Do you ever wonder , what would happen if you were gone ? 

If you were never born ..

Do you ever just wonder ? 

I do , I been thinking for months how would it be if I was just gone for a while and people didn't care .

I would love just to die 

Nobody cared about me just when I'm hurt , right that's funny ? 

But I'm not going to laugh and cry and shut down or say whatever and keep going , I hate how my life has just been a living hell

Eveytime in the hallway I see you walking with your friends laughing the way I look or the way I do the things I do how funny was that to you ? 

Can I just never be happy ? 

I'm giving high school a chance for a life time I know I am going to see the girls that hurted me but it's ok I just wanna move away from this world and see everyone not caring 

I know if your reading these you would want me to get help 

Because I'm " suicidal " but I don't want help because if I get help then I'm " pussy " last time I got help it led me from walking in the hallways alone 

It's real nice having friends who will have your back from day one  

All the " friends " I had were the ones who would  make fun of me the way I look . 

Today after school I picked my phone and looked at the time my dad wasn't home either my mom I graved a belt and tied it to my neck as hard as I could and I couldn't breath for minutes I though maybe this was the end , but then you hear a knock o the door  and I just stopped and took the belt off and just opened the door and ignored .

Hearing my mom telling me "hurry up child " while I watch my brother throw the trash and I go lock myself up and just think these thoughts I think everyday , how could people like us hurt someone like me ? 

We all ask but we never have a answer , we just discover the world .

 It doesn't matter , none of this does but does it to you ?

We all ask questions and we all want answers but we can never find them easily or do we ? 

Today we gather our questions and know we answer them , will it be easy or hard to find them lets find out !

How could a person like me write a book like this , you may ask ? 

I write this book to get my thoughts and feelings out , I always loved writing and letting it out but if I ever speak then I'm always wrong but if I'm not speaking everyone thinks that's everything is fine nothing will happen unless someone is hurt that's when they want you , isn't it sad how society is ? 

How if I post something happy no one likes but if I'm sad they love it  , so glad to see everyone happy in the hallways looking around with their friends while they left one out , the one who is always helping , the one who is always there for them , who will they have when I'm gone ? 

Will they do the same like me ? We may never know , my plans are giving life 20 chances everyday I will write how I feel if I keep being depressed what is better kelp being sad or just dissapear 

Everyone will be happy when I'm gone .