U N K N O W N
20 years ago,
His white bare feet touched the wet grass as he happily stomp around.
I watched the happy scene before my eyes and never thought that it would change. His golden brown hair catching the early rays of the sun and glinting magnificently under it. His pale cheeks flushed with blood as it suffused his face and his bright cyan eyes were bluer than any ocean on earth and felt like I can drown in them, like I can stare at them and live on them forever.
Jesse, the only thing I have left. The only good thing that my drunkard-foaming-in-the-mouth mother and my pyschotic-stoner of a father was able to contribute in the world--and for me he's enough. They have left us--just up and died, got themselves drunk up to the high heavens and never come back down. But man, hopefully St. Peter refused them entrance, I hope they were somewhere underneath my feet, drowning in vats of boiling alcohol, being whipped into oblivion. I wasn't sad--ecstatic in fact, it was like a heavy chain had finally fallen off my neck. I realized that I was actually relieved that I was finally rid of the demons without dirtying my own hands. I always thought that if somehow the crash didn't manage to snuff out their useless lives, I would have done deed--cut off their oxygen supply, give them a bubble heart--whatever it takes, regardless of the consequences. Jesse deserved much better, we could have been born in a different family, got properly educated, running around some carefully trimmed lawn, surrounded by white picket fences.
But today, the first time in my life that I can breathe the cold morning air without a care. Today, Jesse and I were the happiest siblings in the world--our recently dead parents already in the deep recesses of our brain, fading, vanishing as they should be.
But as if a surfacing nightmare, like a clogged sink that refused to go down--the first rays of my sunshine vanished like a chalk wipe off the board.
Bright streaks of red and orange ran across the dark sky—a mixture of gray and blue, an ominous explosion of fiery red and a swirling vortex in the middle as if someone up there was stirring the clouds angrily.
The mesh of dangerous looking clouds parted away in a blink of an eye and revealed a blinding flash of light. It was seconds before everyone realized something had exploded somewhere deep in space. The explosions reached us on the ground—the impact felt as if it was trying to flatten us into the ground. Houses, building, magnificently built structures and infrastructures that looked as if it can withstand any calamity—fell before the almighty explosion that descended from the raging sky.
Sand, dust, dirt—every bit of anything that the wind can carry billowed everywhere. For a moment, no one can see anything, its as if everyone gone blind, the wind howled eerily or maybe it was the screams of the dying that echoed tenfold through the devastated surroundings—or maybe because, a blistering kind of heat descended upon us, searing through the very pore in our skin and seeping, burning in.
It lasted for a few minutes, or it might have been an eternity like we were flayed alive inside a raging stove for what it felt like a thousand years. Bleeding, skin burnt and blistered, a kind of silence of swept over everyone like a thick blanket, the surroundings cleared and everyone had released their pent up anxiety.
I clutched Jesse protectively in my chest; I haven't prayed for a long time but I found myself calling out for the invisible man in the sky.
The sky rumbled forbiddingly.
And before the very eyes of the battered ones, with their skin shining with blood, glowing, bright-red objects descended from the dark folds of the cloud. As if in slow-motion it fell down, sparkling and shining like a ball of fire hurtling down from the sky. With gathering speed, it fell down the ground with a staggering impact, what seemed to be balls of fire were actually boulder-sized rocks, with some sort of pulsating, bright, red-orange membranes all over them.
It looked completely appalling—like something alive was breathing in and out inside it, causing the unnerving pulsation. Jesse whimpered like a puppy; I shielded his eyes away from the horror around us--god knows he has seen more than enough.
Without a warning the thick air was suddenly rented with a blood-curdling scream. It went on for a while and was occasionally punctuated with the sounds as if she was choking from something liquid. With a final gurgle, the scream stopped.
One by one, as if on cue, screams filled the air.
The pulsating rocks scattered all over the place had exploded, splattering what look like a sick color of pink, sticky liquid all over.
I threw myself all over Jesse. If there is someone suppose to die, better me than him. However, as if someone stabbed me from the gut, I bent over and retched painfully. Blood, the bits and pieces of steak I ate earlier, blood, half-digested carrots, blood—I threw them all up. Beneath the agonizing pain inside my stomach, I wondered dimly when will it stop. I wondered if Jesse was okay.
