& the Business of Life

By Pradeep Maheshwari

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gururdeva@yahoo.com

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Academy of Behavioral Therapy

A small expose on what makes us tick and how it affects our health and well being.

When discussing illness and cures, let us not forget the "generator" deep within us. Depending on the level of our conscious development of our compassionate, grateful and discerning “SELF”, the quality of energies bubbling from within us can make or mar our lives.The quality and intensity of our Desires, Well-wishing and Aspirations all get energies from our Inner Being and seek for "Realisation" into the outwardly material world.Prayers or thoughts and feelings create ripples that have "real" and penetrating effects on us and the people, things around them. The material, physical bodies are also affected. Our own lives are affected.

For me, bringing up a subject is a missionary goal. I like to stir the pot so that the awareness of people for taking responsibility of their lives and health is awakened. Of course in this frame of mind, I can only speak in general and my words are aimed at the general majority who has not bothered to educate itself and are not very perturbed either. It is really sad.Sadder is the fact that people who are aware and have deep understanding and knowledge of the picture confront me rather immediately with exceptions to prove me how wrong I am.Now this is quite surprising and I always wonder why they do so!

I request readers of these passages to take a generous view and look at the pointers I am trying to raise without making it a scientifically accurate and legally accurate document. The words that follow are with sincere intention of making people think in order to raise their own bars.

Chapter 1

The body has deep knowledge and is absorbing, correcting, nullifying and even fighting off the continuous bombardment that the world throws at it. It still manages to maintain a cheerful countenance and supports us and our vanities to the last second. It is in our interest to listen to it with greater attention and ACT on the conversation.

To understand how to take better care of us, we should begin with the essentialities of our make-up.

Now few million years have gone into the making of the present-day man and the human race as we see it today. Nature has been quietly at work to produce this efficient machine that we call the human body. What matters now is its proper management and maintenance. This is our specialty and a serious one. Not only do our lives depend upon it but also the survival of future generations.

A completely well person is rare to find. Humans have never been very careful with the care of their bodies. The industrial development has only expanded the range of misuse. Till only recently, we were living off the land and in perfect harmony with Mother Nature’s plans. Not so today. We have created for ourselves a synthetic civilisation of cities in which nothing is natural. Everything we eat, use, and everything that surrounds us has been artificially created or contaminated. There can be absolutely no argument on the point that the equilibrium of the body is wholly shaken and stirred.

That things are not well is easy to know. Sickness has now become the modern man’s constant companion. We manage to get along on the strength of highly potent medication, which in turn is also synthetic. Marvelous surgery is available to make in- situ repairs. The human race merrily bumbles along.

A little understanding and a little care are all that is required to keep well. There is really no need to shock and burden our bodies so. We hope for a better and longer life. A very legitimate wish, but a wish that can come true only if the body is well and healthy. Therefore we need to learn the basics of natural therapeutics.

Natural therapeutics is nothing new. Our ancestors knew of no other way to care for themselves, except that their knowledge was based on tradition while today ours is backed by scientific investigation. Unfortunately, thousands of research papers are published every year and no heed is paid to them. Not even by the medical fraternity. We need to regain the lost art of natural healing, backed by today’s surer knowledge.

There are primarily 40 nutrients that the body takes in every day to produce over 10,000 compounds. Most of these nutrients come from the food we eat and the water and air that we take in unconsciously. The lack of even one element results in a few tens or even hundreds of compounds to go missing. A fully healthy body, going at full steam, will falter when it does not get all the nutrients it needs. When this lack continues for a long period of time, permanent damage can occur due to chemical imbalances that are bound to break the chain. The tragedy is that it is not fully understood how the details work, but at least the basics are known.

Even if we are eating well and living correctly, a point to note is that in the past few generations, the intake of food has gone down in quantity. We are exerting less, so we need less food. This is in turn reducing the intake of the nutrients. Some of the body’s functions have been subverted; like sweating. Constipation is more common. The elimination process has been totally disrupted and the intake process is not only disrupted but contaminated too. The positive side of our scientific breakthroughs have also given us the solutions in the form of supplements, ready-made health products that are easy to take and very convenient indeed.

It is sad that knowledge collected over the past thousands of years has suddenly become suspect.

Have we forgotten that we eat to sustain the body? How come certain foods have become "medicine" and need the advice of a doctor whereas what we eat daily is considered just stuff to fill bellies to satisfy the palate and hunger pangs?

Within two generations, the knowledge of good health, collected over thousands of years has evaporated into thin air.

Naturopathic suggestions are good but not always helpful. Why?

Maybe true in its essence but in my practice I have noted that our bodies have been so contaminated by artificial chemistry that naturopathic rules and dosages don’t hold good as they used to. In some cases there is no response at all thru naturopathic treatment and in some cases the body is so overwhelmed by gratitude that it takes this as a signal to try and reverse back to the natural state by throwing out all foreign nonsense stuck within it - thereby creating a crisis and frightening the patients who then run to modern medicine again. This results from the body having all its natural propensities destroyed or changed due to antibiotics, and other chemical contaminants from the atmosphere and water and in our food.

I have had many occasions when people asked for my advice when they saw how I had benefited from my style of living but they always go back to their doctor and ask for his opinion on my advice and of course the doctor says NO.

I never understand why they ask for my advice and go back to the guy who is not being able to treat them in the first place.

Especially on matters of naturopathy; nobody asks the doctor if it is OK to eat fries and hamburgers but when we advise them to take juice of Gooseberry or Aloe Vera they go straight to their Modern medicine expert who has unknowingly become the extension of the pharma industry and of course it is but human nature to keep to the straight and narrow and the doctors are not prepared to risk giving advice that they are not sure of.

An old adage says: EAT ONLY THAT FOOD WHICH ROTS AND DO IT BEFORE IT DOES. Avoid foods that have been processed and preserved too long. Live in a way so that all the very minimum needs of the body for relaxation and exercises are met. A lot of things are being overdone. Some foods are being eaten to the exclusion of others. Foods are laced with dangerous chemicals. Quite often very little at all is in our control. We can only exercise restraint.

There is a hefty increase in the needs of nutrients because the levels of stresses and strains have been exponentially augmented by our desire to have more and live comfortably. We must absolutely reduce irritants like noise and polluted areas, if we can. The water and air that we are taking in are unfortunately giving us slow poisoning. A little observation of the cycle of nature will give us the key.

Even if you reach a point where treatment becomes an absolute necessity, it has to be remembered that medication can only help you pass over the bump, but for the cure the strength and vitality needed has to be provided by the body. A good question to ask at this juncture would be as to where does the body gets its vitality. Without the life force, medication is useless. Just two examples will open your eyes: the indiscriminate use of air conditioners, which robs the body of its flexibility to adjust to temperature and weather changes, and the excessive watching of television which is creating vitamins A & D deprived couch potatoes with poor eyesight, paunch bellies, high cholesterol levels, and absolutely no capacity to take even the slightest physical stress. This lifestyle robs the mind of its analytical prowess, overloads the emotions with negative thoughts, and increases the desires unending. This is the perfect formula to disaster and a one-way ticket to the psychiatrist’s couch if not the coffin directly.

It is not clear if our fight against disease has taken us where we were hoping to arrive. We certainly don’t seem to have become a healthier species although life expectancy has gone up and emergency and trauma care is the best that man has ever seen.

New Maladies for Old

Pick up any journal of child medicine around 80-100 years old and the terrifying subject most likely to meet your eyes would be cholera or diphtheria. Cleanliness, better sanitation and antibiotics have conquered these trifles. This is the heartening reality of today in better-organized societies. Unfortunately a new problem is being faced. Most important on the list of pediatric medicine, right up there with hay fever and sinusitis, asthma and itches is the new breed of allergies; quite often unexplained and most often difficult to treat.

What is happening? It seems this is the result of an immune system, which is no more in synch with nature and its surroundings. There is a big possibility that it is the result in parts of our control over the natural habitat in which the human system evolved over the many millenniums in conditions teeming with hostile bacteria and viruses. There is a relative urgency to understand and know what to do as not only are the numbers of cases going up fast but the intensity of the problems is also more severe.

Most of the cases are overreactions to many foods. Almost any food can trigger some allergy or the other but 90% of the times, it is these eight categories: milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, finfish, shellfish, soy and wheat.

These are the products that have seen high levels of intervention by human hands in the production and processing with cross breeding and genetic changes achieved deliberately; these harmless substances create the same reactions in many people, as would many harmful pathogens.

Genetics can be blamed but the rise is so sharp that this cannot be the real culprit. It has to be the sudden change in the environment, which has been seen in the last century. One obvious place to look for is the air. The water and the earth are not far behind. Over the last three generations the levels of unnatural elements, such as pesticides, preservatives and heavy metals to be found in the human body have gradually increased.

There is a new hypothesis, which is highly supported by many studies. This is the hygiene hypothesis. It tries to explain these allergies by assigning the reason that by keeping the children protected, we are not allowing the body’s immune system to develop at all. Which in layman terms means that exposure to cold, wind, mud and all other variants of Mother Nature’s Touch is actually good for the child. A little sickness creates the very antibodies that will protect the child in later years against more serious illnesses. All our shortsighted understanding of over-protection against even minor sniffles is really harmful.

To add to this reality is the horrifying over-use of antibiotics for no good reasons and without clear understanding of their use; which is creating super bugs that are resistant to treatment when REALLY required.

We tend to brush aside the body's signals to accommodate our other requisites. The mind can over-ride the body's signals and it forces the body to go along with its wishes that are in turn being imposed by the desire-center. etc etc etc.

We just need to pay attention to the body and we shall know for sure.

In a lighter vein and in one of my poetic moods I wrote this spoof on human evolution:

A hole opened out in the middle of the square. Invisible to mortal eyes.

The leader of the anti-world slowly rose out on his steed and looked around with great attention.

He looked at buzzing cars and said “oh the kids have learnt to master these monsters. Let us give them something else: and turbo chargers were added. And the fun of watching pile-ups increased ten fold.

He looked at the poor people stuck to their telephones. His sense of pity cut the wires. Now they could carry the telephone in their pockets or stuck to their ears and walk into supercharged racing moving cars; painting such lovely blood splattered canvases.

This gave the human babies the sense of spiritual experience of obliviousness and yet still be connected.

He saw the people moping in parks with nothing better to do than feed the pigeons. His helping nature gave them moving pictures in their rooms and now nobody needs to or has any inclination to move out of their homes. This was his great success story. Now He could feed any destructive thought into the minds of these imbeciles from any corner of the world.

They now had company and families on the flick of a switch and these families did not talk back or create scenes.

He saw the plight of these simple minded folks and their need for power to keep their idiot boxes running and the recliners heated. Out of great sympathy he gave the secrets of the atom and they soon developed it to perfection with a little help from Him of course.

He then saw the sick and His heart melted. He gave the Sawbones new ideas to subvert the body’s perfect balance and the populace lapped it up. The goal of life became a game of golf.

He saw the hungry and he helped them produce more children so that they could have more hands to work and earn to feed the family. At the other end of the chain He found receptive adherents who really liked the idea of genetic manipulation to grow more food.

Together with the disciples in the hospitals, they destroyed the fabric; something He had not been able to do since the last few million years. Perfection indeed.

Now with him in every seed, the control that had eluded Him since centuries, was complete

This was perfect. A world so lovely that he need not go back too often to His own to feel at home.

His patience of millions of years has finally borne fruit.

We can really be better than this.

Nothing is being said against drugs or surgery or modern medicine or any medical systems. The point is against the attitude to maintaining or not caring to maintain willfully good health by living in a way that is known to the body so that medicine or such may not be required + our attitude to death. In case medical intervention is required in a crisis situation like heart attacks, burns or car accidents, only modern medicine can help - it is then what must be must be.

If you counter by saying that you have seen people helped, I have seen people being unnecessarily operated upon, given treatment when the doctors knew well that they have no cure and often people who would have been declared dead at home are kept so called "alive" by artificial machines.

The question is do we know and are honest enough to know when to stop and abusing our bodies.

Also it is my deep feeling that modern medicine practitioners are not open to ask or take help from other long established curative practices and they are not wholly truthful in admitting when things are beyond them so that the patient can try something else for good or bad – after all death is the final event anyway.

Keeping people alive by all means fair and foul is not in our philosophy and that is how we see the western medicine doing things. The caretaker’s job is to alleviate pain and allow the patient to meet to meet his maker happily. Where treatments cause pain then I am not for it.

We see people being amputated, cut and drugged and made to linger on support in the name of treatment and this is not our way.

I hate the word "battle" used when illnesses like cancers erupt. As it is the body is mightily abused are not being nice and responsive to their bodies, then when the poor body is near collapse they push it thru an obstacle race to prove what? – that it can linger on against terrific odds!!!

I am certain that if bodies could speak for themselves they would all go to court to take "Restrain/Stop" orders.

Unfortunately the mind is in control and it simply does not want to die and simply does not have the knowledge to live - because it was too busy enjoying life's unending sensations - and did not bother to learn the tricks of happy healthful living.

In the Sri Aurobindo Ashram where I grew up in the 1950/60s, where we were protected by the Media and the Cinematic power, we grew up under compassionate and living care of elders who were keeping their selfish selves under wrap for their own “Sadhana”.

And we learnt thru good physical training to pay attention and listen to our bodies. So much so that even today after 50 years of modern living, our bodies tend to override the mind in many decisions and often thru subconscious signals even give the answers to cure episodes of illness.

Admittedly, there is a problem of ethics and economy. The hospitals are under pressure to generate funds. In an organisation, the workers cannot decide policies and the doctors are now very afraid about mal practice suits. So the patient himself needs must learn more and become aware of what is going on. The wrongdoings imposed on the body in a life-time cannot be corrected overnight; patients must take this into consideration.

Most people become aware when the end is near. They must accept this in a pragmatic way and withdraw.

The doctors MUST be truthful.

Do we see any of this happening?

Edward Stanulevich IV: This attitude is changing. More doctors are becoming better informed on alternative and complementary options. I have seen doctors admit on many occasions that they don't know what is wrong or have no way of treating it. Legally, physicians have to be careful about recommending alternative practices. Medicine is moving rapidly away from anecdotal practice to evidence based practice. Alternative/complementary/natural approaches that are shown scientifically to work are being integrated (at best) into practices or at least suggested to the patients. There are medical doctors who use acupuncture, not because they make much money off of it, but because they know it works for their patients. There is evidence showing this.

Many physicians are suggesting vitamins, herbs, or diet and exercise for conditions. One good example is vitamin B 12 for neuropathy. A good doctor would rather you try this first, before putting you on a medication like Gabapentin. I can't tell you how many times I have seen, read, or heard of a doctor “prescribing” 20-30 minutes of walking a day. The medical community as a whole and as individuals are coming around to the importance of prevention over treatment. They are coming around to natural corrective measures before invasive.

Yes, there are doctors, and I use the term loosely, that are like you describe. Some people go into medicine for the money. But not all. Many go into it for the right reasons, to help their patients.

The problems you describe certainly aren't all due to medical practices or training either. Often, patients simply want the quick fix. They won't try the common sense approach. They want dramatic (and expensive) intervention.

Is there abuse of the system? Of course! What system isn't abused by individuals looking for personal gain? Naturopathic and Allopathic medicine are no longer mortal enemies. As evidence based medicine becomes more prominent in the medical community, we will see the boundary between the two dissolve as physicians and patients alike draw upon what works and discard what doesn't.

Steve Kane: It's the patients who demand the quick painless fix, not the doctors - they generally know that that is not often available. The drug companies merely step in to gratify that demand, but in the process use the funds to develop good drugs that benefit folk like me.

All practitioners and the folk who supply them with remedies, whether "natural" or not - operate in the marketplace in some way. The demand for natural remedies has laid waste the world's natural species, and I don't just mean rhino horn, the Himalayas have been stripped bare in some areas of certain species of herb as well as the suffering inflicted on animals such as bears in the quest for bile much favoured in Chinese ‘natural" medicine.

The unwell have always been exploited, and those with money and no desire to actually keep fit by working at it have been the most vulnerable. The truth in medicine and its application have never been more available in history.

Indian medicine has its fair share of charlatans too, as in religion, and when they mix, the result is seriously toxic - but ongoing for centuries.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: I agree with both of you. I use the modern preparations like inhalers that otherwise would have made my life hell but at the same I keep aware from research reports what in today's technological world is good and bad and then adapt to live with the flow. This has resulted in better living standard and this is what I am trying to make people aware of. Specially in India where cheating, malpractices and absolute laziness (spiritual, mental and physical) is predominant.

I must also admit that most of the research reports and changes are also coming from the labs from the western countries and although they started the modern trends, they are now the ones spearheading the change too and sincerely fighting for the whole world.

Modern science has given us many goodies. For example take Multivitamin supplements or predigested proteins - helps everybody; simple to take and portable enough to never miss taking it. Taken in medicinal doses, the body can often cure itself without any medical intervention.

All foods have something or the other and they work in tandem, which is complementing each other. The concept of active main ingredient and then choosing an item for it is not valid in nature. We don’t really need to understand the entire detailed functioning of the body. The permutations and combinations are beyond calculation.

Eat foods of all colors, chew them well. Give the body fresh air and sunlight and rest and darkness as nature intended. The body will maintain its molecular structure with these elements and manage.

Sickness is the result of certain vitamins, minerals or other elements missing for too long - leaving unbridgeable gaps and then the body's molecular structure starts collapsing.

Most people get into the habit of eating only some given dishes that they like. This limits their nutrient intake to such an extent that most begin to suffer from some deficiency or the other which eventually translates into serious illnesses.

What I am against is the food-like products that are poisons in bright packaging that the industry is dishing out knowingly. This is really evil.

You both must see that these posts are for awakening the dormant spirits in the general populace and let's not forget that the politicians, administrators, doctors that we complain about are all coming from our own people - so in the final analysis we have to be goaded to look critically at ourselves.

Add to this fact is the criminalization of medical science. ---

And for those who believe that there are no unethical practices being followed by drug companies, hospitals and doctors - all I can say is you are living in an imaginary world.

Why is it that we never learn or remember or bother to take corrective measures?

There is a saying – They’ll go to dig the well when the fire has started.

Indolence.

PK: Our indolence and not wanting to do our part is absolute.

Organisers are simply not ready for the crowds.

As it is, Indians have no idea or understanding of logistics. We plan more on the Dependence on Miracles by God than laws of numbers and physics.

Our lack of planning and maintenance is legendary.

I give an everyday example which I have seen happening every single time. They never seem to learn - they will bring the heavy & HOT casserole to the dinning table and then with it in their hands start looking for something to place it on so that the laminate of the table is not damaged. Somebody has to then run to find and get something. This done, then they will all sit down to eat and THEN they will realise that they forgot to bring the serving spoons.....etc etc

Steve Kane: The problem with India - is that many of what it sees as its qualities are actually its failings, and vice-versa. Partly this is because of the 'Vedic Myth'. The Irish have a similar problems with their group myth - most of which in nonsense. The true value of India, and Ireland maybe is in its industriousness and practical creativity, the indolence is born of being trapped in the 'poetic myth' that has served the interests of generations of overlords - most of them internal conquerors, not invaders from outside.

The Gita, after all is a story of a war between cousins. Only under the British was the entire subcontinent one unit, all other versions are myth, the same is true of Ireland until independence. The Irish myth fed the nationalist Indians, and both were unable to unite after independence. The British were no saints, but neither were previous dominant classes in either land.

My ancient ancestors were kings in Ireland - but only of a small bit, they claimed descent from kings of all Ireland - hundreds of years before, but there is no evidence there was one single kingdom, or that there needed to be.

A nation state called "India" needs first to justify itself in ways beyond religion, for dogmatic religion, as in Ireland (Roman Catholicism), has been a curse. In India it has been the caste element that that has driven Indians into the religions of their overlords, as its roots were aristocratic and urban.

What Indians think of as ancient Hinduism - only shows up in the historical record around 500CE, before that is a confusion of folklore, Jainism, Buddhism and many other threads.

Likewise in Ireland folk only became hardened Catholics when the English took the invasion seriously and prompted intensive attention from Irish-speaking priests from Rome, before that they were still more influenced by the ancient British Christianity from c300CE - itself much influenced in its monasticism by Buddhist and Jain influence via Asia Minor.

History is fascinating - but "Public History" is mostly lies, academic historians and those who follow them know different.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: Yes. But the problem as I see it is how to bring this info to the public and how to make them accept any of it. Even the intelligentsia immediately attacks me - "You are an Indian too, bravo for denigrating your own people" the moment a word against the flow is said.

So I provoke, hopefully some will be tickled into looking at things correctly.

I often ask people when they talk of Mahabharat, Buddha - what do you think was the population in that period? Was trade and commerce so well advanced that they would do or be capable of doing all the stories you tell?

The entire enigma of existence is hidden behind the fact that every individual is totally certain that he has “seen” the world, knows all there is to really know and is perfectly attuned to understanding each and every other person and phenomena.

If the above assumption be true then of course there is nothing that can be taught to this person nor is he in a frame of mind to learn. And as a corollary it is easy to understand why he will never understand a new point of view and all attitudes not to his way of thinking automatically become non-relevant and suspect.

In most cases this can be seen to be the root cause behind our tendency to see others as silly & not in the know. Our arrogance then takes the onerous job of correcting and teaching the wayward thinker the standardized truth.

Sometimes the treatments meted out by modern techno-based medicine scares the daylight out of me.

Why do people call it a battle? Specially when they refer to cancer. The microbes are designed by Nature do a job. If you let them, they will do their thing. First we create the best possible environment for them to proliferate and then we fight them without improving or correcting the environment which has now become their space. The horrific systems to fight them that have been devised are mind boggling – totally missing the cause and never taking into consideration that the body has all the power to heal itself if given the proper elements. The process is highly destructive that destroys the invader and the castle. It is like throwing the baby with the bath water.

Then we complain that the battle was lost.

The body has a simple memory system that records everything (please note that I am NOT talking of the mental memory but a subliminal memory of the body which is an entirely different thing).

Too many activities at the same time or in speedy succession can confuse it and deregulate its memory and cause stress. This is the basic reason behind advising - to eat simple fare and not too many things at a time - not having too many partners - being engaged in too many complex projects.

This causes stress and as the mind is directly involved the mind also gets derailed. You go nuts - no specific reason needed to be identified or required (the western doctors and pharma are cashing on this). This is basically behind the anxiety levels, depression levels, sense of insecurity and stress induced illnesses of today's multi faceted electronic culture. Think of the body as slow computer with a very simple operating program - like it was in the 70s or so years ago.

Our older cultures that were closer or are closer to nature, reflect and practice this understanding. Even Homoeopathy is very near to this understanding - it depends on the memory contained in the physical-material envelop of the earth to activate the healing process.

A remark in passing.......

* the best use of a physician's knowledge is to teach patients how to heal themselves.' Dr. David Simon

In principle yes. But the it is also to be noted ……The doctors are not interested, have no time and the patients are too lazy and too much in doubt.

My niece was having trouble caring for her daughter. I explained certain things which would be common sense things - she cut me short and replied - I take her to the best doctor; what else can I do?

It was clear that she has done her part and can do no more + she has done her best – you can’t fault her.

Her total attitude to NOT use her discrimination was astonishing.

Which leads me to think that in people, there is no real interest in their well being.

People are not interested. Humans do not see - do not want to see - the connection in the long term effects of most activities. Habits and immediate pleasures are the prime motivators.

I am studying this subject of change in diet and food habits constantly. Ayurveda our traditional medicine of India understood and through rituals made correct living part of our way of life in India. How to adapt this knowledge in today’s life st6yle is the question we all need to learn to answer at our own personal levels.

We are also falling prey to the same thinking and style of living as of the western scientific method. What they have done to food is sheer murder. BUT; Food is now better tasting and convenient. We are content.

If we go back 12000 years, as put in this quote to emphasise mainly the disconnect with nature we’ll see how we have arrived where we are.

“During the Paleolithic period, about 12,000 years ago, people ate primarily non-starchy vegetables, fruit, nuts, roots and lean meat, including ostrich and bison as well as organ meats and seafood—a far cry from the standard American diet. Today, these healthy staples have been largely replaced with refined sugar, high fructose corn syrup, cereal, bread, potatoes and pasteurized milk products … which are doing you no favors in terms of health. During the Paleolithic period our ancestors didn't die of heart disease, diabetes and cancer -- which are among the leading causes of death today, and all are related to diet.

Even going back just 100-150 years back is enough. What was the average age in 1900 and the main sicknesses? The point is not that there were sicknesses or not and but that the sickness of today are not "natural" and are man-made. Then they were dieing of “consumption & whooping cough” now with more painful and incurable ones like Cancer and Aids. And lately I hear of even worse non-treatable things.

The genetic changes are the frightening part. Will these alter our outside looks too? Even thoughts have definite effect on our looks then how can genetics and chemicals not have any? Now we have given Mother Nature another shock by making deliberate changes in the genetic make up of plants. I am scared to think of the changes that this will engender.

Think of the mind as an untrained, moral-less warrior with a "We" and "They" mentality.

If he is not one of ours, then he must be an enemy! This is the human physical mind in action based on primeval survival and primitive thinking patterns.

Medicine in the European countries evolved after the middle ages on the battleground. Amputation was their first line of treatment and this thought is still around. Then because they had learnt to make precise instruments to kill on a large scale (their minds work best when thinking on the lines of mass marketing/spreading), their appetite grew and was satisfied by war.

History is more in tune with war than peace. It shows in whatever they do. Look how the police act in USA-it is more a semi army/swat operation all the time. Control and Overpower is the basic principle. The same attitude shows in their style of treatment in cancer or other illnesses.

This is the idiocy of present day medical philosophy. Always looking for extreme and simplified reasons behind everything. So many medicines from plants/other sources have been analysed to look for the "Active Ingredient". One shot, one explanation and the simplest one at that for every cause and effect. Anything more than that confuses the rather uncomplicated puny minds.

Every little thing is transformed into high drama and a marketing bonanza - not truth but money is behind all this stupidity garbed as wisdom.

Then with their marketing and media they go hoarse touting their discovery and making quick money out of it. Now in many countries under the sway of modern medicine, they are even legalising the thought process that everything about natural and age old products/philosophy is wrong.

In the last 50 years, if you study the pronouncements, you will see in every field, they have been announcing and then being forced to accept their error. Quite often the opposite coming out to be the truth.

They do help you survive but can they sincerely call it a cure with all the side-effects that get left behind for the patient? Today’s technological medicine is designed to help you over the bump/crisis situation and they have a marvelous surgery. But cures no. They are coming to this now with their stem cells technology etc but it is an evolving system. In its present state it is very barbaric although highly refined technologically.

Something IS wrong! My take on vaccines.

The discussion started here:

“Ironically, if not tragically, while increasing amounts of research highlight the many dangers of vaccinations and their ineffectiveness, the US government keeps insisting that everything is fine, "just get your shots and don't worry about it. We know what we're doing!"…..”

But do they really? The evidence is overwhelmingly negative in this regard.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: I would rather that an infirm child of mine find release in death than suffer for his whole life (for example with autism) and make the life of his parent also miserable + a drain on resources. Time and resources that would go to better use on other children/affairs.

The argument that vaccinations (in general) are NOT more dangerous than the diseases they prevent sounds great logically.

And I would also admit that pox etc did create infirms too.

But over all when the cases go bad nowadays the picture is rather more horrific than things were earlier a century ago.

There is no doubt, the principle of vaccination itself makes it clear that we are introducing sickness into the system. What effect it will have is incalculable taking into consideration the genetic predisposition of any given individual - the permutations and combinations are totally beyond calculation. It is the great beauty of the human body's perfect chemistry that more people don’t get sick.

The very principle of illness based prevention or/and cure rather than individual based, is flawed.

I may add that I did get my child vaccinated and in the sensitive time of babyhood this seemed good but I feel now that her system is mature, things should be left alone. Give the best diet and strengthen immunity seems the correct approach

Interfering too much with adult chemistry can only upset a delicate status quo that has built up over million of years.

Another subject that comes up is protecting people from death. Whatever for? We now have a huge infirm old population. To what purpose?

Donna Osborn: Thank you Pradeep, for sharing your timely wisdom. To those that deny autism as adverse effect of vaccine, even the package insert, if you are demanding enough to get one, says that one of the adverse reactions to DTaP is autism. If you can't get the insert, you can go to FDA's website which discloses that "Adverse events reported during post-approval use of D-TaP vaccine,Tripedia, include ... SIDS ..autism ... convulsion/grand mal convulsion...Events were included in this list because of the seriousness or frequency of reporting."

http://www.fda.gov/downloads/BiologicsBloodVaccines/Vaccines/ApprovedProducts/ucm101580.pdf

Samantha Mason: Donna I also have a vaccine injured child and now network with hundreds of parents of vaccine injured kids. It is foolish of any parent to not research vaccines and blindly give them to their kids. Vaccines studies are flawed and manipulated just as most other studies on drugs are. Clean water and indoor plumbing has eradicated most diseases, now we are left with a load of autoimmune diseases caused by vaccines. I have a pdf that the FDA printed about tumorgenic cells being used vaccines that really opened my eyes. Cancers and ASD and a wide range of autoimmune diseases are now new epidemics.

Autism is also not heard of amongst Amish communities that don’t vax. How do you explain that?

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: I am with you Samantha Mason. These pro vaccine people talk of proof and studies but they neglect the real cases in front of their eyes.

Ayurved as a medical system was developed by Seers with intuitive knowledge and has proven itself over thousands of years. Yet today the new medical system calls it unproven because they have not researched or it is beyond their understanding.

At this rate the whole discussion becomes a huge argument that goes on and on forever. Who has the time once a child is affected to think of all this?

I firmly believe that although there are some benefits in the medical practices of today in matters of immediate relief and surgery, the medications they are giving are flawed with too many dangerous side effects.

They have so many instances of drugs that had to be withdrawn (remember thalidomide) - yet they tout their research!

Don Davis: If vaccinations were to disappear overnight a horrendous surge in deaths and crippling polio and such would happen.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: It is the new complex vaccines that are creating complications. The earlier simple ones are still good; only the diseases are mutating. This cannot be the final answer. Better focus on the causes and preventive care if this is possible.

The Medicalization of Ordinary Life. Gadgetry is fine but it is also becoming too much of a good thing.

At best we can say the technology that helps in cases where self healing is not possible is a great help. For instance in a car accident or a burn; the service that an emergency and trauma centre of a proper hospital can give today has no equal in history.

This knowledge of understanding the body's needs by the signals it is sending has now been totally overshadowed by dependence on gadgetry; this does not bode well for the human body.

But all the modern processes/gadgetry that have helped have also shown excessive misuse and are hurting too in a big way.

There is also an accepted fact that there is an extensive Medicalization of Ordinary Life. 50 years ago when a child fell down and grazed his knee, his mother would wash it, apply a simple ointment or something and let it cure itself; today it results in a rush to the hospital and often an anti-tetanus shot and a huge bill.I am not sure that this is really so warranted.

Death and how we take it here in India and other more intellectualized countries.

There is also a matter of attitude. We mostly would rather depart quietly and come back with a fresher mind and spirit when the going for the body is impossible and obvious that there is nothing much to be gained by prolonging life. Clinging and saving lives is not so important in our way of thinking.

Keeping people alive by all means fair and foul is not in our philosophy and that is how we see the intellectualized societies with their highly technologically advanced methods of medical help doing things.

The scientific community has brainwashed the world into believing that there are such things as safe and significantly safe levels of harmful products/activities and even treatments are being touted with this mindset.

I simply don’t buy it.

Even a chill can cause pneumonia and kill. So if something is hurtful one has to accept that it is so and protect oneself against it. That the body has the capacity to tolerate it is altogether another matter.

Damage is damage and the capacity to damage is the moot point here. Often it is these triggers that get coupled with other triggers that create an avalanche that the body collapses under. So it is a grave error to see things in isolation.

Take for instance radiation that we are subject to in modern living and in medicine.

Admittedly the radiation we are bombarded are considered safe in isolation.

But the Wi-Fi in the park +Xray + Mobile + microwaves + electrical fields + chemicals + pollution + stress (etc) = to something worth worrying about.

The idea is to reduce as much as we can. We should all study and make a concerted effort to reduce the effects of all these in our lives.

I believe that the body has all the knowledge to heal and maintain itself properly if it is provided all the elements needed.

What these elements are is the big question and answers are available if we look for them.Besides, technology has made many products readily available so that there is really no reason for anyone to suffer from deficiencies.

There are many products I advise people to take because they can other wise not know what to do to obtain all the nutrients in the right form:I have used and depend upon even today on Horlicks - first class drink for all occasions without burdening the system.In India I have seen the advantages offered by Complan Protein milk-whey mix for children and convalescing people - easy to make and takes care of most needs in a simple affordable package.Multivitamin supplements - helps everybody; simple to take and portable enough to never miss taking it.I advise the use of protein based diets for immunity boosting and development in growth and convalescing periods; I have found Protinex- Hydrolyzed Protein for vegetarians and others who cannot afford otherwise.Our age old Chyawanprash is beyond compare. But some manufacturers are not making it correctly and adding too much malt and sugar to make it more palatable.

We can always blame the rat race for our pursuits.

