Everything is unedited as warning! x

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Thank you!

    The sun was high up in the Connecticut sky, the smell of salt water wafting in the summer breeze as two bars were locked into my death grip.

"Winnie, you need to relax." My father's voice came just from over my shoulder, his body crouched down so he could match my six year old height. One hand over my little one, while his other stayed balanced on the middle of my back.

"I don't wanna, I like my little wheels." My gaze turns from the road ahead and over to our beach house lawn, where the two training wheels lay in the grass.

"But don't you want to ride around with the big girls? You can't go as fast if you've got your little wheels on." The proposition caused my determination to hesitate. The fascination of keeping up with my cousins as the cruise down the east coast shores beats my tiny tantrum.

"Promise you won't let go?" I beg, the simple phrase held onto all the hope I had with the death contraption under me.

"I promise."

. . . . . . . . . . . . 

It would be a lie to say I expected anything. It took a year or so of weekend business trips, late nights at the office, and secret phone calls that pulled him away from us, for anyone to even notice anything. Another six months of paranoia and soon enough my dear mother was up to her ears in stress and determination. Three months after and his things were gone, tucked in a new house with the 27 year old who convinced him that life without the family he built, would be much more fulfilling.

My father wasn't a bad man, he was quite the opposite, if I'm allowing myself to be honest. A man that was always waiting at the school bus for me, or someone who helped teach me the 'safety of the roads'. You could easily say I was a daddy's girl, he could do no wrong in my eyes and no one could do anything as well as him. It's an awful thing when you build such a connection with someone, only to have them be the one to hurt you.

"Winnie please get your head out of the clouds and get the last of your things." My mother's voice was shrill, weak and scratchy from the stress and tears that have built up. The day was eerily familiar, cool breeze to take some heat off of the scorching sun. The smell of chlorine replaced salt water, and my body lay over a chair instead of a child's bike.

"What if I don't? What if I drag my things across the street and stay with Nina for Senior year?" It was brutal to the both of us having me bring up the battered topic once again. The discussion was the first of many when it came to the move. Oh the fantastic move, the one that ripped me out of my childhood home and threw me half way across the country to Chicago. I had nothing against the city, but I also had no interest in it.

"Winifred Jones, I swear to God I am not having this conversation with you anymore." We never had seen eye to eye, my mind and soul growing up with my father, leaving my mother and I close to strangers. The heavy sigh that passes her lips turns my stomach, the woman before me unsure of how to handle anything, taking care of herself was struggle enough now I had to trust her to support the both of us.

"It's hard to call it a discussion if you won't even listen to me." My words are tough and strong, but the low mutter of my voice shows my true weakness. I don't bother carrying on a conversation, her body already gone from view, leaving me lounged out on the pool side chair that I was going to give up for some city rooftop.

The silence is almost haunting, a curse as it allows my head to focus onto the dreaded day that had finally approached us. The music couldn't get loud enough to block thoughts that had me wanting to rip out my hair and break something.

"Well I hope to god our last night together isn't going to only be sitting next to the pool." It was probably the only voice that could get me to smile. My eyes opened to see a blond looking down on me as she stood at her tall 5'11 model-esque height, head blocking the blinding rays from my sight. My lips try to hold the annoyed frown my mother had left, but watching Nina's long awkward body flail into the cool water wins over my stubborn mood. My elbows bend from below me allowing a view to the ruffled waters that Nina threw herself into.

"Oh please, don't be so theatrical." I groaned when her head was out of the water. My body sat up, the sun now in the way of my eyes making me squint to protect the hazel irises.

"Just get in the goddamn pool." She laughed, arms collapsing in a way that would spray water out and over my slightly burnt body. With a shake of my head, I sent myself soaring into the pool beside her, hoping that it would leave behind the worries that seemed to have been following me for weeks now.

______________________________________________________________________________

"I still don't understand this whole thing, you can't actually be leaving me before senior year!" Her body flew across the room and flopped onto my bed proving her dramatic abilities stronger than we had assumed. My own feet took their sweet time crossing my now bare wood flooring, the old rug already packed up in a box that was thrown onto a truck and bound to meet us the next day. With a final grunt I toppled face first into the old spare blankets that temporarily were mine.