I fell down the debris and dust and writhe there. Something was like crawling inside my gut—running around my empty stomach, crawling through my lungs, foraging underneath my skin, digging underneath my cranial bone, it felt like some sort of aggressive ants marauding its way all over my body. I spasm, flail and roll on the dust covered ground--tendril like pain kept on lancing on my head and latching inside deeply that I wanted to rip my skull open. It felt like hours--years had gone by as I was immersed in the world of pain.
And as if on some sort of instinct—despite the blinding pain—my body surge upwards. I surveyed the scene without actually seeing it, there was a scent in the air that was highly redolent of exotic food I have never tasted in my entire life.
My little, golden-haird brother, the diamond in the middle of the rubble--he was standing there timidly, looking confused and scared. Still, he was staring at me, the sister who fulfilled the role of the mother that he never had, his eyes were scared but he was calling out to me to make things better for him like I always do.
My heart raced like cannons were firing inside in bursts. The scent was coming from him.
I staggered towards him; I felt something warm and sticky dripping from my mouth down to my chin, my breath was coming in shallow and fast. And next thing I knew I was kneeling in front him.
His beautiful eyes roved over my face. He was searching for an explanation for what was happening--some comforting words that her sister always offer in times when he was close to crying his heart out or when he thought that some hideous monster would crawl out underneath his bed in the middle of the night to claim him.
I was out of it—or so I managed to convinced myself afterwards when I shriveled from the horror of what I have done. I reached out with shaking hands and run a finger across his pale cheeks. How smooth it was--and in some conscious part of my mind I remember how I always caress his face to comfort him. But now I yearned of something different--something completely pervese and illogical.
I extended my hands—more steady this time and ran a finger, slowly down his slender neck. My throat ached longingly, and slowly, excitedly and hungrily, I raised my head and leaned on him like I was about to give him a goodnight kiss he always crave before he went into slumber.
It was soft and tender--his neck was, as I sank my teeth into them. His terrible scream rang right beside my ear. Scarlet bright blood gushed out from the gaping bite from his neck, staining his immaculate white shirt—he screamed and choked, the damaged skin flapping as the blood bubbled out while I chew through flesh and crunch through bones. It was nothing like what I have tasted before. I grabbed his neck, clenched it and pulled. I looked at my hands in a detached manner wondering what organ it was, and remembering it from a science book I always read in the nights that I have respite from my crazy father. I realized it to be part of the vocal chords, and without a second thought, crammed it in my mouth.
His scream ended like a piano that suddenly went out of tune. He gurgled and squeaked voicelessly until he went still.
His head lolled sideways with his eyes wide open and glassy. For a horrible moment before I was able to take a chunk out of his fleshy chest, I saw my self-mirrored into those lifeless cyan eyes that had gave me comfort and love all through those years of torment—blood dripping down my front and bits of flesh clung in my teeth.
It was like someone doused me with frigid, cold water, or as if a roaring fire had lighted a dim tunnel inside my head. I came to my senses and I was utterly appalled.
I staggered backwards, away from the ravaged corpse of the once lively brother I cherish. I clutched my stomach and clawed at my throat desperately, trying to throw up what I ate, but it stayed inside like my body was now contentedly digesting it--digesting the flesh of my very own brother. With blood-stained hands, I clutched and pulled my disheveled hair and a soundless, reeling mutiny was raging inside my head. Pure disgust and horrible realization lashed wildly inside my chest as I stared widely at the pale body of Jesse. I swivelled around aimlessly; a desire of wanting to run away and hide my disgusting self, overwhelmed me. I looked around, looking for someone--anyone who can pull me out of this nightmare, but everywhere I look, madness seem to have descended on everyone. The gut-wrenching screams, the wet gargling of the dying as he choke on his own blood, the sound of flesh being torn apart, the sound of bones snapping like dried twigs on a summer day. I clawed my fingers down my face and begged for it to stop. Begged for my ravaged brother to stand up and smile like he always do.
And then there was another scream—this time, it was mine.
A N D R E I
D E V O N
It happened a week ago.
I ripped off my headsets the moment the familiar high-pitched keening of the alarms over the city intruded upon the screaming NPCs of my favorite assassination campaign video game. I sat there silently listening intently above the piercing wailing and the deep male voice of the announcer, declaring a city lockdown within an hour.
