I was nothing. They've already said that. I was just a piece of emptiness in human form. I was not an adult. Nor a child. I was not happy. Nor sad. I have what they call life, but I don’t have any idea how to look at things like others do. I can’t see how they say I am blessed for I am alive, ‘cause all that pours onto me were faults, bad luck.. not blessings. I never schooled. Schools never let me in. Society looks down on me. I tried to look up on someone up there… someone they call God. But all I can see there are clouds in their flight. No birds. Just that blue hue in the sky with the clouds that makes the fault.

Some people said I was born to die. Some people told me that I was just living as good as being dead. But I don’t care at all.  Whether I was really born to die so soon or I was dying from the very day when I was born, I just live the same thing around. I just live the same way. I just live the same boring life of mine.

I wake up every morning to the street light of the rattling Sun. I spend the first six hours of my day, sitting on the side walk, with tin can by my side. He is my companion, my long-time best friend, my real family, the only person who is true to me. And although he only speak whenever an angel in human disguise drops a cent or two, I can feel his sincerity in being a friend to me. I can feel his compassion I’ve long missed from whoever they termed as my real families. I don’t need them. I might not.

At night, I froze to death along the empty drums near the riverbank. And it’s much of hell when the sky falls into a form of rains, for it doubles my emptiness here inside of me. Undeniably, I might need my real family, my real home. But with the accompaniment of my best tin can ever, I might not.

Then came this one cold morning. A middle-aged man approached me in the sidewalk and invited me for a breakfast. My eyes widen. Hell of my life that it took my mind some seconds to sink in to the fact that I’ll be again eating a breakfast meal..after a long time. I usually take my day into some drawings to escape to this cruel and one-sided world. But I guess now, at this time, I have all the sides of this place.

“I want you to meet  your new mother”. The middle-aged man introduced me  to an old lady dressed in nice clothes. “From now on, you’re no longer live in the streets, She'll be taking you home.”

We went to ride in her car. Since that day, I’ve changed a lot.

And years later, I killed Mother.