I opted out of the rat race and took the road of self-fulfillment. Broke all the rules of our society by not joining into the family business, by not getting married at the age of 22-24 and living for (read as: under the control of) the family. Health care was a serious issue. I never had the money for expensive treatments and doctors. I was lucky enough to have uncles as doctors I may add so it wasn’t a great issue. Insurance was and is still unknown. This put the onus on me to take care of myself and I did this by study. A lot of energy and income went into books/travel to learn about life and contentment.

This has resulted in 90% less sickness in our family than all the people around us and they do wonder. Even my maid asked once – “You people don’t go to doctors?”

I think that that too much money and insurance does make one weak in spirit. We start depending on the system rather than grow as a person.

I have shown that by judicious selection and avoidance of food, medical assistance and activities we can still live a full life in these modern times. But that would also mean a simpler and less burdened life-style and often living with simple pleasures.

Why complicate life anyway?

I have seen many people in France taking medicines because they are provided free from the state. They are not getting better but it helps them forget in the immediate their pains. I prescribed some changes to a family and they adopted it and felt better but later said they could not afford it! (But they could afford everything else thru credit cards!)It is so sad that today after knowing these friends of mine for 40 years, I find that one was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, operated upon, resulting in serious complications and after 6 months in intensive care, died. The suffering he went through was unbearable for me to see when I went to visit him. The friend’s wife went down with a full stroke that even took her speech away. She now lies there helplessly; sure she is being cared for in the most beautiful way but I think this kind of illness should not happen at all and I think it is possible to achieve this if we are a little more careful in the manner of how we live.

The joke is on the choices we make. We rarely know when to stop and be happy with our own selves. The effort that should go into learning goes into showing off. It is a skewed balance. The big question is how can this be corrected?

The same can be said for any other discipline of thought and behavior because the character of the mind operates in the same way.

We are helpless they say...

When talking of good health and medicine, I am now realising that we are wasting our time worrying about others. Certain bad attitudes are picked up, promoted and often followed for a life time. These habits and practices are so inbred in certain communities and families that nothing can really be done. They live at a level of unawareness that is stupendous. To somebody like me it is positively criminal what they do with their lives but it has to be underscored by the point that it is none of our business.

There are a lot of factors like lack of education, income and social practices that curtail but the “will” also is lacking. Being satisfied with a little relief is all this mass of people is aiming for.

They are fodder for the system and go to slaughter willingly. I suppose we can just watch and feed them little tidbits of info, with the minimal hope that perhaps they will pay it some attention.

The maids that work for us, for example, in 20 years, I have not been able to make them understand any of the little things I have tried to teach them. They prefer to spend small fortunes in illnesses by going to "Doctors" with established big successful looking clinics.

It is impossible to make them think in terms of better nutrition or even supplements or something like simple wearing of clothes in winter. We try to help by giving them things but still there is this feeling that nothing is registering and there is no real willingness.

Two years ago her 20 year old son had pleurisy and is forever sick; it is so heartbreaking but we cannot help because their pride won’t let them listen.

Their attitudes are determined by certain thoughts like:

- We may be poor but we are living well and we know what we are doing.

- Sickness is happening to everybody.

- It is our fate.

It is the focus on imposing our minds on the body's working which is at fault. Why this need to invent new drugs & change the chemistry? We are also too much in a hurry to intervene surgically. Why not put the energies to understand how things in our body have been working till now and evolve methods to support it?

I agree that the scientific process is not at fault. But the process only follows our minds; which is obviously at fault.

What can you do when people abdicate their right to use their intelligence and minds?

Let us, for a moment focus on the superficial way of looking at things. What is stopping us from looking, researching deeper? Nothing really, except our inherent inertia and laziness. The superficial world gives us enough gossip to feed our free time and occupy our minds. We feel we are knowledgeable and “IN” with life. We are happy to imagine ourselves connected and in touch with the inanities of our times.

Today’s driving force is the media. The media jumps at some exciting things and splashes them all over. It makes and unmakes people and things in an unnatural way. Given the power it has over people's minds; just imagine the good it can do. It is so sad to see all this good power going to waste – being used to promote itself and more superficialness and false images.

We ALWAYS know more than we are ready to accept; both about us and others around us. Evil intentions are acting out around us yet we hope that we shall remain untouched or when we let our propensities loose rein we hope to go unnoticed..Don’t forget, the Universe is noting everything and everything is being registered in the Karmic Diary.

There is a huge sub conscious pattern deciding things for us from behind the scenes in which our egoistic and selfish side influences all our decisions and attitude. WE do not see it and refuse to recognise it but we are in a dim way aware that there are some influences in all of us that we call moods at work. This is precisely that a Yogi, who has decided to go looking for the Self, begins by becoming aware of. Thru this it is possible to discover all the hidden elements that influence our being - and we eventually realise that the things we call "I", really is just a butterfly that will soon be gone - a chimera.

Let them be. Really; let them be. Just do not get pulled into their vortex. Don’t become them but don’t treat their lives as questionable either. If you have to be with them, BE. Just be and nothing more. It is their planet and we are guests. Live like guests. No faulting and comparing with our “Higher & Better principles”. No uppity thoughts to mar the pleasure of the situation. Simply ride the waves and be cool within. Don’t get unnerved, don’t be critical; just make the best of it – happy to have their company.

Do you feel that their ways will hurt them or lead them into disaster? Then instead of getting angry at all the stupidity around you, just remove the sharp objects from their path. Let them bumble along; happy in your company. Contentment is already theirs. Why perturb them and lose our own centre of calm? For verily, they are children, given unto your care.

Chapter 2

Humans are a complex mix of emotions and thoughts and few really understand themselves. They are quite like leaves in the breeze with very little idea to where they are precisely going. But still their pride in their “understanding” is no less.

Let’s be careful about the atmosphere we create around ourselves by our thoughts, emotional reactions, people we agree to be with and activities we agree to take part in. The vibes can infect and one starts resonating with the others.

The latest illness seems to be Relationship Fatigue.

Too many changes in friendships; too little effort to find common grounds. Too many new ones and break-ups at the same time. Too much in contact all the time through internet & telephonically.

No charm left and no newness. Nothing is a mystery and nothing left to explore.

The worst: Little alone-time, no time to let our Soul speak to us, no time to ruminate or/and complete the experiencing effect.

+ Bad living habits are tiring the body as well.

And it is not that we don’t really understand. It is a regrettable part that when our emotions are aroused we soon slip into our primordial mold. Francis Bacon said something like: We think according to fancy, speak as per our education but act by custom.

We all agree but when it will be time to act.....will we manage to keep control - those of us who revel in argument & showing off?

It is a truth that people feel comfortable only when they can fit us into their known dimension.

People with a small sphere of action, especially at the mental level, can rarely see beyond their noses

And, of course, what they don’t know or immediately see within their minimal field of view does not exist. Anyone talking beyond their field of "knowing" automatically becomes a charlatan or disturbing element.

Their judgmental tongues can be very harsh and depressive - I often wonder how human they are?

People first build strong, impenetrable walls around them, then pride themselves on their exclusive problems and show themselves off as "virtuous" who are ready to try everything and that they actually have.

These are big mind/subconscious games people play with themselves. They are not looking for solutions.

I am amazed at the amount of trouble and pain we are prepared to bear to prove we are better and different.

Take a reality check by observing its continuous laments about the world around it.

The mind cannot "accept" that it does not need to know nor understand and correct all the faults of this earth.

The mouth may not be voicing it out loud but the mind is always, even in sleep, talking to itself monotonously. Most of the time, it is a stream of judgmental comments disparaging everything and everyone around it; going in circles over and over. I have given a name to this: The Lamenting Syndrome.

Why do we do it? There does not seem to be any need of it. It serves no purpose as experience soon teaches us. It is always the same lament but maybe in a different setting. Do we like complaining? Does it make us feel superior? Why are we not able to let bygones be bygones? Is it that our sense of hurt needs to punish the perpetrator? Perhaps it makes for a good excuse to push our own agenda? Perhaps it distinguishes them as special with greater problems than others and see: how well and better they cope - the saints that they are!.

We are so busy putting an indelible stamp of greatness on everything we do that we forget we have to live with the aftermath of our decisions and acts.

The tragedy is that people, who have choices, do not exercise their right. Most humans are too lazy to teach themselves, nor do they wish to learn about anything and prefer the cosy assurances of dubious "qualifications" if the packaging has been good. They choose to abdicate their life into hands of others and then cry "foul" when things don't go according to their wishes.

Whatever gives us this illusion that doctors, priests, counselors, teachers, superiors, parents, friends and all are always working and will always act for our best?

The truth = Everyone is basically kind but they have their self-interest uppermost motivating them. And they may not even know what is the best for you. But they always know what is best for them and this is always the primary “raison d’etre” of their behavior.

I think intelligence is the bane. Most intelligent people are the most stressed.

They simply see all the faults around them and take it upon themselves to put them right. Then blasting others and being at war with the world becomes their life-job. Primarily because they use their acute mental powers to see and focus on faults; this also happens to be the perfect method to “unsee” their own faults and they soon get convinced that they know best. They become overbearing, inflexible and like to punish others. They also take it upon themselves to ram the right thoughts down the throat of others.

There is also another side to this which is cleverness and cunning; something that we see in heavy doses in the Indian psyche and in most of the other parts of the world lately.Economic consideration supersedes all others. Mistrust is in the air and hearts and there (I must admit) are good grounds for it. Insincerity in thoughts, speech and acts is practiced openly but no one is fazed.

I am coming to the point that I feel like keeping a camera always in hand - so that I can record every conversation and meet. People are blurting out words they have no memory of a few minutes later.

Otherwise people make commitments and unmake them with no sense of untruth or cheating niggling at them.

How did this - Wave of thought that “I” don’t need anyone" ever come to spread on this earth?

Your personal decisions are in-built into the fate’s working.

How you judge, decide and act at any given moment is not so preordained.

Our prejudices (idées fixes) seem to have a greater hold on our life than fate – it seems to me. Most of us judge from a very superficial point of view and lose more opportunities than we create to better our condition. Most often we are thinking linear and single-pointedly – which means that we have just one wish on our minds and once that is taken care of we have lost interest in that person/situation. No way to know what could have been.

I firmly believe the need to be in control is coupled with excessive and continuous non-essential speech & action which is one of the reasons for exhaustion - even biologically (leading to fatigue-induced illnesses)

They say “It is all encoded in the genes”

Don’t agree - there is a lot of “samskar”( psycho-psychic influences) involved and that could be called genetics of the subtle kind

It is really one way of avoiding life. Everybody (who as Confucius would call "superior") is talking about how all solutions are in Love, how perfect and Divine we are and so forth.

This becomes the perfect excuse to not do anything, bask in our own glory and laze in our inertia.

The subconscious does not accept change readily or easily; rather will fight back tenuously. Whatever be the awareness of the conscious mind. At the surface level we may even end up deluding ourselves that changes are being made. Real change happens only when the subconscious is reprogrammed. It is another world and few really want to grapple with it.

Nobody is blaming the subconscious. It is there - it is a matter of recognising its presence. This is the first step. But who is interested? The situation is comfortable or bearable enough so we plod on.

We can talk of "transformation" of our nature or just of change - deep or superficial - and you are all of you right in your way. Even minor rearrangement of our premises and conditioning can make great changes - even at the waking mind level. There are so many obvious little things that ask for change and if we work on them, a lot of relief and change is immediately seen.

All those things that normally give us "life" and pleasure, can also turn out to become "a little bit too much" for comfort.

We can easily go to an extreme by oversimplifying. To the extent that false can seem true and vice versa.

How this tendency can make us lose view of our reality is a great study in itself.

For instance in management circles, there is a view that: The Good manager has to be somewhat ruthless. This in turn later becomes a license for terrorising employees and not worrying too much about their sentiments.

Everything in this universe and also our tiny personal world is moving towards a continuum. Too much intensity of thought-desires or desire-thoughts can only block what would have happened naturally otherwise.

Although focus is necessary, halts and repose are too. Good or bad are perceptions; very personal in nature. Products/results obtained through intense desire are always faulty due to the seed being contaminated with our limitedness.

The food industry is a wonderful example. Food is eaten for what? Nutrition would be the answer technically. Then why is the focus on taste? Because we asked, nay, demanded it.

We have oversimplified our attitude on the basis of this old saying: the proof of the pudding is in the eating! Because the focus is on taste and that is what finally sells the product.

So the marketing people put their heads together and came out with products that taste good consistently- are packaged for long shelf lives and ease of use. For instance yoghurt: When made at home there is always a chance of its not coming upto mark even with all of mother’s lifelong experience; there are so many factors like temperature and time etc to take into it and no surety. But the yoghurt we buy that comes from the factories is consistently good and good tasting. Why haven’t we asked ourselves how this can happen?

For one, because we don’t care. The taste is important and we get value for money. The question of wholesomeness simply never occurs. We satisfy ourselves by saying, that with regulatory bodies, respectable brands behind the making of it and the whole world eating it, it can’t be bad.

Another oversimplification is based on the notion: If I am feeling well then it is curing me.

This is again an over-simplification of major proportions which no-one is prepared look deeply into. The great medical fraternity has a plethora of magical potions that give instant relief. And the illness? It goes merrily on multiplying quietly under the skin on its way.

In the process we have actually complicated our lives. Free from the burden of worrying about cooking and head-aches, we now indulge in activities that go a long way to break our peace of mind and stability of body. What we have done to environment we are living in our quest is another thing altogether.

50 years ago, a relative from the interior of Rajasthan desert had come to live with us. She was aghast at the amount of water we were wasting. She was used to living on half a bucket of water daily. And here we were using more than a bucket just to flush the toilet.

Today with designer bathrooms and pressure pumps and designer showers, one person uses as much water in one shower bath as much as some people get to see in a year.

At the other end of the spectrum these same people talk of equality & a better world and other nonsense(s).

We cannot forget that we all come with different abilities and destinies. Let everyone contribute his might. These notions of equality and dignity of labour etc have only upset the natural balance and given the clever ones to enslave entrap the lesser endowed into their nefarious net.

Humanity is not ready for humaneness, leave alone honesty

Mostly oversimplified observations become a crutch for the humans and serve well as good excuses.

For example: If some is good, more is better.

I see oversimplifying as an activity of a mind that does not see the larger picture – worse – does not want to!

Life does not, unfortunately come in clear cut simple black or white. There are not only shades of thousands of grays but also many other colors.

I happened to come across first this morning the old saying“The road to hell is paved with good intentions" but with a remark added: then where does the road with evil intentions lead to?"

Good question.

Then on continuing with my reading of the newspaper I came across the news of the Indian Diplomat who has been accused of beating his wife. We have been inundated by his misdeeds in the media. Nobody is asking for his side of the story. Finally his side of the story is that she was the one who got physical first. She got hurt when he tried to ward her off.

Another recent story is of a guy whose car got brushed by another. He went into a rage and started thrashing the other driver. The other driver tried to drive off to save himself. The first driver fell and broke his rib which punctured his heart and killed him.

Something happens and we go ballistic. Amour-propre, our need to be the centre of the constellation, requires that the other be hurt back and hard. All our education and self-control goes into the garbage can. When the spirit has decided to hurt, then all circumspection and concern for future implications also gets thrownto the winds.

Now comes the question of why some people not only go out of control but let themselves go out of their senses too?

The first casualty is propriety. We forget the attention we shall draw to ourselves and throw caution to the winds about everything. Our only desire at this moment is to attract as many people to let them see how much we have been wronged. All our normal self-control on what we are doing and saying and repercussions are lost in our avenging mood. We abuse and accuse – we falsify and lie and want absolutely to put the other guy on the wrong lame foot.

At the bottom of our intelligent heart we know that we are creating a situation where most probably to save his honorable skin the other guy will apologize and we could make some hay out of the situation too. We are intelligent enough to know that others will believe the guy who cries loudest and if it is a woman even more so. We are clever enough to know that people will believe the worst. If the interpretation of facts is plausibly couched and packaged then mud will assuredly stick. An average person may not be very savvy but understands very well that Proof/Evidence is very difficult to come by and to disprove or even prove next to impossible.

The abusive personality is nothing new. Wherever people feel they can get away with, this has happened; in personal or professional situations.

I just wonder why suddenly the numbers of cases of this nature are multiplying and it is happening all over the globe; there is vindictiveness in the air. The undermining of somebody’s persona always goes with the hope - I may even say obviously, that it will in comparison aggrandize our own. One thing I have observed, there is an element of cunning always involved and to this is added a lack of maturity which in today’s parlance would be called low Emotional Quotient; people who have suddenly acquired some status but have not had the pleasure of seeing much of the world outside their own family and locality tend to be easily drawn into these raging controversies. The self-importance and value of their virtues is inordinately & disproportionately high.

The person who quoted that travel enlarges the mind and spirit had a very serious point. Education that comes from being with others from other statuses and cultures has nothing to beat in terms of education and revelation. It is only lucky people who get these gifts in life. This is when we realize, although a little reluctantly, how small, ordinary and often obnoxious we really are in the arrangement of things in this world.

Comment by Richard Penney

Ref: "The person who quoted that travel enlarges the mind and spirit had a very serious point. Education that comes from being with others from other statuses and cultures has nothing to beat in terms of education and revelation. It is only lucky people who get these gifts in life. This is when we realize, although a little reluctantly, how small, ordinary and often obnoxious we really are in the arrangement of things in this world."You have brought to our attention a serious problem afflicting the whole world. Even more since the world is so tightly connected. You in India, me in the USA and most of this group spread around the world. The media sells trouble, brashness, immaturity, and bling. If one were favorable to the doctrine of Karma and re-incarnation, it would seem that old enemies are coming back to do battle and the game is to do the most "personal damage" they can and the hell with the country or state or nation the aggressive individual/group is from and the group that is being reviled. Since we live in an age of the "Personality" it seems that the group represented is not a factor and the personality is a barbarian, only aware of their own wants.As an aside, one writer stated: A "barbarian" is an individual always moving as an individual operating mode "MINE". A "tribe" is the first interconnected group and responsible and working only for the tribe. Their operating mode is "no change!" "Civilization' is a group of persons acting more or less together to bring about a better life and possibilities for everyone in that city or state or nation, the operating principle is that of giving a little individually so everyone gets a lot.The problem we are seeing and experiencing appears to me as the "tribal" being led by "barbarians" to the detriment of "civilization." In our western countries we have let the members of various groups retain their tribal allegiance while enjoying the fruits of the civilization they now want to make the same as their tribe ethic. Not only ethnic but political "tribes" lead by 'barbarians” are running rampant and doing their best to gain and stay in power with the nation being way down in their priorities.As individuals, many of us do some introspection to aid our growth, but too many only work upon their "image."Respectfully~Richard

Comment by PK(Pradeep maheshwari)

Couldn't agree more. We are a confused lot. I like your point that old enemies are back. It is an occult fact that in the metaphysical world, certain forces that were in control suddenly are not sure and they are trying to create situations to regainhold on the fears of people. Stop the opening up and make the people go back into heir shells of fear and tribal ways.

They act/work through people who are yet to individualise their minds/wills but have access to powerful tools; like guns in the hand of children.

Chapter 3

To better take care of ourselves we need to know and understand our fears and the psyche behind the obvious curtain.

Fear of being forgotten is the biggest fear.It is also the most natural thing and like death, an absolute truth.Yet we forget at every moment that we are already forgotten and mostly remembered when needed for some reason by others on this earth. A momentary episode - soon to be forgotten.Our greatest fear is of being forgotten.I go into the park and am accosted by a bench that screams in huge dark letters "In Loving memory of Mrs S K Sharma". Now who is SK? Is that the name of the man or the wife?In the temple all the fans have some such tag "donated by....in loving memory of...". I ask the priest why these self-glorifying tags are being put there. A gift is not for self-advertisement. And he says: How does it matter? The fans bring relief to the visitors and if the person is pleased with himself for donating a fan, why not let him?! A good point.Who ever remembers anything?All the photos we take that burn holes in our hearts that we rarely go back to look are gathering dustsomewhere.If no one is remembering then why this focus on gravestones and memorials and statues that no one connects with?

The stupidity or/and understanding of life by the average human is spot-lighted by the concept of the Grave-stone. We just won’t let go! We all feel we are worthy to be remembered and that generations after ours will have any memory of us just because a grave-stone stands out like a sore thumb.

From thesuperficialnessof things, I see this as a charade andexercisein social relations only to be seen as a virtuous and responsible member of society. We all know that soon all those who have lived with us will pass on and our images will not be carried on by the new generations; yet we try so hard to end up as a plaque somewhere. The dead willneverknow and have really no reason to care but thelivingwant to make hay from every instance they can.

Let's never forget that we are simply passing through. And that makes everything fall in the right perspective.If you can leave something behind that all can benefit from and that is all. Let us not be afraid of being forgotten; how many remember us when alive?

Saying sorry and ending quarrels with any apology is good advice.

Success as humans understand in life can be a prominent Ego-boosting factor and that results in the person getting attention and regard that would understandably keep his Amour Propre a little inflated.

So this doctor has an argument from another resident at the resort mainly because the doctor was hogging the space in the catering area and this irked another fellow holidayer. This other guy loses his patience waiting for the doctor to move but the doctor was oblivious of the presence of the other. So, of course, words fly.

Later on both these people are sitting out on the lawn and the other comes to the doctor and says sorry. But the doctor is not accepting the apology offered as he feels he is the injured party. He is glum and refuses to engage saying that he is not good at expressing himself. There is visibly some impediment in his speaking – he is not opening his jaw fully - which would have added to his self-consciousness and the two sentences he does speak indicate that he is not very strong and at home in the language either.

This is my point of view on the situation:

An offer of apology is offered but the doctor is not prepared to accept as his indignation has yet to die down. He feels that he has been denigrated in public and that his image has been defiled, something that he is not at all used to. In normal life, people run after him and treat him as a virtual god who can take or give life. To be shouted at in a place where he has paid good money to be is beyond his level of acceptance. Particularly as he feels, that he was within his rights and has done no wrong. He is a “somebody” after all.

The doctor has been shouted at in front of his wife and that is simply what makes the pain unendurable and he can come to terms with this situation only by thinking of the other person as a lout. Even a hint of self-fault is beyond the pale as this would mean compromising with his state of being wronged. He is glum and sulking. It is not easy to move from one state into another simply because the other party says sorry.

I put the blame squarely on the doctor. His focus in life has been to acquire a degree that will give him a good source of income and status in society. Nothing at all else. He has not paid any attention to his language ability, learning about the mannerisms of the strata of society that he now has the privilege to move in. His focus is and has been on himself and what a grand guy he is. This is, as I see it, a one way ticket to laying open to ridicule and in a milieu where he is quite simply another holidayer and the status there is of no consequence as all those who have paid to be there are of the same value. The doctor needs to change his cloak and adjust his behavior accordingly.

There are times in life, trying times and others maybe at fault certainly, but we need to understand this and accept that people are not willfully hurtful, generally speaking. Learning to come down a peg or two, accepting one’s errors is a sign of a mature personality and unfortunately this is not always in evidence. It is very important to let bygones be bygones as soon as possible for one’s own well being as anything else. Then here is no doubt that the doctor is forgetting that his is in a place where all kinds of people are bound to gather and all with the same authority and rights. The doctor is not exclusive whatever image he has about himself in his own mind.

Coexistence is a fact and sooner we learn to say sorry for our mistakes the better and we should be even faster in gracefully accepting an apology and keep a smiling and normal façade; that is the least we can do.

Here I may mention that it is surprising how often we let ourselves get irritated and speak out in indignant anger before trying any other approach.

Would it be so difficult to live together?

We give lip service to the destruction of nature around us. We are so raging angry too. But then we continue to support and enrich the Corporations by buying their products and services and make them stronger to pursue their agenda. After all the protesting in the street, you will see most people will go and buy a tin of Coke/Pepsi. If we do not learn to live with less & Nature, the Corps will swallow us like sitting ducks.

Water is wasted. Electricity is wasted. We are buying products made abroad when our own neighbours go without an income. We need to promote local business and friends and family. Enrich them and you enrich yourself. Food is wasted to the tune of 30%. Uselessly powerful vehicles are wasting and polluting.

The answer is thoughtful consumption. Credit cards and easy credit should stop.

The economy will find its natural balance again.

The Corps are doing well because we are supporting them at the individual level.If we can travel on common roads, undergrounds, planes and buses, why not bring our collective living a step further?!

The secrets that we carry.

Suddenly in this modern age Stress has become a bug-bear. Do you understand De-Stressing?

Not just the physical ones like noise and ticking clocks. A very deep penetrating query that crops up is that of the philosophy that makes us tick. I read that in the times of the American Civil war, there were basically two orders that the confederates knew. GIT READY & GIT.

This I feel is the elementary thought and motive behind our way of living and tackling life with a slight modification in modern times: GIT & GATHER.

We are at any given time busy in making ourselves ready to “Git” to go out to “Gather”. It is unending.

Even when our needs are met, we simply cannot stop because it is not needs that power us but our habits! We go to “GIT & GATHER” like trained circus animals because we know nothing else and there is definitely some pleasure quotient in there somewhere.

The opposite condition would require too much going against the general trend and cooperation from the world comes only when we are scratching each other’s back. So I am not complaining or trying to teach anyone anything but the fact remains. I do ask: Can we GIT with restrain and Gather without greed?

From a humorous angle I would like to bring up this serious matter: April Fools Day is the happiest day of the year. I think intelligence is the bane. Most intelligent people are the most stressed. They simply see all the faults around them and take it upon themselves to put them right. Then blasting others and being at war with the world can be such a tiring job. I suppose there is some truth in the thinking that the fools are the happiest.

What happens when books and lectures are written and given is that none wants to raise any controversy so a non-committal stance is always taken. This results in a lot of words but the essential remains unaddressed.

The stress that is affecting us has its roots in the secrets that we carry. The secrets that are ever there in the background but have to be hidden away as they will have to remain secrets by the very nature of their character. These secrets have to remain unspoken because as we soon learn from the world and its way of working, certain thoughts and desires will never be understood by others – rather if we are not careful we would end up being misunderstood and misjudged – mostly in a bad light as humans are wont to always believe the worst.

I will give here some possible instances in a man’s life. Think about them. Does anything like these rankle in your memory even today and creates a dissonance in what you really do and what you really do not want to do but do. All those tiny little things that worry you & disturb you, go against your grain but you are forced to shut them out. This is the cause of stress really.

Let me delineate some scenarios–

- in school you were blamed for something you did not do like spilling the paint but as you were the last seen by a teacher in that place it was assumed that you were responsible. Nobody believed you.

- In college you came late or the match and you were blamed or losing the game. Nobody would believe that you were stuck in a jam and had no other resources to come faster. You were even ticked as irresponsible.

- Your first lady love got upset because she was told by a third party that you had been seen with another lady. She never talked to you again nor gave you a chance to explain your side of the story. You are still dreaming of holding her in your arms.

- Later on in your job you did what your boss told you to and you got blamed for the mishap.

- You don’t agree with many things at the company you work with or at home with your wife’s attitude and habits but you keep mum. It rankles and disturbs continuously but you keep the jar tightly closed. You are under great strain to never allow even a hint of your thoughts to become apparent. You are living a lie and forced to show that you are enjoying it all.

If you take the above story, you would see that deep in your heart is embedded the fact that you would think more in terms of protecting yourself from the vagaries of life and never give your 100% in anything be it work or personal life. This in turn creates the problem that if you don’t give your best, you will not succeed in your goals which you know that you are capable of.

This is a continuous stressing irritant coming onto you from your own self. But once you can understand it, see its action and come to terms with it, you would be relatively freer from the memories.

Then there is the possibility of alleviating stress like we take pain-killers for pain. The steps are:

1) Shift attention to something else like painting or playing badminton or table tennis or something which requires you to forget everything else for that moment and exercise you too.

2) Meditate on the factors that are giving you he stress and resolve them within and without you.

There is one simple self therapy: De-stressing through painting =

* Awaken to your unique gifts enabling you to unleash the REAL you

* Remember how to express yourself from within and flow with creative process

* Begin to create without demand or planning

* Feel more confident about yourself and your capabilities

* Learn to listen to your heart and start to live accordingly to what is there

* Return faith in yourself through the acceptance of who you are

* Paint your dreams and allow them to manifest for you

* Liberate from the blockages of ego and fears.Here are a few words to meditate upon.

Step out of your comfort thinking zone into the intuitive world. Start living as an Original - Every act and thought to be purely based on your own studies, life and experience. Sincerity should become your guiding principle. No “should have, would have, perhaps” or "Is this quite right" to bother your cognizance and acts. This is the first step.

I can safely say that 99% of us live most insincerely: totally untrue to our soul.

Two can play at a game. This business of kindness.

Everyone admonishes to be kind. Let love and compassion shine forth through you and all that. Fine. I am happy to see that we have at least graduated to think of kindness as an attribute to cultivate. When I look back at the psychological state of humans in the Middle Ages, not to speak of many cultures which are still suck there, we have to give credit to humanity for opening this Vibration into our thoughts and lives.

Kindness already exists in us. Just see how people behave when their interests are in play. Show someone that he has much to gain through you and you will be overwhelmed with kindness, attention and solicitous gifts. You will also see these gifts evaporate in a whiff of smoke the moment your tap tends to dry up. The other side of the coin is equally prevalent. Humans will be sarcastic, brutal and sadistically hurtful if they feel their interests are protected by this action and specially so if the other party is in no position to defend. Then, considering the degree of helplessness, the vehemence varies.

Unfortunately I wonder how just speaking about it will help. We are made of dual possibilities. Most of the triggers are deeply imbedded in our subconscious and directly activated by the Cosmic Forces.

It is absolutely undeniable in my book that the conscious mind cannot really control anything as instinctive as the need to show-off and vindictiveness.

The bitterness that erupts in us also corrodes the body and our health from within.

I am quite clear about how to bring about change in human reactions. We have to inculcate this concept in children when they are still absorbing without judging and then the subconscious will act as its own witness and put on the brakes when needed. We need to inoculate the children against the thoughts of hurting by repeatedly repeating to the child that hurting others only brings revengeful actions and reactions and that this hurts them back in the long run. This philosophy should be in their waking consciousness at all times.

Unfortunately our examples leave much to be desired. And let us cut out, with immediate effect all the show of violence we are subjecting our children to and encouraging them to play at it as if it is alright. We are doing the opposite of what is so ardently required.

There is much to be said to instill the idea like: Two can play at a game.

There is no certainty what & how the trigger to a feeling will happen. In our hidden corners are memories and images that make us react in funny ways. So First let us learn to look within, take a little more detachment in our stride; it is easier said than done.

So I repeat my earlier statement:

Everything has a place and normally speaking is in its place. It is just the cruelty aspect. We can always be more humane and avoid killing wherever it is not really part of the natural food chain. Why be unkind, careless or abrasive just to prove a point that you can afford to be so and there is nobody who can touch you in any way. If this is not an exercise in arrogance, what is? The same philosophy goes into everything for example: bringing up the child. Just don’t be cruel because you can be and are in a position to be.

From a Facebook friend, Jo-Jo Tiger -

Who gets cross first? When two people get angry it is easy to blame the other. Who picks up the anger? Who owns the anger? Does another really provoke the anger? Or was it there all along? Does it matter? Can it ever be solved? Or, does it take one person to just walk away? Does that diminish the anger? Where does it go? What heals it?

My reply

Anger has basically roots in Amour Propre whichever way you look at it.

We creat a set of standards for ourselves and then measure the rest of the world with it. All those who do not meet the standards meet with our derision.

Anger comes when we feel we have not been given our due consideration, respect and other things; what irks most is like being taken for granted or ignored etc.

It is often used as a deliberate tool to show displeasure and force others to fall in line otherwise the threat of our displeasure hangs in the air.

Quite often anger is a camouflage to hide our embarrassment when we know we are in the wrong but cannot accept and we use anger and bluster to confuse the issue.

Often we have underlying hurts and we are looking for revenge and any excuse will do.

Anger is not good. But it cannot be allowed to fester either so therapists say let it come out but this cures nothing and is a good excuse to let it be.

In the professional field when irresponsibility can mean loss of material, means and life, the situation warrants anger; specially in a team when a recalcitrant member jeopardises everything. The captain and leader my have no other recourse but to show his displeasure in no uncertain terms - very particularly when he has to shoulder the blame.

In certain groups where legalities do not allow freedom of action, such as families, bitterness & anger creeps in easily when some members wish to take advantage of their being there to the detriment of others. Again here they can only grin and bear it but explosions of anger are logical conclusions.

Anger by itself cannot be managed. It is only when with wisdom we realize the impermanence and the relative importance or non-importance of things that we start taking life with a pinch of salt and our reactions change and we start looking at anger as beneath us. Anger fizzles out slowly from our persona when our amour propre is way above being pricked by these petty things.

Chapter 4

Learning Values from the growing up process

The great day is here. My baby is now seven years old and her birthday is three days away. She is old enough to want to have a proper party – whatever that means. As fashion would have it, she wants it in a reputable place like a swanky mall, in a fun place like McDonalds or Nirula’s at least.