"The lockdown will commence within an hour. Accomplish all endeavors and task within the period and return to your homes. Do not attempt to venture outside of your dwellings unless the governent lifts the lockdown. Have your security systems checked, monitored and properly placed. Do not open your doors for anyone who might seek entry past the allowed hour. Anyone attempting to gain entrance of a place not his own dwelling will be treated most severely. The Enforcers will be patrolling the streets around the clock and to avoid unnecessary altercations remain inside your houses and do not interfere. Any events that you might find suspicious, or out of ordinary, please immediately alert and call the Enforcers and do not attempt to handle the matter in your own capacity. Beware of your surroundings; Inhumans can imitate and resemble a normal human. DO NOT TRUST STRANGERS. For further information please refer to the website. Citizens of 12th colony, we thank you for your cooperation."
The announcement ended and repeated for the second time and a third, after then only the mournful alarm rang over the city. My phone rang loudly from the nightstand wrenching me away from images of blood running inside my head. I dove in the bed and swiped the phone and pressed answer.
“Hey man, I’ll be out in about an hour,” it was Jared, a guy I met through an online game and incidentally lives near my home, “You still up for it?
I gave an internal sigh, “Dude, you sure about this? Isn’t there going a lockdown in about an hour? The news said so—something big is happening out there,”
“Do you honestly believe that news crap they’re spouting? They talk about InHumans all the frigging time, but have you ever seen an InHuman? I bet it’s just all a conspiracy of some sort,”
I ran a hand across my hair in exasperation, we’ve been over this the nth time, “Those things in the TV are the real deal Jared, those—things do exist, not seeing them doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t exist,”
“C’mon man,” he drawled, “a week ago you were just saying that it could be some Hollywood hodgepodge, now this?”
I glanced at the window and saw the red warning lights from the posts, signaling an hour countdown, “Okay…let’s say they’re not real,”
“And it was really just a conspiracy—and the authorities were actually doing something different and what if we accidentally saw something that we are not meant to see and the Enforcers caught us? What do you think they’ll do to us?”
“They won’t do anything to us. We’re citizens—they won’t hurt us,”
This fucking, naïve piece of shit, “if those creatures aren’t real, there must some epic reason why they’re doing this for years. Its gotta be some dangerous stuff that the citizenry can’t be involved,”
“And that’s the point why we’re going out! They can’t keep this kind of things to us; we’re paying taxes and shit like that. They owe us transparency!”
Transparency my ass, “I still don’t think this is such a brilliant idea,”
“Whatever man, you coming or not?”
I scratched my head furiously in irritation. I don’t even know why I even showed interest in this harebrained plan. Geez, whatever—I don’t even know these guys for that long, whatever happens to them is a result of their plain stupidity, and I don’t need to be dragged into this.
“I’ll take a rain check, man,” I muttered, “Good luck,”
“You moron, you just wasted my time—“ I pressed the end call cutting him off mid sentence.
The erratic ringing from the alarm clock woke me up.
I crawled out of my bed and realized that I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I remembered the conversation last night with Jared and wondered how their adventure went. I just hope it was the last that I would hear of it.
I didn’t know how wrong I was.
My day passed in a blur. My mind completely forgotten about my dialogue with Jared—there wasn’t a single miss in the air, not a hint of impending doom, I didn’t heard even a single talk about those InHumans. My day had rather passed peacefully and without a single deviation from the normal.
I tossed my backpack at the sofa and went over the fridge. The phone played a recorded message of my mom telling me that they went over to grandma and won’t be back till next day. I trudge upstairs and rolled over the bed—exhausted and sleepy.
There was blood everywhere, and the air stunk of the scent of flesh…
I sat upright, panting heavily.
The images from my dream were starting to fade away, but I thought that I had never felt so terrified in a dream.
Something cluttered loudly downstairs.
I paused apprehensively, waiting for any more sounds. Another crashing sound.
I stood up immediately and grab the baseball bat from the basket at the corner of my room. I opened the door and went downstairs, the stairs and floorboard creaking loudly every time I took a step. I searched the whole floor while holding the bat aloft, ready to bash anything that moves. I entered the kitchen; light was spilling out of the fridge and all of its contents were scattered all over the floor, the milk carton was dripping noisily on the tiled floor. On the other side, the food cabinet has been ransacked too.
The hairs at my nape prickled unpleasantly and another crash sounded behind me.
