Mom used to tell us these stories about a pirate name CJ. She would travel the seas in search of her parents. She was a powerful and relentless woman, would not hesitate to do what was necessary. They were my favorite, but I never knew their true meaning, until now. Two years after her death.

“Mommy will you tell me a story?”

“Captain?”

“Yes!”

“There once was a fearsome pirate named Captain CJ. She was an orphan; when she was able she set out in search of her parents. CJ bought a ship; called it “The Searcher” for that was what she meant to do--- sail to every land in search of her parents. She sailed to every corner of the real earth. She was a pirate so, naturally, she acted as one. She was the toughest captain on the seas for as long as she sailed.

“ ‘Men! Hoist the sails and keep ‘em there if ya know what's good.’ She would yell out orders to her crew and she would throw garlic in the waters below so the sharks didn't rip holes in her ship.

The crew was frightened of her honestly and it was good because she could be scary. Her blonde hair was in curls and she wore a coat the color of the royals, which was stolen from a royal supply boat naturally. She never dressed her face, but instead gave the powder to the people she released after interrogation. She wore a bow across her back; a quiver and sword sheath at her waist. Her sword was silver with jewels lining the hilt.”

I was asleep. She always stopped when I fell asleep so we could finish the story in the morning. Mom would lay me down in bed and kiss me goodnight whispering “And her kiss could kill the strongest of men if she wished.” I could hear her sometimes if I woke when she left. She would always say that. Every night.

Two years after her death I was sorting through her old possessions. Something I had put off because of the pain. There was a chest she hid under the bed, full of many things I assumed she had collected.

“Mommy? Will you finish the story? I sat at her feet.

“Her sword was silver with jewels lining the hilt. It had taken so many rebellious soldiers’ lives and even members of her own crew. She struck down the toughest of soldiers with just a swipe of her flashing sword. She regretted it sometimes, shooting down good sailors. Her icy blue eyes were just that, icy. Her victims would see icy blue eyes just before they died and it froze them in their place. Or was it something more. But like most pirates, she kept prisoners in her ship and would force them to tell her information on her parents. Usually, though, they had none.

“During battles and on moments when she needed it, CJ kept the disappointment and anger close at hand though they always seemed to be there.

“There was one moment though that she truly became happy and for once she stayed that way. It started on the Atlantic sea somewhere off the coast of present day California. Captain CJ had left port two hours earlier with new supplies but no more leads on her parents. Suddenly yelling and crashing began below deck.

“Captain!’

‘What is it now you worthless sailor?’

‘We got a stowaway! In the storage place.’

‘What?’ CJ’s thick British accent echoed across the deck of her ship. ‘Take the wheel.’ She hurried down to the storage room.

‘Captain!’

‘Out of my way!’ The crewman was pushed against the wall. The door to the storage room was jarred open and you could see the barefoot of a child. CJ kicked the door open and there was her little stowaway sitting against the barrels stacked to the ceiling.

“The boy had scraggly hair and was dressed in a white shirt ripped at the side and he wore brown tattered pants falling just past his ripped up knees. He had cuts on his face and the dried blood ran down his white shirt. There were cuts on almost any open space on him. 

“ ‘ What are ya doing stowing away in my ship? Ya think you can come in here and take over, huh? Well guess what? I am Captain CJ and unless you serve a purpose I don't see why I shouldn't throw ya overboard.’

‘You have no reason not to I suppose.’ He sniffed and wiped away the blood on his face. He raised his gaze to hers for a moment.

‘How old are ya?’

‘I don't know.’

‘Well, guess.’ CJ’s voice was still fierce but she lowered it.

‘Ten I suppose.’

‘Yer still little. Stand up.’

The boy stood and kept his head down.

‘Now. Your name, and why ya on my ship?’ Her voice was crisp and icy.

‘Jacob. I needed a way out of town.’

CJ’s hand flew to her sword. ‘You some sort of thief on the run?’

‘No! I just- my mom kicked me out.’

