” Alice breathed.

Jordan traced his fingers along her jaw. She pressed her lips against his. She thought she was going to meet a wall of surprise and resistance, but she didn’t. He welcomed the kiss and curled his arms around her. His tongue massaged hers. It was exhilarating that she pressed herself against him. She felt him resist.

“Go.” His breathing was a little laboured. “Now. I’ll meet you at the safe house.”

“Jordan. Alice.” Katrina’s voice echoed ominously from the shadows.

No.

“Alice, don’t worry about me.” Jordan leaned in to whisper. “I’ll meet you there.” He was so calm.

“Okay.”

He caressed her lips and turned away.

Alice felt naked. She wanted to run to him but forced her feet to move onwards. She ran through the ruins, not absorbing what was happening on the sidelines. She had to get to her family. She needed to know that they were safe and sound.

Alice reached the foundation of the mountain of hills covered in dry, yellow wheat. The safe house her dad built years ago was just behind it. She noticed that everything was quiet. A couple days ago, it wouldn’t have been so with traffic sounds and human hums. Now the only sound was the wind.

Alice couldn’t hear the screams. It was like there was an invisible barrier that shielded this hill, its perimeter, and beyond it from the city. Perhaps it would shield her?

She couldn’t help but look back at the ruins of the city. Most of the buildings were stained in black. A grayish-black fog covered everything. No sign of recovery…yet.

The group. The Master. They had something more dark in store and were planning how to deliver it right now. In that tiny dark spot of a tent.

Jordan. Oh, please let him be alive. A sudden feeling of anxiety blossomed inside Alice. What if he got caught? By Katrina? Or the Master? What if they found out that Jordan was trying to escape or allowed her to escape?

I’ll meet you there.

So she waited, thinking of ways to stop them.