But she met some resistance in her father – that is me. I see no reason to throw away good money so that my child can “follow” the trend set by her rich friends. My philosophy is that we should be sincere with our thoughts and feelings and act according to our Spirit’s voice on what is “acceptable” and I thought this is as good a moment as any to make my point.

I think it is a grave mistake to convert occasions such as these into a show of the social & financial status of parents – giving a wrong idea to the child that there is a flow of unending funds available to indulge in. I think Paris Hilton was allowed to fall into this trap and see where it has got her.

So I told her, that she is welcome to invite at home the few friends she plays regularly with. Birthdays should be personal matters. Partying outside the home in public places will come when she is older and can do so unsupervised and all on her own. And although I shall be there to do everything she needs, she would have to take the responsibility of organizing, selecting things and coming to the market with us to make the purchases.

So here we go. Since last two days it is long stretches at the shops selecting balloons, return gifts and discussing prices and possibilities. I have surreptiously used this moment to slip in info about good and bad food items. She has set the menu, decided on how the place is decorated. The cake is a big source of indecision but we shall be going to the bakery today and taking a final decision.

She wrote, colored and made the Invitations herself. It is a lovely project with lots of arguments with her mother on the fine points. This is getting to be great fun among us three. She is not only learning the pros and cons of things, but learning to discriminate and shop but most of all, learning the value of money and how best to get the most in life from it.

This exchange of experience and attitude was my primary intention when I put down these few words.

I see that we humans tend to "lecture" but rarely lead by example.Francis Bacon had pointed this flaw in humans long ago when he said that we think according to fancy, talk according to education and act byhabit.

I feel that most parents have too much money and guilt.Very few, as I see, take time out to guide their kids.

They are showering their kids with whatever they ask under the pretext of doing the best for their child which in my opinion isprecisely the opposite.

The child needs the parent's presence and their values to make a life and character of his own.

We talk of lack of integrity, corruption and irresponsible behavior but we do not see that we are the ones promoting it.

In the professional and personal field this lack of commitment is becoming obvious.

Should we use the heart or the mind in relationships?

Too much of one or the other will cause dissonance.

Today’s life which is based on Mother Nature at one end and Applied physics/chemistry at the other (etc), it is no more a matter of heart or mind.

Use both but follow the mid-path. The problems arise when we get stuck in one plane of existence and behavior patterns.

I'll give an example: Take for instance a senior executive. At the office he has to be brisk, inventive, ruthless and manipulative etc. He is in this mode virtually all the time of his waking life due to the technology that makes him available and connected.

(Unfortunately for most of us, we end up being surrounded by some such atmosphere for most of our life and we then fossilize into it)

When he takes this same attitude home and is unable to switch to the persona of husband, or father or both at home - his relationship is doomed.So it is obvious that he needs to develop not only his IQ but also his EQ and both of these need to work together + the ability to control which of his persona he shall project forward.

It is greatly needed that people learn to change stance to accommodate the limitations of the other person with whom they are interacting.

Very often a particular persona gets firmly established due to the life/professional environment one moves in for a long time – in certain cases a whole lifetime altogether. For example a banker, a shop keeper, a teacher, a soldier – these then can be virtually be tagged by their looks, dress, responses and the way they carry themselves.

To add to this mélange you need to also take into account your amour-propre and its interference which is insidious and hardly ever recognised.Don’t tell me that thoughts of “What is in it for me” do not enter your head whenever some interrelationship in personal or official situation comes up. It would be so saintly and unnatural if you said yes.

Happiness is self-deceit in motion:

But then I am here to be meaningful – to shake things up a little and I will not sugar-coat my thoughts.

We need to go below the surface into the hidden occult world and study the subliminal minds where the actuality of our lives resides.

Suddenly this subject has come up and again I am forced to reflect upon the self-deceiving images that humans live by.

How many people really question their motives and wish to grope into the darkness of the shadowy part of their beings? We actually run away from this as if the plague was after us not realizing that until we do this examination, the light won’t shine through and the fog won’t lift.

The question is what drives? The need to feed ourselves, the need to protect ourselves from the weather and the need to procreate.

In between there are episodes of love for other things and people that make us creative and happy.

We start by giving birth.

Soon the child grows up and puberty hits. Today from the scientific angle the hormonal and mental changes flowering in the young people is well understood. But understood or not, they are still in command and they are strong enough to carry away the young people with them.

Philosophy, Media and literature and social norms have tried to instill values of Regard and Respect that should be the motivators in all relationships but the truth is the human only sees this world as a platform or the culmination of desires.

For example for a male, the most beautiful female of the species is the one who permits him to approach and caress her. Everything else becomes secondary.

In the women the need to procreate takes supreme hold and the likeliest buck becomes the most attractive and a relationship is sought ardently.

The frontal cortex which is the thinking and reasoning mind goes into hibernation.

In today’s human society’s make-up this leads to disruption on a grand scale and everything else would have been acceptable but the problem of a live child/baby becomes virtually unsolvable – and here starts our story.

Education and idealism is fine but it is rather disruptive when not in alignment with reality. To 99% of the men and women, till the age of 21, it is not the values only of people that are important whatever we may have drummed into their heads. The need to fulfill Mother Nature’s commands is almost supreme. A little relaxation in supervision and the two sexes will find moments of togetherness with calamitous results.

No amount of philosophy, Religion or the understanding of Biology will help stop it.

These young people know exactly what is going on but are helpless. They may explain it as “love” but we all know that it is the primeval energy at work. Sugar-coating it with idealistic notions is of no real worth.

This is the state of human affairs just now.

This is the reason the world is in such an ignorant mess.

Otherwise where would be the need of the Vedas & Upanishads and all this conversation?

To most male of the species, women that would like to see “woman” as a goddess of love, the reality is this:

Most women have nothing of greater interest to offer than the small pleasures of married life and most men do not have the wisdom to appreciate anything much more than that even if the women do have it.

Nobody is stupid. Marriages still happen but what is it that is happening at the back of their minds, specially at the subliminal level?

The men know that they cannot run after a new female every moment when their hormones get activated so they speak of “love” and divine graces; trap one and enjoy their lives. This is the best of both worlds. The woman becomes a glorious servant although the men have to accept them as equals. But then some arrangement can always be worked out. This is unfortunately the bare truth. We are all pretending. Relationships last more by habit than deep seated affection

The women are no fools. They know that their only value is in their charms and they need to make the most of it when it is at its peak. The female form is imprinted into the male’s hormones and it will do its job in all conditions. So they trap in a good provider and the illusion of a loving family is arduously maintained. Real affection does develop eventually but it is quite in the rarity.

The only good in all this is that both men and women, although they start in relative ignorance thorough hormonal needs, learn to appreciate each other’s values and love and appreciation grows. This is what makes it all worth the while and when all is said and done it is discovered that the journey was the yogic route of our lives towards a higher state of consciousness.

Unfortunately there are some who never mentally allow themselves to grow; due to circumstances they are able to exercise their brutish desires/wishes and mayhem ensues.

Conclusion:

I am talking of the human race. This division of them by sex into two separate species as one coming from Mars and the other from Venus is indicative of our limited-sightedness. Absolutely ridiculous. The elemental Being is the same. We need to rise above this. This is where Consciousness and Understanding of the evolution of humans etc comes in. The greater good will happen only when the mechanics are understood.

It should not be seen as an argument. That is a waste of powerful energy. The egoistic & opinionated stands are what create these problems. Step back and you will see a wider picture of things and mentally mull over all the possibilities of a situation. Go behind the words and shut off your judgemental side.

Whatever I said or say is never in derogatory insinuations. Human kind wants to see itself as a superior, developed thinking race. But it is not really yet so. I suppose it is not polite for me to say so. But then I am here to be meaningful – to shake things up a little and I will not sugar-coat my thoughts.

A note from a fellow traveller:

Life is unjust. People are unreliable. Mature people are a rarity. Impossible people are disguised. Words are senseless. But whom do I tell that. You will only say now: Another one who has learned a lesson.

On the question of educating (“teaching") the world:

Every generation has to be re-taught from scratch. This is the world's enigma. All the secrets I have gathered will die with me. Some words may still live. But the live vibes and power that I have accumulated will go into the box with me.

This is why we can only live our life and spread the seeds of caring and kindness, show the way by example but "teach" we cannot. And change comes with difficulty.

Chapter 5

This is a sign of His Grace and perfect to prepare oneself for Bodhisattva

I came across this beautifully written article (see the end of my note) and got thinking.

I have had the good luck of being raised, living in an Ashram as well as a very “Difficult” family, infused with the feudal autocratic spirit of many generations with arrogance, impatience, irritance as the main characteristics of those in control; and as everyone tries to be in control so there is complete mayhem at all times.

The faculty of “listening” does not exist – the ones in control have no reason to and the others out of desperation simply don’t want to.

So I was thinking and it struck me as a thunderbolt that these people would be far happier with a dog! And that is when the switch clicked.

I have always been wondering on the fact that Indians love keeping dogs and used to think this is something that we picked from our British masters of yore.NO. Now I can see this is due to our natural tendencies of being “Difficult”. We are just not designed to live with each other humans. But a dog is perfect. It does not question and adores. It considers you supremely endowed and always correct. And that is all our elders want.

The dog then becomes not only our pride but also our “style” and our alter ego.Would you like to know my attitude to the whole business of living with “difficult people? -

This is a sign of His Grace and perfect to prepare oneself for Bodhisattva

*continue reading article... http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People

How to Deal With Impossible People...

Most people know someone who seems to make every situation toxic and impossible. Pointing out that that these people are difficult and demanding won't get you anywhere, though — odds are, they don't eve...n see a problem. Whether the issue is caused by a personality disorder or some other underlying issue, here's how to navigate interactions with impossible people and preserve your own sanity.

Handling Conflicts

1. Resist the urge to be defensive. Understand very clearly that you cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible" for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.

2. Accept the situation. Impossible people exist; there isn't a thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing reality: if you think you might be dealing with an impossible person, you're probably right. When in doubt, proceed as instructed below. The headaches you save will be your own.

3. Do not call out the other person. Bluntly stating the problem will not improve your relationship with someone impossible. Instead of reaching a reconciliation, he or she will likely just become more difficult. Recognize that you can't handle this like you would any other personal conflict — it's a special situation.

In some ways, they need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion about the status of your relationship with this person. Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against a brick wall.

4. Understand that it's not you, it's them. This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of shifting the blame. Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault.

Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake.

That being said, here's a simple way to tell: if you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember, impossible people "can do no wrong."

5. Remember to "detach, disassociate and diffuse." When you're in the middle of a conflict with an impossible person, use this strategy:

Detach: Staying calm in the heat of the moment is paramount to your personal preservation. Spitting angry words, reacting with extreme emotions such as crying, will only stimulate them to do more of the difficult behavior.

Disassociate: Remove yourself from the situation and treat it with indifference. Do not, under any circumstances bad talk to their face or to anyone else because then you are sinking down to their level. Add something positive by redirection such as by focusing on something, anything, positive in the situation or in the conversation. Whatever you do just stay calm!

Diffuse: It can help to realize that the side of a conversation that contains the most truth will always win out, and it's best to "name the game" that an impossible person is playing, usually by asking them or the group a question that starts "Why...," (rephrasing their "impossible" position to illuminate the consequences). You will move the conversation to a higher level, and the group, or even just the impossible individual, in a one-on-one, will respond to this "higher truth," although the individual will usually respond by (more) obfuscating.

6. Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your anger is actually a precious gift to the impossible person. Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five years from now, you could be hearing about the angry remark you made today (which you didn't even mean in the first place). Impossible people will seize anything that provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.

7. Prepare for projection. Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all) of this behaviour yourself. If “your” impossible person gets a look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you. Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's flaws and failings will always be attributed to you.

Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything! They will have an endless supply of arguments to support this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they will be more than happy to tell you why you are the impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the mistaken impression that it is them.

In the guise of story telling, influenced by movies/TVs – soap operas and violent action, I have seen patterns changing in our behavior and social norms.

The scenes and storylines have been getting more and more open, flagrant and vulgar in the last 50 years. The parents and the public never spoke up - rather lapped it up. We are now reaping the "entertainment" that our youngsters have enjoyed and learnt from.

The people are accepting titillation. Society wants chaste people but horny atmosphere/milieu. Don’t see how?

It is easy and almost always in their arrogance, adults forget that for a child there are no “known” factors. Their consciousness is not yet formed and their grasp is limited. Even we told them, most of what we have to say would be beyond them anyway.

When we lose our temper on the imagined misbehavior of a child we are showing our own immaturity and animalistic stupidity.

The question is do we have what it takes to be the people we want our children to be?

First we make the mistake of thinking of kids as tiny versions of ready made adults. For God' sake, these are newly formed babies and we need to nurture them - not bash them up when they displease and disturb us.

Our own behavior is totally insincere and non helpful. Just imagine what the children have to go through to live in a world of adults that is beyond their newly developing comprehension of this world in which they have been thrown in.

Spanking a baby is like spanking your pet parrot. Utter confounded stupidity. This is where violence becomes acceptable as a tool for punishment and embeds itself in the subconscious. Shouting will beget shouting. Any and every adult knows this - try it out in a bar!

Hugs. tickles, and cuddles are the heavenly doses good nurturing requires.

Most people stay away from their children because they are not yet ready to immerse themselves in the child's growth. They are themselves still growing. By the time they realise what is what, it is too late.

The question is - are these people mature enough to have children? In life today as it is, some brakes need to be applied. We need license to teach, drive, repair pipes but none to beget children which we are in no position to nurture and we make guns and other lethal things like cars available to them without restraint.

The PARENTS are squarely to blame. All the adults in the village are to blame. You can’t keep on shouting the F word all around the child and then expect him to remain celibate. What the child has been fed on is what you will get out of him as the final product.

The best way to impart lessons of discipline is by behaving correctly ourselves. Example and making the child expressly notice and understand the principles on which we are behaving. Backed by affectionate and loving disposition, the child soon learns that this is the way to go.

Friends Ron Head and Deb Boundy posted this quote and then this is the conversation that ensued.

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children. - Khalil Gibran

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: Here I am totally bowed down in front of my child, trying to make her laugh and drying her tears because her mother laughed at her

Deb Boundy: Ouch, one should never laugh at a child, except in sheer delight at what they are.

Jules Shores: Was the laugh meant maliciously? Perhaps a mother sometimes needs understanding as well when they laugh innocently at a silly thing, even when a child is being serious, in some cultures a woman has the same status as a child or has been reared to believe so.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: It is sad that children are treated as miniature jokers - this is the level of maturity of today's adult Homo sapiens.

What point in rationalising Jules? Just enjoy the story. For the child it is a momentous point. But I explained this to the child using the moment to wisen her up by saying "people will be people- some will laugh at others. Some do not always understand. Let us forgive Mummy”

Deb Boundy: True Pradeep, we learn from the hurtful stuff, whether it was intended to be hurtful or not

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: Precisely

Jules Shores: well Pradeep we seem to be blaming mommy for tears and perhaps mommy did not intend to make tears.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: the intention does not change the child's way of looking at it. Mummy is not being blamed. The instance is being used to make the child understand the vagaries of this world.

Jules Shores: forgive mummy says it all.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: There is a constant quarrel going on between the child who is growing up and asserting itself and this is part of the fun of the relationship.

In the eye of the hild, “mummy” has done wrong. The child is too young to understanbd complex philosophy and psychology so I feel let us leave it at “forgiving”. The child needs to learn to forgive and forget. In later life it helps to maintain sanity.

Deb Boundy: I wonder if we really can learn to forgive without the "blessing" of maturity and introspection. We often only begin to understand our parents when we become parents ourselves.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: The seeds have to be sown in childhood on the temperament the child will/is developing. The child mother relationship is too strong to be hurt by a little teasing - if it is based on deep love and regard for the child - which it is here. The child has now learnt to tease, so she must also learn to know how others feel when she is doing the same.

Deb Boundy: Of course children think about what's happening, there's no magical line across which we suddenly step one day and become adults rationalising life. It's a gradual process of becoming, and we're all constantly growing and changing in our understanding of others and ourselves (or hopefully we are).

Jules Shores: wish I’d said that, but the fact is most kids live in the moment.......they have no choice and when a parent tells you to question the other parent, well there's a problem.. not with the kids, which so abundantly becomes the issue, but with... the parents and that is sad.....there is a reality line and the fact is some want to see it as a birther/parent thing, but I see it as a moment when we all need to think about the child.

Deb Boundy: But, as I understand it, this wasn't about questioning the other parent, but about trying to help the child understand that the teasing was about love, not about ridicule. It was promoting the relationship rather than trying to tear it down.... If it really had been malicious teasing, then I'm not sure that trying to convince the child otherwise would be a good thing, but to help them understand where people are coming from is as we all have to deal with strange behaviour from others in this life - lol

Goodness, I bet Pradeep is wishing he'd never opened his mouth, we're analysing his parenting skills now!! So sorry Pradeep, I'm not going to say anymore :-)

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: Oh I can take it like a big boy Deb.

If it had been malicious teasing I would have given a sock in the mouth to whoever it was and encouraged the child to do the same. She has to also learn that bullying exists and we are there to help her fight it.

Teasing is part of the fun and my child understands it.

I get terribly annoyed when other adults come in between us when she is teasing me. They immediately sensor the child with remarks like: You can’t talk to your father like that, Don’t show your tongue to your father, You must show due respect your father ....... what nonsense. I tell people off squarely to leave me and my child alone.

Deb Boundy: Lovely :-) Sounds like you've both got a great relationship happening. Makes me smile a really big smile :-D

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari: It is magical.

The Woman as a comodity. Let’s face it; whatever the words we may use, this is in actuality what she is for the world at large. It is ironic that we cannot be without her and we can’t value her either.

To the male the woman is a means to an end. Women will fume at reading this but if they wish to rise above this station, they need to understand this. See what King Henry did to his six wives in England. See what the Rajputs did to their widowed women - known as the practice of Sati. See what the Shariat laws permits to Muslims in the form of stoning women to death.

An extra word on Sati: Although Sati became famous as practised in Rajasthan, sacrificing the widow in her dead husband's funeral or pyre was not unique only to India. In many ancient communities it was an acceptable feature. This custom was prevalent among Egyptians, Greek, Goths, Scythians and others. Among these communities it was a custom to bury the dead king with his mistresses or wives, servants and other things so that they could continue to serve him in the next world.

My own thinking is that it was more to remove claimants to the rights and property of the dead man + rid of a useless woman in the household who would be another expense and responsibility.

It is a question of the Mind-set of the feudal male who was given rights over his possessions. Something like the situation that was common before the French revolution. The Muslim mind went ahead and became even more anti-life. Fearing its own virtue, or lack of it, it blames everybody else for tempting & corrupting it.

The torture and misbehaviour - I have seen it happen here in India where large swathes of people are still under the sway of these mind-sets. We are sadistic and barbaric where we are sure we can get away with it (we are intelligent enough to know that others may not always approve but most often society keeps mum).

Can you believe that a woman can get so tired of life of living in a room with a barbaric husband, enduring torture of all kinds day and night out and with 6 daughters, that she finally pushes her eldest daughter towards her husband one night to know some peace.

And believe it is not only the males who push the envelope. Mothers instigate them. Mothers in law make it possible and pursue the torture too. Perhaps paying back for all that they themselves received or whatever. But it is a mystery to me - of the Female Psyche.

There is also a power play at the most low level of human animalism. The man wants sex and has the physical power. The woman knows her power over the male and uses it in the way she knows how. But most often she reads the man wrongly. Her sulking and non-cooperation exasperates the man who gets physical and the woman gets vocal. Big Bang ensues.

Then there are property laws and greed connected with dowry aspects to look into + often the desire of the man for a new woman in his life. If the woman has to go then obviously an excuse has to be found. And they normally it is conveniently found.

It is complicated and we cannot forget that the female of the species is designed to be at the receiving end.

PS: I need to clarify the term psyche. I refer to the god-given propensities; the basic elements that make a woman a woman - this is universal. Then there is the Conditioned psychology which is different from area to area/culture to culture/education to education.

Remarks on this quote: The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

~George Bernard Shaw

What Bernard Shaw is saying is that quite often and I would say from my own experience - that it is more often than not- we "Think" that we have done a good job of communicating our thoughts to another but this is really not so.

I am in marketing and the prospectus I make for products sometime gives quite the opposite reactions to those intended. And this is in writing where the person has the option to read and read and confirm to himself what is written.

In life most of our communications are through talking. The words come and go in a fast stream. Our minds may not be fully focused on what the other person is saying; in fact it rarely is. Most people are reacting to some of the words heard and already thinking of the reply rather than listen to the other fully - then give oneself time to assimilate.

The whole process is faulty by its very nature. Then once the thing has been said, the moment is gone and our memory may interpret the words we have just heard in umpteen ways and create a message that was never intended. This is how gossip and rumor works.

How many people have minds working precisely with focus and pin-point sharpness? Most of our lives that we live are basically an illusion in this sense - not only our communication.

What we hear, see, feel, smell..... all these faculties are sending inputs which are interpreted by our minds which is always under the influence of our subconscious and we normally end up interpreting all inputs in very (extremely) subjective ways - rarely in its 100% purity.

Very few people really ever get the opportunity to get directly affected feedback in their lives. They speak and do and life bumbles along. Very few people even understand or are aware of this point that Shaw has raised. Their language abilities are limited and are totally not geared to convey thoughts correctly and precisely. Then they rarely make any effort to improve upon their abilities because they are never aware of their faulty lines of communication. (Even if they realise it, they would rather expend their energies in proving themslevs or arguing so that they do not have to graple with reality)

Leave alone all these points, the very fact there are special course for languages, speech and properly deliveries etc goes to show that there is a lack of these faculties in most of us and there is need and space for improvement in all of us.

In my recent travels one truth dawned on me. In this world of today, I also saw what was wrong with me.

I need to be shorter and clearer in my sentences to be effective. It has become even more imperative than before to be short, precise and clear cut. And I would add even more selective in our choice of engagements. Make every word count and not miss the opportunity when it comes as the other party may never give us another chance.

My friends at Nice (France) and I were discussing the need to "prendre de recul". The discussion was mainly on the point of the lack of breathing space that is not being given by people to themselves. The TV, Computer and Mobile keep the mind engaged and in top gear at all waking moments. This is also creating heavy neurological stress and is showing in the forms of sickness. Mother Nature had put sleep as the "RECUL" in our lives but people have reduced their sleep time. The mind is occupied with many folios at all the time and juggling with many different personas at any given time. A certain amount of disorientation and fatigue then has to be. It is very easy for the mind to snap under all this stress.

I must at the same give kudos to those who are able to carry on at the pace they do. The load on the physical body is great. The nerves are stretched to the limit and I see people going on and on for what, as it seems to me, a life time. But in recent years I have seen too many cases in my personal circle of people cracking under the load and it is not easy to feel comfortable about it at all. And I am not talking of rage and irritable outbursts or even mild heart attacks.

Most of the cases have ended up with paralytic attacks. In two cases, the loss of speech became permanent. One of them was my guardian in the Ashram. He was a stickler for accuracy and a perfectionist; always at it with little room for compromises. The same attributes were in the second case. So I wonder how much of this attitude is good for our health. It was one of the most despondent and sad sight to see such a wonderful man laid low, unable to express himself and in pain due to it. The second case, more recent, was equally poignant.

Often in our focus on our personal goals we travel with single mindedness that makes us miss the scenery.

We not only side-step issues that we should have tackled but we often trample on the red carpets being laid out for us both by providence and friends. In our drive we only tend to interfere with our own lives under these conditions and may even block certain "happenings"(happy ones mostly) that are ready to happen from happening.

This has left me with a distinct impression that most people are living with too much vehemence. One of the signs that I see commonly is in the long speeches that get going at the hint of a word from another. Rarely listening to the incoming input. Cutting people off in mid-sentence to say their piece by often reacting to the first words heard; making communication, specially the kind which requires explanations, very difficult; the stress on being heard too high. This is not only sheer waste of physical strength but also makes it stressful for others to communicate thereby creating a very strained situation indeed.

It is as if they are putting all their strength to remain locked up in their box. Anything outside their own field of view and their little ordered lives apparently is unwanted and easily disturbs them. Who does not wish for smooth sailing in one’s life but to expect this at all times is rather premature and the worst one can do is to vehemently will & push to put life back into order as seen/known/wanted. Keep the view short and sweet seems to be the aim.

Misunderstandings and recriminations then become stone walls. Personal and professional relationships can easily go sour and the resultant disruptions in our life can bring more tenseness. We really need to learn to take a step back once or twice every day. It is not enough to think of yearly holidays in the guise of relaxation where we go and stress ourselves out more. It is imperative to log out for half an hour or so a day or even for a day or two every now and then. It should be made part of our medication which we take so seriously. And if we can, introspect a little and see that it is our self-centeredness that is in action and hurting only us. To this also maybe added a few thoughts to our pretences, snobbish pursuits and insincerity in our dealings; a delectable witches’ poisonous brew.

This is the advice given to me by a friend:

Dear Pradeep, You cannot desire something, predominately focus on the absence of it, and then expect to receive it, because the vibration frequency of its absence and the vibration frequency of its presence are very different frequencies. - Your desire and your belief must be a vibrational match in order for you to receive that which you desire.”

When did you last do something for the first time? Aren’t you letting yourself slide into old age both in mind and body?

So what’s new? How was your day? If you have crossed 30 and are soon reaching the hard worked point of being established, are you plagued with a sense of déjà vu? Waking up in the same bed, in the same room surrounded with by the same faces and the day then follows a very predictable pattern. Everyday begins in the same way, with a very definite program already set in place as if there was nothing to do but to slog on, ad infinitum. Ours not to question why but to do and die. All the effort gone into establishing a life seems to have resulted in a sordid boring routine.

It seems that the bed made, now leaves us no choice. The past cannot be erased and the present is upon us with unbroken regularity and its emphatic demands which are indelibly linked to the past and the future refuses to be juggled with. The same faces and the same work beckon us to the daily grind.

How did we end up here?

Nothing gives depression like living sensibly and more so doing it by other's expectations. Just introspect how often you are living by the dictates of your soul and how often by helplessness to the vagaries of this existence? Have you ever felt depressed with the futility of it all?

Have you ever asked the question – Why depression at all?

The mental and emotional conditioning we receive is our enemy. Many fixated ideas become the basis of the foundation of our lives. The stance we take because of our likes and dislikes and of what we think right and proper are all millstones around our neck as well as being the milestones of our lives. What an enigma! These sense of values come to us from our environment, upbringing, education and society. Yet some guiding principles and rights are sorely needed otherwise we would never know where to begin. Unfortunately the in-built rigidity is also the cause of much of the pain life inflicts on us and on all who come in touch with us. All the wars and havoc perpetuated by humans on others can be traced to this. But, truth is, this is how the human animal matures. Mother Nature is a teacher first, a pampering Mother only second. Of course it is depressing. But if this element had not been there, there would be no evolution.

At the individual level, there is an inherent need to progress and go further on the evolutionary scale. But given the mental capacity and character endowed to us by Mother Nature we have only a limited scope for movement. Then to this, Destiny adds elements like the limitations of the environment as controlled by parents, elders, teachers, family, friends and opportunities etc. By the time a young man is ready to launch himself in life some parameters and choices are already set as imposed by life with only limited options if any; such as the general goal to earn a living and then have a family which is equated with happiness. Of course the individual at a younger age can’t see many other options and perforce finds himself in a cyclic flow of things rarely in his control. The ego and vanities also play a very big part. With age parameters change and the choices diminish even further.

Soon the individual finds himself trapped, frustrated and depressed. He is left adjusting to everybody around him who has even the slightest power to disrupt his life and is incessantly in the compromising mode. Keeping the status quo becomes the main effort in life. The life around is constantly rearranging itself while the individual fights to maintain his place in the order of things. The ego asks for its penny worth and is forever complicating the situation. This creates an anomaly of gigantic proportions which only grows bigger with time.

Depression comes when we realize that we have entrapped ourselves. The anomaly is that at one end we are not content although we understand the situation and at the other end we are just too lazy to take the step that we instinctively know we should take. Pride, prejudice, rational justifications and crass inertia keeps us rooted. The change that would ensue is just too much of a major move. A life put together so assiduously cannot be allowed to crash down. Oh, the effort and energy that human beings put into fighting against change!. We subsist on hope and pray intensely but selfishly, have long discussions but rarely take the initiative. Eventually Mother-nature and Destiny play their cards and do what has to be done. There is then a lot of hurt and anguish but life at least finally moves on.

So where is the solution? The solution is in the understanding that life is a creative process and this process is on and flowing like the river. You cannot swim against it so you must learn to swim with it. People need to upgrade themselves constantly. You have to consciously work to improve yourself. Let the creative juices flow. Let other vibrations other than your fixated ideas and egoistic stands come and flow through your home and environment. Don’t be afraid. Read new authors. Learn a new trade. Take up some hobby like Painting, Photography or Music. Go away into another dimension for a while.

Such people are never depressed. Mentally they have tuned themselves to the idea of newness in their lives. They are ever young. They go through disappointments like everybody else but outgrow it as if overnight. There is always another sunset to go out and see. Not only imbibe this spirit but give this gift to your children.

The answer is obvious: Keep in touch with the past but keep the eyes on the future. Let go. Older candles will burn out. Light new ones. You can go to the same house of worship all through your life but every time it is a new candle that needs to be lighted. I have seen an advertisement which asks the question “When did you last do something for the first time?” It is in my view a most profound question and needs to be addressed by all of us with immediate import.

Chapter 6

Preventive medical living is a subject that is hardly popular except for drawing room gossip. I am a great believer and regular practioner of certain habits and practices that I strongly believe and am sharing here.

FASTING AND FEASTING in our cultures and lifestyle.

Fasting on festivals and other days of religious significance is not new to Indians, which makes it a practice of everyday occurrence and is deeply embedded in the Indian psyche. Fasting indicates the denial of the physical needs of the body for the sake of spiritual gains. According to scriptures, it helps to create an attunement with the Absolute by establishing a harmonious relationship between the body and the soul. But there is more to fasting than this.

Every religion has a festival connected with fasting. Hindus fast on several occasions like Navratras Shivratri and Ekadasai. The Christians fast in Lent. The Muslims have a whole month of Ramzan dedicated to fasting.

If we go back into history we shall find that fasting has always been a medical tool. It may be given a philosophical or religious connotation but this could be more due to the needs of the day. An ignorant populace could not be taught, so it was easier to include fasting as a regimen into their rituals. The wise leaders of earlier times did exactly that.

The underlying principle behind fasting is to be found in Ayurveda. This ancient Indian medical system sees the basic cause of many diseases as the accumulation of toxic materials in the digestive system. Regular cleansing of toxic materials keeps one healthy. By fasting, the digestive organs get rest and all body mechanisms are cleansed and corrected. A complete fast is good for health, and the occasional intake of warm lemon juice during the period of fasting prevents flatulence.

As the oldest, fastest, safest, least expensive and most effective method of removing unwanted weight and also toxins; scientific fasting helps you stay slim, healthy and vitally active, while breaking addictions. Further, it will increase physical well-being, mental clarity, and sexual virility. In Plato's words: "I fast for greater physical and mental efficiency."

Fasting is a great instrument for self-discipline too. It is a training of the mind and the body to endure and harden up against all hardships, to persevere under difficulties and not give up. According to Hindu philosophy, food means gratification of the senses and to starve the senses is to elevate them to contemplation. Luqman, the wise, once said, "When the stomach is full, the intellect begins to sleep. Wisdom becomes mute and the parts of the body restrain from acts of righteousness."

Finally, the pangs of hunger that one experiences during fasting makes one think and extend one's sympathy towards the destitute who often go without food. In this context “fasting” functions as a societal gain wherein people share with each other a fellow feeling. Fasting provides an opportunity for the privileged to give food-grains to the less privileged and alleviate their distress, at least for the moment.

Our state of health is clearly shown by the mane on our head. Let us pay attention.

You have about 100, 000 hairs on your head. They protect you from extremes of temperatures and cushion the head in case of injury. It is also, as we well know and are extremely conscious of, our crowning glory. A very important part of our looks.

Hair is mostly a kind of protein. Each strand grows, rests for a time, then falls out and is replaced. Hair grows at about half an inch a month, more slowly with age, and falls out most in the autumn and least in the springs; don’t worry when you find strands stuck in your comb.

The hair, like every other part of us, depends on good nutrition and good circulation to stay healthy. It is a vital indicator of our general health and chemical analysis of hair is as potent an indicator as blood tests. A vitamin A deficiency results in dry, lifeless hair and often dandruff. The protein Keratin is the main component of hair; therefore a shortage of protein can result in hair loss. Specially in vegetarians or food faddists who do not eat balanced diets. B vitamins are extremely important. These water-based vitamins tend to be generally deficient because they are easily washed out of the system. The fault may be in the cooking methodology or intake of drinks like tea, coffee or colas. The B vitamins that are especially associated with hair color are folic acid, choline, pantothenic acid, paraaminobenzoic acid and biotin. A deficiency of copper can also result in premature graying. Hair loss is often associated with lack of amino acids and B vitamins. The minerals calcium, copper and iron are needed for strong healthy strands.