It was going to be the last night we were neighbors, the last night I had any similarity to the life I'd known for 17 years. The thought was obscure, and each time it dragged a frown over my obnoxiously thin lips.

"C'mon now, I'm the drama queen, so you aren't allowed to get all sappy." she sighed, both of us looked down at our freshly manicured nails. I envied the bright ruby red varnish on her finger tips, but the color seemed far too adventures for me. If it wasn't clear I hated change, and most things that screamed for attention, so while I dreamed of red, I stuck with a dull pink that was close to the colour of my pale nude skin.

"God I hate this!" I huff, my first real exclamation of the night "It's not fair that I'm being pulled from the place I know just because of my mother." I quickly mumble not allowing myself to accept that all of the blame couldn't be put on my mother's petite shoulders. With a roll of my eyes, I hoped to change the subject before Nina's pity party made a visit. "I just hate leaving, I've never not lived in this town, in this house. I don't know what I'm going to do without you, we've always been across the street, now where can I go for chunky monkey at one in the morning?" it was word vomit, rants that I only let out with frustration, my eyes burned like they were at battle with the tears I refused to let come out.

"Winnie you're honestly gonna make me cry, is that your goal? Do you want to see me cry?" even with the thick sarcasm I could hear the soft strain, a small laugh being heard from me while I teasingly nod my head, "you asshole." she laughs while dabbing the pads of her fingers under her eyes. It was a mess how much emotion could come from this girl, myself being more sensible rather than being 'in touch with my inner woman' as Nina justified.

"Alright no more talk about this pathetic move." I demand in the best stern voice I can muster. " I didn't sign up for a therapy session. I want to cry over Zac Efron's abs with my best friend, not over my life problems." the ramble was sweet and we both had a small laugh, and that was that. Like always we're on to the next subject. Our bodies squirm around in a mess of blankets in a lazy attempt to get comfortable in my king sized bed, our eyes diverting to the TV across from us.

The rest of the night, and a bit into the next morning, consisted of more cheesy movies that had us crying and laughing at the same time. It was bizarre how the idea of a couple hours away from my settled life had me at my wits end, of course everything would be the same no matter how hard I tried but a two hour flight was quite a difference from a two second walk.

I hated change and while the digital clock to my right ticked on, I couldn't help but sink down lower into the plush comforters. Even well after Nina had fallen asleep, I found my mind still roaming as if it was the middle of the day. There was nothing certain starting tomorrow- well in a few hours- and the idea that I was walking blindly into a new life petrified me. Though the more I thought about it, the more I heard the small voice in the back of my head, the voice slowly building a sense of excitement. I've spent 17 years in the exact same routine and I knew this was some mean joke to try and teach me some valuable 'life lesson', but couldn't it at least wait till after my final year of school? Course it can't, life waits for no one and even if I'm scared of change, I'm terrified of being left behind  

I don't know how I feel about this, it is my first story I've ever attempted so bare with me. I may experiment with different point of views or something. Anywho, I'm going to be updating randomly at first but hopefully will get onto a schedule that will become routine. Thank you and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, leave feedback or share, comment, vote... ANYTHING! This is only the Prelude/Prologue but I want input so that I can make it better for anyone who reads it. Thank you! 

All the love. Xx    -Pepper

It was raining that morning. The mood heavy like someone had died and the whole city was mourning their loss, my loss. Mother was downstairs figuring out the last of the boxes, ones that wouldn't get to the new house for a couple days, while I sat on my mattress for one last time.

Nina had left earlier, tears coating our cheeks and the pain growing with the realization. I had wanted her to stay till we drove to the airport, waved goodbye out of the taxi window like a movie, but neither of us could stand the aching and tried to make the farewell short and sweet.

"Winnie, time to go!" that was it, final call for the journey. My body rose and situated the two bags I was responsible for. My bedroom had never felt more abandoned as I turn my back to it, guilt filling me like I was leaving someone behind that didn't deserve the neglect.

