Im Not A Monster


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I pace around the tattoo parlour, going back and forth between two designs. Usually I wouldnt take this long on a decision, but for my first tattoo I want to get it right. I need to get it right, or I would never hear the end of it from my mother, who is far from pleased with the whole tattoo thing anyway, with the most supportive thing shes said to me being "make the right choice". I pick up the two designs and walk to the counter, each step I realise Im getting closer to permenantly inking something on to my skin. I place the two frames with my designs on the counter top, the metal against the birch top made a noticable thump which distracted the guy from his (probrably porno) magazine.           "Right this way" he says, in a bored mono tone as if its the 100 time hes had to recite that line, and im just another thing to check of his chore list.

"Hang on, Im still trying to decide between these two designs." 

I say, leaning against the counter nodding towards the frames. 

"Well hurry up then" he hissed with impatience.

"Actually I wanted your opinion" I say rarther sternly, leaning slightly further forward over the counter.

"Alright then" he smiles sarcastically "what are the options"

"This sun flower" I mutter, pointing towards the golden yellow sun flower with the detailed center. "Or this candel" I finish pointing towards a design for a melting candel, lit, dripping hot wax.

"What do they mean?" He chuckles insultingly, the tattos on his face morfing when he raises his eyebrows with laughter. 

"The candel, shows that some people light up your insides, warm you, look after you. And others will blow out the candel, leaving smoke and cold."  The expression on his face changes from mockery to interest.

"And the sunflower?" He questioned. I think for a moment, there was nt a reason for the sunflower, It just felt right. 

"I guess Ive just always liked sunflowers" I shrug, realising what a fool I must have appeared to him as, some buff kid wanting a flower tattoo on him for no good reason.

"I think the candle makes more sense son" he says through chesty laughter which I presume is from smoking.

"Sunflower it is" I say smirking and walking over too the tattoo chair.

This moment was very pleasing to me, I felt like I had just won a achievement in a video game, like 'respect earned' or 'bad guy down'. "Wheres it going?" He asked briskly, in a gruff tone.

"Lower back" He pushed the temporary tattoo onto my lower back and pulled off the papper. 

"Like that?" He asked voice filled with impatience

"Perfect" I say, as he takes no time to get to work.

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