I whipped around—about to swing the bat wildly.
“Andrei—stop! It’s me! Jared!” said a dark figure with his hands raised a few feet away from me.
“Wha—Jared? Is that really you?” I asked anxiously while still holding the bat in hitting position.
“Y—yes, I—I was just—look man, listen to me,” he pleaded. There was something awful smelling coming from him.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“I—I don’t know where to go! I can’t—I can’t go back to my house,”
“Andrei—some—something happened,” he started saying, his voice breaking pitifully. I inched close to the light switch, “remember yesterday? Kevin and Arn are gone,” he sobbed.
My heart skipped a beat, “what the hell are you talking about? What gone?”
“When we reached the place, there were—there were things—creatures—I don’t know! It happened so fast,” he garbled incomprehensibly.
“I--InHumans?” I asked slowly, getting closer at the switch.
“I—think so. I managed to run away, but I don’t know what happened to them, but—but something followed me, and then—then I can’t remember anymore. I woke up at the middle of the forest and I feel so sick—my head aches, my stomach is roiling—“
“Then why did you come here?” I yelled, “why not the hospital!”
“I c—can’t g—go out. I—I think…my stomach hurts so badly and I—I realized I was hungry. I tried to eat—but nothing stays—I just gorge them back up and I feel hungry as ever. Dude, I—I think—I—“
I swiped the light switch madly and what I saw, felt something like straight out of my nightmare.
Jared was covered in blood—his jacket was torn into several places and his shoulder seems to be missing a chunk. He has a deathly pallor and worst of all were his eyes—the white in his eyes had turned black and the iris was red. Countless images that I saw on television ran through my head—images of InHumans.
I wrapped my hand tightly around the hilt of the bat.
“Jared,” I began slowly, “I—I think you should leave. Now,” I stepped out of the kitchen cautiously, my mind gunning for the phone. I need to call the Enforcers no matter what.
Jared looked at his hands, which was covered in a mixture of dirt and crusting blood and then at me, “Dude—please, help me,” he begged.
“I’m going to call the Enforcers. They can help you,”
“N—no! Did—did you see what they do to InHumans? They’re going to kill me Andrei!”
“What the fuck am I suppose to do?” I thundered at him, “Its you’re fucking fault for doing something so brainless!” I waved the bat at him.
“Y—you should have come,” he suddenly whispered, inching at me, “you know taekwondo right? T—this wouldn’t have happened, you could’ve saved us—“
“The fuck you’re talking about? I couldn’t have done anything! It was your fault for being so frigging curious!”
“Y—you know,” he stopped, “I was so hungry, I saw an old woman on my way here. She scolded me and told me to go home immediately before the lockdown begins. She was so thin—b—but, I was so hungry Andrei. I can’t eat anything and—and she smell so nice for an old geezer,” Jared closed his eyes as if in bliss, “it was so warm—the way my teeth sank into her thin veneer skin—“
I couldn’t take it any longer. I rushed upstairs.
Jared caught up to me. He slammed into the wall and we struggled furiously. I lost hold of the bat so I ended up having to use my own strength, however his abnormal strength overwhelmed me—he plowed me down the floor and growled at my face, a horrible stench of something decaying wafted through me.
I pushed him backwards and he slammed into the nightstand. I crawled away, resisting the urge to vomit, I felt a hard tug at my collar and next thing I knew, I was soaring and ended up slamming into the bathroom glass door. The glass broke into million pieces as Jared appeared again.
I tried to move away but he was faster. He pinned me down the bathroom floor, the glass pieces digging into my back. I pushed him with all my might but suddenly, he roared. Half fascinated, half petrified, I watched helplessly as his maw opened and somewhere from within--serrated teeth emerged, it sounded like it broke out of his gums--and then he buried his head near my collarbone. He bit me—I screamed so hard, I thought my vocal chords would snap. The pain was so goddamn excruciating.
I managed to grab hold of a broken glass and abandoning all of my inhibitions—thinking of nothing but killing this monster on top of me—I plunged the pointed glass in his throat. He recoiled back and stared at me—I pushed the glass deeper until he choked, he gurgled blood and spewed it directly on my face. I pushed him with my feet and he rolled away, clutching at his throat desperately.
I staggered to the sink and spat the blood I accidentally swallowed when he vomited at my face—the taste was so indescribably horrible.