My mom was by the door with her own bags next to her, eyes scanning her watch before her hand waved for me to hurry up. The taxi man was a gentleman, holding an umbrella as we got to the car that reacked of beats and bad cologne.

The rain picked up as the trunk was shut, the driver found his seat again and my eyes shot to our front door. The window coated in drops that had a fun house effect on the world beyond the glass. My head turns and looks to the window beside myself, a figure huddled under the front porch across the street, her Polish blond hair and blue eyes staring back with the same emotion I felt. My hand slowly raises, waving back and forth as the car lurches forward, Nina's figure mimicking my wave before the car was to far down the road to see her anymore.

"Here we go, two girls and one big city." I didn't bother to fake a smile for my mother's attempt at positivity, pulling headphones on and trying to keep myself from breaking down into a sappy mess of raging emotion for the second time in one day. Just like a teenage angst music video, my head leaned on the cold glass of the window, watching my town fly by in a blur of the skies spit.

___________________________________________________________________________________

The plane had been no different than the car ride, me sitting silently with my music blocking out any attempt my mother gave at trying to build a relationship, or any opinion she gave about politics and celebrity gossip.

By the time we'd reached the house, everything was already waiting, and it was chaos from that point on. A handful of men trucked around the building while I stayed sat on a nearby bench, waiting till everything had slightly calmed down. The men gathered their paychecks from my, far too generous, mother before splitting and leaving a mess of brown cardboard for us to deal with.

"You hungry?" my resistance about the move not easing up until we'd stepped inside, eyes taking a look around the foyer. I really wanted to hate it more than I did.

"Yea, I guess." It was a dry answer, something I tried to change but failed at, but she just smiled and nodded as though it was proof that there was substance to our mother daughter status.

"Good! Okay, I'll look around those menus from the mail. How about you start unpacking the boxes in your room, get a feel for the house. " A small sigh was drained from me, watching her thick auburn hair swish around her head as she looked about the room that led to an unexplored house.

While she went out to grab the mail, that somehow had stuffed the mailbox full, I allowed myself to take the scenic route to my room. My mom wasn't one to make decisions quickly, so I was almost positive the positioning of furniture would surely be changed a few times before she would finally be satisfied.

I made a loop around the first floor, examining the kitchen that differed from the stainless steel and white cabinets that was back in Connecticut. Everything was darker wood and far more old fashioned than the house my father had built specifically for our family. The floor was a loop, and after the kitchen with a long hallway and miscellaneous doors, I stepped through the living room I knew my mother would spend the majority of her time watching E! news or Access Hollywood there.

My mother had sorted out which room she got and which one I got. My eyes following the boxes with different labels that made it a maze of trying to find my room. I'd gotten to the second floor, passed everything labeled 'Evelyn' and stubbled upon boxes that finally hit interest for me. They all were dense and each time I moved one it would sound a loud thump I was sure shook the house. Books were swallowed up in the moving containers, organized in no particular way, and locked into place with their old bindings poking up.

The room itself was surrounded by gorgeous mahogany shelves that even had room for new findings. My hands peel open a box, pulling out an old favourite that was close to loosing it's cover. I knew I should find my way to my room, clean out my clothes and organize, but my hands were already filling up the room I was bound to spend most of my time in.

Boxes of similar size were all scattered about, not really focusing on each box by itself but letting my OCD side kick in as I organize by genre and size. Different books seemed to pull different reactions, reminding me of highschool or middle school, even found one that I'd received for my third birthday.

When the boxes only contained papers with no home and old bookmarks that looked better in the trash, I finally got up the nerve to head up the last flight of stairs in search of my new room.

"Winnie?" my mom's voice cuts me short as I stepped to the stairs in the corner of the room, "Do you want to get pizza? Chicago is known for good pizza so we might try it out." her rambles were proof of her trying and with a heavy sigh my head nodded up and down.

"Sure thing, mom!" I called back, hearing no response, and starting up. The third floor was only a few rooms; my bedroom, bathroom, and an extra room we probably would end up using for storage. I turn and step into the room with boxes labeled 'Winifred's things', the towers of cardboard intimidating as I walked across to the mattress against the back wall.