Since vitamins and minerals are interdependent and work together, they are most effective when taken as part of a good diet. For instance, the vitamins mentioned above will need vitamin E, C, the entire range of B and zinc in particular to be absorbed and utilised by the body. For a lustrous mane, therefore eat whole grains, wheat germ, brewer’s yeast, liver if you are a meat eater, plenty of fresh green salads, raw and short cooked vegetables like the Chinese do, and fresh fruits properly washed to remove any residues of pesticides. As a general recommendation, we can advise the use of Homeo Biochemic salts, which are available in all homoeopathic medicine shops. If possible include seaweed formulations in your diet, such as spirulina.

If your hair is very oily, cut out refined and fried foods. Dry hair often signals not only a Vitamin A deficiency but also that of essential fatty acids. These are found in nuts, beans, seeds, whole grains, green leaves and unrefined oils. Your hair is throwing out matured cells all the time. This may be dandruff or mistaken as dandruff but it may also be dried shampoo. So make sure.

Antidandruff shampoos contain strong and powerful chemicals which can irritate the scalp, and so does hair coloring. A last rinse with acetic acid or synthetic white vinegar is advised. While we are on the subject, please avoid taking the same as food.

It is not enough to have a good life, we are compelled as well to show it off and a little flab does it well or does it?

We all dream of the good life and then go for luxurious living if and when we are able to achieve our dreams. The first casualty in this pursuit is the lack of all movement except for brushing one’s teeth and starting the car. A whole lot of our good earned money in good eating and soon we realize that we are gaining weight.

Unfortunately there are so many other weighty things on our minds that require immediate and undivided attention that weight watching becomes the least important topic of all. The catch here being, slowly and gradually, without realizing, one day we wake up and find that the woman or man who was earlier so attracted to us has started paying court to somebody else. This takes us straight to the full-length mirror and what we see there leaves us aghast. This is only the good part of the story. There is also the possibility of aches and pains that when explored more minutely with the help of our doctor, come out to be a series of complications that need to be attended to without delay.

One way or the other, it is disaster. The body is asking for its pound of flesh. It clearly signals that it has had enough and all the misuse it has suffered has now to be paid for by thinking lean. So, the clever human brain takes a shortcut. It childishly concludes that the culprit is the extra fat. Anyway the dreams cannot be put on the backburner so the fastest and most convenient method is soon found, no matter if it kills us.

When will it become clear to us that we cannot cut the branch we are perched on?

Here the fat burners make entry. It is a fascinating concept that all we need to do is pop a pill and all is put all right again. A marketing ploy used by sellers of these products. The truth is also quite bitter that once the fat has accumulated on the hips, it is very difficult to get it off. Drastic dieting makes one sick and weak. Exercising was difficult to incorporate in one’s life style anyway. So giving fat burners a try becomes doubly more attractive. The bitter truth is that nature moves at a pace, which does not change. Any movement or activity that fights this pace is going against this basic principle and some tear and damage is absolutely certain - Damage serious enough to even be fatal.

The vast majority of fat burners are simply garbage. Their marketing is the only thing scientific about them. The side effects could onset hypertension, increase dramatically the higher side of blood pressure, then the blood and give you insomnia. All these could eventually make you irritable and intolerant and intolerable.

Calculate for yourself the harm this could do to you health-wise and life-wise. A continued regimen would certainly make a mess of your nerves. You would end up having shaking hands or sleepy eyes. Your focus and attention will waver. Try driving with these symptoms and you’ll certainly end up having a losing argument with a tree or pole.

One thing that could safely be tried is a combination of light food, some exercise and a very small dose of appetite suppressants which what these fat burners really are – coffee is as good as any. Take a lot of juicy fruits and vegetables to offset the symptoms explained above. The best fat burner is in your mind. The thought behind your wish is the most potent burner ever. To help yourself, educate yourself a bit. Do not follow any regimen blindly. If you have any ailments such as diabetes and blood pressure, do discuss the matter with a good nutritionist.

We have only our selves to blame.

What after all is Cancer? Is it an illness that can be cured or is it an aberration that is a Fait Accompli? Finally, even the medical fraternity is beginning to accept that Cancer is a Life-style problem in which the fabric of the body has rotted.

The body is under pressure from all the elements, habits, lifestyle problems, genetics and even medical interventions. It has a basic equilibrium which is easily destabilized and it has certain limits that are easily crossed. It is in a continuous process of renewal as well as movement to serve and does whatever is asked of it. Some of the demands are scaldingly unreasonable. Sometimes it complains. The complaints will show themselves in the form of sniffles, sore throats, aches, cramps, constipation and other predispositions like asthma and allergies. It does its best but sooner or later things go out of hand and there are more serious complications like typhoid, diabetes, hypertension, jaundice etc. Not to forget “age” which adds on another dimension to the pressure every day.

These are the early signs of things going out of hand. When the chemistry of the body is overwhelmed certain symptoms which are very similar to the common everyday symptoms become regular companions. Sniffles, sore throats, mouth ulcers, recurrent fevers, long drawn out coughs, skin problems that do not heal, are all indicative that the body is under threat and not really being able to cope.

These are the warning signals we would do well to heed. In the long run, when the dam collapses, you can call it cancer or whatever you will but the point of no return has been reached. Even at this point of no return certain things can be done. There are cases in which the body fought back, given the external support it needed. But it is useless to think of cancer as a disease with a definite cure. When the body is breaking up, all it needs is assistance to fight back and its own curative knowledge will do the rest.

The best thing would be not to let it reach this stage.

Left to itself and to its devices the body has a very active consciousness and it would grow old but not sick. The modern medical practice is virtually based on the assumption that the body is a stupid mass and without the intervention no cure is possible. It is a very unfortunate aspect of life that every treatment the modern system of medicine thinks up is highly invasive as if based on the philosophy of curing the disease and killing the patient.

What the body needs is nutrients and ingredients from which it can make its own compounds and eliminate from its surrounding all the irritants that are breaking it up. See these elements as stresses and conserve all the energy you can. Speak less. Run around less. Worry less. Avoid agitations of everyday life like traffic, noise and negative people. Move to less polluted surroundings. Surround yourself with soothing music, colors and weather AND people. Live in a clam cocoon with the mind totally at peace with itself. Withdraw totally and absolutely. If there is any vitality still left in the body, it will bounce back.

Life flows on. Something, therefore, it is to reason, carries it along; Like the perennial river. Wisdom dictates that we swim with it not against it. But do we?

Think, consider and meditate; do you virtually exist in a straight jacket of sorts, bearing abnormally high levels of strain and blocking the flow of the CHI. Stagnation of the Chi is results in mental blocks and sick conditions.

The Chinese who were and still are very close to the movement of the Chi, knew everything about it and the art of Acupuncture and Tai Chi developed from this insight. What then is it?

Chi is the life force that flows in nature. It is akin to circulation of air in a dwelling. Where there are no windows, there is darkness and suffocation. Similarly when the body remains in a stationary position, consumes only limited produce in exclusivity, lives a life with limited motivation and ideas (more often than not - prejudices) a small hard-core, mothballed individual begins to evolve.

Tai Chi breaks this block harmlessly and with little yet pleasurable effort. All one needs to do is to take time out to go into Mother Nature’s lap for a while. Try to stop talking and listen to one’s inner being or at least just be silent outwardly. At the same time with eyes half closed, begin to concentrate on the your body and start moving your arms and torso, hands, feet, legs and head in a flowing motion that is circular, non-ending. Keep all the joints a little bend so that there is no indication of rigidity. And go on and on; slowly and without jerks - One movement effortlessly merging into another. With your body trying to merge into all the possible sources of Chi that may be coming from the earth, plants, trees, air and from all the directions. Imaging yourself in the center of a swirling flow of Chi and you tapping into it.

I mention going out into nature. But though it is desirable, when not possible do it at home with the windows open and possibly facing the rising sun. If even this is not possible, just forget everything and get on with it.

Soon, you will begin noticing at first a greater sense of being awake, more stamina will be at your disposal, sniffles and irritants will bother less, blood pressures will ease, diabetic conditions will never go out of hand, asthmatics will tolerate the surrounding better and best of all, your family will respond more affectionately for the simple reason that you would be doing the same. From the monetary angle, your attitude will help in making your business associates feel more comfortable and safe in your hands. You’ll do better in presenting your cases and this in turn will open new doors for you.

This was what you were after in the first place anyway, is it not?

There is a flip side to it. Will you know when to stop and not get back into the trap once again? Why Don’t We Ever Learn?

The capacity of the human race to ignore everything but its own wishes is astounding. Don’t blame me for being cynical. Everyday the news media throws up a story or two which makes me wonder at the stupidity of it all. Yet it never seems to stop. It is as if the human race is not a group but only unconnected singletons, living in isolated boxes with not even an invisible silk thread to bind them. Millions of people living alone together.

Today we have a problem of information overload but it does not seem to penetrate deeply enough into anyone’s consciousness to make a change. When will we learn to apply all this info to our lives and make them better? Let me site an example or two to make my point.

Let’s take the so called “POOR” to discuss. Millions are being spent by generous governments to alleviate poverty. But has anyone asked the poor what they are up to? Why can’t they see around them that they have only brought on poverty on themselves and a bleak future on their progeny by multiplying even when there is no income to support a family? For hundreds and even thousands of years it is obvious to anyone who will “SEE” that producing more children has done nothing for them and only brought misery to the next generation. Why has humanity never stopped itself? It is so obvious. Why do we continue having children even when there is not enough to feed and clothe in the immediate present and the near future?

I am noticing that certain people are so used to never having eaten fruits that eventually they dont even relish it and refuse it if offered. We are busy fighting the wrong wars. Humanity's demonic and Devil-may-care attitude with disdain for human life is apparent in all decisions and activities. The industry and financial institutions are doing what Hitler could not and on a vaster scale - with tacit approval of all.

Go and talk to a beggar or an unemployed youth and you will see that marriage is first and foremost and always on their minds as an end in itself. Thoughts of bettering their lives come a lot later down the list. Is it so difficult to see that marriage brings forth children and with them come bills of all kinds: food, clothing, schooling, and medical aid? When will they ever learn that The Lord in His Goodness has also given human kind an intellect and it is to be used? The power of discernment, when will it ever be used?

For argument’s sake let’s assume that higher civilization began somewhere in 5000BC and that’s being generous with the figures. Then look at the stories that happen everyday because the average individual refuses to learn from history, contemporary or ancient; refuses to learn from everyday happenings in everyday lives around him, refuses to open his mind to any input whatsoever at all. Pleasure and wishful hoping seems to push them along. It is like putting on a mask with only tiny pin holes for openings for the eyes and ears.

Our misplaced optimism sees Life as only getting better, accidents happen to others and we are doing our best in the circumstances. It is our karma and destiny that is at fault and all failures can be traced to somebody or something outside our control.

This philosophy has taken such a hold that even the intellectuals have left their thinking hats aside and live in a world of unfathomable make-believe. They can see only their wishes coming true! Oh Boy!! Let me give you a small example. Every year and in every journal, newspaper and gathering the mention of heat wave and heat stroke comes up. The danger and protective methods are clearly enunciated. Yet umpteen numbers die of heat stroke every year. Here I am not talking of the poor.

I am reminded of a scene. I was traveling behind a couple with a child on a two wheeler in 43 degree centigrade sun at around 2 in the afternoon. The lady was fully decked to be going into an important gathering. The young man who I assumed to be the husband of the lady was similarly fully dressed for partying. They did not seem and could not have been illiterate without some modicum of knowledge of life and the dangers of heat stroke. They could have not reached their income level without the basic education which I hope most of us have. Yet the child the woman was carrying was bald headed and directly exposed to the wind and sun. Traveling at 60 kmph creates a hot wind effect. The couples must be feeling it surely as the woman had covered her head and the man had a small towel like cloth under his helmet. Yet the child’s possible exposure was being ignored. How much care is really going into bringing up this child, I wondered? What kind of an adult will this child become and what stupidities will he continue on with?

Try explaining the need for hygiene in life. Advice like boil your water and do not eat from open stalls on the road has little or no effect. The reply I most often get is that protecting oneself too much is bad; one needs to develop a resistance. This is both convenient and blinkered thinking. Sickness and medical bills are never directly related to this attitude. We’ll spend a fortune in hospitals but cringe at bringing home a water purifier.

The other day I tried to advise my niece. Her three month old baby girl would not go to sleep. So I said perhaps shutting off the glaring fluorescent light which was on just above her might help and even more if we stopped talking around her. My argument being that the glare is hurting and moreover can affect the newly developing eyes, also the conversation was too high pitched to be a lullaby. The suggestion was met by scorn and scoff. Her explanation being that strong young people are not produced by molly coddling. To me this is escapism to avoid bothering at all because it did not suit her at that moment. Who really cares about the baby?

All I see is history repeating, repeating and repeating itself in all its wondrous stupidity. When will we learn from it and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over again? A little self-restraint and a little reflection; is it too much to ask?

Ruthlessness begets ruthlessness.

A chain forms.

When we want bigger cars, speedy action from authorities and bribe, threaten employees because they have no where else to go, beat children and women because you can get away with it, drop bombs because the air and the wind never oppose you, when you dig up the park to line the area with cement and leave the tress no breathing space, when you throw poisons in the air because you have so-called rights, when you hurt people by misusing your knowledge in medicine and food technology..... you are engendering ruthlessness and no good can come of it.

Dont think you are safe - the chain will eventually come back to you.

Finally all this talk is of no worth if we cannot learn to survive in this world. Let us assume that now we have the persona, the training and good health for making a mark in this world. How do we go about it?

Wealth is an acquired thing. It can be in any domain or level of consciousness – be it Material or Spiritual. The secrets to acquire wealth are the same and the same can be said for worldly happiness.

The first secret is in the word “Precision”.Whatever you desire needs to be precisely pictured in your mind. Most of us tend to be rather vague in our “wantings”. For our own part we have no clear picture of the path and goal we are going to take. There is a heavy dose of wishful thinking in our plans.Then we waver and depend on luck (or call it fate) to provide the possibilities and opportunities.This will not do.

The second secret is in the word “Picturisation”.Paint a picture in your mind of what you want. Fill in the details. When you want a car, decide which model and color and even plan out where you are going to park it. The picture should be very precise. Then the Universe will know what it has to do to organize to make it happen for you.

The third secret is “Input”.

What exactly are you going to put in from your side?

There are principles and morals + fears that we have imbibed. Are they in tune with the objective?Our study is it complete and do we have knowledge for the task on hand? How well do we understand what we are getting into?The fourth secret is “Communication”Is your language precise enough and are you good at putting your mind picture into words accurately? When you speak is your pronunciation/enunciation and the use of words, are they based on the universally accepted norms; are you sure the other person has clearly heard and understood you? The need for clear and correct interpersonal understanding is normally not valued by people. We assume that we are doing a good job but more often than not we end up misunderstanding more than the other way round and very often we understand not at all but out of politeness do not mention it.

The fifth secret is “Attitude”Do you go looking for solutions? Most of us are experts at rationalizing. We prefer explaining and complaining and that way prove to ourselves that it is all beyond our control. Once we have adopted this attitude, we can blame others squarely and continue to go merrily on our way. This is hardly the way to success.

The sixth secret is “Empathy”Put your self in the place of the other. You will see the real picture and you will decide correctly. Simply don’t let your purpose be overshadowed by the emotional needs or the manipulative ability of the other but don’t be unkind without good reason. Study people and how psychology plays the human game.

Chapter 7

The unseen factors at work.

Guide to positive karmic actions

What is our luck?

Can it be changed?

First understand what you are. The person you call yourself "I". You are this:

Our actions and decisions come through “The mind”. It is the instrument that makes play in the physical world possible.

Is it its fault that we do not train it adequately?

All then depends on how you have trained it and use it. The choice of living with one's own mind is ours. The mind cannot be blamed for anything. WE train it and we live with it.

The habits, the thinking patterns, the judgments, the emotional reactions, the conclusions we arrive at - that are made constantly; all these are the "training". Since the day of birth the "training" and conditioning begins. You have been trained in a particular pattern - your freedom notwithstanding. What kind of pattern have been inculcated, create the mental base on which the persona survives and grows.

If you want CHANGE, you have to make your mind able to host it. This is not so easy or simple. Focussed effort is required and this is possible.

You may find a lot of the secrets of factors involved here:

Learn. Learn as much as you can about the things in your life before you take any big decisions regarding health, finance and professional education.

It is never talked about, but we humans have an insidious love of gory sadistic things. Guard against the tendency to cause hurt in speech or act.

Our disregard for the other's space is phenomenal and legendary. Both Physically/materially and spiritually. So is our ability to then blame others, never accept fault and try to bluster away out of the mess by taking an attacking posture.

This attitude of caring/not caring for the effect consequences we will have on others, is what makes our character that shows up as a whole. Indians have no sense of personal space by virtue of the environment & societal acceptances that they are born and raised in. Crowding others, noise, sense of personal infallibility, interfering, appropriating goods/services, expecting to be taken care of & protected by others are some of our greatest factors that also make us comfortable in a crowd and our weaknesses as we then do not have a personal/individualized goal to aim for; no standards to live/die for. We expect nothing and have no idea how the others may be feeling-we never take this into account.

We are not bad at heart. We were just not made aware of these factors. It is simply not there in our consciousness. We learn soon to be selfishly disposed if we are to maintain any kind of personal life!

This then shows in our standards of working, maintenance of machines and equipment, handling responsibility and personal standards which are low and show our low self-esteem although we do not lack in arrogance. It is then a case of lot of arrogance but nothing to be arrogant about.

In personal life it shows as inconsiderate behavior and where we are in a position of authority, we tend to be tyrannical; even sadistic (if we feel we can get away with it)

All you need to do is to be on the governing board of companies and you will know how perverted and ruthless most decisions are. Always aiming to fill their own coffers and cheat the populace of their hard earned funds.

The populace is stupid enough to continue believing and the smart asses up there see no reason to change their ways.

There are two ways to use the occult powers that are available. One; to coerce and force issues to ones liking. They are looking for personal power through magical processes. People are playing a dangerous game they know nothing about.

Two; the other to go along with the flow and enhance by multiplication or concentration the power of the powers at work for growth.

We all depend on words to communicate but we rarely allow them to penetrate or register. The spoken word is just a mosquito buzz around the ears and the written word is just a blot on the landscape. On the other side of the coin is the fact that there are just too many words floating around and we need to shield ourselves against them.

As a student of Naturopathy, I have observed that most people get used to eating a few limited dishes, prepared in a routine fashion without chnge. This results in deficiencies in the long term. The body needs more than 40 different elements from food daily from which it makes approx 10000 compounds. When some elements start missing regularly as it happens when we eat only to satisfy our palate, fertile terrain for sickness is created.

Everything in this universe and also our tiny personal world is moving towards a continuum. Too much intensity of thought-desires or desire-thoughts can only block what would have happened naturally otherwise.

Although focus is necessary, halts and repose are too. Good or bad are perceptions; very personal in nature. Products/results obtained through intense desire are always faulty due to the seed being contaminated with our limitedness.

Yesterday evening I was in a food-store. A lady comes in. Stands at the door and takes a look, goes to the cashier and asks “You don’t keep lentils and pulses". This is obviously a statement. This is not asking but telling. How did she expect to get a proper answer? In life correct answers come to those who ask open, honest uncontaminated questions. The storekeeper is now put into the position to contradict the woman and defend himself. Both of these creating negative vibes.I have always wondered why we Indians do this.

We Indians have this habit of making negative statements with absolute certainty, but to be on the safe side the tone is kept into a question. Always negative and always critical. Can this bring joy?

Yes - learn from the mistakes and experiences of others. Therein lies wisdom.

Nothing good can come out of this behaviour and attitude:

The business class says, “My Dharma is to make money" to hell with the country/people/earth. The Thug says it is my dharma to kill and steal….. etc etc etc.

Even the “superior” class ( they can be recognised by their garbs) who profess to live at a higher level of consciousness and put up a good show of helping the average people – humbly accept their egos being brushed up and live luxuriously under the excuse: “If they want to donate to my welfare, who am I to refuse?”

The day we learn to be neutral, the circumstances reorganise and the old stances disappear. Asking someone to be neutral is also asking for a fundamental change - how to come about this is the enigma.

When you are threatened by something new, seemingly chaotic, you can fight or - Shift stance. Like wrestlers/boxers - learn to change stance instantly

Judging women as Nice and Not Nice is WRONG.

The lipstick and mascara version is as important as the householder mother. They’ll all fit into the scheme of things somewhere. They all look female of the species but are different at the core. You need to learn to look well + it all depends on what and when which grade of woman you really want/need for that moment. If you have any ability, you will look at their soul and connect there.

One should plan, analyse and learn from others and from one's mistakes but as Krishna said not be too sure or attached to the outcome. Many people are so strong on hope that they don’t look deeply into the pros and cons. As I have seen, as people's minds and memories have not been trained, they do not learn by experience by allowing the memory and mind to act as a witness and teacher. Wishful thinking is often misinterpreted as hope.

Mistrust and is in the air and hearts and there (I must admit) are good grounds for it. Insincerity in thoughts, speech and acts is practiced openly but no one is fazed.

I am coming to the point that I feel like keeping a camera always in hand - so that I can record every conversation and meet. People are blurting out words they have no memory of a few minutes later.

Otherwise people make commitments and unmake them with no sense of untruth or cheating niggling at them.

How did this - Wave of thought that “I” don’t need anyone" ever come to spread on this earth?

This is a self-destruct process.

Time to get lost again.

The Universe is what it is. We cannot argue with it - we can only learn to live with it. Let us not forget how puny we are; how inconsequential in terms of size and never forget for it is IN(within) this Cosmos and by its Grace that we live.

My reference is to the arrogance we carry within us that makes us teeny-tiny and the entrapment in the thoughts of greatness that we carry.

Do not throw dirt in front of other’s house. Do not dirty your surroundings. If you surround yourself with dirt, how can you expect anything good to come to you?

Do not grate your foot-wear while walking. It creates bad feelings and vibes.

Do not spit just anywhere. What goes around comes around. You are spreading illness and in your own little world.

Are you going thru a lot of pain? Your time to evolve has come.

This is a decision that the Lord of the Universe takes every now and then with areas that refuse to budge. Moving out of comfort zones is always painful.

Halt. Shut down the mind. Imbibe the calm strengthening energies around you.

In the present state humans are open to many elements that blow through them. It is virtually a public place at the cross roads. We are affected by things like weather, food, colours, personal relations & considerations and thoughts and other subtle influences.

"Just being you" is therefore not simple as it requires a great and sustained effort to individualise oneself around a stable core before we can even say ME, I.

But what do we see today? Parents with purchasing power, Grand egos, NO time for their children and a lot of guilt about it. The children have too much of everything, can afford to live isolated lives and miss out on the relative values of life. The Young rarely grow up mentally or emotionally - hurtling towards a chaotic and psychotically disturbed existence – that later on, the industrial society will feed on and exhaust you. But we are too proud to admit that we are wrong and not exclusive.

Single children, pampered and cosseted are the worst off.

We are part of a whole. We need to be thoughtful of this.

A lot of actions though called personal, are really done to shock others to garner attention. Attention to what, is, of course, another question.

I realised the soul to soul connects and how circumstances in physical life bring us together. Humans only see the physical/biological connects - that is why the medicine as practiced in the west is not successful.

I just wish to make a point that I hope soon humanity will rise in consciousness enough to not have a child if they are not ready for it.

The streak of cruelty in people comes from small minds trying to hide their inferiority.

There is a cruel streak in humans; people love ramming things down the throat of others. They are so on a high of their own state of perfection that they can afford to judge everyone with a sword in their hands which they feel God has entitled them to use to improve the world. I would call it the mental state of a Bully/Terrorist/Crusader.

If you notice carefully, we all have this element in some degree. Specially when we are young and infallible. This may tend to reduce as times go by with the lessons learnt from fate and her doses of cruelty which she dishes out to all.

But some lucky ones get to exercise their streak till the end of their days with complete impunity. I have often wondered if life does not use them for its own nefarious purposes. They often die sad and disillusioned but always unforgiving. Always stuck in their bucket of correctness. Sure, certain and blaming life for not giving them enough time to put this world to rights.

Right you are. Reading won’t change much except orient your thinking in that direction. The mind has to be trained like a dog or horse otherwise it loves wallowing in its own comfortable little pond. Giving a lot of excuses and reasons for just about everything as it suits its convenience. The first step is to acknowledge this fact and then be honest about rectifying it. You are answerable to yourself alone and that is normally an onerous task.

I am hearing a lot about sons being abusive towards their old parents. True the selfishness and new spending power is making people aggressive and abusive.

BUT

Teach the elders also not to give away their rights to the children too fast. Make the children self reliant and make them go and make a life for themselves. Not to pin too much on the hopes that the children are their property and will remain emotionally enslaved to parents forever and for god’s sake do not treat them as Life Insurance.

Considering the average education of the average guy, the average vocabulary and the average exposure to this world that each one of us enjoy, how much can there be to say?

Yet tongues wag on incessantly in most of us (the mobile phone has helped)

Living with walls and barriers. Slowly they reduce us, eat into our Spirit and starve all our elements that need openness like gratitude, forgiveness, generosity etc. Go out in open places like gardens and near lakes as often as possible. Make it possible willfully.

Silence and inactivity are so under-rated yet are the essential conditions for flowering/assimilation and nurturing growth.

If you are sincere, your efforts will show and results will be obvious. But most people are happy with - just dreaming, talking about it, reading about it or wanting it - which is not enough.

It happens only when you have become ready for it through many lives of preparation. Even when the opening or question like "what am I doing here?" comes, a persistent effort is needed to keep the opening in the forefront.

If you have the good luck you will be taken under the wing of Divine persona. But rarely anything happens without some personal effort of will too in the equation.

Suicide is running away. Only the body gives you a foothold in the world where change is possible. Whatever made you think and act on suicide, is an "influence" that does not go away with death. It only removes the body which gave some protection and then you become open to "spirit" warfare etc - sometimes even stuck in a zone. Best to fight the battles and outgrow our limitations (only life offers us this possibility) and when death comes as a natural relief, hopefully we have grown in consciousness and carry forward in the next life.

Everyone and everything carries their "openness" to the world around them in the form of certain vibrations that they exude and relate to. For example some people cannot stand Classical music and others cannot stand the metal clanging of some bands. Every activity and product or being gyrates to certain elements. This is their personal Consciousness level. This same then is to be found in the Cosmos. So it becomes really a question of to which level of things you wish to be associated with. When you allow the Soul, Divine Spark and our essential core to take control of your life, the things around us that are not in tune have to go and will go away automatically or become displeasing/disagreeable so you end up shunning them.

When we eat meat, we imbibe the conscious levels of the animal that has embedded itself in its meat. The unnatural death that the animal had to bear, translates itself as terrifying fear negativity and is passed on to you besides other elements like protein, fats, mental vibrational patterns imprinted in its subconscious that are mixed with the actual material flesh.

What do you know of life until you marry and be stripped of everything by your wife - rights, lefts, pride, authority - even permission to speak.

Go back to when you were 6 or 7 or 8. The time when your view of the incomprehensible adult world was just beginning to form. Remember your actions and reactions. Even from stories told to you about you. That was the time you were you. Can you still dance, sing and play with the same abandon? Can you still make yourself comfy just about in any corner and talk to yourself without feeling embarrassed?

When we grow up we pick up many “pretences”. Can we identify these without help from others?

The shell is the same but priorities and factors change with every passing moment. I am important to you today; tomorrow I may be a burden. The woman I loved passionately is today only person, a bit of a nuisance really. The music I could not live without, no longer is enticing. They see only my temper not their absurdities nor today that I couldn't care, nor for their judgments, nor for their relationship but would be happy to see them without remembering the past - but will they?

I wish it were as simple as that. I have yet to meet somebody who would agree to accept that he is /she is NOT sufficiently mature, well-versed in the ways of the world, adequately informed and somebody to reckon with.

Being a pioneer needs people to change ways of seeing, acting and becoming. I don’t see our over-inflated egos permitting us this pleasure.

It is not a question what we are but what we accept to be. Not accepting the persona (that we are today as made by our birth) that we are would make us look stupid in our own eyes. So even when there is nothing to be greatly arrogant about, we still find a lot of special attributes in ourselves. Of course as an argument we can put forth that we all have something special and blah blah but we must also first accept our commonness before we can advance into the future and into a new persona.

The mistake is in thinking that Kundalini can be awakened like a separate entity. When the foundation and the atmosphere around a person is ready, it awakens. It is a state that happens by itself when you have created the right conditions.

Otherwise it is like handing a piece of burning charcoal to somebody who is essentially still a child.

Stop buying nonsense and stop voting for people you do not like.

And most of all stop complaining and do something about it.

What else is in our hands? We have put up ourselves for sale, and as said one of our poets, the one who has sold himself cannot become a buyer later. They feed on our greed and gullibility. Knowledge, self discipline/control and reverence for life/cosmos is needed to free us from this bondage.

If NOT being foolhardy is cowardice then I am all for it.

I have often commented that when I see scenes like in movies when the Nazi SS colonel is interrogating a prisoner, and to show off his spite and lack of fear, the prisoner spits in the face of the colonel - I am awed at the stupidity.

This is not courage.

I prefer the courage of James Bond, cool calculated and a winner - while the other party remains blissfully unaware of the sentiments from the opposition.

Take it easy and wait for your moment.

Physical courage, Moral Courage, Mental courage, Intelligent courage are all very different.

On Nirvana and Samskara.

These two words are from a language that “mean” some experiences. If you are focussing only on the moral principles of today's way of thinking and what you interpret from it, you do the words a great disservice.

All words have superficial and deeper meanings. It depends from which angle you are looking. In the philosophical context, these words do not make sense in English. To understand them, you need to read the texts in which they were used originally and then you will get the "feel" and perhaps one day you will realise their veracity.

"Sex is a spiritual act disguised as a physical activity. It is the exchanging of spiritual energy - to tap into power alive with vital force - that has spiritual and physical manifestations and implications. This vital exchange is the only time that humans have the capacity to be God-like because it is the only time they can produce another spirit.

The law of conservation of [Sexual] energy teaches us that sexual energy is neither created nor destroyed, it merely changes forms. But this power is only as good as the handler's ability to handle it responsibly. And that's the lesson: To be responsible handlers of power; to teach our children to be responsible handlers of power; to be responsible in our handling of each other's power. Religions/Spiritual systems can provide us with moral guidelines for how to do this but ultimately the responsibility is ours- all of it." ~ Ádìsá Ájámú

PK: Yes. I have tried to pass this message on to all who would hear me. I have experienced that without the exchange of this spiritual energy, the whole thing becomes ugly and energy depleting - something that later brings in illness.

Inject a drop of love into the bloodstream and see what funny things it makes us do.

I am not surprised. Highly religious people become highly bigoted too when they wallow in the superiority of "their" virtuousness derived from following "their" religion

In all the places that were ever started as Centers for calming down the human entangled spirit, like Monasteries and Ashrams, the beginning is always laudable. The Master who starts it and his first disciples are serious, genuine in their quest and there is always an atmosphere of peace. Even the sex centre calms down.

But then gradually, a cult grows around them, when quotations and lectures become more important than the practice. The group grows and keeping the bunch organised becomes more important. All the ills of society and city living elsewhere come to plague and the focus on personal growth disappears.

The first thing that returns is the sexual beast asking for his pound of flesh.

Intuition: All it needs is a little silencing of the spirit, quietening of the din of desires and pre-decided goals so the voice from within can be heard

Very important to connect the nature in us with the nauture out there. Walk in the grass, sing in the rain and sleep on the sand. Mother Earth will cradle you, sing you lullabies and hug you back into whole.

Happiness has been equated with satisfaction of Desires. The brains are now wired for immediate satisfaction. Nothing good can come out of it. All cultures until now have always advocated restrain, self-discipline and mastery. The American Dream has done the opposite.

The human rogue element only can be coerced and frightened but not made to understand or learn to control himself - he is too much in awe of his own strength and intellectual ability.

The question of how we connect and know each other is a crucial one and that is I think given very little importance in our lives. How much thought has been given and have we as individuals have given to it? In the normal course, we behave spontaneously and instinctively or at least we should. This is the behavior pattern we would see in children. Soul to Soul. No holes barred. But Adults learn many tricks while growing up; and there are many material/social considerations to take into calculations.

Even where these material/social elements can be laid aside, we learn to be calculating and vary.

People can, if they wanted, delve deep into their own selves and know and feel the aura of others if they would simply permit themselves the joy of living in the intuitive world. In this state we know exactly what we feel and how and at what levels we shall connect with the other.

But this is a pleasure we rarely allow ourselves. We meet first. There is small talk and skirmishes. Our conversations then jousts with the other as if testing waters of the other’s persona. Then we return to our bases and ruminate on the happenings and allow the mind to interfere, judge and analyse whereas all we need to do is to listen to the heart. Then we meet again and we allow ourselves to come a step nearer to each other. Over time a comfort zone is established. Deeper connections are established but mainly due to more number of contact points being established. An emotional dependency is also established.

Yes. We take active part in the process and then complain that things should change and the government is responsible.

Point to Note: The government is made and run by you and me and people like us from amongst us.