‘Oh?’ She looked at this bruised,cut, and starved frail child. He was alone with no one to turn to except himself. CJ felt her heart cave slightly when she saw his sunken eyes and skinny body. She looked at this boy and saw herself.

“CJ reached for the boy’s hand and pulled him out onto the deck leaving her sword in its sheath.

‘Get the boy a chair!’ She yelled as they reached the deck.”

Mom’s trunk had a bunch of crumpled up papers with illegible writing and maps of places I had never heard. It had words inscribed and carved into the top of the trunk. I could only make out my mother's name. Cara Jane Seaton. I had always assumed that's where she got the name CJ for her stories. Of course, I was supposed to be the little boy. I thought at least.

“A chair was brought for Jacob and he sat with a look of weariness painting his face. CJ went below deck and the crewmen watched the new visitor warily.

“Captain CJ returned and turned to the men. ‘Get to your jobs men! Turn us toward the west and straight on.’ She turned to Jacob and pulled his arm gently toward her. A cut ran down from his shoulder to his wrist and many small slits crossed over it. She pulled a rag from her coat and dipped it into the salty sea. When she returned she grabbed Jacob’s hand. ‘This might hurt you very much, and I'm sorry, but it is necessary.’ The poison and fierceness in her voice had melted away and her hands were warm and gentle.

“Jacob gasped as the rag was gently pressed to his wound. He blinked back the reflex tears growing in his eyes and the pain slowly faded. He had a small smile that warmed the ice around CJ’s heart, but she would never let it show. Soon, CJ had cleaned all his wounds and he was escorted to a room.

“ ‘Now, get some rest and I’ll figure out what to do with ya in the morning.’ The toughness in her voice was beginning to creep back as she went to her own quarters for much needed rest.

“When morning arrived and CJ went down to get Jacob, he was still sound asleep, but his face looked peaceful, like he hadn't slept without fear in weeks, or months. CJ let him sleep and retreated to the deck.

“She let her crew rest as she steered the ship. She watched the sun and the darkness of the sky fade.

‘Captain?’ A small voice was heard.

‘Jacob!’ CJ whirled around and there stood little Jacob, looking ruffled from sleep but his wounds were improved greatly. She went to his side and led him into her cabin. ‘I have breakfast for you. And warmer clothes too. It gets cold out here ya know.’ Her voice softened.

‘Thanks.’ He stayed quiet. He reached for the clothes and disappeared behind the curtain CJ had put up.

‘Jacob? You're quiet. Are you ok?’ CJ wanted the boy to trust her.

‘I'm worried about my mum.’

‘Why? She kicked you out.’

‘Yes, and even though she was brutal I took care of her.’

‘I'm sure she is going to be fine. She will find someone to care for her. You shouldn't worry.’ She moved to comfort Jacob and felt her heart soften with his smile. The ice around her heart had begun to melt and she hated and loved it both at once.

At the bottom of the trunk was a small box locked with a tight latch. On top of it, most the papers had marks and illegible writing but one of them was very clear it was a map of the Pacific Ocean from what looked like California to somewhere I couldn't make out. Right where moms stories used to take place. There was a red dot labeled with a J and a near the island cluster labeled with an X and a J.

“For two years Jacob stayed with CJ and she taught him the ways of the sea. Their relationship grew and he became like a son to CJ.

“One day after they had left dock, The Searcher heard gunshots from a nearby ship. You could see the smoke headed for them and the cannons preparing for fire.

‘Ready the Cannons! We're under attack! Jacob! Head below deck!’

‘But-’

‘Now!’ She pulled him down the stairs and bent to grab his arms. ‘No matter what, stay down here until I come get you, alright? Promise me.’

‘I promise.’

‘Ok. Go!’ She hugged him and left him alone. ‘Men! Set sail for the east. We don't want a fight today! Head away from them!’

‘Yes Captain!’

“Cannons fired again and fell short only be mere yards. Shots filled the air as the crewmen took their aim.

‘Fight back men!’ She drew her bow and steadied her arm. The ship was closer now and she could see the shooters. CJ let arrow after arrow fly taking down each shooter.