I glanced at the mirror and all of a sudden the bathroom tilted; I felt a falling sensation and then silence.
A N D R E I
D E V O N
My chest was throbbing immensely as if hot iron was placed over it.
The fluorescent light greeted me as my eyes fluttered open. I squirmed gingerly and felt some sharp, small objects digging into my back. I raised my right hand and touched cautiously the painful part in my chest. I accidentally bit my tongue as pain shoots up on my chest upon contact to my hand; I stared at my palms and saw sticky, dark blood on it.
“Fuck,” I muttered dazedly, as I pushed myself upwards—gritting through the bolt-like pain surging in my chest. Stars pop into my field of vision and the colors seem to be swirling; I steadied myself by leaning against the sink—waiting for the room to stop spinning.
My vision cleared and I saw Jared’s body at my feet—the piece of broken glass glinting deep in his throat. Something crawled up to my throat; I spun around and retched continuously into the sink, the half-digested, multicolored contents of my stomach splattering into the white sink tiles. Stilling myself, I turned around slowly and look down at Jared’s corpse.
He’s dead for sure, I thought as I toed his body apprehensively, eliciting no response. I stepped away from him and rushed back down the stairs, thinking nothing but calling the Enforcers. Midway from dialing the Enforcers’ hotline, something cold ran up to my spine. The silent throbbing in my chest reminded me of the magnitude of the problem.
I’m so goddamn stupid! I cursed internally as I slam down the phone. If I call the Enforcers they will surely respond and retrieve Jared’s corpse and then—and then…they will check me for contamination! The amount of blood splattered all over the bathroom will already make them suspicious of a contamination, they’ll find out I was bitten!
The desperate situation hit me like an ice wall. My empty stomach heaved painfully in response.
Calm down Andrei! I told myself. Maybe I could just dispose off Jared’s body and clear all evidence, there’s no telling that I am actually infected—I heard cases that a bite did not result into InHumanification. Yes—yes! I’m going to hide Jared’s body!
I ran madly up the stairs again; I glanced at the clock—still three more hours till dawn. I’ll bury him down the basement.
I forgot how I went through the whole scenario. It was like I was in a dreamlike feverish state wherein my body seems to be moving along a sticky sludge. I dry heaved a couple of times and unconsciously tear up while digging a hole—I felt so sick and desperate and the pain in the bite wound was making things even worse.
My mind was completely blank while I sat at the sofa, staring at the empty space. I opened and closed my fist and felt the dried up blood crack into papery thin pieces, even after all those puking, my mouth tasted like the metallic, bitter taste of blood.
I just buried my friend—who turned into an InHuman—in the basement, I recounted sluggishly in my head. I was bitten cleanly in the chest and it hurts like hell, I even accidentally swallowed some of his blood when he straight up retched in my face. Everything that happened in the past twelve hours seemed to be a waking nightmare.
I must have sat there for hours; the sun had fully risen and the first sliver of light hit my face through the gap in the curtains. It was at that moment that, the first jolt of hunger pangs intruded my chaotic thoughts.
I stood up and went to the pantry mechanically. I forgotten to clean up the pandemonium in the kitchen; most of the contents of the cabinet were all strewn and spilt into the floor. Seeing it made me remember the horrific image of Jared as I switched on the lights last night. I began putting back the stuff into their containers. I grabbed an instant noodles and boiled it for a few minutes.
I stared at the steaming surface of the noodles without actually seeing it. It must have been the shock from the events—or so I thought—but the moment the noodles touched my tongue, I felt like retching again.
The taste was completely horrendous. It felt like chewing through boiled rubber bands and the soup tasted like sewer water—not that I tasted sewer water before, but it’s what came into my mind.
I dumped the noodles straight into the sink with more force than necessary. I checked for the expiry date and saw that it was still edible for six more months. I felt so irritated and tired at this point that I just slid down the kitchen floor. I was so sore and hungry and some sort of irrational anger was trickling inside my head.
Why does that dumbass have to choose my house of all the houses in this place? I ranted. And he even had the temerity to blame me for not going along with his harebrained scheme. Serves him right, however he didn’t have to drag me along his misfortune. What a fucking, goddamn moron.