The same way I find people falling into the trap of easy credit and then blaming the government and the system for it and asking for better government.

It needs courage to take a loan at such usurious % and without calculating the ramifications twice? Calculations based totally on hope! That is really courage!! But then I suppose we have to live with our decisions.

I am not being sarcastic or anything about the ramifications. I would be very scared to enter into any agreement of any kind that puts me in a position to be at the mercy of another, specially bankers. But then we have been taught this as a matter of principle in our families since the day we are born - we even have a saying, “spread yourself to fit into the size of the bed-sheet available" - this may be discouraging but it is drummed into us.

Paragraph from –

by Pir Zia Inayat Khan

Copper Rule 3

My conscientious self, do nothing which will make your conscience feel guilty.

The way of the Sufis is to accept and disclose one’s limitation rather than hiding it, by making a secret of our missteps and transgressions. Being authentic in one’s own station one has nothing to fear. One is no longer in hiding. No one can manipulate you because there is no secret to be found out. The process is to clarify the conscience by occupying one’s reality with honesty, freely admitting one’s errors: coming clean.

PK: Interesting point on not fearing to be candid.

I have always spoken about my missteps and errors and admitted them freely as advised here.

Why hide or what advantage is there in hiding unless we are leading a hypocritical life?

Barbara Thumann-Calderaro

Why does it take a lifetime to learn how to live your life?

~me

I wonder if one lifetime is enough - in our way of thinking, we have many lives to go through. Yet seriously coming to the point - Bad parenting, idiotic thinking, lazy living are the reasons

I have noticed that a certain type of people, what I call the lower middle class, shows scant respect for others/goods/common discipline and can rarely discuss a subject with a cool demeanor. Every interaction easily turns into a confrontation. They are easily incensed by their imagined hurts, avoid relationships by a defensive posture and refuse to follow any common patterns being followed by the rest of the group as too restricting of their individuality – a kind of individuality that I call gross selfishity.

The digital world has given a much distorted view of our own self importance and made people feel they need nobody to depend on.

Food that does not rot is not alive and cannot keep you alive either. Anything that can stay on the shelves for longer than a few weeks is of questionable value (except of course certain home-made preparations like jams, cookies and pickles)

Let us keep on focusing on the question - What exactly am I doing here and how can I add to its worth?

The point is - Are you just asking questions or also putting in effort to get to the answer? It is my experience that most of us are simply asking questions, seemingly giving the impression to look and feel wise and then simply exist focusing on the few essentials that take our fancy or nature's 'demands.

Sharing and holding hands on what we learn seems to be the purpose now.

If everybody fought for their corner of clean water and clean land, we shall win overnight - but I see (literally) people throwing their garbage out of their homes into those of others - as long their house is clean and impressive the rest of the world can drown in muck. This is a sure formula for unhappiness and bad karmic footprints.

My understanding of the human psyche is that it progresses best under duress. Anything coming to it free and easy is taken for granted and soon personal effort/sense of responsibility goes out of the equation. It then becomes a weakening factor instead of a helpful and progressive one.

I hate lecturing and believe in answering "live" genuine questions asked by need and not curiosity.

The Uncomplicated Mind

Have you ever spent time with the people of older cultures who live in a simple time-frame totally in tune with nature? They are not obsessed with creating wealth and institutions to live after them. Their minds are not loaded with information beyond their need to survive in the milieu they are born in – with contentment and health. Their minds have not gone beyond their natural world.

In comparison see what the modern man with his education has done. His mind has acquired weapons to defeat Mother Nature and created a world of his own imagination – with his incomplete knowledge. This would not have been so bad. The damage that has been done by the ARROGANCE that man picked up on the way with this notion of “knowing” is now coming back to haunt him – forcing him to look back and consider many attributes like co-existence, gratitude and compassion. Finally the realisation is dawning that we have compromised ourselves and our unbounded greed can only consume us.

The time has come to take a step back and use our knowledge to integrate with the Graceful existential knowledge of Mother Nature.

Life without an excuse and something to blame on others can be very dull and frightening.

We also live in a society that has forgotten how people basically are. The government has no idea of psychology and Creative governance and the people have forgotten to exist in togetherness.

Gratitude should be something that we are. It is unfortunate that it has to be told and induced by will into our acts.

Honesty is a good concept. It exists in text books -the concept is a possibility but that, generally speaking, does not make it a reality. Ever thought, tiniest of them, if you look deeply, has some governing reason behind it in which self interest will be seen and as everybody is at the same level with the self-interest of each individual at loggerheads with the rest, manipulation even though harmless and honest, is an underlying factor.

Have the courage to go and do your thing. Live life the way you want it and are convinced it should be. Only be careful not to step on too many toes and egos. The ends justify means – use flattery instead of critical appreciation to manipulate people.

Most often the negative is said in anger and only to hurt. It is not an accurate assessment of the truth. But often that which comes to the lips is what has been hiding in the thoughts although with exaggeration. It shows more the prejudices of the person saying it rather than the truth of being of the person being attacked.

*By not letting people learn the hard way, we do them a disservice. We delay the advent of their destiny. So be very careful when you are being "too" kind. Helping is one thing, but being kind because it "hurts" your own sensibilities and your own sense of worth is another thing.

On not wanting to die.

Yes often they have strong spirits and their fear keeps them grounded whereas they should let themselves go.

That is why I tell people to learn to withdraw from the age of 50 onwards so that we can pass on comfortably later.

I am against drinking and hate driving. I suppose only drunken people would go driving with pleasure.

It is an horrendous act to jeopardise the existence of others because of one's own careless attitude. But the question is how to stop them. Sensible talk or rules are of no effect on these wiser/stronger/abler-than-thou people.

I have some ideas as a control in cars that can be added simply but nobody is interested in simple solutions as the Freedom of the individual seems to be too great a factor in these TOO-MUCH-FREEDOM times.

Yes - verbalising at great length is not a virtue. It is my understanding that humans are at a level of mental development where they need to externalise themselves in every activity and in thoughts they tend to then put into words/sounds to "see" what they are thinking.

But then what is there to say? Just go and do it!

BUT there is another side to it - that often thoughts have to be "placed" in the "heads" of others. Their wheels turn only when jump started from an external source. (the entire science of advertising/campaigning is based on it).

The answers take on a life and they are then powerful to bring in change only when they are in response to a "seeking" question. Throwing pearls at large was never advised by anybody who had anything worthwhile to say.

The past is only in our memory – it does not exist.

PK: it sounds good but this is an oversimplification. The past is with us not only as memories but as many other things and baggage that cannot be thrown away every morning to start anew.

The solution to a nagging past is growth. Growth of the persona. Like trees renewing themselves. All we need to do is to create new foliage, new friends, new subjects to learn and the past will have to fade away, enough not be a pestering influence.

Most people want h past to just disappear while their present stays as it is - without effort or change; this is childish in the extreme.

They comfort themselves with proverbs/quotes that tell them that the past is gone. What can we say to them?

‎

…..with heads full of words, like pearls in a bag. When will the necklace be made?

Many discussions are for killing time. What a waste: It is like a discussion - will it be a boy or a girl. Totally without any sense but great to keep the petty minds busy.

I am saying what I am saying. It is a statement of things as I see them. This is the situation. You are welcome to interpret it in whatever way you wish it. Debating it that things should be otherwise is good as that points to what should be but it does not change the fact of what things are.

The Universe is what it is. We cannot argue with it - we can only learn to live with it. Let us not forget how puny we are; how inconsequential in terms of size and never forget for it is in This Cosmos and by its Grace that we live.

We are taught this truth first thing. Not to attract attention - not to show off - not to boast.

Shine. Remain ever shining that is your persona but choose to hide your light when in presence of those who are not ready for it or would not appreciate or feel threatened. Choose when to put the switch on and when not to. There are two separate domains: the meta-physical and physical. You have to learn to navigate.

It is not of matter of fear but plain common sense.

As I say to Indian women, to put on their best clothes, make-up and all their jewellery to a party and then walking out into the crowd of semi animals is just not done.

Every time somebody tries to bring this subject up of dressing/smartening up - what is correct and not, there is uproar. Women decry and howl for their independence & men want their rights. Everyone forgets that there is a law of attraction at work. There is a lure at work in our instinctive make-up. The question is not just how attractive we make ourselves but also if we end up by titillating and thereby unleashing some primal energy that make things go out of control. It is best not to awaken certain energies around us; not to attract too much attention.

Envy and lust are strong energies and people send out negative vibes in spite of themselves. Some succumb to their own demons that have been aroused without their knowledge - not their fault really.

There is no guarantee to what you will attract and playing safe should be our aim.

In India and other cultures here we have this concept of "Nazar" which means evil eye. And I can assure you it is very real and is common as envious looks coming your way and affecting your well being. Every household practices the removal of it, specially from babies/children. I am easily affected and have to ask my mother to do her neutralising trick.

Make a note of 10-20 quotes that touch your spirit. Read them everyday. Let them interfere with your reactions. They will help you regulate your reactions/thoughts - act as speed bumps.

Secondly gather experience in different situations and learn about others and yourself. This will broaden your view and understanding will help you quieten down the continuous running/anxiety state of the mind. Detachment grows with wider perspectives.

Whatever people may say or observe about themselves, subconsciously we all have parameters at work, humming and influencing our thoughts in a continuous stream wherein we are judging and comparing ourselves with the rest; with clearly the focus being on showing the world how wise and extraordinary we are in comparison (and validating ourselves).

See how I mind my business.

See how kind I am to animals.

See how generous I am to people because I wish them good morning.

See how smartly I walk.

See my choice of clothes/picture/gadgets.

See with what precision I cut corners.

See the choice of my quotes.

See how I am managing the situation........ad infinitum

I think we are better off with the smoke screens between us - I live what I profess and do not put up a pose - the result is that I am shunned as seen of no value to their interests and they fear my candidness + lack of fear of the beyond.

They would rather judge me by 1) bank balance, 2) the car I own, 3) the size and real-estate value of my house 4) the model/brand of the shoe 5) the time I am prepared to waste on them.

We have always known it but our greed to own everything and control existence to suit our preferences is too great and the pleasure principle is glorified as the goal. Either we stop it or Mother Earth will do it for us.

Learn to live healthy through the energy of the flower. The beauty, perfection and strength with which flowers bring forth life and joy to existence is a marvel and makes us feel so small in comparison.

There is real dirt out there. Pollution, noise, WiFi, talkative humans who get angry and all these people throwing their garbage out into the streets, cheating, disrespect for other's space etc etc

It does not require a very great intelligence to see that we are creating "illness".

We are meeting present demands by destroying the future and denuding The Earth. Whatever vestige of sanity remained, has now been destroyed by adding hormones and antibiotics to the system. Suddenly you will see epidemics of wild proportions shall strike. Hopefully when the human population has again reached manageable proportions, the earth will renew/regenerate itself.

The beauty, perfection and strength with which flowers bring forth life and joy to existence is a marvel and makes us feel so small in comparison.

These words" Real Truth" , "Higher Truths" etc - whatever do they mean?

I find them to be put-offs. I feel, if you have seen or realised something, spread it, without comparisons.

First we create systems, and then we create arguments. The mind likes to "show-off" without really putting in too much effort - it only ends up creating chaos and quarrels. This is the basis of illness anyway.

Let us not talk of Truth at all. It is such a "cloud in the sky" subject. Let us focus first on topics like: Why are we making so much garbage, why are we buying things we don’t like/need, why are we watching so much TV, why are we talking so much to say nothing.......

Every idiot thinks (Nay – he is absolutely certain) he is the only one who would know what needs to be done.

Never got down to making a reputation - the others did it for me.

People, specially in the family, judge me from what they knew of me as I was 35 years ago. They have no idea of my person today and couldn’t care.

Everyone has a picture of their version of truth. What you are seeking may not be what they are seeking. If the truth of the other person makes you feel going below your own standards then disassociation is the best recourse.

We should strive to better ourselves and associate with all that helps us rise in our esteem, in the pursuance of our goals. If people and situations come in our life that take us in the opposite direction, then we should not associate - rather consciously disassociate.

The world today has more teachers, professors, counsellors/advisors than ever in history; more literate people and more books and written material - (free of cost on the internet) - one Sunday newspaper has more material than a person saw in a whole year 100 years ago - YET - see where the world and our cultural ethos is headed!

Are we a thinking race? Are our minds in control and working in conjunction with our acts?

How many of us, do you feel, think, ruminate, consider all aspects, study the unknown aspects (or even doubt the incompleteness of our data or/and abilities) before taking a decision and act?

Like contrasting colours, Nonsense brings out the flavour in Sense and Seriousness. It also helps in tangential thinking to show us the folly of our seriousness and self-important thinking. It helps to break the cage of our mental trappings

In India in many of our surrounding countries, lack of respect for other's space is the general mindset. People will block roads, stand or walk in the middle of it, leave things around and litter when they feel they can get away with it. The thinking is: What will you do to me? Hang me by the nearest tree? Skin me alive?

I say what I think already so no point in phrasing the question with a "Don't you think''.... this puts pressure on the other person to conform or confront.

What if I just said NO or Yes and let the conversation die out at this point?

This is called a “loaded” question and is considered bad manners in my book.

Never let this situation ever happen. When you feel things are stagnating - take willful deliberate steps towards something new. The physical "body" mind does not like changes - it believes in keeping stuck to the rut of its known world.

Sweets are at least 6 times sweeter now. Bad from any angle. But people must be liking it because it sells more.

The humans have always poisoned themselves with the concept, “If some is good, then more is better”.

Clever people do not recognise intelligence. They are too busy appreciating themselves.

Weak people need pillars = addictions. Even too many oranges, day in and day out can do damage

Yesterday I was watching my little one and her older friend playing a game they had picked up on the internet. The other girl kept on shouting Kill him, kill him... Then I realised how inured these kids would become if this kind thinking made a stronghold in their minds. I stopped and changed the game.

I think all those now touched by TV and internet are becoming this and are affected - they agree or not.

- Children need clear-cut guidance at this age. This is not repression. They are allowed to play. Only we need to teach them he habit of making choices and explain to them why we do not like etc so that later they can judge for themselves.

If Parents are not ready and do not know, should they be allowed to have/raise children? We need license to drive a car/repair our taps and repair an electrical switch, but anyone who can have sex is allowed to raise children- without any basis on how and with what they are going to raise them.

Look for the funny side with intention and this will help you destroy many of your castles that you have built in your mind.

I have been veering towards the point - like all the sages in the past - speak not, bother not.

But this business of earning bread, forces you to go out and speak and worry about the net results. What a shame.

Day to day life lived with focus and sincerity of intention is the only thing of importance and/or of any worth.

Learnt very early from life that it is best to do it, enjoy it, worry about consequences later - the worst that can become of it is a scolding from father but it needed to be done before he said "NO".

The Superior Man does not engage with people who he disagrees with or those who disagree with him.

There is much wisdom in keeping away from disturbing engagements and keeping one's serenity.

Take care. You may end up being entrapped by your own wisdom and pride in your qualifications and achievements

It is the reinterpretation that many do to reduce the words of others to fit into their own thought structure that I do not agree with or for that matter any need to criticise anybody's writing because it does not go in concordance of our own way of seeing. There is also this possibility of getting entrapped in our own wisdom.

It easier for people who can switch from skill to skill.

The times we are living in make it easier for people who are flexible and can switch from skill to skill. It makes things more difficult for people who are averse to risks and prefer going deeper and deeper into one particular thing.

Today people have to continue learning throughout life. You have to acknowledge change and pick up skills to cope.

The body has a simple memory system that records everything. Too many activities at the same time or in speedy succession can confuse it and deregulate its memory and cause stress. This is the basic reason behind advising - to eat simple fare and not too many things at a time - not having too many partners - engaged in too many complex projects.

Our older cultures that were closer or are closer to nature, reflect and practice this understanding. Even Homoeopathy is very near to this understanding - it depends on the memory contained in the physical-material envelop of the earth to activate the healing process.

We are so busy looking for the day after into the distance, that we forget the now and today.

The world is full of books that some may read but rarely practice or imbibe in life.

Bad friends have always been and will be. It is how the world runs and how our choosing system works. We do make errors in choices in life due to many odd reasons.

Thought-Gifts: We need to give due importance to the language used. This is a tool we have and it is already a difficult one with many complexities and shades. We have to pay serious attention to the original language used by the author. We cannot paraphrase or substitute words/expressions to suit and fit into our older concepts. This is like closing one's mind to new thoughts which come often as gifts from the Universe. Acceptance can bring greater joy and profitable change.

Talk within the limits of "your" reality. THE REST IS JUST PLAY OF WORDS

When you see life in its entire splendor, you see the funny side too. Unhappy people are those who take things too seriously and themselves even more so. Once we realise how little we are and not-so-really, we start seeing things in their correct value and perspective

Effortless childhood.

There was a whole village around us to take care of us. There were uncles, aunts, grand parents by the dozens and brothers and sisters all over the town. Wherever and with whosoever we were, we were sure to be fed and put to bed and no parent or child was ever worried. We grew up in a multitalented world and picked up a million things without ever knowing it.

Mankind will not know peace until we go back to this primeval state of effortless childhood.

I mean in older age we tend to start forgetting and life has taught us to forget and could not care less about it. But of course there are a huge number of people who never grow up and stay stuck in their thirties even when they are hundred. Everything they do is within that old-time time-frame.

These people live in the present but judge things from the time they were "somebody" in their prime. People easily give them up as senile or whatever and children avoid them like the plague. It turns into a tragedy if they are in control of things for example: patriarch of a large family or industry.

If only people could go beyond their need of pleasure sensations from the sexual source and know the pleasures of loving with the rest of the persona, through the fingers, ears, eyes (closed and open) etc etc

It is all in the word Free. It means different things to all individually - that is if it is personalised and most do. Very few can think objectively.

The first question that popped to me was free of what? Nobody is bothered about me - if am living or dying or hungry or lonely – nobody is asking me to conform group (they may deride me but that is another thing), so where is the prison and why all this talk of freedom.

On knowing about the shackles - if hurts or even is uncomfortable, if it makes you squirm; then something is herding you in.

The child needs us to learn and discover this world and himself. It cannot be left to others. We gave it birth and it is our duty.

Those who leave it to nannies and TVs are doing irreparable harm.

If the individual does not care for his safety, why should anyone? This big brother attitude is killing all progress and self-development. We should educate, warn and let things take their course.

Gentleness is one thing, kindness totally another. Kindness by intent is a show of virtuousness which can grate on the nerves.

My observance is that we are basically lazy. There is a lot of inertia in the basic nature (the inconscient) and whatever psychologists may say, this has overall control over our lives in general. What is called in Sanskrit "Tamas".

People not only do not think for themselves, they would rather not do anything if they can avoid it but they are very good at rationalising as it requires little effort besides wagging the tongue. If they do anything it is because social acceptance and hunger prods them to and they don’t know where to run.

Desire and passion for pleasure are great motivators; logic and goodwill rarely.

People are not interested. Humans do not see - do not want to see - the connection in the long term effects of most activities. In my last forty years I have not been able to change even one person's thinking to get interested in learning more and bring about change in their thinking/lifestyle.

Habits and immediate pleasures are the prime motivators.

I have yet to see big money being made without an element of dishonesty or crass cheating. So the only way honest and straightforward people can make anything is bunching together and be led by somebody who knows dishonesty inside out or something?

There are good people, and small businesses being run honestly are many but amassing of wealth can come only through underhand means in the world condition as it is.

The human character coupled with Government regulations make it impossible.

Learn from children. Be one in their company.

This will enhance your creativity and enlarge your professional capacity

There are some over clever ones who are very appreciative of their own wit and showing off all the time. Don’t get involved with them or try to upstage them. You will never win and the first rule of interaction is that never get into an argument, discussion or conversation in which there is one-up-manship.

On suffering:

The piece of iron being made into a horse shoe - just imagine what it has to bear. But to become into something useful and then later serve its purpose, it has no other way. Later it becomes the lucky charm of houses and a highly desired commodity.

Yesterday got into a discussion with a friend parent on the affair of spoiling kids at home and putting them in residential schools and spoiling them there. I feel that children need parents till the age of 13-14 but after that the influence of other souls should come in and is imperative for their flowering into full personhood.

The age of 18 is too late. By then egos form and attitudes harden. 12-14 is the latest. In old Indian tradition, the kids were sent to a teacher at an ashram around the age of 8 and this I feel is the right time because the mind starts forming then. Good parents can give EQ but a good teacher alone can help develop the IQ.

That we are suffering horribly from "indulgence". Every pleasure and wish granted on the earth plane always comes with hefty price-tag that has to be paid from our life's karmic balance.

We need to realise and understand that physical pleasures are with a price and impermanent. Joy comes from sharing and laughter and this in turn brings everything that we desire form the pharma industry.

I am referring to the attitude of people who demand respect as a right. People who automatically command respect are hidden gems. They are above average persons with a lot of redeeming qualities. They rarely look for respect as they are happy with their own little life. You come to know how great they are only when you come closer to them, if you get the chance. They are what they are and couldn't care less what others think. Their positive vibes and commanding personas become obvious when they decide to show themselves in a situation. They make no effort to garner attention.

In professional life or often in families, where the judgment of others create precedence and controlling norms like in Competitions, Management decisions etc, a lot of things wouldn't come amiss like integrity & honesty. Specially sincerity.....But alas, life is a matter of personal politics first - and it is not politic to say so.

Words are the only vehicle available to convey our thoughts but it can all be a great waste - the process of penetration and registering is extremely faulty in the spoken or/and written format - the receiving end instrument ( human brain with its conscious/subconscious patterns) is designed to filter out and block.

There are a lot of miseries that people bring upon themselves but many come uninvited with the best of intentions. Whenever greed or wishful thinking is allowed in decisions, the whole affair goes south and usually brings a lot of debts.

A fake means a copy. Some copies are good and some are obvious. But why enter a door where you know the assurance of getting the real thing does not exist?

Anyway if you are looking for something of value but cannot afford, then there would be some element of snobbery out there. So people who go for fakes are really people who are trying to show off how much they know a good thing and how clever they are in not spending a fortune on it.

"I have always felt that too much is being told to those who cannot relate with the info. Most people live in a small bubble and anything beyond that is normally outside their field of comprehension. When they don’t even have a "question" what is the need or good in dumping so many answers on them?"

Everything serves a purpose but it is wisdom to know when to let go, discard old thoughts and habits and adopt new measures.

This knowingly hurting the people and earth is something so demoniacally human; makes me wonder about all this talk of spiritual emancipation of humanity. At the other end is the stupidity of the masses that are lapping up everything that is dished out to them withOUT "thought" or study. I suppose we get what we deserve. If we are not going to take responsibility for our lives and actions, we cannot expect any better. We may explain it away in whatever way we want but words penetrate deep into our psyche and have a deep effect of such impact that they can often direct our lives. Broken bones always mend sooner or later. But the effect of words keep on and on in changes that they bring about. Most words though we know at heart be it of praise or insult, are false and insincere at the core but we do let them influence us.

We mask our insincerity which includes traits like laziness, cleverness etc with all acceptable tools available - created by humans like laws, customs, unprovable lies and everything else we can use.

WE do everything but take life in our hands and do something about it. Moaning & complaining is so much more self-satisfying. The other day I used this sentence: Not doing is a goal in itself. Given the limited number of years given to us, passing time without effort is a goal in itself.

I find this even in our land of Yoga and so called spirituality, that we pay lip service to a lot of words, often confusedly with great sounding expressions. The need is to first look at our own five fingers - what is going on within us at the level that we are. Things like prejudices, anger triggers, hidden desires etc - that is, if we are sincere. If these first steps are not being taken, the rest is all a sham.

Every country is exemplified by one or two acts that define its core character.

When I talk of “The” India it is always our attitude towards our daughters in law who are burned for dowry, not having sons or just because their husbands are no more and they are blamed for the bad luck they brought.

Finally, all said and done it is your call and destiny. The most natural thing to you is what you will do and the most natural thing to the other person is what he will do.

Indians, specially in the north of India have mastered the art of accusative conversations. They conveniently keep on accusing the other person so that the spot –light remains focused away and nothing can ever be pointed at them. Keep the other person on the defensive.

The give and take of life requires merging with others, specially to form a "couple". Our sense of independence that has been inculcated in today’s way of seeing things, makes us rather self-centered and less than tolerant.

We want freedom to pursue our pleasures, we seek only fulfillment of our pleasure -seeking; how can anyone else fit into the scheme of things?

When somebody regales me with gossip of other friends, until I have something to learn from the info in business and other dealings, (I keep my fingers crossed), I have learnt to ask the other persons - "Why are you telling me this?" And if I am asked to interfere, I always respond by - "What can I do that you cannot do well yourself better?"

I am convinced that we go out to "help" because in the final analysis we feel we know better and have greater depth of vision. Vanity really is the motivating factor.

We are all interconnected and are supposed to be holding hands when we collaborate. Otherwise the lives and troubles of others are not ours. By acting as crutches we weaken others. Let them fight their battles is my view of life. Help if you can and if you have the wisdom to see the outcome.

All I can say is that interfering in the destiny of others is wrong.

At the base we are a nasty & narrow-minded people; more interested in imposing ourselves than anything else. We do not spare our children, women or animals. We control ourselves only when we are afraid & know that the other party can do us harm or in sheer selfishness.

I think of the past in “shorts” selectively. The incidents that I feel I should not forget because I would tend to repeat them and that revisions of lessons are necessary. I live in the present better because I am keeping an eye on myself.

Temptations are always there but most we hide them and control them. Becoming aware of them is the first step. Recognising their power over us the next step. Becoming free of them, by understanding is the final step.

It is the exchange of vital energies that makes the sexual aspect so addictive. Otherwise it can be like flat beer. Sex by itself without any emotional or participating emotions from both sides is - let's say not even half as interesting as a good bar of chocolate and coffee.It is the exchange of Yin and yang energies that makes it so satisfying and gives the sensation of completeness and fulfilling.

The animals do it only in particular mating season. So this connection is basically with the humans who need to repeat it often to feel complete.

Lies between us are important. The facade is too fragile.

Why do we crowd the "dead" with our attention when we had no time when alive. I hope you all who had no time for me when I was alive, will not crowd me when I am dead and at peace. Let me go in peace and quiet. And to hell what the etiquette book says!

Would the child you once were be inspired by the person you've become?" - Nic Askew ……..

We are in error if we think that as we grow we are actually becoming a more complete person. The general growth is towards more understanding of the intricacy of our lives, laws and loves but as people we lose the awe of learning and surprises. I think we become hardened rogues and narrower in spirit. No wonder children find adults rather a pain. Do we even remember the child we were?

The big difference in my opinion is that the "play" part in us leaves as we grow up and is replaced by "calculation" - and the mess is complete. And if by misfortune we succeed materially, even pretence of kindness evaporates.

Everything has a history & karma. Even a piece of rock has been standing still since thousands of years, is playing a part.

You see individuals. In reality if you can feel the pulse of the Cosmos in action, you will see there are very few individuals. We are like a swarm of jelly fish.

WE all have a personal destiny but also a common bond between everything we are with. I am born here and you are born there. It is not as random as you may think. We are in a sea of people but connect with a few. There is a plan but a very general one.

Your mind creates an enclosure and prides itself in being something exclusive - this is sheer arrogance. It changes nothing.

The populace that you talk of is not much different than a crowd of cars. All of different models and makes and names. But very common in the final use.

Yes. We keep our consciousness focussed on external objects just because we are not quite happy with ourselves and do not wish to look in that direction at all. All our activity is a masking procedure. We try to fool others by showing interest in complicated subjects and with "questionings" & discussions that act to give impression of depth and more searching but in reality we are avoiding the essential need to look where it matters

There is a great chasm between hearing and listening. Often we are not even hearing but only pretending. We are not even interested but being polite and wasting each other's time. What a colossal waste of precious time and even more valuable psychic energy

In the beginning effort is imperative. It is written in our destiny. There is much harm being done by floating around concepts of effortlessness, love for oneself and the like. This gives the self-centered people a good excuse to be their merry selves and make everyone unhappy.

Everyone has something to hide. We are not (any of us) washed in milk as we say. How we interpret, absorb, act upon and define things is what makes us.

As for unhappy women, show me one happy human who is "really" happy with his condition and relationships. We have dreams, hopes and aspirations that cannot, can never be, fully or partially realised. More often than not the unhappiness is due to our failure to take bull by the horns.

Marriages, though they give stability but do so at a price. One must enter into it with this thought firmly understood.

In the final analysis it is how much you are prepared to compromise, forgive (note: I did not say -forget), enjoy nevertheless that matters.

This talk of love - Love thy neighbor, You Are Love, blah blah is so words, words, words.....ever seen a child share ice-cream? - and we call them angels. If this is our idea of angels, what would be our idea of love? Something like “Love is when you think only of me ; my welfare; my wishes".

The Creator has all the rights. We are here by The Grace of the Mother. Happiness is yours by choice. The word "rights" is promoted by the Ego

Ask your Soul. It represents and is God in you. Playing with words will lead to nowhere. It is a waste of good time given to us on this earth. Better put in realising our Truth whatever we feel it is.

No doubt if there is a sincere question there is always an answer which comes to you - never know from where. But if you read my comment you will see I am not denigrating anything or anybody. Not asking anyone to follow the path of talking or exchanging or otherwise. Just asking not to waste time in proving a point or points; we have very limited time given to us. Just remember that.

Can our future be changed?

It is just a matter of changing the tracks. If you continue with your old pattern of being, it cannot be changed but the moment you shift focus, everything around you has to reassemble itself and the track of destiny can change.

My practical experience says it is all in our hands. The choice of saying yes or no is in our hands. The rest may not be. Every moment we are given a choice and our response to this choice determines our future.

We need to make the first step to understand, then exercise our judgment, then learn from the experience and finally change our direction as needed.

Learning to distance ourselves from our sadness is not easy for our emotional being when there are people all around us and we are tempted to attract them to our state. It is unfortunate that humankind pays attention only to another in sickness and sadness. Even mothers give out this signal. In later years people imagine/wish themselves into real sickness to get attention.

Tumors are well understood at the spiritual level to be knots in the invisible persona showing themselves in the physical when envy, suppressed greed, suppressed desires have not found realisation.

We can take a dip in the swimming pool without dissolving into it; without drinking all of the water. And we then come of it and are again fully dry. My love for swimming remains, I am dry and untouched.

The need is to learn to enjoy without... craving. Take pleasure in your friends when they are there but don’t get depressed when you are alone because you need to savor your own self as much. It is all a question of centering.

Chapter 8

Essays on life.

COMFORT ZONE.

There is much talk of progress and success nowadays. Motivational programs are everywhere. In what meaning of the word are we talking? For argument’s sake, let’s confine ourselves to make it mean: Advancement in career and money making prospects. This then presupposes that everyone would always be striving to improve one’s earning capabilities and keep on rising in one’s working domain to reach higher and higher positions in the given hierarchy. This may be the first fallacy but let’s accept it as true for now.

How many of us are really prepared to go that extra mile to achieve this so called goal, which ideally everyone is expected to be pursuing? As I see it, the goal is more in the desire form than in practice. Every goal has ladders and every ladder has steps. Every step necessitates a struggle or overcoming a shortcoming. This has two sides to the coin. One: One has to gauge correctly what is it that will make us go forward towards our goal. A sincere and impersonal guide and mentor are needed and they are extremely difficult to find or even recognize. Two: Once the elements requiring correction en route are understood, a great effort is needed to retrain ourselves with new thought patterns and habits. Subconscious patterns, inculcated since the day we are born are deeply embedded in us and we have to literally fight against their hold on our everyday lives.

My personal perception is that most prefer to find a minimum sustenance program in life and stay within their comfort zones doing little to even accept the fact that it’s their own shortcomings that is keeping them back. Even when life gives us a knock or two and is kind enough to show us the way and the error of our ways, we find enough logic to rationalize and let the lesson slip into the comfortable slot of unpleasant occurring.

Take a struggling lawyer. He has passed out recently and raring to go. What can he do to advance surely and speedily? Perhaps become a junior with an already established lawyer and under his umbrella make a mark for himself? To arrive even at this juncture would need a certain modicum of language ability and study of legal texts and some luck. If he has it and he is taken in, the beginning is made. Would he be content with this? His job would be to take orders and labor his heart out to the bone. Quite often giving him tired muscles and a bruised ego. A junior is but a junior. Will he bear with it because of the learning process he is going through and grow or will his vanity refuse to take this position so low in the pecking order and quit and move into a situation closer to his comfort zone? And what could this be? An independent status struggling to exist but at least his own boss!

Scurrying back into one’s comfort zone is a natural and primary tendency. This is at all levels; mental, emotional and physical. Laziness influenced by arguments from our ego wins over effort most often. Change means learning and changing habits and this requires a concerted and very conscious effort. Is this sustainable in real life? Why disturb the status quo?

Take for instance the status of most marriages. Is it a made-for-each-other existence or a compromise where we learn to coexist for the comforts of a home? There are wives being battered but they continue to stay put. There are husbands being nagged to death but they continue to stay put. There are millions of people stuck in jobs and situations they hate but doing very little to take the next step that will take them to better their existence. How does one explain this? Simple: It is so much simpler to live and continue within one’s existing known comfort zones.

