I can love you just as others do, she replies with a blank stare. I told her I can love her just as others do. And she sits there and stare. Her eyes stone, her body is flawless, tempting me to holler. But at what cost will it get me? At this bar that sits near a waterfall, she wears the perfume I brought her three Christmases ago. Her attitude has me dumbfound for words, as the waiter brings out more coffee. There we are in this cafe bar observing one another. I light a cigarette, a long one at that. She cracks her back. A light smile comes upon my face. Why you smile she wrote on a note. That gesture of cracking your bones reminds me, how we was years ago. So young and clueless. She turns and snaps her fingers.  From the looks of her finger nails, she does quite the work at keeping up her appearance. I ask... And than I pause... And than the question pops back into my head. Are you In love? She snatches her head back, and she leans closer. She whispers something faint in my ear... YES! With a tear scrolling down her cheek. 
The waiter comes and asked what do we need... She whispers. A Long Island ice tea please. Her voice is faint. It troubles me as to why it is this way. She was always quite loud and joyful, but now she is feeling remorse of some kind. We talk around the round table, never to crack a smile, never to say good morning to one another. And this of course, is bothering me... In a rage. I declare and I lean to her face. 
SAY MY NAME! She's puzzled... I say again... SAY MY NAME! She closes in on my face... SAGE... Say my full name and like you mean it. SAGE RANGE! I look at her as I ease back down to my seat. Was that so hard? Yes, as she weeps quietly. I love another, and now that you are here I can't help but to feel like I don't want to be here. This is a burden, your looks, your love, everything down to who you are... Your like a bird, she replies. You come and you go... In and out my life. I am Keko Patterson. And I say that proud. My voice quakes with pain, from the days that you haven't been around. I have long forgotten who it is that I am... But this person who is kind and gentle. Has given me meaning... What is his name? She hurdles back into her seat, moving her feet rapidly under the table... I declare... Answer me! She told me to keep my voice down... Why did you agree to meet up with me, if you know that this how I am? I can't escape your appearance and the things you have done for me. Let me please you right under the apple tree. At our favorite spot when we was kids. This anger of mine recedes back into my chest. I have never known a love quite like this... We once was at each other throat and now look at us sharing a smoke, sitting across from one another. I know, as she nods her head. Everything that I am and or was, was because of you. Those nights of where I was left to walk alone, through the wandering world, I travelled from Egypt to China, to Peru and to Canada, in search of that thing. We call love. None never gave me to. I wrote for days, I painted my face with many lies. To get by, and yet this where I find myself. Thirteen years later, sharing a smoke, in a dirty cafe bar. You was LOVE, you were emotions, you were my emotions.  And for what? We couldn't be anymore. Is what you told me... I can love you just as the others do, I can do things, just like them... 

Now tell me is it a male or female? 
Her expression is momentary. She pauses and say it is your girlfriend who I am marrying... Now it seems as if the world stops, and people hear in on this conversation. How do you know who I am with? I ask. I know of this person because while you was searching for me, I was searching for you. The coffee drops from out of my hand and onto the floor. This can't be... I have been all around the world and I have never noticed you. This is true, you haven't because you was so blinded at the fact that we couldn't be as one. I do beloved it had to be about when was young. You was playing with dark magic. You longed for somebody who would inspire you. Such a long and pitiful sorry. So many years ago. One day, you was sleeping out by a lake and you was masturbating to snake skin. Your eyes seeped out drops of blood. Oh how, dedicated you was to this new found act. Oh how, you wanted to belong. Just to show me off to the world. You longed to belong. But your films needed a bit of something more, something real, to glorify. So, why not tell them the story... Don't you dare! I reply. Of how you truly was... This right here is between you and me. No outsiders or insiders for that matter. 

That was ages ago what we had... 
Really?
It only felt like yesterday that we was sharing a laugh, you know. 
The Florida sun was blowing a fair breeze, the beach and its sand was warm, and there we was, sitting under a little blue umbrella. My feet was buried in the sand as your hands was covered in cool sweat, that was overflowing from the beer. You told me you some explicit things, you positioned my head towards the water and you said... "Out there is you, for the world to enjoy". You told me these heavenly speeches on how it wouldn't matter whether we lost our insanity or whether we was even a capability.  I know you remember. Now, tell me do you dream still about the lust we had? Or the trust that I gave you?

Everything went dark and then there came a light...
I awoke in a bed full of troubling dreams and ejaculation...
Why must this woman keep on intruding into my slumber?
 I should get a restraining order on her. Skin is so extraordinary, womanly appearance so beyond that of what you would see on tv. A piece of fiction that shouldn't have been restructured, I should stop mating with all these dark images. But I can't help but to realize that I am alone. The board of conscience is what cause this boy to develop into a person who would never bare kids, the risk of doing what I did... Is that I didn't like the attitude of today's women. 

Yes, we did have trust.
Yes, we did have lust.
Yes, we did multiple things that shouldn't have been done.
But, can't you see. 
I have found me somebody who would love me for me. All the faults and sick decisions. 
To my dearest. Who found her way into my reality. I now command you to recede back into my thoughts. This cafe is all about a troubling reminder, of something I once thought, about doing things with somebody who I have long forgotten about. 

As she undress, her ways hypnotize, 
should I mate?
She whispers yes! 
Should I take any drugs to erase you?
She whispers no.
Her vocals are astounding. 
I should go home and be with the woman I love.
She whispers ever so softly and with no care in the world.
I am all the woman you need, now and forevermore. I will be your greatest inspiration.
My reply. Is one for the textbooks next to a candle light.
I have longed for your approval, for your touch, for you to awaken next to me and to drown me with affections. But you are not what I thought you is to be...
YOU ARE NOT REAL! But she is... 

The gun is to my eye. The barrel is a 12 gauge.
Tonight I will end my life and the sight of you will be erased. Yes, it is true. You are my greatest  inspiration and my greatest creation. But now it is time for me to depart, this lie, and this world is tearing me apart.

Goodnight, and goodbye. 

-Fin.
(Copyright) By:  Prince Patterson.