“A shell shot out from the opposite ship and it flew true toward The Searcher. It seemed in slow motion that it hurled toward CJ and her crew. It whistled and they dove for cover, shielding themselves. The shell missed the deck but ripped a hole through the lower ship and the unmistakable sound of rushing water filled the air.

‘We're going down!’ A crewman yelled.

‘Jacob!’ CJ rushed down below and screamed for the little boy who had become her friend. ‘Jacob! Jacob! Where are you?’

‘CJ?’ It was a weak call and that scared CJ. She had begun to love the little boy who wasn't so little anymore. When she closed her eyes she saw the frail thin boy who had stowed away on her ship two years ago. He was the only person she had opened her heart to and couldn't bear to lose him.

‘Jacob? Where are you?’

‘Over here.’

“She followed his voice and trudged through the deepening water to the barrels stacked to the ceiling. Sitting wedged in between the barrel stacks was Jacob. He was cut on his face again from the blast and he looked in a lot of pain wedged between those barrels. CJ knocked aside some of the crates in her way and gently pulled Jacob from the mess. The water was rising quickly and was easily at CJ's knees.

‘Come on.’ CJ held Jacob in her arms and began trudging back through the water and up to the deck.

‘CAPTAIN! WE’RE GOING DOWN!’

“ ‘Well abandon ship then men!’ She shouted to the crew. The ship had sailed much closer and was still firing at them with cannons. Another one hit home and CJ held Jacob beneath her. The firearm hit the deck this time and the crew was thrown into the water. She lost Jacob. CJ surfaced and grabbed a plank of wood from the water to keep her afloat.

‘JACOB!’ She screamed out over the water. Her crewmen were beginning to surface but Jacob was nowhere to be found. No longer caring what her men thought, she dove and searched but Jacob was not to be found anywhere. ‘No, he can't be gone. Where is he? I would have found a body! Where is he? JACOB!’ Captain CJ cried. She went into hysterics and she searched for her son like apprentice for as long as she could.

“ After hours of floating and screaming, CJ could not find Jacob and gave up hope. She cried until she could cry no more. She felt her heart harden and grow cold as she felt all her love and trust be drained from her. She had opened her heart and this is what happens. He is ripped from her too. Soon a ship came from behind and a hand pulled CJ from the water.

‘Get your hands off me!’ She screamed and reached for her sword. She drew the blade and whirled putting the blade to the man’s throat.

‘Well, you're welcome. Captain Kade.’ He pushed CJ's blade away from his throat and bowed slightly.

‘Captain CJ.’ She sheathed her sword but kept a hand on the hilt.

‘Come, let me show you your room. If you want it of course?’

“CJ no longer had any energy to fight this captain or do anything so she followed him but kept a eye on his crew and never let down her guard.”

“Mommy, skip to the happily ever after.”

“I'm sad to say that all happy endings aren't forever after, Jacob.”

“But, what happens?”

“CJ went with Captain Kade to sail the world in search of her parents. She was still cold inside at first and for a while but eventually it softened slightly and she came to tolerate Captain Kade. For many years they traveled the seven seas and became the most feared duo. CJ eventually learned that her father was a king of a great fallen kingdom, and he fell with it. Her mother was murdered when she was three and that's when her dad left her, wiping her memory of them.

“Every year Kade and CJ returned to where CJ's ship sunk and Jacob disappeared. They would drop things they stole to the bottom as tribute. Eventually the duo retired and moved to land where they began a family. CJ named her son Jake in honor of Jacob and they stayed there for many years, in fact to this day they live there only 500 miles from Jacob’s site.” Mom always had a British accent too.

I packed up mom’s maps and charts into the chest and slid it back under the bed. I missed my mothers imagination most. As I left the room, I heard a knock on the front door. I moved to open it and there stood a man in his thirties at least.

“Hello,” He wrung his hands, “Are you Jacob Seaton?”

“Yes, that's me.”

“I was told you might know where a woman named CJ is. I'm Jacob.”