Let’s look around us. How many people are bothered to improve their communication ability yet never failing to complain that nobody understands them? How many are complaining that there are no avenues to progress in their lives yet failing to take any initiative whatsoever except grumbling? How many of us are constantly criticizing the other guy or blaming fate for all the ills and happily wasting time to make the world hear our version over and over again?

This is not only the soft option but also the option of cowards who prefer to scurry back into their zone of comfort at the first hint of troublesome effort like frightened mice into their mouse holes.

SAY “YES” TO LIFE

Life has a way of entering our lives before we have any say. We are conceived and put out to pasture and once out there what else can we do but say “yes”. The first few days and years we have no recollection of but from what we can see from the miracle of life and bawling around us, it is a time when we were carried, fed, cuddled and taken care of. Somewhere this memory has been nagging us and we as adults know that there is a better way to live this life.

The dream is to find the magical fountain that will give back those days without cutting out the adult fun. The spoil sports are the other adults. Why does it have to be that whenever people get together, the social dynamics can get complicated?

And some do seem to find this fountain so it is worthwhile looking for it.

All of us have been in love. Remember those moments when the traffic always moved smoothly, spring was perennially in the air, the meal was always perfect and the object of our love was not only perfection incarnate but gave us all the cuddles and caress we could take? There was promise of joy and happiness in the air. More to the point in this state we are saying “YES” all the time. So it proves that this state is possible but then as we know life happens.

There is this little devil of selfishness & self-centeredness that acts as spoil-sport. Giving to be a joy has to be a two way effort. The world in the state it is, cannot take too much giving without wondering what the heck it is all about. Whatever the Christian Love theory may say, giving the other cheek does not work out very pragmatic in the end.

Life is what we make of it. Well then, what is the pragmatic way?

I would say that we take cognizance that we have influence in a given small crowd; let us worry about this crowd. Let us also not forget that The Universe or The Lord if you refer to call HIM, put us here and we are serving a purpose. The first rule we should exercise in our life is to act without “calculation & pre-meditation”. The second being: leave, absolutely leave, the rest of the world alone. Another rule that I have found by experience is to be honest with yourself and your neighbor. Say your piece whatever it is. If you can’t afford it say so. If you want something ask it. No hypocrisy.

If you are living for “Appearance’s sake” then you are digging a hole which will eventually become your grave. This requires a bit of intelligent analysis of the situation, which means also that to say yes properly we should learn to also say no. People are selfish just as we are and out to grab whatever they can and we should not promote this attitude for as I would say it corrodes the soul of the receiver and makes the giver miserable.

I really don’t think these lectures are required. Adults will never make good teachers; there is too much of their own personal agendas involved in their lecturing. It is the children who have the answers. See their attitudes and their approach to life; sincere, always trying and learning new tricks and sharing. There is “newness” in their personal atmospheres and I feel this is the secret to it all.

Emulating them will give us the Key to the joy we are looking for and the YES will get incorporated in our lives without trying; but I warn you, the rest of the world will think of you as immature and unreliable and often “coarse”, especially when you deny them something. But then you are here to say YES to your life and not theirs! Have courage!! The Universe is with you!!!

Promote yourself.

I have observed that there are at least five distinct levels in human interactions; be it professional or personal. All these levels have very separate styles of behavior codes, language abilities, dress codes, philosophies and attitudes. Aspiring professionals who are aiming to rise and change levels or wish to interact with people of levels different from their own, need to understand these factors and change their disposition accordingly to be accepted otherwise they will missopportunities and never beequal to the peer group. In today's environment where we are interacting with people from different cultures, this subject has taken on a very important facet.

If you have not taken this factor into consideration for your plans of your advancement or even business operation, then you will face critical hurdles to reach your goals. To be brutally honest, you may miss out totally.

The problem is that it is not easy to find guidelines as to how to go about this change. It also follows that nobody really wants to offend anyone by pointing out the irritants and very rarely do we have the acuity and precision in our observation to make note of things by ourselves. Then it is also a fact that we have our amour proper to live with. Very few individuals would be ready to accept that it is their own behavior patterns that are clashing with others and if they are failing to make the grade, it is perhaps their own fault.

The situation begins like this: We are brought up in a particular group and we learn everything from this group with rarely any exposure outside this group. Later as a final product we have learnt only the habits of our own group and are highly knowledgeable and mobile with a certain amount of command within this well known structure of our group.

The big question is how to know and learn about other groups and what is liked and disliked. You have only two possibilities. Either you are born and brought up within the group you aspire to be in or you get into this group as a junior and soon, as fast as you can, learn the patterns of the group. Luck can play a big part if by some quirk of fate you can get within your intended group even at the periphery, the job becomes considerably easier. Watching particular movies can help if you take them as audio-visual education.

But all this would make sense only if you first wanted a change. Normally we are very comfortable in our skins and we try every trick we know to impress and we do it with absolute confidence; never realizing that we are only alienating ourselves from our goal in the process.

Let me give some instances.

One dead give away to our social status is our language and how we deliver our speech. Properly schooled people are trained very early to enunciate clearly, deliver their speech slowly, speak softly, let others finish their sentences, listen and enjoin in conversation only if necessary and other such fine points. In contrast, we have those who mumble, speak fast, loudly and use a dialect which is particular to their own set and see nothing wrong in cutting people off. This may be unacceptable to many.

You would have certainly noticed how many of us tend to interrupt others; for instance you are talking to your manager and another executive comes and starts speaking to him as if you were not there. And often worse, the manager listens to him. This happens so often in shops and public places that I wonder what happened to the basic etiquette of allowing the other to have his say. A moment’s wait won’t be the end of the world. Now this behavior maybe normal in the everyday scheme of things, but at the senior level it will offend.

Most often people expound with great panache supremely confident that they are making a mark with no second thought that their hold on the subject matter is not extremely solid and their language is not sufficiently polished to express the matter properly either. What can you do with these people? They make it so difficult to communicate with. Even if someone wanted to be paly with them or take them under the wing, it is difficult as they simply do not understand; the language barrier is so great and they often worsen the situation by becoming argumentative. I have often encountered the backlash: “Uncle-ji you do not understand!” There is very little to say after that and the relationship effectively ends there.

Dressing is another feature which needs to be attended to. One has to understand the difference between leisure wear and official attire, public dress and homely attire etc. The tastes of people and their cultural bends are easily shown by their choice of colors and cuts. Most people would say today that they do not care and they have their lives and will live the way want to. This is fine by me. Only the point here we are making is that it cannot be so when you are entering a group on which your livelihood or networking depends.

The solution to this enigma is that you find a sincere teacher who will point out the flaws in your mannerisms and explain to you the fine points of interaction meaningfully directed to you personally, preferably in private. Books and lectures may open your eyes but they rarely help you change your long ingrained habits. This needs persistent hammering and you will need will power and courage to stand up to it.

Come, Say Something Nice

Out of ten people who speak about you, nine would have nothing good to say. The one person, who has something good to say, will say it badly. – Pascal.

I read this saying in original in French sometime 40 years ago. It was quite an eye opener.

It is a sad statement about human nature that we find it agonizingly difficult to speak well of others. Praise has to be forced out of our hearts like a breathing exercise. You would remember the times you were asked to say thank you when you received a gift or card and that was the last thing you wanted to do. I have always wondered why speaking well of anything comes only with so much effort. Why do we want to hide what is in our heart?

Then I understood the value of human comments. It is as good as nil. People, as I understand, have two ways to see others; the first is with compassion as the Dalai Lama often reiterates-then you see everything with a forgiving and admiring eye. Like a child looking at the new world with wondrous astonishment. The second is the more normal way in which after the world has bashed and squeezed us up somewhat, our shoulders bent double with the heavy load of cares, we turn cynical and can’t see anything good in any situation, thing or act and person. We see ill intent all around us and its expression.

Well there is definitely room for improvement in all of us. We are not always very honest with others or ourselves and then we go to inordinate lengths to mask the truth of our hearts; often from ourselves too. We have funny convoluted reasons for conducting many of our business. This saying was sent to me by a friend recently and it speaks volumes about human nature: "Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them."

I would have thought this was self-evident. Does it need to be said?

Well we need to focus on the positive aspect. Some people do live in imaginatively speaking, clear-glass matter of fact, sensible and nothing-to-hide way. They have many happy stories to relate and are prepared to share their time and possessions. They see life as progressions of events designed to bring happy and happier times. They have nothing to hide and couldn’t care if whatever is visible is seen by others. They have realized there are billions of similar entities out there and they are nothing special to gloat about. Self-aware and humble; they are lovely people and these are the people who will always have something nice to say about you.

But alas they are rarely trained professors of languages and have no training in PR techniques. They are woefully inadequate in expressing themselves in a precise and calculated language that would leave no doubt in the mind of the listener; something that leaves no room for double entendres or further distortion. Because it is a quirk of life that if anything can be distorted, the embedded prejudice in people will do so and more often than not do it in such a way that a lingering perfume of negativity and is left behind.

Discuss It without Anger

Have you noticed how some people can speak their part only in outbursts of some kind? They would be otherwise nice, sane people going about their lives in a circular routine that they have built around themselves. Yet, under their calm exterior there is always some undercurrent of judgmental thoughts flowing quietly which, keeps them perpetually irritated about something or the other.

I have noticed this in myself when I am driving. The need to focus on whatever others are doing is so strong to avoid collisions because in Delhi one drives by the rule that if there is space one has to go in and fill it up or worse if you have a bigger car, your self-importance gives you the right to go ahead first. This creates a situation where you have to drive with one eye on the rear-view mirror and the other three eyes on the left, front and right. Of course there is also this continuous analysis that is humming inside the brain. And every now and then, the perceived stupidity of the other guy vents itself out in expletives.

So coming back to our original premise, we need to consider the whys and why-nots of the situation. The question is why some people speak their part only in anger; and this is not just anger, it is also laced with a heavy dose of indignation. Indignation presupposes that the person has been wronged and has been made to suffer due to the unworthy actions of the other guy. This also presupposes that some sort of judgment has already been passed. So, I can safely say that the person speaking out in hot flashes is not being pragmatic, he has not bothered to listen to both sides of the story and feels so strongly that he has been wronged that there is no space for discussions in the situation. The situation is exacerbated by the person’s need to not only prove his point but also teach the other malefactor a lesson even if it has to be drilled into his head. This I suppose is what they call road rage when it happens on the highway.

How we tend to work ourselves into lather for very often nothing is beautifully illustrated by a story I read many years ago. It was titled “Want to borrow a jack?”

A motorist had a puncture somewhere out of town and was appalled to discover that there was no jack in his car. Now at the unearthly hour of 4 in the early morning where would he find the assistance needed and that too in the middle of the countryside? Let’s not forget that this story comes from a time when cell phones were not invented. So although his head was brimming with anger against all the people who could have done this to him, he was cool-headed enough to look around. In the distance he noticed a light and decided to walk towards it. Soon it became obvious that he was approaching a farmhouse. This got him thinking. “What if the farmer does not open the door? He must surely be sleeping and will be upset at being disturbed at this hour of the night. But my need leaves me with no option but to knock at his door so to hell with the farmer. The farmer can always say no and that will be that and people are so unhelpful anyway nowadays. Etc, etc, etc.” By the time he reached the farmer’s door he had already worked out his case against the disturbance he was going to cause. If only the poor city-slicker had any idea that farmers get up rather early and are generally the most helpful kind of people on earth as they are deeply in tune with nature’s vagaries. Anyway this motorist knocks on the farmer’s door and the farmer opens the door. But before anything could be said the motorist blurts out:” Now are you going to give me the jack or not?”

Why are we in such a hurry to prejudge? Why do we feel superior enough to be judgmental with so much righteousness? The other day I was back in my old school which is an Ashram where the morning hours are for meditation and no other activity is encouraged especially in the meditation area and near it. I was sitting there; it was six in the morning. Just then an old lady comes, sees the latest newspaper daily around nearby, left by another ashramite and asks me to tell her the cricket score. So I pick up the paper and open it. After all if the old lady is more interested in cricket scores and meditation is not her forte, who am I to judge? But before I could do my good karma, an old teacher of mine passes by and immediately scolds me for reading the paper in the meditation area! Boy, I was so amused. It was so much like my childhood when I was being scolded for something or the other, never heard nor given a chance to explain. I left immediately and went to the sea beach nearby to cleanse myself of the indignation that this teacher had injected in my atmosphere.

I can understand the young bursting out but one would expect much more from people who have seen a whole lifetime on this earth. When older people behave in this immature manner I do wonder if they have learnt anything at all; especially from people like senior executives, teachers and those in positions of authority. Our courts would not be so filled with cases and divorces would diminish in numbers. Everyday skirmishes would turn into studious discussions.

Why can’t people, even if they have been apparently wronged, keep their cool and state their case without anger? Are they incompetent and hiding their incompetence under the banner of outrageousness? I am reminded of this saying by Isaac Asimov –“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” And I will leave it here for you to judge!

Managing one’s Schedules - Megha Pushpendra sir, would love to have your views on time management.

There you have pressed the right buttons. Here I go. The first thing that comes to mind is this: Can time be managed?

When you say time management, I would think that you would like to control it like you do a river by either damming it or dredging or cleaning or whatever that we can do to it to make it work for you. It never occurred to me that this could be done with time. I thought about this for some time and I still don’t get it.

Perhaps what you wish to say is “How can you manage your own self?” considering the time at your disposal. This would seem the more logical approach and the only one I can think of. Now if this is what you mean, then I wondered why ask me; not that I am averse to the idea. It is flattering to know that somebody cares about my thoughts enough to ask me. Millions of words by so called experts are being written and floating around and you still feel I may have something to say that would matter? How refreshing!

So let’s discuss in this in all seriousness. Time cannot be managed. All those who complain that they do not have time know full well that they are showing off their self-importance. This is one way of showing that they have more of this world in their grasp in comparison to all the others who form a very large group on this planet who have nothing to do and are either looking for work and opportunity or are not “clever/able/qualified” enough to merit any attention in this world of ours where “IT” shows if you have it.

Then there are the hapless people who are a little wooly up there. They wake up with lovely intentions but then even a small butterfly can make them forget everything else and can make them first run for their camera and secondly after the butterfly. A few flowers on the way simply dash the entire timetable of the day to the ground and that is that. Now it is left open to your imagination if a butterfly can do this what would let us say would happen if a child needs this person or even an adult came around needing solace?

It would not be difficult to infer from the above that it is all in the mind. It is all relative to what we consider important and would like to spend the available time on. Then there is also the question of habits. We are more creatures of habits than we really wish to acknowledge. We act on impulses that have been inculcated into us by our surroundings and education. We give importance to these impulses and make them our flight-plan. They then decide the ETA. You are a virtual prisoner.

If you are unhappy with the way things are working out in your day to execution of time, then you need to look into all those tiny mental blips that point your way and chart your action plan. If you are not ready to look into that direction, then just forget it. Enjoy your 24 hours and get up next morning for another day of the same. A small example here would make my words clearer.

You are reading a book. You are engrossed in it. It is so interesting that it has you transfixed. Once in while you do remember to look at the clock. The hubby will come home, the children will want dinner. Ok. Ok. You are aware of all this. But few pages more – let’ say let’s finish this paragraph… well I could safely stretch it to the end of the chapter and so on so forth till you have royally messed up your time-table. So that is that and there is no way to recover lost ground. All you can do is forget it and go on with your life. Just order a pizza and have a party. The kids will love it. The hubby will just be happy to have a bite of something-anything, instead of trying to keep awake with coffee. The book has more management control, over you than you on it. You were party to it. Where is the problem?

So what do you say? Shall we forget this utterly pointless subject?

The Center of the World

DoesThe Whole WorldMatter?

There is always a small period in our lives when we become “Important”. This is the time when we get into the self-important mode. We are in our eyes not only in control but, often, as we perceive the cause and effects around us, we are certain, even if the world may not wholly agree with us, of being the source of the happenings. In a microcosm, we are not part of the Creation, but see ourselves as part of the creator effect.

This is the time when our vanities are ballooning. We are still young as far as a life-span goes. At the age of youth in the twenties, it is easy to see ourselves as giants with infinite capacities for getting things done. We can take it all on. The body is strong, the mind is full of certitudes and nobody is immune to our charms. Then we decide what has to be done, and soon we get it done. We are almost mystified by our own image, although at the back of our minds a small question mark haunts us; why does not the world see us in our true light? It is galling. Here we are, ready and willing, with all the knowledge and strength to put everything in the right order, if only people would listen!

Then, there are those who are luckier than others. Who are born with a silver spoon, well in this category we can include even those with a brass spoon with silver plating. They come into a world, which is already structured, and whatever they see or touch is theirs. Even when they stretch their five senses to their limits, they can only see themselves at the center of things and of course, in full control. They can manipulate everyone and every instance. They continue to grow into this environment and gradually realize their potential for creation or mischief as their nature leads them.

Soon, they are alienating themselves from everything. But they do not know it yet. Whenever they come across a person or situation they do not like, they simply cut it out. They can well afford to.

To the whole world they come across as self-centered, arrogant, and closed personalities but they could not care. Even the world has to grudgingly acknowledge that they are good and able and if circumstances so need, a bit of groveling up to them is ok.

So, what next? The truth is we are only a small cog in a big wheel in a very huge machinery. Try to imagine the immensity of it all. For once, just for an experiment, go out in to the night, alone, and watch the firefly. There may be hundreds, but focus on one. Then think, how many nights have come before and how many will come later. How long does a fly last even in this one night? How long do you have to sparkle?

Then comes the day when the waves we have unleashed become tidal and lash us back. The distress makes us pause and reflect. I say - Come out of your cocoon. Listen to the world around without having to comment or direct anything. Let the world run itself for a moment. There will be withdrawal symptoms but tolerate them just for a while and then you will know peace and really see! The world that did not matter up till now, will suddenly start to matter!!

How to Isolate Oneself

Do you like to live your life your way? Then you must absolutely cultivate the art of not listening. Don’t be fooled by all these lectures on listening that will improve your life by making you more efficient and bringing in more value to your existence. It is absolute baloney. Listening never did any good to anybody. It only brings duties and commitments and who wants any of this?

Look at this guy hogging the road or even that pedestrian walking merrily in the centre of the road. Both have been taught and told, I am sure often enough, to be a little more “giving” and considerate; if not for others at least for their own selves. From their behavior you would believe that they both acquired white hairs by standing under the sun. Then coming down to the immediate present, no amount of honking seems to affect them. Are they deaf? No sir, nothing of this. They are tax payers so they have rights and the roads are for public use; although I would keep my fingers crossed when making this statement.

The art of not listening has some techniques that can be mastered by anybody.

First obviously is to go deaf. Refuse to allow a certain level of higher frequencies to titillate your nerves in the ear. What will the other guy do? Hang you by the nearest tree?! There is really no point in being considerate and raising our blood-pressure levels, is there?

Second, learn to convert every exchange into an argument. Put the other guy in the position to having to clarify. Any stupid remark will do as long as it is made as an accusation. Keep this up till the poor other guy gives up and rearranges his life to cut you out. The problem is that this technique is used mainly in marriages where cutting out is not so simple. It would be better then, to learn to grin and bear it.

Third, treat every question as an incriminating statement and answer accordingly with a lot of anguish and hurt in your voice and demeanor. Your words should show it by saying immediately in response something like: you are always shouting at me. The idea would be clearly to put the other guy on the defensive; the subject then getting conveniently brushed under the carpet. The other guy will eventually realize that he has been had but what can he really do except grind his teeth?

Fourth, be the nice guy. Grunt a yes sounding something and almost certainly do your own thing unless it is blatantly against your good health policy.

Fifth, is by changing the activity. Let us say you are watching the TV and your partner starts speaking to you.. Immediately start fluffing the pillow with a loud noise then say sorry and then ask him to get you a glass of water. This does require a little presence of mind but practice makes perfect.

Sixth, just lose your temper. This will act as rumble-strips and slow the other fellow down and even embarrass him. Take advantage of the situation and accuse him of everything you can think of. It will not only take care of the present situation but make him downright scared for even daring to open his mouth in the future.

Happiness is in not being considerate.

Relationships. Old and New

Don’t be afraid to let go of stale and negative relationships.

A discussion began on the art of mending relationships. But being the cynical guy that I am, I was not convinced on the validity of the subject matter chosen for the discussion. For as crystal clear it can be, the first question is why did things in the relationship come to the impasse where they needed to be mended at all; secondly I am prone to ask rather insensitively if there was a relationship at all and if you are not better off without the relationship hanging around your neck.

Humans are very imperfect and that is putting it kindly. We are a mixed up lot. At any given time so many factors are jostling for space in our considerations that if Martians were peeping at us, they would say we are awfully confused and inconsistent even at the best of times.

It will be called improper but it has to be said that we are opportunists. Find me one earthling who will squarely deny that he was never tickled pink by the slips and misfortunes of others; what a sense of superiority it gives and in case of mishaps it is free slapstick comedy. We love to have a hearty guffaw at the expense. A certain level of insensitivity is often shown openly which canmar relationships. If we reign in our propensities to insult, spew venom and laugh at others it is because we know that it could turn out to be extremely injurious to our well being. But when safe we do let ourselves go. It is another matter the recipient of our amusement may be hurt to the point of retaliation; quite a lot of people do.

Well whatever the reason; inadvertently or willfully if some drama was enacted that resulted in a relationship to be torn asunder then the first question to be asked is what happened. If it was a planned move to break the relationship then there is nothing except good riddance to be said. If the instance was some of sort of accident then there is only one thing to do. Quickly apologise and rectify matters; if the other permits you. There is no reason on earth to convince a battered ego that it may have been an accident. Then one must face the fact that accident or not, the loss of prestige was real and humans don’t forgive so readily.

Then I have a special view of my own. It is my contention that we are out to grab from each other the most we can. Mostly, personally speaking, it has only brought me tribulations. Why not let a broken relationship be? Take it as a sign from providence. Do we really need too many relationships? My own bent is towards a highly selective choosing of friends and let the other contacts slip into oblivion. The logic is simple. If they need me they will come to me. If I need them I will go to them. Rarely anyone wishes to continue with a relationship that has no benefit in it.

Drifting apart is a natural law.

I even go to the extent of breaking willfully certain relationships that have been giving me a crick in the neck. I have often exacerbated an issue that effectively closed avenues for reconstructing the relationship. Often even when the other party tries hard to come over with a new gambit to start all over again, I just play deaf and dumb. There is enough precedence in life to support this attitude. There has to be some reason behind the sayings – Good fences make good neighbors - Treat every man as a gentleman until he proves himself otherwise. – Absence makes the heart grow fonder. – A snake is better left in the bush etc etc. Relationships kept for formality’s sake only give irritating rashes.

I have a relation who is very nice and when we meet he has a lot of gossip about others; not always the good kind. So it is safe to assume that he would be speaking of me to others too and not always in very kind terms. This was confirmed by one of my cousin sisters one day. After that I deliberately, somewhat slowly though, started keeping a distance and pointedly made it clear that we are managing well without his attention. No harm done. We are still on each other’s list of invitees but we meet rarely. Both are quite content with this state of affairs. I have created this chasm with many relations who had outlived their usefulness. Every relationship dropped gives few more kilos of peace of mind. I put all my energies in supporting and nurturing my relationships that are happy ones.

Neighbors are the worst offenders. In the name of neighborhood-brotherhood, they impose, intrude and try more often than not to get more than what politeness may deem right. I remember when we had moved in to this neighborhood, a carpenter was working with us. In my absence a neighbor came and took him away for fixing his curtain rod. Not only no permission was taken but he did not pay the guy for his services; later on he tells me that he was sure I would not mind. How selfishly presumptuous!

Other incidences followed.Eventually I decided to tick them off at the first opportunity which arrived soon enough.They were clearly annoyed, told me in no clear terms that I should not consider myself very hoighty toighty and if I will be belligerent they will answer by being tenfold. I kept my cool and I told the old guy that he was my elder and he should behave that way. He kept on ranting his tune in his wild tone while I kept on repeating the same sentence - "You are my elder. Please behave that way." After about the seventh time he relentedand walked off. Later he tried to become friendly again but I refused to accept his greetings and never responded to any overture. Things are now cool and contented between us.

There is a definite case of not fighting against reality and destiny. Make the effort to keep good relations but if they break nevertheless then let them slip into their natural equilibrium.

Complete the Job Is Your Commitment Total?

We were discussing Karmic ramifications of our actions. There is so much that is said, can be said and will be said on this subject I suppose; all hearsay at best and no one really in a position to contradict each other. So it is one of the best conversation topics where you can expound as much as you feel like and as every action is particular to itself and special to the next individual, the discussions can go on and on safely with no change resulting in any form except the expounder goes home very proud of himself, of his grasp of life’s essentials and his wisdom with somewhere at the back of his mind this thought that he has impressed his listeners and made a mark!

Then I came across these few words from OSHO(RAJNEESH) of Pune. He says we suffer because we do not live whole-heartedly. All our actions tend to be incomplete and sort of hover around us waiting for their culmination. What I understood from this and concur is that we are busy doing too many things at the same time and doing all of them badly; thereby laying ourselves open to negative karmic points with pending files remaining open and following us like baying dogs.

This, if I am not mistaken is called Multi-tasking nowadays. A way of working that I abhor. Nothing is done with focus and proper application. Till the last generation this was not a problem as it has become today. The culprits that have brought on this state of affairs are squarely the mobile phone and the laptop. Earlier we had to be in the right place at the right time to do whatever was needed to be done. Now we can be everywhere at the same time and do whatever we want at any given time. I think this is awful; the idea should be to do less, live luxuriously and here we are pushing ourselves to an early burn-out by doing more. Humans really need to reorient their philosophies.

One positive aspect of this change in our lives is that it imposed on us the need to ask some questions and therefore some research projects on this subject were undertaken. It was well known before that the average human mind can hardly process more than one activity at a time. Now it seems this is clearly proven by case studies. So this business of multi-tasking is all a lot of nonsense. Let us see how long it will take for the human mass to understand it and use this information in their working styles.

Concisely and precisely it means that the mind can focus on one activity alone at a time; it can listen or talk or drive or type or eat or kiss or whatever. The problem comes when we do certain things by habit and while in the act allow the mind to wander all over the cosmos. We then leave “undone” karmic footprints that drag us back, vociferously demanding that we finish the job or at least learn to do it differently and well the next time or pay for the consequences.

Would you like some examples? Say a man is eating. The food is of his choice and normally he would have savored it to his entire satisfaction. But he is in a hurry because his mind is on the meeting in his office where he aims to make a definite point and he hopes to get a raise from it. There is also the need to be aware of what goes on in the world so he opens up the TV to watch the news. His wife on the other hand has some complaints and reminders and may even be talking to him which as can be imagined he is saying yes-yes to without listening. By the time he leaves, settling down in his car, his phone to his ears his mind is already properly muddled. He has no idea what he has eaten; he has no memory of having eaten at all. He has not grasped any of the news and totally forgotten about his wife. And in all this he has hasn’t had a quiet moment to fully work out his presentation in the meeting which he then does not do too well. The eating, driving and listening in the above episode being totally mechanically habit driven; is this multitasking or multi-shucksing?

As Osho(Rajneesh) explains, the mind not being wholly satiated or satisfied, continues to crave. This may show in excesses like binge eating, passionate affairs, show-off purchases and the like. A veritable vortex is created that can envelope us in its negative impact which then has the effect of creating stress, bad decisions/attitudes and even more stress and eventual misery.

I remember my grandmother with her rosary beads coaxing the Lord to pay heed to her woes with her mind on the pot of lentils on the fire, giving commands to her daughters-in-law. With what result; the Lord not being addressed to properly, did not answer her prayers, the pot of lentils boiled over, the daughter-in-law went to into sulks every now and then which had chain reactions in the households and often tragic tantrums.

The scenario has changed a bit but not the pattern.

Was it, is it all worth it; now, then or ever?

Changing others

How to change such behavior in others to a conscious mode once the reason is understood? Towards this end should we actually try to get into a long 'project' of changing their outlook?

Ref yr Qs: 1) My question is how to change such behavior in others to a conscious mode once the reason is understood?

PK's answer - Why do you want to change others? To bring about change, nevertheless in your relationships, take the right opportunity, give emphatic and clear responses like saying NO you can’t do this - this is not acceptable. When it concerns you personally, one can stop the chain by not reacting and by indicating by your action/inaction rather than words. This is more effective.

2) Towards this end should we actually try to get into a long 'project' of changing their outlook or just take it as their inherent nature and design ways to go about/around it? Also how to control the mind and the pain it causes due to such haphazard (?) actions.

PK's answer- You have mixed up two things. One is your personal life and the second is the life or sharing info for whatever it is worth.

In your personal life you should not try to change anything but yourself. Let the other person follow his destiny as well as he can.

We normally think/decide/judge based on some humanly decided principles/laws/preconceptions; which may be erroneous in reality. The universe is moving with a plan. People do not change readily anyway.

But always make your stand clear and if the other person permits, let him have your explanation.

The second factor is the sharing of info. Just because observations are being shared does not mean it is a long term project to change others. If by destiny's choice some information comes by you and you think it is useful and you put it to use, that is good and the choice is yours.

You do your little bit to help but as my Guru used to say, it is best not to interfere or meddle in other's lives. When you are deeply involved try to bring about the most positive outcome that you can.

If not, just let things be and go on with your life. Do not impose. When you feel you know best, you are already wrong.

Living with new challenges

I start this note with this conversation:

Puntipa Metta

Life is beautiful but sometimes it's boring esp. when there is no new experience. Perhaps experiences make us concentrate.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari

Never let this situation ever happen. When you feel things are stagnating - take willful deliberate steps towards something new.

Puntipa Metta

Thanks GURU. I’ll try to. Still so confused. I believe that there's nothing free .Also experience is both positive and negative . While there's duty and responsibility in additional. I'm afraid of my own capacity.

Pradeep Pk Maheshwari

This is too much rationalisation: a trick by the mind and your subconscient to not shake things up. The physical "body" mind does not like changes - it believes in keeping stuck to the rut of the known world.

We are not here for simply whiling away our time on earth. The Soul is on a mission. It is here with a program to gather experiences.

Therefore whenever we feel that we are getting into a rut and living by habit, a willful plan should be put into execution to bring in new challenges in life. As new as possible; which means for example: Not just changing the car or the color of the car but learning to pilot a new machine like, let us say, a helicopter, even a bus.

The challenge is not only in the skill but also self-discipline and mastery that a new skill requires; specially the interaction with other humans (like your tutor) will require exemplary restrain of our ego and all.

It is of great importance to understand, that those who live with new goals all the time live fuller life and a soul that is happy to continue longer in the same envelop longer. Otherwise when it is stagnating it normally decides to retire.

People who have arrived at much understanding speak about their experiences to help others in a third person style way so that they may realise what is happening and understand and plan their actions better.

If all the "REALISED" people took the position that speaking out their minds was wrong and it would deem to be trying to change others then nothing would have been said, written or done.

Destination life

I have always felt that we are where we are because of a reason. If destiny has brought us to a bridge then it has to be crossed whatever our fears and pain. Often the crossing of the bridge requires training, learning or we can say re-training and unlearning – evolving. The western mind set goes for direct confrontation and looks for alternatives and discovery of new solutions/methods to cross over; which is a good thing.

The oriental method is more passive. It goes inwards looks for solutions by changing the levels of consciousness and changing the route parameters altogether. This also works.

The difference of approach shows clearly in the way both the occident and the orient have evolved in treating sickness and sociological ills.

The western world goes for fast and sharp methods to remove a problem – such as divorce and amputation for example even if it goes against Mother Nature. But this can often result in over-action and greater disruption.

The oriental method is to grin and bear it and go through the fire, hoping that change will come as a matter of destiny by growing out of it by adjusting our psychological priorities in cooperation with Mother Nature. But this can result in inertia and rotting of state of things.

This business of kindness.

Everyone admonishes to be kind. Let love and compassion shine forth through you and all that. Fine. I am greatly happy to see that we have at least graduated to think of kindness as an attribute to cultivate. When I look back at the psychological state of humans in the Middle Ages, not to speak of many cultures which are still suck there, we have to give credit to humanity for opening this Vibration into our thoughts and lives.

Kindness already exists in us. Just see how people behave when their interests are in play. Show someone that he has much to gain through you and you will be overwhelmed with kindness, attention and solicitous gifts. You will also see these gifts evaporate in a whiff of smoke the moment your tap tends to dry up. The other side of the coin is equally prevalent. Humans will be sarcastic, brutal and sadistically hurtful if they feel their interests are protected by this action and specially so if the other party is in no position to defend. Then, considering the degree of helplessness, the vehemence varies.

Unfortunately I wonder how just speaking about it will help. We are made of dual possibilities. Most of the triggers are deeply imbedded in our subconscious and directly activated by the Cosmic Forces.

It is absolutely undeniable in my book that the conscious mind cannot really control anything as instinctive as the need to show-off and vindictiveness.

I am quite clear about how to bring about change in human reactions. We have to inculcate this concept in children when they are still absorbing without judging and then the subconscious will act as its own witness and brake. We need to inoculate the children against the thoughts of hurting by repeatedly repeating to the child that hurting others only brings revengeful actions and reactions and that this hurts them back in the long run. This philosophy should be in their waking consciousness at all times.