Hours later, I found myself heavily snoozing at my bed. I just finished cleaning up my wound and the pain had left me even more exhausted—the bite looked like it came from some sort of a rabid animal, the first layer of skin was completely sloughed off, and the surrounding skin was turning purplish black. I tried squeezing out the blood—which was the most painful and gut-wrenching thing I have to do next to burying a dead body—and what came out was a black, foul smelling substance that must have been blood. I was completely out of breath after and fell asleep immediately.
I heard a voice calling out my name from afar and someone was shaking me incessantly.
“Andrei? Sweetheart, I’m home.” It was my mom.
I sat up groggily; my head felt like a ton of brick was sitting on it and my chest was on fire.
“It’s time for dinner Drei—hey are you alright? You look pale and you’re sweating a lot,” she fussed over me, putting a hand in my forehead, “you’re very clammy, sweetheart. Is something wrong?”
I blinked a couple of times to rid off the bleariness, however her voice still sounded like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel, “I’m fine,” I managed to mutter.
The scent hit me like a battering ram; my mother moved closer to me, checking my temperature. It was a scent that I have never smelled before—it filled my thoughts with the images of steak and roasted pork.
“Hey what are you doing?” my mom chuckled. I froze and realize I was leaning to close to her, thoroughly enticed by the scent, however my mom treated it as some form of delirious affection, “If you aren’t feeling fine I can bring up your food,” she said as she stood up and leave.
The moment the door snap shut, I pull the covers over me and buried underneath it. There I trembled and shivered uncontrollably, my was head spinning in panic, my thoughts scattered like a storm was raging inside. I felt sick; cold beads of sweat rolled down my temples and my wound was throbbing madly again in response to my agitation.
Days had passed agonizingly; the sun rose up in the blue sky as slow as the trickling of sand through the hourglass and each night was awaited with a wish that my suffering would finally end. My fever had steadily risen through the days; the wound in my chest felt like a hot iron branded permanently into my skin. I refused to see the doctor—one look at me would spell out my horrible state and then…and then everything would be lost. I could almost see myself being drag out by the Enforcers and bloodily executed at the street like some feral animal. Well, I suppose InHumans resembled feral animal—no, they’re even more than that: they are something that shouldn’t exist.
I heard the car pulled from the driveway; I stood up dazedly, leaning at the walls of my room with my eyes screwed shut. Everything appeared too bright as I staggered down the stairs; every step was a stroke of pain lulling me to unconsciousness. I stumbled to the kitchen and crashed into the plate rack, sending them into an earsplitting smash into the floor. I grabbed a glass and filled it with cold water. I drank and drank until I can’t swallow anymore, but the itchy, unbearable thirst clawing at my throat remained unquenched, begging even more wildly to be satisfied.
There were voices in the air calling my name. I tried to open my eyes but felt as if there was a thick wool covering it, I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
The scent was there again, it was much stronger this time. It was the tempting scent of a roasted turkey surrounded by baked potatoes or the simple fried bacon in a chilly morning. The hunger in my stomach reared like a snake upon the succulent scent in the air, it was a feeling that cannot be stopped anymore, I felt like I definitely reached the end of my limit.
I felt myself move through my mindless savage instinct, in short—I don’t even know what happened. My actions were solely driven by the raging hunger inside me. I heard screams of terror all around me but my mind was thoroughly caught up to the scent, it was as if my body won’t stop unless it reach to its goal.
I staggered backwards, hitting the sink. A dull pain spread through the right side of my head but faded gradually. I looked around as I came back to my senses and saw the state of the kitchen—it looked like a tornado had swept through, everything was toppled down and broken on the floor. My attention was diverted as I heard my mother, she was cowering in the corner, wheezing and clutching her neck protectively. I glanced around slowly and saw my father holding a broken piece of the chair’s leg—it must have been the thing that hit my head.
I swallowed past the building panic in my throat. I wished for the ground to open up and swallow me as I feel the fear radiating from my parents wash over me. Their eyes were wide as pennies and showed an expression of utter terror and disgust. I looked up and saw a distorted reflection of myself in the glass door of the cabinet.
What I saw there wasn’t Andrei Devon, a seventeen year old, normal, school kid who loves playing video games—no—that guy is gone. What I saw was a figure of a monster, pale and dreadful looking, flesh-eating creature that has no place in this house.
At that moment in finally sink into me that my humanity has long been gone.