Living Darkness Turning Light

 

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Chapter One

 A little girl so quiet and scared, never smiling as her soul was crushed right in front of her eyes, standing alone in her mind surrounded by the empty darkness, her arms have ladders of scars   And bruises. A little blonde haired girl who never felt like she fitted in with the crowed started off a happy bright little girl until her family grew apart by the age of two.  A little yellow rain coat with a bumble bee on she was wearing on her way to school she sat all alone on the little tiny chairs looking waiting for someone to ask her to play, but no one asked, she didn't go out on breaks she stayed in and studied because she knew she didn't fit. School would finish and she would go home to be with her mummy and daddy. But little did she know daddy was leaving he had found someone else. She listened to the arguments the sound of pain screaming from her mum  she sat up the top of stairs cuddling her dog crying saying ''please stay with me don't let go I'm scared''  her daddy left and her and her mummy was all alone heartbroken . They continued there lives going to school and trying to go on but phone calls started and arguments carried on. The little girl and her mummy went to bed one night and the little girl woke up in her neighbours house to find out her mum was in hospital having a heart attack. She was on the bed crying for her mum because she loved her so much and was cared for her she just wanted her mummy to be ok. Struggling with a drip in her arm her mum discharged herself to take her ti school our lives went on. The abuse from daddy towards mummy went on and on we then got told we had to move. 


The question was ''where''? 


Cyprus was our option as our family lived.  waiting for a container we was in a big empty 3 story house no furniture just enough to cook and sleep. The container arrived stuff was missing and broken but most stuff survived. She was growing fast her blonde hair was longer than before she was getting smarter and older. Her best friend was her mum the only person who stood by her. They used to go swimming at silly o:clock and smile and laugh, they even took a four hour drive to the other end of the island just to get away from there problems and to be together. 


A year passed living abroad and hardly any contact from daddy except a odd call she was giving up hope but still missing him. They moved house into a different part of Cyprus and mummy met someone a nice guy well seemed nice . He spent his days having house parties which made us then happy drinking laughing dancing the little girl was having the time of her life. She had even met a little girl who became her best friend. They played everyday games outside even tried to make their own perfume which smelt really bad may I add , jumping on the bed to drawing to riding a bike. 


Mummy decided she wanted to marry her partner they was madly in love and She was over the moon as mummies partner made me laugh. They moved again to a different location and within a year they was married they  was all so happy. And then he started drinking and getting violent it started off with him throwing objects.

Then it went to him beating her  mum and destroying a little girls dreams and reality in a glance 

She knew she had to grow up quickly to be there for her mum. Her mum tried so hard to protect her but they couldn't leave they was terrified of what he would do. 

Blood would drip.  time felt like it was standing still the nights turned to day the little girls imagination faded and the happiness inside her mum died. 


A night off for her mum she decided she needed a break she said she's going out she got dressed up done her hair and she looked beautiful as she left for the car. Her angry other half threw a plant pot at her it hit her on head and her hair was ruined everything was ruined but she refused to stay. 




A few nights later the moonlight was bright but yet it was foggy 

The little girl peaceful in bed heard screaming coming from downstairs a cry for help floated through the air the little girl wearing a blue nightie picked up her cream teddy bear holding it by the arm she walked into her mums room to find nobody she turned to the stairs to walk down them but felt sick to her stomach with fright she walked down the stairs holding the bear tight .

Blood dripping from the walls all over the floor she saw him in the moonlight stamping on her mums head holding onto the stairs railing she screamed ''stop mummy please I love '' he then  turned saw her and stopped he walked past her and went to bed 

The little girl was only 9 she dragged her mum to the car her mum could just about walk she couldn't see anything covered in blood the little girl sat on her mummies lap turned the car on and took her to the hospital with her mum using the pedals and the little girl saying stop go she steered the car to the hospital. 


The sun was rising her mum was in a hospital bed the girl was crying the mum said ''thank you'' her mum had 70% bruising on her skull the little girl saved her mums life from that day on they was together everyday most days 



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Chapter two

 A few weeks passed the mum and daughter went out for bonding time which the step dad agreed with 

half way through the night the phone rang..... it was him he had been drinking again! They answered the phone and his words said ''run little girlies your dead'' he hung up.

The mum knew they had to leave but the little girl begged her mum she said ''mummy please don't make us go home I'm scared'' the mum said ''we have to he will kill us if we don't'' the little girl started to cry the mum then agreed and they slept as her mums friends house. They had to leave early as her mum had work, the step dad had sobered up and was all happy or so we thought the mum left for work knowing that he would never hurt the little girl he loved the little girl like his own. Watching tv the stepdad says to the little girl ''where was you last night'' the little girl replies with ''at mums friends'' he screams ''liar''


He chases the little girl up the stairs slams her into the wall and screams at her again '' where was u last night '' she replies with the same answer as before  he pushes her she falls onto her toy bucket it snaps and cuts her she cries on the floor and says ''stop please I want my mummy ''


He disappears into the shower she sits on the floor crying contemplating on wether to make a run for it and go and find her mum or stay there. Before she could decide he comes out the bathroom walks upto her and says ''by the end of today you will be an orphan you mum is dead'' she scream  ''please no'' 

he runs to his car and drives off. 