Unfortunately our examples leave much to be desired. And let us cut out, with immediate effect all the show of violence we are subjecting our children to and encouraging them to play at it as if it is alright. We are doing the opposite of what is so ardently required.

There is much to be said to instill the idea like: Two can play at a game.

There is no certainty what & how the trigger to a feeling will happen. In our hidden corners are memories and images that make us react in funny ways. So First let us learn to look within, take a little more detachment in our stride; it is easier said than done.

So I repeat my earlier statement:

Everything has a place and normally speaking is in its place. It is just the cruelty aspect. We can always be more humane and avoid killing wherever it is not really part of the natural food chain. Why be unkind, careless or abrasive just to prove a point that you can afford to be so and there is nobody who can touch you in any way. If this is not an exercise in arrogance, what is? The same philosophy goes into everything for example: bringing up the child. Just don’t be cruel because you can be and are in a position to be.

The lucky ones

Some people are really lucky. They have limited needs, simple minds and they don’t suffer with vivid imaginations to bother them with fear and possibilities – good and bad. They always have more than they need and they are quite happy to be left alone to their devices. Their good luck gives them a good job in which they excel because they have no ulterior motives and not much ambition either to compete. Or life provides them in other ways.

It is a life that is full with preoccupations of making the bed and washing the clothes.

This is the reason why their personal relations are at a minimum and they would rather not have people in their lives; yet they are intelligent enough to know that they need others but it is an ongoing battle with their personal world and the world at large.

It is sad to see these people because they allow themselves to be trapped in a limited world in which there is no entry for strangers. They have no need to improve on anything in the world and least of all themselves. It is a lovely comfortable life in which they are content, happy at rearranging furniture instead of worrying about interior design and the next castle they will own.

I have met many of these kinds – even have had to live with them. The first thing I noticed was their ability to ignore all inputs from the world at large. They would simply ignore; this tendency also affecting how they dealt with their health. They refuse to listen to their bodies and tend to permit illness to fester to a point of pain before acting on it; which a conscious person would agree is already too late.

They suffer for it but do not wish to see the connection that their illness may have with their attitude. It is a blissful life until the avalanche hits them –and I have seen this happens in older age when the body can’t take the abuse any more. At this point they fall into depressions or suffer from rages which alienate them even more from the world of friends and well wishers and unfortunately also from their own little world that they have created so arduously.

These people have such strong minds that some of us simpletons would be awed. They are good at making accusations, weaving logic with their wishes so elegantly that virtually everyone feels left out as the more worldly types see existence from other angles. The result is that you either listen to them or shut up. They can argue on till kingdom come. You have to finally give up in exasperation. Suggestions in their world become criticisms and even a hint of it can be the start of a “reaction”.

My way has been to leave them alone, go along with them if I have to but emotionally, mentally, if not physically, keep a distance. Something that they enforce literally anyway; yet deep somewhere these souls are lonely and they so wish to be admired and be friends with the world; it is like a sad movie that you can see but not get involved in.

The torment is real.

They want to be accepted as they are but life unfortunately is as unforgiving as they are.

The Joy in Oversimplification.

We can easily go to an extreme by oversimplifying. To the extent that false can seem true and vice versa.

How this tendency can make us lose view of our reality is a great study in itself.

For instance in management circles, there is a view that: The Good manager has to be somewhat ruthless. This in turn later becomes a license for terrorising employees and not worrying too much about their sentiments.

The food industry is a wonderful example. Food is eaten for what? Nutrition would be the answer technically. Then why is the focus on taste? Because we asked, nay, demanded it.

We have oversimplified our attitude on the basis of this old saying: the proof of the pudding is in the eating! Because the focus is on taste and that is what finally sells the product.

So the marketing people put their heads together and came out with products that taste good consistently- are packaged for long shelf lives and ease of use. For instance yoghurt: When made at home there is always a chance of its not coming up to the mark even with all of mother’s lifelong experience; there are so many factors like temperature and time etc to take into it and no surety. But the yoghurt we buy that comes from the factories is consistently good and good tasting. Why haven’t we asked ourselves how this can happen?

For one because we don’t care. The taste is important and we get value for money. The question of wholesomeness simply never occurs. We satisfy ourselves by saying, that with regulatory bodies, respectable brands behind the making of it and the whole world eating it, it can’t be bad.

Another oversimplification is based on the notion: If I am feeling well then it is curing me.

This is again an over-simplification of major proportions which no-one is prepared look deeply into. The great medical fraternity has a plethora of magical potions that give instant relief. And the illness? It goes merrily on multiplying quietly under the skin on its way.

In the process we have actually complicated our lives. Free from the burden of worrying about cooking and head-aches, we now indulge in activities that go a long way to break our peace of mind and stability of body. What we have done to environment we are living in our quest is another thing altogether.

Mostly oversimplified observations become a crutch for the humans and serve well as good excuses.

For example: If some is good, more is better.

I see oversimplifying as an activity of a mind that does not see the larger picture – worse – does not want to! Life does not, unfortunately come in clear cut simple black or white. There are not only shades of thousands of grays but also many other colors.

Deliver like a laser beam.

Most of us have strong personalities. By strong I mean, with a strong ability to get a lot done.

But like any other powerful device that has to give shape to something that is not yet existing, we need to give this energy teeth to bite into resistance and power to pierce and dissolve all resistance.

Visualise the laser ray or a jet of water.

We have the same power. But we fritter it away.

The mind has terrific mental potential to bring thoughts to cumulation but it needs to focus. This comes by training and certain tendencies that have to be developed. To develop focus and concentration we need to clearly accept that multitasking is not good for creating the penetrating sharpness to make a resounding impact. What the water in the swimming pool does is lot different than what it does in a water cannon.

We need a clearly delineated principle of action and then follow it without wavering.

For instance, you have really no liking for beer or let us say pubs. But friends insist that it will be nice and you let them influence you and you end up going. Another instance in the office – you need the papers now but the personnel have other axes to grind. So you compromise.In the above instances you are compromising and this is something most of us do all the time with the result we end up with a “nice” rather than a strong imperative image.

The water canon image hurts others because it goes against their mushy wishes but then what are you trying to do – please the world or getting your agenda in motion with the least amount of nonsense and wastage?

Think and act like a saber. Either do not take it out or if you have taken it out do not just wave it around. Learn to first use it properly and then make every swish count. It is similar to any activity like Shooting arrows, Fencing, Wrestling or whatever.

We seem to be able to do everything except being kind to each other.

When you can give up your mental and emotional attachments to what has to be, how it has to be, when it has to be, why it has to be, you open the door to the Holy Spirit. When that energy, the energy of life, light and love enters your world, your life becomes more than you ever dared ask for.

Ruminating on the conversation I was having on the quality of life, living older, medical assistance and developments and such stuff, I felt that we are not paying much attention to long term effects of our activities. Our approach to life is based on short term gains that clearly may not stand in good stead in the long term. In many cases we are not always aware of the consequences and we adopt practices that with looking back we realize did not help us at all; although they gave us a moment to shine with.Let me put down some examples that come to mind:

Protection from the weather thru heating and Air-conditioning: The body’s own resistance is decreased. Sunstrokes as well as chills are striking easily and faster.

Too much antibiotics: Now it is difficult to treat people with natural medicines and homeopathy and such as the symptoms are not clear and the body has no vitality in it to fight back on its own.

Too much watching things being laid out for us on gadgets: Our own researching abilities and memories have lost the edge and there is an impression of dumbing down.

Foods like factory made microwave dinners: Easy and convenient but no health benefits; rather the opposite.

Using vehicles and machines to move about: Physical lack of use of muscles making people weak and without stamina.

From a very general view of things, all the scientific interventions made thru the brilliance of minds coming from the better educated and tech based worlds, one word stands out: "Side-effects".

There are just too many and none of them praiseworthy.

I think all this progress has only made people sicklier, & dumber.

The argument that people are living longer is so immature - we do not have a good reason to live longer.!!

Well, in most cases, local lore has all it needs and we should adopt the old formulas from where ever we are..

India has the distinction of having every kind of medical discipline. I use formulas & preparations sold over the counter from Allopathic, Ayurvedic (the systems in the south of India are different from those of the north), Homeopathic and Unani systems + Shiatsu- together they are magic

As a naturopath I just don’t see the value in many of the new drugs and therapies. As a follower of the Karmic path, I am quite comfortable with death and destiny. Sickness also pushes us to look within and develop faculties and abilities that are often amazing and needed for the evolution of this earth. Quite often habits and attitudes have to be drastically changed. So, until I fully understand the game Mother Earth is playing, I would not want to interfere too dramatically.

The self-destruct button.

A thought of compassion because I suffer from the pain I caused.

When I see pics of castles, I see the isolation of the kings. How far away from reality and their people they must have been?!!!

We are born with laughter in our life. We feel so light and content with the world we are in. We grow up with great hopes.

These hopes than turn into great wishes and we are so certain there would never be anything in our way to stop our wishes materializing.

The world is so wonderful. It invites you to go forth and meander; plant the trees and garden.

So with great hopes and certainty in our infallibility we go ahead to build our castle.

We are so intent on building our castle that we forget the way and others who are there with us. We do end up building our castle and then soon realize that we have also locked ourselves in.

After looking around for the past 60 years, I see only one thing: that we are all living with a “self-destruct button” in our hands.

Life can flourish when we water it with care and compassion but observe around –we fill it more with self-indulgence, prejudice and segmentation. Our need to be seen as king is more important than be accepted as a person.

We let lose our anger, disdain and biting words and then wonder why this world is such a malefic place.

I wish this truth had been taught to us early so that we could have created a city for all of us, rather than just a castle for ME.

This business of life: Quotes and Comments…….

The mind is like a box. Soon we fill it up and call all the goodies "My Posessions". We become inordinately proud of all the valuables we have there-in. So much so that we refuse to entertain an exchange or change.

Why is it so important to be "Never Wrong"?..... and to prove the others “Always in error”?

Silence and quiet - think well in silence before acting

By painting everything clearcut in black and white we do a disservice; specially when we compare and lay them side by side with our prejudices. There are always two sides to everything and many shades in between.

There is a great freshness in the impudent beauty of the intelligent and learned novice.

A good teacher is like a well. The well couldn't care who is drawing water and does not go all over the place asking people to look for its water.

Until we learn to see life with objectivity, don’t expect much. People are afraid to see the bitter side of life even though somewhere in a deep corner of their hidden self they are aware of it.

First we need to accept then alone transformation would be possible. Forcing oneself to look at life with rose-tinted glasses in the name of positivity is equal to escapism.

... the mind sets haven't really changed.

We are still solving problems all over the world by killing the people involved.

It is the cultured moneyed thugs that bother me more. The arrogance of the nouveau-riche is insurmountable and that is where the violence comes from - sometimes deliberately.

We are so programmed to think in a fixed pattern that we do not realise the different stages of relationships and behavior patterns that happens between people & specially the baby and parents. The baby grows but the parents don't always grow with them.

There is always possessiveness, selfish-ends involved in all the decisions that parents take for their children.

Few adults are able to detach themselves from the ownership angle vis-a-vis their children or use emotional blackmail towards their own profit.

People use all kinds of stratagems to interfere in the life of others for personal profit & gain thereby creating irritations and untoward incidents. Often just the need to be clever or taking clever short-cuts or not following certain general rules is enough to create serious accidents and occasions for regret.

We are all growing all the time and our relationships and equations have to change and do change. That is why people come and go in our lives.

But who wants change? Specially when the old pattern is so profitable!

If it is taken as a spiritual experience, these self-centered people are goading us to seek balance by being an irritant and sowers of discord.

The image we maintain for the world at large and the life we lead in reality are always two very different things.

The moment you restrict yourself by needs of society or any other reason like following a philosophy or set of morals or religious precepts, you are projecting something other than your real self.

No flaw is seen and the plan is put into execution with deep confidence in the Universe that things will go along as planned for the simple reason that she wants it so. And she cannot see her wishes not being granted.

The refrain is always “listen to me”. All subterfuges are used to make others see their side of the story – like a little exaggeration or lying. And they use “screaming” as a weapon very effectively if thwarted.

We are so intent on building our castle that we forget the way and others who are there with us. We do end up building our castle and then soon realize that we have also locked ourselves in.

Life can flourish when we water it with care and compassion but observe around – we fill it more with self-indulgence, prejudice and segmentation. Our need to be seen as king is more important than be accepted as a person.

We let lose our anger, disdain and biting words without restrain in serious righteousness. And then wonder why this world is such a malefic place.

The mass of humanity is still operating from the level of physical-habit-instinctive mind, sensations and needs; the emotional mind adds to the complexity of everyday needs. The mental mind is actively in cahoots with these two and does only what these two demand - supplies them with justifications & shows them the means.

Errors hurt our self-esteem and often great sadness too envelops us from the chain of events. This is the moment that for a while we stop to reflect and this reflection is the first step towards learning from within.

Humans have this great need to go out and earn loads of something that they can go and exchange for loads of other things. Where will they find time; as it is there are only 24 hours, and they can’t find time for sleep!

We are more self destructive than we would ever agree to. It is so stupefying how some people constantly misconstrue everything to fit into their anger mode.

What do we ever know? People who have been married for decades often never know certain deeper feelings and thoughts about their partners.

Some words or image from the Guru that is right for us always hits us when we get started on the way. Later it may plane out till the balance between your inner spirit gets ready for change with the outer being.

Why do some people put so much effort in being unhappy by constantly raking the past and deliberately dwelling there; even when there is no reason to do so? They not only make it a matter of pride but also use the past to blackmail events and people around them emotionally and this can never really be a constructive act.

The idea of love and "happiness" from selfish humans is ridiculous. We serve each other's purpose. No more. No less.

It is the ability to be our own witness and to be able to see at ourselves as another that gives us power to improve and better our selves. This gives objectivity.

The Sufi way: -All, everybody, all of them - are teachers they are all around us. Whenever a word, story, phrase "hits" you, see it as a teacher speaking to you.

Live Consciously - do every act with absolute awareness and keep an eye on your thoughts and wishes. This is all that needs to be done as an integrated way. Every second of the time.

Self pity is a huge hole. People wallow in it because sentimentally they find support from others. So this brings us to the next step - who to associate/live with and who to avoid?

Some people are really lucky. They have limited needs, simple minds and they don’t suffer with vivid imaginations to bother them with fear and possibilities – good and bad. They always have more than they need and they are quite happy to be left alone to their devices.

It may be the information age but nobody is reading or bothering to inform oneself. Perseverance is weakening and tempers shortening. It is a sad age.

There is much to read, easily available but lesser number of people actually bother to make the effort to read – they are happy with the pictures and a few headlines.

Yes. I see whole lives spent in policing others. Looking for faults and getting irritated and irritating others. Just so any focus from oneself can be avoided. And then feel superior as well.

Do you know anyone closely who carry "Resentment" as a crown?

They give the impression that there is no way that the world can ever please them.

There is an imperative need to stand out; vanity insists. But it is shadowed by an imperative fear of being alienated from the crowd.

Consider: When my time comes what will I be taking along with me and what shall I be leaving behind.

I have learnt much only because some kind teachers went out of their way to take me under their wing.

Let us keep our doors open to every person and instance that comes to us in askance and needs us as a teacher or friend. If we are afraid of being involved then it is a mistake.

Why do all the elders, without fail, always show their concern by noticing how weak or frail you have become!

This reminded me of a quote by Richard Greenberg: “There’s a vanity to candor that isn’t really worth it. Be kind.”

The tendency to think for others is in all of us. It is a kind of arrogance that is terribly well couched. In the guise of a “DOING GOOD” mask of being kind, nice and helpful, we permit our egos full liberty to interfere in the lives of others.

We behave like Supermen, blinded by our own thoughts of indispensability.

Everybody has so much to say. Everybody knows so much and understands so little; this is the crux. We are surrounded by second-hand information and wisdom and we are actively perpetuating it as our own.

How speedily faults are found in the

statements of others; as if

superciliousness is in fashion.

Jostling and pushing and behaving even in a crowd as if nobody else was there is a gift that only we have.

Our propensity to ignore what goes against our wishful-ness is astounding.

Today when a smile is coming your way, you immediately think in terms of ‘Now, what does this guy want?’

Does becoming friends with our children make us into weak dependants?

Will our manliness be shadowed and emasculated by letting our child stand tall along with us?

Let us ask ourselves quickly and sincerely if we have not allowed ourselves to be desensitized, become callous and somewhat sadistic?

Look around closely. How often do you see people agreeing and accepting each other and in comparison how often we are crossing each other out?

I do remember being scolded often for misdeeds but I don’t remember one incident where I was made to understand what I had done wrong.

In the heart of hearts everybody is fully aware of his/her errors and shortcomings. Owning up errors would in my opinion only make others see our greatness and our magnamity.

We subsist on hope and pray intensely but selfishly, have long discussions but rarely take the initiative.

Success brings with it the problem of too much.

The world is what it is and we need to accept it as it is although we don’t have to like it.

We can reduce our stress by cutting out all that can be cut out. Learn to ignore. Running the world is not our responsibility.

Go back to the child in you. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Don’t overdo andkill yourself but also don’t just sit there. It will kill you anyway.

Create a small impenetrable corner where you can be yourself. Let the world go to Jericho if it wants to.

Two very self-defeating habits that I feel are the worst. One is the fact that our impatience is so acute that we do not think twice to butt in a conversation and the second is that we do so without ensuring that anyone is listening to us or not.

We are quite certain about our wisdom and abilities and we even prove it and justify ourselves by quoting earlier “Greats & Gurus”

Subconscious patterns, inculcated since the day we are born are deeply embedded in us and we have to literally fight against their hold on our everyday lives.

Their opinions are final, their arguments are full of holes and their attitudes are pompous; not that you could dare oppose or even try to put in a word edgewise.

They “Demand” respect as a right. These grand guys see others as totally incapable nincompoops and in their anger there is an element of disgust at the incompetent lowly oafs they have to live with.

Balance is the operative word; Work, rest, sleep, laughter, hobbies, friends, family and all that have to be mixed judiciously with ambition and responsibilities.

In our calculations we always forget that the world is in constant forward movement. We are just too warped up in ourselves.

If we could, we would want the rest of the world on a tight leash always happily bearing with us while we live with abandon and total unconcern for anything or anybody.

In life we always get the treatment we allow ourselves to be given.

It has always been my contention that what is basically in our subconscious mind comes to our lips.

We look for answers but only those that satisfy our own view or desire will find favor with us.

Showing confidence? If you are certain about your point and yourself, then why not show it?

What is your face saying? Are you sure that your expressions are saying the same things as your words are?

The inhumanity of man towards his own kind is nothing new of note; but visiting our devilishness on the helpless child needs a streak of barbarism beyond the animal in us.

The only way things will change is when we can inculcate into the children this philosophy of concern and care because when one becomes an adult it is already too late.

Failures there will always be. They are part of the learning process. And hopefully they can be kept in the limits of what can be called “affordable”.

Considering that we have only a limited number of years on this planet, whatever work can be avoided is a goal in itself.

It is a wise man who allows himself to flow with the plans of others wherever and whenever possible.

It is as if the human race is not a group but only unconnected singletons, living in isolated boxes with not even an invisible silk thread to bind them. Millions of people living alone together.

Today we have a problem of information overload but none of it seems to penetrate deeply enough into anyone’s consciousness to make a change.

Our misplaced optimism sees Life as only getting better, accidents happen to others and we are doing our best in the circumstances.

It is our karma and destiny that is at fault and all failures can be traced to somebody or something outside our control.

It is very easy to lose one’s temper & go overboard, specially when one is in a position of authority or clearly where the opposite side has no way to retaliate. It feels so good.

Humans are still in a state of insincerity. They are very happy with their cleverness.

Creative people are recruited because fresh talent and creativity is required to rejuvenate the organization but then once “in”, the new recruits are put under pressure to conform to the older and staid rules of thinking and behavior. Alas; this is life!

Once in a position of influence every individual regales in it. Bosses browbeat their juniors, teachers ask for silence, Police order baton charges, husbands batter their wives into submission, mothers-in-laws are already famous for it and wives shut up their husbands nice and proper. Why do we first create a relationship and then go all out to break it?

We certainly need to reduce the irritants around us and often a little show of anger will help in demarcating borders.

What is the most important question bothering you today? The answer to which would change/help-you-reach-your-goal in life.

What in the name of heaven is the hurry? I have never really understood the need to bring speech so hurriedly and in such quantity and intensity in our lives.

I am just amazed at the continuous talking I see around us. How much can we have to say? Don’t these people get tired of talking? After all, where is all this energy that goes into speech coming from?

Being connected has become an addiction. Our callousness is so great that we will not stop from disturbing everybody else around us.

Well I refuse to fall in line. I also follow the rule that visitors will have to shut off the phone at my place as I am not interested in seeing them doing their business while I sit there like a fool watching them; on call to them when they are free to do so!

There is an element of cowardice, inertia, carelessness and irresponsibility in everything and every aspect of our lives and we are extremely comfortable with it.

The positive vibrations can stimulate healing at the basic level where the whole body metabolism defies medical knowledge of today and effectively goes into a self-healing mode.

Certain pieces of music have been tried and evaluated in many cases and studies. There can be no doubt anymore. Mozart’s symphonies have been used to make cows give more milk. Schizophrenics behave better.

Childbirth was found to happen more happily and with less fatigue to the mother with music from Schubert and even our own raags like Bageshwari and Yaman.

Harmonic vibrations are taught in physics in every school. So this concept of using music to alleviate pain and stress is not that far fetched.

The entire social management on this earth is based on the presumption that human being are upright and honest beings loaded up to the gill with positive attributes. Added to this is the blinkered view that the human animal is always looking forward, progressive, dying to excel, reasonable, committed, clear in his mind, basically sincere in word and action.

This attitude needs to be nurtured. If we become too much of the teacher or the disciplinarian we risk alienating the relationship and a heavy price would have to be paid later in life if a great distance and distrust gets created between the parent and child.

The truth is that we stop the child when it is not convenient to us. The child is not here for our convenience. Period.

I know I am being manipulated but then my mother, wife, colleagues and everyone I know is doing it so what is new? I just wait for my opportunity to have my own tantrums one of these days.

There is a resistance to change that creeps in even with the first sentence exchanged. When this is coupled with our tendency to take short-cuts and soft options, we push ourselves into a hole and then pine and mope.

Does not the child have a right to be NOT born?

So I come to my basic premise. THE CHILD HAS RIGHTS TOO. The child has a right to NOT to be brought into this world which is obviously and visually not adequately ready to bring it up!

Living in cramped and often dirty surroundings with no respite in sight and with an underlying subconscious thought that life has dealt them a miserable hand – makes them uncaring.

I have often wondered why as a people we are so callous about the cleanliness of public spaces. When shall we insist on getting the best? Because as Somerset Maugham says: Those who insist on the best normally get it!

To the snobs who think that they can impress others by a show of being busy, I have only a word of caution; you are fooling nobody and eventually even those who are impressed at first, will know that you are bluffing and all your credits will go down the drain.

The subconscious minds forever remain at the age of four at best. Chronologically people age but at heart they are children and show all the psychological traits of kindergarten kids!

Why is happiness so sought after and yet so few seem to have found it? Or is it that we have become a little set in our ways of yearning that there is always something to be discontented about?

The unpalatable truth is that cribbing is one way of showing our superiority. The manufacturers survive on it. They make their fortunes while we sulk.

They can only see themselves moving forward and none to beat them. After all, time and time again have they not proven themselves as top-class and top of the class? It is so surprising to see this smug lot, not willing to acknowledge that a new crop of more-with the-times people are joining the world every year.

Guns come out of the closet at little or no provocation. Lovers throw acid on their beloved because their love is so deep that their amour-propre cannot tolerate a “NO”.

We vociferously condemn prostitution. We even go to the limit of hating these hapless young women as depraved and unfit for being seen in the company of the virtuous who are responsible for keeping the trade going.

So finally what is this talk of virtue and its flaunting if not a trap, a good excuse to look the other way in our virtuous envelopes?

We as a people pride in breaking laws. The guy who can break a law and get away with it considers himself "greater".

The movies have been influencing and teaching the masses for 60 years. Study the story lines of our movies. They all encourage, anger, arrogance, cheating, molestation and all.

Humans today have organized themselves to commercially benefit each other from titillating the baser instincts. They have thereby created a self perpetuating cycle of misery and now of course this is reaching proportions that threaten our own lives.

0 to 60 in 6 seconds or something to that effect; so impressive and so useless. People do get swayed by these clinically presentations that impress but are actually of no factual use.

There are always lesser endowed people than us and when we compare ourselves, we mostly do so with the ones who have less than us.

Let us stop for a while, like we may be forced to do in a hospital bed when we realize that the world runs quite well in our absence. Let us ask for once “QUO VADIS”?

Jobs are taken but we do not give ourselves fully to it, marriages are made but we keep most of our-self back, we register for courses but mentally are elsewhere; in short we want the world to come to us when be beckon but we keep our doors closed.

I raise the points that there is too much freedom to have sex and behaving irresponsibly by having children but not preparing oneself for them either psychologically, financially or intellectually.

How many of us are really thinking and creating anything in our lives? Leave people alone for some time, and they are lost; really lost both in spirit and purpose.

Come out of your cocoon. Listen to the world around without having to comment or direct anything. Let the world run itself for a moment. There will be withdrawal symptoms but tolerate them just for a while and then you will know peace and really see!

A completely well person is rare to find. Humans have never been very careful with the care of their bodies. The industrial development has only expanded the range of misuse.

The wife on her side had a simple explanation: “I don’t think I nag him. He just doesn’t do what I want him to”.

I do wonder why we give so much importance to death and make it such a grim and solemn affair. Why do we reserve the eulogizing for the dead while the living ones who were dying to hear a kind word have to literally die to hear one!

How easily we convince ourselves and concoct up proof to support our thoughts and thinking process to our advantage. We all know what is good and bad, correct and incorrect, right and wrong; that is by our society’s standards but yet when it is in our self-interest we look the other way without any qualm of conscience.

You know your problem and you understand the answer.

Now you will have to use your willpower to listen to your reason.

Just imagine letting ourselves go and becoming one with the universe; will our SELF still exist? But it is a fact that when we let our selfish selves go we do feel a release and a friendlier atmosphere builds up around us.

Humans have a cruel streak. The elements of vanity and arrogance make them vulnerable. Whenever and wherever they get a chance to exercise their power over others, they do - often with sadistic tendencies; from Dictators downwards to the clerk, from the patriarch to the cook, from Director in a school to the bully… just about everyone.

People will not change. No point in wasting our energy on them.

The hold of the subconscious is very strong and most of the time it is quietly & surreptiously running the show. That is why we need to be careful with what children might be absorbing.

Criticizing instead of softly correcting, scolding/beating and doing the thinking for the child instead of letting him discover and play; thereby preempting him at every point are the worst things that leave indelible marks and form his adult nature.

First we stunt their personalities and then ask them to go and make a mark in the world –and that too in our image. How myopic can one get?

It has been my contention that we should learn to let go after the age of 40 and after 60 the letting go should be total; easier said than done though. Not only let go but even withdraw from controlling interests; continuing to live fully at the personal level but ready for the transition that has to come eventually sooner or later.

The first question is why did things in the relationship come to the impasse where they needed to be mended at all; secondly I am prone to ask rather insensitively if there was a relationship at all and if you are not better off without the relationship hanging around your neck.

Normally we are born with a lot of kindness but the harsh condition the child meets later changes the basic nature in many different ways.

It will be called improper but it has to be said that we are opportunists. We are also very easily offended.

Why not let a broken relationship be? Take it as a sign from providence. Rarely anyone wishes to continue with a relationship that has no benefit in it.

If a state of argument exists then the first principle that it is not the truth is already at work. Many people use the vehicle of incrimination to keep the others off guard.

There is not only an element of purposeful insincerity but also a malevolent intent. It is bullying in the most gentlemanly manner.

It is the same old clash of two desire entities that we encounter everyday, everywhere and with everyone, each wanting its own way to the exclusion of consideration for the other.

The trait of accusing and keeping a front of being offended is very common. How did this trait become so dominant in our ethos, I wonder?

It seems as if the partners are forever saying “Be reasonable. Do it my way”.

There are even impossible demands when the partners are taken for granted.

We live much harried lives. What we think, feel and speak about are never the same things. We are hiding so much.

Lets never forget if the other party is grating on our nerves, then we are no angels. Have we ever tried to find out how we are grating on other people’s nerves?

Forgive and forget if you have been mildly wronged.

Show your appreciation often and learn to remain

silent in as many languages you can.

The technique of using arguments to bypass the

main issue is an old one and understood instinctively.

Then there are the “attackers”; I wonder where

they learn the technique from.

So I suppose, they are really being pragmatic.

Deep down they know their worth and their limitations. What can we do? Nothing! They are what they are.

Quite often we are simply blocked by our ego and

refuse to accept that there might be alternatives

to our way of thinking or even a different way to the approach we have opted for. We become possessive

of our thoughts.

What I wish to know is this need of everybody to

explain everything to me. All I have to do is make a statement and the person will start analyzing my

motives and reasons & let me know so.

Humans tend to remember faults and forget the

plus points far faster than we would imagine and

most often the faults get embellished with time.

You are too attached, involved and expecting

too much from your family. This permits them

to hold your life to ransom.

In relationships, if we were truer, honest and

candid, we would not pose nor compromise our

feelings at every step. We would have the courage

to say NO when we want to and only YES when

we really mean it. We would also pay attention

and listen to the other, especially when the other

is trying to say NO.

Pride is what we think of ourselves and vanity is

what we wanted others to think of us Keep

a close watch on your thoughts and try to

fit them into either “pride” or “vanity” category.

It is quite a difficult task if we are sincere about it.

We are busy doing too many things at the same

time and doing all of them badly; thereby laying

ourselves open to negative karmic points with

pending files remaining open and following us

like wolves.

The course of our lives is based more on the things that were NOT DONE; the decisions which were not taken. 2) that at every moment we are given a simple choice of saying “yes” or “no” ; this determines the course of our lives.

It is a rare person who can pass thru the barrier of words to experience anything. Words are self limiting.

The only way to acquire knowledge is by going through the mill. I see so much of the printed word which is available as an exercise in futility.

Listening insists that attention be paid, being alert and aware. Who in the name of heaven really wants all that? We live in a very self-centered world and are content to be there.

We have to give to get. We may think we are enjoying things free of cost, but are we really? Cash or kind, payment is always in the pipeline.

It is this thinking for others that is the bane of working together or living together. Why do we have to show off our intelligence in things that are not ours to worry about?

This trait of interfering is universal and in force in every small act or word in our lives. We should make a concerted attempt to reduce this factor to live happier and better lives.

There is also this over dependency on the education system to instill all the worldly, social, inter-personal and other knowledge required to navigate thru life.I now understand the comments being made by management seniors that our young people are not really employable. It is so sad.

Indignation is good but it is terribly self destructive if allowed to go on and control us. Matured and self-assured people know how to shake it off.

Books and lectures may open your eyes but they rarely help you change your long ingrained habits. This needs persistent hammering and you will need will power and courage to stand up to it.

And then; why focus on my person and my need to change so much? Why can’t you resolve not to irritate me a little less? Am I asking too much?

Under the calm exterior there is always some undercurrent of judgmental thoughts flowing quietly which, keeps the mind perpetually irritated about something or the other.

Most of us live lives immersed in a sea of denials. We do not see because it is not convenient to see. We do not listen because it is not convenient to hear.

The human mind at its present level of development is a collector. It collects data for data's sake. It also feels very knowledgeable and can spout quotes and passages on every subject and considers itself wise.

Are we being true to ourselves and the universe which is organizing our lives around us? There is so much expectation from the universe but to receive we have to be in the club of givers without premeditated calculations of why & what.

The best givers are intensely alive and very involved in life. When you drop the critical, calculating and the judgmental attitude, there is an aura of compassion which builds up around you. Then you can only give.

Rarely do we have the courage to distance ourselves from what others think of us. Many pattern their entire lives on the thought “What will they say?”

Somebody copying us is flattery all right. But are we looking for flattery?

At the actual moment of need, people always behave, act or/and react in a predictable manner which is their basic personality.

If we focus sincerely on what is happening in us we soon see that it is not the person that we are attracted to but the basiccharacteristics of the opposite sex and proximity plays a big part in these affairs of Love.

Life is no Happy Ever After deal at all. But people go through the motions of being happily married, fully occupied and well, totally unhappy with their lot.

Always tackle a situation immediately. Never let an unsavory situation to get off the ground. A stitch in time saves nine.

So much heart break and ill will can be avoided by complaining softly before egos get involved. This can be called being tactful.

My guess is that humans have never given and do not wish to give much thought to “thinking & planning and living within reason”.

Intuition: All it needs is a little silencing of the spirit, quietening of the din of desires and pre-decided goals so the voice from within can be heard.

Very important to connect the nature in us with the Nature out there. Walk in the grass, sing in the rain and sleep on the sand. Mother Earth will cradle you, sing you lullabies and hug you back into whole.