The smell was something of dust and age, the mattress adding something new to the house since it had been pulled from it's packaging only an hour or so before. I pulled down one of the boxes from it high up places, placing it down and peeling the top open. The sight of one of my skirts pulls a small smile onto my lips, my hands scooting to the bags of hangers while starting down on the box.

I wasn't positive on how long I'd been up there, but eventually my closet was restored and the majority of the boxes lay empty and stacked within one another. My eyes turn over to the closet, it being much more cramped than it used to be, and revealing my slight obsession with clothing and accessories of all kind.

My body slowly sits onto the mattress, mind had finally caught up with my body as my eyes dance around the blank walls that are open to any sort of creativity I decide on. It was empty, something my mother begged me to change, but my stubbornness hadn't budged for till I had the stupid triumph. I had a story that I could finally write, a fresh breath of air that I could turn into a frog if I dare try. My heart seemed to stutter, the idea of a new everything was fearful enough, I hadn't even considered the thought of a different me emerging. My eyes dancing to the pictures that rested on top of a box I had pushed to the side, curious about whether or not I was the same person since the man, smiling in the butterfly picture frame, had proven he wasn't.

"Winnie, the pizza's here!" I felt grateful for my mother's holler, my eyes staying for a second longer on the picture, before heading out to find where she was.

___________________________________________________________________________________

"Get all your stuff?" Her voice pulls me to look away from the white leather beneath me and over to her, nodding briefly in response. "Good. We should probably get everything unpacked, don't want to start school while living out of boxes." It was a weak start at conversation, easily revealing my mums apologetic voice.

Our eyes meet, and the dreadful tension that had been following us for weeks finally lifted. Nothing else was said, small smiles breaking onto our lips before we burst. No excuse for the behaviour, nothing of humour coming from us, and yet we laugh. The house was silent beside our hysteric cackling. My eyes filling with tears at the force of my laughter, her brown orbs already letting small droplets slip across her porcelain cheeks.

The insanity only lasted a minute or so, before we were both taking heavy breaths and poking at our pasta. There was nothing more to be said, a silent agreement written out before being tucked away. Dinner was soon over, the take out containers tossed away and menus placed in a convenient drawer before reality resumed.

"James will be by in the morning to help move things around." It's as though on cue, once we'd settled she shoved us into chaos once more. An unintentional scoff sounds from me, followed by a deep breath from her.

"The least you could do is give him a chance. He really wants to get to know you, get to know us." James Ocalan, my mum's brand new boyfriend. At least that's what she called him but I only saw a smug asshole. James was the man she welcomed into our lives after a week without my father, a week before she too had decided our family was to boring for her.

"I don't know why he's got to be involved." I sneer while I tugged the end of my jumper over my hands, arms crossed over my chest like a child.

"Because between the two of us we'll barely be able to unpack the house by the end of the weekend." Her voice is tense and I know I've pushed her too far for the night. "He'll be here at eight, please just be nice." It's her way of shutting down further argument when she turned to a box and rips the top open. My heels spun on the cool wood floor before heading over and toward the stairs. "Oh, and he's bringing his daughter. Her name's Courtney, she's about your age."

With yet another low sigh and the dread of people coming early in the morning, I pulled myself up the stairs and back to the room that was supposedly mine. I don't give the disorganized boxes a glance and walk to the closet in search of sweats and a t-shirt.

I'm quick as I slipped on a pair of soft pink shorts and a white shirt that had our country club logo over my left breast. A couple minutes spent in the bathroom and I barely can muster the energy to throw myself over the stacked pillows and puffed white comforter.

With quick and uncoordinated movements, I manage to shove all but three pillows of the bed and snuggle up under the blankets. Even with the magic comforter and dreamy soft sheets, I can't manage to find any sort of comfort. The mattress is new and firm all the way across, no molding that matches my body after years of sleeping. It's just flat and new, stupid and waiting for something to shape it and break it in.   

So this part is finally up, and I like this a little bit more! I'm working on the next part so hopefully I can get that up relatively soon because that would be great to move forward with this!! All the love. X

~Pepper xx