Standing there feeling hopeless so young she doesn't know what to do she runs out the door looks up the road and turns around runs to the neighbours and says ''help please I need a phone''


She rings her mum and says ''mummy he's coming for you I'm sorry I love you'' as the mum goes to reply she sees him in the car behind at the junction he rams his car on hers and starts pushing her into the main road to get her killed. He runs out the car jumps on the bonnit starts punching the wind screen she reverses and drives home she grabs the little girl  and they drive to the grandparents and stay there the night terrified. The little girl lies there in the bed wishing hoping for everything to end , but it doesn't.....


The little girl was being badly bullied at school punched kicked and sworn at she didn't wanna take it anymore. 


One night  at home he chased them with a knife they locked the bedroom door holding it to stop him getting in they rung the police they came they ended up in a safe house the mum protected her little girl she faught so hard for the little girl. That little girl is so greatful to have a mum like her. 


They finally escaped and felt free like a bird had just learnt to fly and could spread its wings. 


I could go on and on about the pain the little girls mum went through but I'd rather not. 


The little girl turned 11 growing up faster than her mum wants. She met some girls who she thought was her friends they walked her into a dark park she turned around and they was gone standing alone in a dark park listening to the wind the leaves rustle and moon shinning she go's to run she turns around and 6 guys are standing there all ages 16-19  they drag her into a old abandoned house take her up stairs they block the only exit with a boy standing there she just cries they bed her over a table and sexually attack her she cried but no one can hear her his breath breathing down her kneck making her feel sick to the stomach he grabbed her hair and started to move his hand slowly down into her pants the pain was horrendous she screams in pain she sees her mum in the distance out the window shouting her name she can't scream they have a knife to her throats and they say 'shhhh' her friend standing watching she could of left and got help but instead she went home and said nothing 


They are finally done with her they leave she sitting in the cold feeling dirty used and in pain she cries she runs to the pub  her mum was in runs to the bathroom and cleans the blood off her legs  she changes her clothes and go's n sits with her mum . Her mum says '' where was u I've been looking for you are u ok?'' The little girl replies with '' sorry mum I'm fine I was with the girls '' 


They sexually attacked this girl regularly for two years till she was 13. Feeling broken hating herself she locks herself away she started cutting to release the pain her arms was the first then she slowly moved to her legs and hips.  She got 200 Facebook notifications one morning all different people calling her a slut and telling her she should be dead everyone hates her. It broke her 


She managed to hide her pain  her cousin moved over to Cyprus became her best friend was there everyday so many memories but he could see how she was fading away attempting suicide wanting to die but she didn't want to hurt her mum. 


He made her laugh and smile when she was down when she cried he cuddled her and told her she will be ok. 


She and her mum moved again....

Back To England with her mum and mums new partner she missed her cousin more than words could describe he was there for her when she needed a friend even if it was just to play on the Xbox 360. 


She started college and was so happy for a while her mum was happy she was happy everyone was happy . Except she started remembering and started writing stories she started falling into depression slowly she started cutting  again but badly.  She pushed her friends her mum away everybody but her mum refused she wanted to comfort her .





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Chapter three

 The scars got deeper as she got lonelier. College bahrooms she cut sitting on the floor crying she would leave the toilet like nothing happened !


Sitting in the classroom she burst into tears. They recently found out her mum had a terminal illness she wanted to die she couldn't cope without her mum her best friend. Never knowing when her mum would go to sleep like a ticking time bomb. She couldn't believe that after everything something would happen like this. 


After a while she met a boy she fell in love with at college he made her happy but something was still missing was it laughter or happiness? 


It was her soul still the little girl trapped inside her mind in the darkness wanting to escape. She text her parter ''please help me I can't cope'' home alone listening to sad music sitting on the floor screaming she started to cut blood dripping from her legs and arms she sat in a pile of blood wanting to die her partner rushed to her house and held her.  She kept getting worse and worse she even tried to overdose. A few months later at her college she started to feel sick she told her partner she's worried she isn't feeling well. He brought a pregnancy test. 


It was a positive she was 17 years old and pregnant but she couldn't of been happier she finally felt happy again and hole she told her mum she was shocked but supported her so much she was over the moon the whole family was.


 9  months a beautiful little girl was born  stunning and perfect the lonely little girl now a mum had pushed her depression aside and concentrated in what was important.


The darkness is still there the days may seem dark but the light surrounding the darkness was put there by my daughter. 


I am the little blonde haired girl who now has a little blonde haired baby girl. 


My story has ended but just begun 


Time is endless and life is about timing. 

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Chapter three

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