The human rogue element only can be coerced and frightened but not made to understand or learn to control himself - he is too much in awe of his own strength and intellectual ability + totally controlled by his habits and subconscious patterns.

People can, if they wanted, delve deep into their own selves and know and feel the aura of others if they would simply permit themselves the joy of living in the intuitive world.

Often relationships last because an emotional dependency is also established.

Some people also do not protect themselves or do not know how to and these poor souls are often vampirised.

We all depend on words to communicate but we rarely allow them to penetrate or register. The spoken word is just a mosquito buzz around the ears and the written word is just a blot on the landscape.

It is my experience that most of us are simply asking questions, seemingly giving the impression to look and feel wise and then simply exist focusing on the few essentials that take our fancy or nature's 'demands

My understanding of the human psyche is that it progresses best under duress. Anything coming to it free and easy is taken for granted and soon personal effort/sense of responsibility goes out of the equation. It then becomes a weakening factor instead of a helpful and progressive one.

Life without an excuse and something to blame on others can be very dull and frightening.

When we understand each other’s needs then discussion is a way to reach a joint venture status. The word "differences" is an anomaly.

I hate lecturing and believe in answering "live" genuine questions asked by need and not curiosity.

The answers take on a life and they are then powerful to bring in change only when they are in response to a "seeking" question.

When opening up to the Cosmos, sensitivity rather openness is needed. I am not sure too much human contact and hugs from all and sundry has ever been considered a good idea when in this mode.

The character of patience will always remain a virtue.

Gratitude should be something that we are. It is unfortunate that it has to be told and induced by will into our acts.

Honesty is a good concept. It exists in text books -the concept is a possibility but that, generally speaking, does not make it a reality. Every thought, tiniest of them, if you look deeply, has some governing reason behind it in which self interest will be seen.

But often that which comes to the lips is what has been hiding in the thoughts although with exaggeration.

Have courage to go and do your thing. Live life the way you want it and are convinced it should be. Only be careful not to step on too many toes and egos.

By not letting people learn the hard way, we do them a disservice. We delay the advent of their destiny. So be very careful when you are being "too" kind.

Often thoughts have to be "placed" in the "heads" of others. Their wheels turn only when jump started from an external source. (The entire science of advertising/campaigning is based on it)

The Sufi should be accorded the exalted place of a mirror. He shows not only you in the mirror but also the image of things around you and often invisible. This can be overwhelming.

The solution to a nagging past is growth. Growth of the persona. Like trees renewing themselves. Most people want the past to just disappear while their present stays as it is - without effort or change; this is childish in the extreme.

.....with heads full of words, like pearls in a bag. When will the necklace be made?

On the Q of Believer/non-believer or atheist or whatever :- It is like a discussion - will it be a boy or a girl. Totally without any sense or import but great to keep the petty minds busy.

There is a point at which we need to become defenders and caretakers of this world and remove our cloak of virtuousness.

Some succumb to their own demons that have been aroused without their knowledge - not their fault really. There is no guarantee to what you will attract and playing safe should be our aim.

I think we are better off with the smoke screens between us - I live what I profess and do not put up a pose - the result is that I am shunned and seen as of no value to their interests and they fear my candidness.

The beauty, perfection and strength with which flowers bring forth life and joy to existence is a marvel and makes us feel so small in comparison.

Let us not talk of Truth at all. It is such a "cloud in the sky" subject. Let us focus first on topics like: Why are we making so much garbage, why are we buying things we don’t like/need, why are we watching so much TV, why are we talking so much to say nothing.......

Every idiot thinks (Nay – he is absolutely certain) he is the only one who would know what needs to be done.

Never got down to making a reputation - the others did it for me.

People, specially in the family, judge from what they know of you from the long gone past. They have no idea of you as a person today and couldn’t care.

If somebody is comfortable with his chains (mental chains/ideals and dogmas), it is best to let him be. Schools/professors/gurus are for those looking for change and instructions to unchain themselves.

Like contrasting colours, Nonsense brings out the flavour in Sense and Seriousness. It also helps in tangential thinking to show us the folly of our seriousness and self-important thinking. It helps to break the cage of our mental trappings.

People will block roads, stand or walk in the middle of it, leave things around and litter when they feel they can get away with it.

The thinking is: What will you do to me? Hang me by the nearest tree? Skin me alive?

So what can you do with these people- we let them stay in the mud that they are; save ourselves.

I say what I think already so no point in phrasing the question with a "Don't you think…..''.... What if I just said NO or Yes and let the conversation die out at this point? This is called a “loaded” question and is considered bad manners in my book.

Clever people do not recognise intelligence. They are too busy appreciating themselves.

Children need clear-cut guidance at this age. This is not repression. They are allowed to play. Only we need to teach them the habit of making choices and explain to them why we do not like what we do not like etc so that later they can judge for themselves.

Look for the funny side with intention and this will help you destroy many of your castles that you have built in your mind.

Learnt very early from life that it is best to do it, enjoy it, worry about consequences later - the worst that can become of it is a scolding from father but it needed to be done before he said "NO".

It is the reinterpretation that many do to reduce the words of others to fit into heir own thought structure that I do not agree with or for that matter any need to criticise anybody's writing because it does not go in concordance of our own way of seeing.

It is also possible he is discussing matters which are outside our experience yet. Dissecting the words won’t take us anywhere. We may most probably miss the possibility of learning something new.

The body ( note I specifically focus on the body) has a simple memory system that records everything. Too many activities at the same time or in speedy succession can confuse it and deregulate its memory and cause stress.

Laughing at others, specifically at their errors and physical disabilities. - It shows our vulgar and low middle class side.

Respect and Gratitude. They do not come free yet as free Apps with the Explorer/Chrome or any other.

As long as you are seeking with the ordinary human, semi animal mind that is common, you can only gather bits and pieces and attempt to analyse/sort and try to make sense out of them. The truth within you can be reached only when you have entered the intuitive mind.

Bad friends have always been and will be. It is how the world runs and how our choosing system works. We do make errors in choices in life due to many odd reasons.

It goes for both males and females that the mistaken stand people take in life of their situation is of a finite nature and the situation they are in is permanent and absolute; so they drop their guards and become intolerant and intolerable till the lid blows off.

We have to pay serious attention to the original language used by the author. We cannot paraphrase or substitute words/expressions to suit and fit into our pre-existing personal concepts.

Talk within the limits of "your" reality; your personal experience that you can personally vouch for. THE REST IS JUST PLAY OF WORDS.

Unhappy people are those who take things too seriously and themselves even more so. Once we realise how little we are and not-so-really grand, we start seeing things in their correct value and perspective

It is not that in one moment somebody becomes a monster. It is a pile up of a life long trend of insensitive behaviour, mistaken inputs from social and electronic media and + parents who are never there for their children.

If only people could go beyond their need of pleasure sensations from the sexual source and know the pleasures of loving with the rest of the persona, through the fingers, ears, eyes (closed and open), by happiness given through gestures etc etc

When the artist's eye meets Mother Nature’s creativity.So many life-giving fountains around us, even in the most dreary locations - but we miss them all in our pursuit of pre-fixed destinations in our mind's eye.

The child has need of us to learn and discover this world and itself. It cannot be left to others. We gave it birth and it is our duty. Those who leave it to nannies and TVs are doing irreparable harm.

If the individual does not care for his safety, why should anyone else? This big brother attitude is killing all progress and self-development. We should educate, warn and let things take their course.

Our Soul has worked hard to bring us where we are. We have to go further and all the instruments are given to us for this work,

Gentleness is one thing, kindness totally another. Kindness by intent is a show of virtuousness which can grate on the nerves.

Compassion is our true nature. We should rediscover it. How did our precious life fall into the hands of the demons of self-centredness?

Money is not inert. The banknote maybe. The concept it carries and the purchasing power it carries is an energy that is at present at its peak in human affairs and not under the control of Divine Forces.

The mind when immature cannot wait, reflect nor quieten and it jumps to speedy conclusions. Superficiality is the hallmark.

Remaining silent has been so completely trampled underfoot that even a few moments of quiet are a surprise nowadays.

My observance is that we are basically lazy. There is a lot of inertia in the basic nature (the inconscient) and whatever psychologists may say, this has overall control over our lives in general.

People not only do not think for themselves, they would rather not do anything else if they can avoid it but they are very good at rationalising as it requires little effort besides wagging the tongue.

There are some over clever ones who are very appreciative of their own wit and are showing off all the time. Don’t get involved with them or try to upstage them.

We create a screen, a foundation of our "Virtuousness" of not needing/wanting/allowing others to approach us until implored and then when we do relent, it is as a "virtuous" gesture.

The piece of iron being made into a horse shoe - just imagine what it has to bear. But to become into something useful and then later serve its purpose, it has no other way.

Words are the only vehicle available to convey our thoughts but it can all be a great waste - the process of penetration and registering is extremely faulty in the spoken or/and written format - the receiving end instrument (human brain with its conscious/subconscious patterns) is designed and normally programmed by our education and selfishness to filter out and block.

Unattachment cannot be practised. When we understand the impermanence and the transitory existence, we lose our appetite and become more detached.

A Discriminating intelligence is a gift but which normally inflates both abilities and arrogance; creating as result the irritated, superior complexed angry type.

In the present state humans are open to many elements that blow through them. It is virtually a public place at the cross roads. We are affected by things like weather, food, colours, personal relations & considerations and thoughts and other subtle influences.

I have always felt that too much is being told to those who cannot relate with the info. Most people live in a small bubble and anything beyond that is normally outside their field of comprehension.

We need to consider the notion of rising above one's self and one's limitations/lower propensities. To rise above the mundane, we need to focus on our positive qualities such as tolerance, compassion, ability to ignore, not meddle, laugh it off, not making everything into an ego issue etc.

Everything serves a purpose but it is wisdom to know when to let go, discard old thoughts and habits and adopt new measures.

We mask our insincerity which includes traits like laziness, cleverness etc with all acceptable tools available - created by humans like laws, customs, unprovable lies and everything else we can use.

Precarious, life may be, but are we ready for anything else? Is there anything else?

I feel life has always been fine. It is we who want to rub it the wrong way. When we are scratched, we howl in disdain & pain.

Too much stress is laid on the sex aspect by people living in the physical mind. Those who rise above this, shift totally out of the physical bindings and go into the intuitive mind, see only the person and are interested deeply but only in the “persona”. Everything else becomes a bore.

Finally, all said and done it is your call and destiny. The most natural thing to you is what you will do and the most natural thing to the other person is what he will do.

It re-enforces my own view that at the base we are a nasty & narrow-minded people. More interested in imposing ourselves than anything else. We impose some control on ourselves only when we are afraid & know that the other party can do us harm in sheer spirit of self-preservation.

Humans have the same appetites. Only the dogmas/prejudices we entertain are different. But the pride with which consider our selves separate & exclusive/superior is the same.

When the mind is constantly kept a buzz with something or the other; it cannot receive or get out of the vortex it has created for itself. It is unable to quieten itself. If it has nothing better to do, it will simply go around in circles.

Lies between us are important. The facade is too fragile.-

To connect with other we have to make hole in our personal shield. Therefore it is essential to choose who we hole-up with, with discrimination.

If the goal of our wanting is creative and productive for the general good and in tune with Mother Earth's plans and the music of the Cosmos then it is always a joy in the end.

WE all have a personal destiny but also a common bond between everything we are with. I am born here and you are born there. It is not as random as you may think.

Everything has karma. Even a piece of rock has been standing still since thousands of years is playing a part. In reality if you can feel the pulse of the Cosmos in action, you will see there are very few individuals.

It IS all role playing. An intelligent take on what will sell and what will not. The real individuals, who have crossed over to the intuitive world, see the mayhem around them and try to hide behind a screen but their individuality will always seep through.

If only we would consent to let the Light work in us and take us where it would. Humans want enlightenment but only in the form of enhanced powers to increase their pleasure quotient.

Why changing religion can be bad. There is a basis in the fact that subliminal conditioning can play havoc with the persona. But once you start putting whatever "learning" you have into practice, the truth is bound to dawn on you and become the guiding Force; you like it or not.

Deep inside we all know what we are and our worth. But pride is the persona of the lower chakras and this will not accept to show itself in its "real" picture.

Focus on romantic interludes as going to a Spa or to the beach or watching a lovely sunset. Not as the goal of life. Enjoy it for the little while it lasts and then back to the serious business of life.

No rich guy ever thought to start a project to create a job. Jobs get created because the rich want to get richer.

There is much harm being done by floating around concepts of effortlessness, love for oneself and the like. This gives the self-centered people a good excuse to be their merry selves and make everyone unhappy.

The moralities are the same as ever. The possibilities have increased. The corruption was always there. Gadgetry and globalism has only given more opportunities and frustrations

Discussing merits and superiority of a religion is childish. It is and can be only of value on a personal level and therefore should be a personal matter.

Humans will always discriminate. This is their way of validating their own selves. They can show themselves superior only by denigrating others.

Marriages, though they give stability but do so at a price. One must enter into it with this thought firmly understood.

If you have to talk about it, then it is not love.

I hear so much on love. The basic is that once we have achieved the state of "love" we do not feel the need to talk about it as there is no more explaining left to do.

The letting go in all sincerity has to come first so as to permit the Grace to act. When its Action is seen and embraced, the awesomeness makes one humble.

Love does not grow cold. Our desires do. Our perceptions change. Our needs change. Boredom sets in from the same coming and goings everyday.

Very difficult to know what is the right thing to do for us or the other person in a relationship that we are getting tired of. Whichever way we act, it will have deep karmic ramifications.

Sages and teachers help us often by speeding up the process but I wonder if I would be anywhere near that level so would advise myself to desist. The possibility of getting caught up in other's negative karmic turmoil are immense

it is so difficult to control the vehemence in our bellies that screams to be let out when we know we have been wronged and can prove it.

This is the operative word: Withdraw. By 70 it should be total - limited to only one's personal tastes and preferences, leaving the world to its own peccadilloes.

Not asking anyone to follow the path of talking or exchanging or otherwise. Just asking not to waste time in proving a point or points; we have very limited time given to us. Just remember that.

One good reason behind the excessive mental activity is that we have forgotten our place in the universe. One night out in the open, under the stars brings this truth home.

Can our future be changed?

It is just a matter of changing the tracks. If you continue with your old pattern of being, it cannot be changed but the moment you shift focus, everything around you has to reassemble itself and the track of destiny can change.

Finally it matters only on how we have dealt with our own selves. Do we understand our every move, thought and reactions? Are we in control or not?

Big money is behind everything-every penny exchanged anywhere. Always has been. As long as there are spenders, non-thinking ones at that, this world will roll on as it is just now. Greed with absolutely no remorse will always prevail.

Unfortunately, we bring up our children to be dependent and afraid. Then later in life they just cling to something, anything that will take responsibility for their lives.

To be genuinely kind, one has to travel from self-centeredness to gratitude. There is nothing happening in any direction until gratitude is cultivated. The rest follows in spite of everything.

Nobody has ever wanted money-possessions-property etc for their material value alone. It is not a matter of money at all. It is amour-propre/vanity.

It takes a lifetime to understand that we need not know and understand everything. If we can understand our place in this universe for this moment we have achieved the ultimate.

It is unfortunate that humankind pays attention only to another in sickness and sadness. Even mothers give out this signal. In later years people imagine/wish themselves into real sickness to get attention.

You eventually get enveloped and swallowed by what you fight. As my teachers said, therefore you should fight the Divine.

The need is to learn to enjoy without craving.

Our disregard for the other's space is phenomenal and legendary. Both Physically/materially and spiritually. So is our ability to then blame others, never accept fault and try to bluster away out of the mess by taking an attacking posture.

There is a cruel streak in humans; people love ramming things down the throat of others. They are so on a high of their own state of perfection that they can afford to judge everyone with a sword in their hands which they feel God has entitled them to use to improve the world.

Considering the average education of the average guy, the average vocabulary and the average exposure to this world that each one of us enjoy, how much can there be to say?

The Universe is what it is. We cannot argue with it - we can only learn to live with it. Let us not forget how puny we are; how inconsequential in terms of size and never forget for it is IN(within) this Cosmos and by its Grace that we live.

Living with walls and barriers. Slowly they reduce us, eat into our Spirit and starve all our elements that need openness like gratitude, forgiveness, generosity etc.

One should plan, analyse and learn from others and from one's mistakes but as Krishna said not be too sure or attached to the outcome. Many people are so strong on hope that they don’t look deeply into the pros and cons.

When you take on the path to self perfection or even improvement, the Higher Consciousness deliberately makes your life more difficult than it need be. This is to make certain that your trust in it is unshakable. It speeds up the process for those who are sincere - just dreaming, talking about it, reading about it or wanting is not enough.

Right you are. Reading won’t change much except orient your thinking in that direction. The mind has to be trained like a dog or horse otherwise it loves wallowing in its own comfortable little pond.

Silence and inactivity are so under-rated yet are the essential conditions for flowering/assimilation and nurturing growth.

Go back to when you were 6 or 7 or 8. That was the time you were you. Can you still dance, sing and play with the same abandon?

True feelings? Are there untrue feelings - the concept escapes me.

The shell is the same but priorities and factors change with every passing moment. I am important to you today; tomorrow I may be a burden.

The woman I loved passionately is today only another person, a bit of a nuisance really. The music I could not live without, no longer is enticing.

They see only my temper, not their absurdities nor today that I couldn't care, nor for their judgements, nor for their relationship but would be happy to see them without remembering the past - but will they?

The thinking of others in our lives is feedback. Important only from that angle.

Now ask them, if they are going cut down all the trees and just stay in buildings locked in embrace with Lady Pleasure, how long shall we last?

If my pronouncements make others uncomfortable, then it is so because there is some kernel of uncomfortable truth there.

The lessons have been repeating themselves since eternity. The answers are floating around but every new birth starts the game all over again.

Is it the ego or our closed minds that do not want to see, acknowledge or hear about anything outside the small compound of the house we have made?

Close friends are not others; that is how it should be and - they become part of us - virtual extensions.

My experience is that once we find that person who complements our weaknesses, we become complacent and enjoy life instead of improving ourselves.

Then let your words speak clean and true with no shadows.

When we need somebody, it is the people around us that we call upon. A strong supportive community is more important than a millionaire business partner thousands of miles away.

It is alright if you don’t have time to spend with me or my company is not worth the trouble. But stop complaining that time is responsible.

Sit down, reflect, I agree there is a lot to be done but the opposite of letting things be not done is equally true and for listening, one needs to be silent, withdraw from the outward projection (of our persona) we live in.

History is the enumeration of the world’s symptoms of not being in tune with music of the Cosmos. Human happenings are the result of chemistry between mental concepts, wishes and the Music of the Cosmos - mostly in discordant notes.

All my troubles/miseries in life had roots in my cleverness and insincerity. But I am a fast learner. Soon I realised that my - even little - white lies have a tendency to rebound in a terrific backlash.

So by force of necessity I became totally sincere or at least try to. Now my troubles stem from too much truthfulness and correctness & people do not take me seriously at all!

It is another matter that as you grow in consciousness and sensitivity to the Cosmos, your needs change and you change your habits too. Mostly, when you near Buddhahood, your appetite patterns change because you also learn to absorb and take in energy from the air directly. A little easy to digest food from the plant world are found to be more than enough.

You are expecting "sincerity of purpose" from this HUMAN race. My friend you will die but not see this race change in a hurry.

Manipulating others through words (or body language, colors, shapes, décor etc) - the entire science of media-marketing is based on it. And as long as INsincerity is in vogue we should expect vested interests to be at work without exception.

I don’t think they really understand it at all. What they have is a mentalised picture born out of their niceness. But Truth is another matter.

A lot of people fool themselves by adopting one or two ideas/recipes and think they have done their part and nature will do the rest. Good health needs a little more commitment than that.

Haven't you experienced how easy it becomes when we procrastinate, make insincere promises and give assurances that we do not mean?!!!!

In regular medical tests/screening today, the problem is psychological and "the mistakes" + avarice of the healing industry. Secondly the element of "Fear" gets added in the subconscious that can do a lot of harm, even sow the seed of illness which was not there to begin with.

Most human decisions and goals are laced with a heavy dose of wishfulness And disdain for the natural order. Often change comes when you give up and leave the doors open.

Too much hope based on our own concepts of what should be can close all doors. Often change comes when you give up and leave the doors open. It is double edged: a light and a trap.

Imponderables being pondered by pandered people. When the vibes change, habits change.

Joy is exactly what is not wanted to be given to humans. The Gods want us in pain so that "men" would wander a bit towards The Supreme and eternal JOY - whatever that means.

Unfortunately our own sense of guilt and security entraps us into a pattern.

My experience in India has been:

- Kindness in words results in people thinking you "soft" and they will cheat and lie because they feel they can get away with it.

- Kindness in thinking results in people thinking of you as a weak, lacking in winning instinct

- Kindness in giving results in people taking you for somebody who is a softy and can be taken for granted.

On the question of educating (“teaching") the world:

Every generation has to be re-taught from scratch. This is the world's enigma. All the secrets I have gathered will go with me.

Women are far superior and men do not have the eyes to see this nor do they feel any need although they can’t do without the comfort of their embraces. Generally speaking of course.

Life should not be seen as an argument to be won. That is a waste of powerful energy. The egoistic & opinionated stands are what create these problems.

Step back and you will see a wider picture of things and mentally mull over all the possibilities of a situation. Go behind the words and shut off your judgemental side.

- Quotes are helpful in herding the mind back to the point.

- The problem is in the words used

- Quite often the words are so general and universal in nature, that deeply meaningful quotes become meaningless ... because they are open to literally open-ended interpretation; Example: the words "Love" & “Consciousness".

- Quotes in a simple unambiguous language which leaves nothing to interpret are solid markers and do the job of highway markers as mile-stones.

Too much schooling, too much talk are only tools for commercial activity. In reality life and our life's program is already laid out for us. We just need to be there and live it up.

Running away is a "sure" solution but then you carry yourself with you so you will in the long run most probably get into another similar relationship.

Words like many other words such as Love, Rising-consciousness, etc mean nothing at all to most. They would immediately talk of Beer, Sex, Mathematics, and Oncology or just about anything.

It is outside words......they said.Then why use them so much? Specially giving answers to questions that are not even there?

Quotes that touch you are the ones where the awakening has already taken place. But as a tool spreader of knowledge – they are good only when the novice is open and in small doses.

From the very mundane angle, I think women know that they have nothing great to give and in the short span of a year or two when their charm is overwhelming, they need to establish an economical and pragmatic home base to last them a life-time.

Thinking is a random activity; from one illusion balloon into another, some good and some not so. Depending on our mental conditioning, some saddening and some not so.

In the “easy come-easy go” equation, “easy come” is liked but the easy go tends to disorient and shake them rather.

Of course the other side of the coin is equally true but a lot lesser.

The tragedy of successful people. The human brain as a whole has nothing left to do except attend to very desire that bubbles up.

We are all without exception, stuck in an egoistic frame-work in which anger, jealousy, envy, cleverness & cunning, selfishness etc are also highly prominent. Although the opposite elements also exist side by side and are considered as our real self.

The idea of life, to really be in joy and happiness is to be in the framework of love, empathy, kindness and compassion, honed intelligence, patience etc

We open ourselves to better things only when the shield of self-centeredness is shattered and this is what suffering tends to do.

Teaching is the regular flow of practical know-how from upper echelons to downwards to the lains/sea. All in the way get flooded. Therefore look upwards.

Saying sorry.

It’s all on the surface.

Means nothing where it matters but helps in keeping up the façade,

I was simply wondering when we shall wake up to see that if we do not change then fortune may have to bash us up a bit with tragedy of some sort.

My Reality is what is in my head. And this goes for all of us without exception. I suppose we are in agreement on this.

Even the ant becomes a big element in our growth if that is what is needed and the circumstances will organise around us in such a way that we end up gaining something from it.

Our lives are so beautifully choreographed in every detail that it is astounding. It is a funny tragic novel by Wodehouse with a detailed plot like that of an international thriller.

The beauty is that everyone of us is enjoined in some way or the other and all of us play a little in part in each other’s lives and yet our own plot remains so individualistic and complete in every detail that you can only wonder and pray for Grace.

Well one of these days you will find wanderlust is good in the learning process but then freedom becomes a yoke and the only way left is to stay put and take life as it comes without stepping back.

Oh you are welcome to believe whatever you want as others are. But I suppose it is also a matter of mental conditioning to what our mind has been prepared to accept. Anything else automatically becomes foreign to it and there is always enough knowledge to explain in some way or the other every phenomenon.

Find love, Become love, Love thyself etc are anomalies. Advice that is totally useless. Those who give this advice obviously have only a mental image to go by.

I wonder if we don’t put in more effort in blasting our lives and than making something of it.

Love is not something one looks for. Love is not a character. Nor is it a state ...that one enters by will.

It is part and parcel of the life component in us. We keep it shut away by ignorance & arrogance. When the screen of selfishness recedes, loves shines out on its own.

Let my experiences and Intuition guide me. I would live my life by the Truth of my convictions. Of course I would also listen to disinterested well-meaning advice from others evidently superior to me.

There is no hurry, there is NO NEED to hurry but "hurriedness" is devouring them.

Between the “time” a thought comes into our head and our reaction to act upon it.... how much time do we give to reflect upon it?

To become an efficient guy!

Balanced information backed by practical- go out in the mud and do - "doings" and others things like curiosity, wish to excel (by one’s own standards) and do well by others are behind the final actual results.

On the illusion of separateness and that: We are all one.

I don’t disagree with this statement but don’t see the need to bring it up either. This is a necessity in the present world order otherwise we would end being a muddled blotch of jelly fish with no spark or goal and no need to reach out to each other.

As Parkinson used to say - the minor things get more attention because they are more comprehensible to the average mind.

I now see that too much of a yogic stance from the Indian point of view is not really achieving anything either. It only unbalances most people.

I welcome disagreement in approaches. I am a big boy and can take correction.

Yoga, the subconscious and all that crap maybe what sainthood needs but for the average house-holder simple uplifting of spirits & positive advice is good and in greater balance with actualities.

Envy, Greed, Superiority complex and the Fear of the unknown are still too big players in the human make-up. Minor undercurrents of personal gain & satisfaction (above all) runs in every decision and act of human behaviour.

The distraction of the cities are so fulfilling and numerous that there is no end to the time we can spend there and lose all track of it. All we need to do is keep indulging till our body sheath drops dead of fatigue and over-use.

People are losing their power to judge by deSOULising in management techniques. Now they don’t know how to take decisions on hiring or in throwing out.

Decisions are taken on the parameters collated by computers and it is all done in some back office far away from the action.

CONFUSION = An idea that has not concretised, is not properly worded by commonly accepted standards and then poured into ears that are not open and finally churned by a mind that is more interested in justifying what it wants.Trying to make sense of it all is not a happy game. We live our lies; the others live theirs.

The moment we realise that some info is outdated or new one has entered into the equation, immediately without second thought, rearrange the entire mental make-up. In an instant something from that moment on becomes garbage and new practices replace the stance.

Anybody going out just to make a living does not become a professional. It remains only a part of his bread-earning program.

My remarks are just to perk up the human mind to not waste time on conjectures.Advice and sermons is all a waste to a non specific general public. Until the question is "live" the answers have no meaning.

Real professionals are happy wherever they are; they use their minds to rise to the occasion: they take their lives seriously and do well in all relationships.

Pick 20 or so quotes/proverbs etc that strike you/ touch you deeply as relevant to your soul. Read them everyday and try to incorporate them in your life. Life will take you along perfectly well on the route your soul has chosen.

From the moment we are conceived, we are taking guidance from someone or thing and everything around us. When the mind has grown, it gets cloaked by its self-importance. Do you think the subconscious and your mind will just let you go off into the "yonder" just like that and lose their power over you?

There are people and people. Ordinary people. Extra-ordinary people hiding and trying to be ordinary and ordinary people trying to pose as extra-ordinary - and of course the thousands of shades of grey in between. It is like a maze. The right one, the right path - which where - good question.

Certain things speak with such force that words collapse like bearings in an overheated crankshaft.

You are left speechless. QUIET prevails and the whole Being sings a song of joy.

But as I see it, people, prefer discussing the path rather than following it. By expounding our knowledge of philosophy, books and scriptures, I suppose we are just being virtuous in our show-offing. In many ways it is a profession.

Three things keep us stuck.1) Lack of opportunity to experience new things.

2) Lack of ability to learn from the experience and knowledge of others.

3) Lack of inclination to jump into new situations – avoid learning.

Rather it has jolted me into wondering of what purpose it is to try and inform others about anything? Most will live and decide only by the light of their own little world and the knowledge and experience they have collected.

I am saying what I am saying. You can make of it what you want and which ever you wish to interpret.

This world is a joke. The Divine is having fun. All we need to do is join Him in the fun.

For The Divine created this Universe is an experiment and experience. A change from his Eternal Quiet.

We live life from a distance. Touching it with long tongs. A little bit like an experience and a little bit like an experiment. Once we are isolated in our little created world, we sit in our rocking chairs and observe the world through opera glasses.

We venture out once in a while just like a millionaire who goes walking or dining by candle-light leaving his limousine and chandelier alone fully well aware that they can always return to their mansions when they are tired of it all.

People complain that they have to live in a world not of their making. So wrong.

We all have created a world in our imagination that is particular to us and we are proud of it.

Death shocks us to wake up from our self-centric attitudes. The only time when we literally profit from the demise of another whom we loved. After that who cares?!

When you paint a sunset do you really try to reproduced an exact likeness accurately and discuss its date and time and place? Will you accept its beauty only when you have these non-essential data?

The mind is not an instrument that will permit you to go beyond itself. Until the Soul from within comes in the forefront nothing of import will happen.

Do we ……

……go up and down because a staircase is available?

Or

….eat because the fridge is full?

….travel because we have a car?

…….then why are we conversing incessantly because gadgets and company are available?

Then we are very judgemental types and we tend to be overtly critical so lose more friends than we make them.

....and at the back of my mind is the thought perhaps it was not love at all, it was a fault of my perception and it was nice while it was there. So let’s be grateful for the episode. ….. A romantic escapade.

A teacher can only clarify and substantiate and thereby make the way clearer but even He cannot teach you something beyond your experience and the limits of your mind. (He can talk about it but you will understand the words only when your own experience corresponds to it)

For the Soul to break through even slowly, the cycle of birth and the painful adventures are the best teacher. If we can we should make people understand that a guide/guru/teacher can only help speed up the process - not instigate it.

The brain is just an instrument which is being hardly used properly or only as a programmer. There are other parts in our Being that we are not using at all. We have the capacity to be as large as the Universe.

One is the instinctive knowledge of the body and the other is the Intuitive aspect. Then we are rarely using the input from our senses - correctly and without deformation.

No "real" teacher ever intrinsically said that the Ego has to go (annihilated). This is an error of the human interpretation. The EGO is the Life Force. IT has to be purified of its arrogance and hurtful tendencies and channelised like a great life giving river.

Do we notice the bars?Most people see the bars but conclude the rest of the world is behind them.

They prefer to wallow in their pond having as yet no concept of the unlimitedness of the ocean.

We in India live on the opposite pole. We WANT a teacher/parent/elder or somebody to take our lives in hand and thereby avoid the weight of being responsible.

Every time a topic is brought up for discussion or sharing it is immediately assumed that the person in question is facing a problem and it is assumed he needs advice because of course he needs help to get around it; explanations and suggestions follow.

Refusal to “look”, staunch resistance to change and holding on to what is, gives rise to anxiety. Anxiety = wishful desiring backed by wishful thinking not happening. Laziness & inertia is the strongest part of the character of our sub-conscient nature so this is to be expected.

In Naturopathy, I see people practising and failing because they are not taking into account the newer elements of pollution and additives in our lives. The process works but with enhanced dosages and often other practices like “restrictions” which people do not wish to incorporate.

The chances are that you will not fall sick and even if you have minor disturbances like a little fever or sniffles, you would know by experience to take care of yourself by judicious diet + safe medication like homeopathy/herbs/naturopathic practices.

Most people have certain tendencies Bodywise(illness) and psychologywise(actions/reactions) that are repeating all throughout the life-cycle - that they soon learn to cope and live with but rarely try to transcend. A little self-study and keeping a record of what helps us is enough to take us through this life comfortably. All that is asked for is a little diligence and the desire to learn about one-self and one's way of living and "Grandmother Medicine"

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Would you like to discuss further?How I work -

Please formulate a precise question and write it down. Think it over. Is this the question that you would give your entire wealth to get a proper answer? The first secret is operative here. Be precise and be sure.Then email it to me at gururdeva@yahoo.com

About the Author:

Professional Manager, with 40 years experience in managing people and doing business in India & internationally. Industrial family background. Well travelled in India and abroad - specially in the French belt in Europe & well educated in both Indian and European classical streams, speaking English, French and Hindi . With background of applied psychology and physics, teaching & soft-skills training. Practitioner of Holistic medicine. Qualified Interior Designer (USA). Landscaping in oils and photography are my hobby. Experienced in Design and Development – consumer goods. Very well versed in Indian cultural biases, history and commercial attitudes. Published author.Student of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry.