“An eloquently brutal look at all the messy bits about being a woman. Gaffney grabs you from the first line and shakes you up, rattling all sorts of lost things from you - tears, laughter, gasps of recognition and solace. Brilliant.”

—Nikki McWatters, Author

“The Gap Year(s) is a book that makes you realise you have to live with guts and gumption. A story for anyone who feels that something might be missing and wants to go and find it.”

—Rose Herceg, Chief Strategy Officer WPPAUNZ

“A thoroughly entertaining alternative to the often-trite self-help ‘this is what you should do to be like me – 10 tips toNirvana’ genre that has overtaken our bookstores. Nathy Gaffney’s ‘Gap Year(s)’ manages to be funny, raw, heartfelt and brutally honest all at the same time. I will be prescribing this book to both my clients and friends as the perfect high strength dose of humanity we all need more of in our lives.”

—Martine Beaumont, Therapist, Coach, Counsellor

“One is left wondering how Gaffney has packed so much into one life, while at the same time getting the feeling that in her 50’s, she really is only just getting started.”

—Anthony  Klan, Journalist

“I was hooked from the first page. ‘The Gap Year(s) will resonate with every woman who has ever loved unconditionally, endured divorce, raised a child, made bad decisions, and been through all the other shit in between. Honest, gritty and funny! You will hold your breath, shed a tear, and sigh with relief as you fall in love with Nathy’s story. An ad- dictive read!”

—Marcia Abboud, Author “Every Shitty Thing”

“A year of experiential learning, typically taken after high school and prior to career or post-secondary education, in order to deepen one’s practical, professional and personal awareness.”

(www.gapyearassociation.org)

There are two things you need to know before you dive into this book. I’m a hugger, and life is messy. You might already know the second thing from your own experience, and if so, that’s great – then charting your way through the messy (and sometimes chaotic) machinations of my story may feel strangely familiar.

If this were a simple story, it would unfold simply, perhaps even gracefully, step by step. But life, as I havediscovered over my 50-plus years (although perhaps I knew it right from the start), is anything but simple. It is at times painful, ridiculous, and often convoluted. I’m hoping this book does not prove to be too much of the above foryou – my reader – to read and enjoy.

My story meanders from present to past, then lingers a while and comes back again – perhaps this is a nod to the vagabond spirit I inherited from my family… it certainly makes sense for my story, as it’s how I make sense of theworld.

That brings me to my other point – the bit about me being a hugger. Another thing I inherited from my family. We were all (and continue to be) big, mad, affectionate huggers. My friends know it and expect it of me. Even my colleagues and co-workers get hugs (as, occasionally, do people I’ve only known for 5 min- utes), though it’s always consensual.

I needed lots of hugs when I was writing this book, and I suspect that if you’ve shared any of my experiences, you might need one, too. So, consider this a big word-fuelled hug. If we ever meet in person, I’ll give you a real one – unless of course you’re not a hugger, in which case you just let me know and I’ll happily settle for a handshake.

So, why has a 55-year-old woman who needs hugs decided to strip herself bare, and share the details which mostpeople might consider so private that ‘taking them to the grave’ would be a more appropriate course of action? A fewreasons, and they have to do with you, dear reader:

• If you’re wondering whether or not to leave a marriage that, despite all efforts, has run its course, I hope that by shar- ing my experience, you will feel not so alone – as a chroni- cally unhappy, dysfunctional relationship is a very lonely place to be. Perhaps you’ve already ripped the Band-aid off and ended your marriage (or long-term relationship), and now you’re at the ‘What the fuck do I do now?!’ stage. If so, maybe you will gain some reassurance by seeing that from nothing, with self-awareness, desire, and determina- tion, you can build yourself a bigger, brighter life for both yourself and your children.
• If you have ever wondered ‘Where am I going to find some- one who will love me for me?’, or ‘Where are all the good men/women?’, then maybe by me providing a glimpse into the inner workings of my unexpected union, you’ll find some inspiration to open yourself to the possibilities of finding love outside the square.
• Finally, if you’ve ever suffered from body image issues or an eating disorder, then pull up a chair. If you’ve ever felt in some measure not pretty enough, smart enough, slim enough, sexy enough, rich enough, or good enough. If you’ve ever wondered as to the origins of any of the crazy self-limiting beliefs and stories you carry around locked inside of you and allow to hold you back – then I hope you will find in this book some comfort in that you are not alone, and that despite the belief that these things might define you forever, it ain’t necessarily so.