40.1
88 Reads
2 Favorites
where the b()ys are
(dedication)
for all of the girls in my life:
we were not always lucky
in fact, i think i am the most unlucky of all
but i struck gold
when i met you
Log in
or
Join Tablo
to comment on this chapter...
(table of contents)
PROLOGUE
may 15, 2017 (misunderstandings)
MOVEMENT ONE: THE FIRST
march 24, 2017 (memories)
april 15, 2017 (straddling lessons)
may 22, 2017 (11:04/11:14)
MOVEMENT TWO: MY DEAREST
march 17-march 22, 2016 (la galerie des mots non-dites)
september 27, 2016 (to feel again)
october 1, 2016 (“there,”)
november 21, 2016 (crushes)
may 10, 2017 (if it will mean anything)
may 17, 2017 (un feu)
may 21, 2017 (dream within a dream)
MOVEMENT THREE: MOONBOY
unknown date (sonata for the stars)
unknown date (what i wanted to say that one day in physics)
march 21, 2017 (a kiss to build my dreams on)
april 1, 2017 (schoolwork)
MOVEMENT FOUR: SAXOPHONE BOY
april 6, 2017 (the domesticity of desire)
april 11, 2017 (uncharted waters)
april 13, 2017 (the moment of disenchantment, unfinished)
april 15, 2017 (how to kill yourself without actually dying)
may 3, 2017 (to the class of 2017)
may 5, 2017 (the geography of heartbreak)
may 12, 2017 (to give yourself away)
EPILOGUE
march 22, 2017 (je suis une femme)
(prologue/misunderstandings)
every part of me has always wanted to be where the boys are. i was most comfortable existing among them. ironically, i was least in my element when i was with them, in a different kind of way. there’s something exhilarating about being rejected (without actually being rejected) and having the guy of your dreams turn out to be the guy of your nightmares. and the guy in between is too kind and oblivious for his own good.
it is a sorry and bewildering place: where the boys are. but us women, it’s the world we live in.
i’ve never met a man
who wanted the same thing as me
not at the same time, at least
not in the same sense, at least
it’s a hopeless cycle of
misunderstandings
you’d think that i’d be used to
the humiliation
by now
and i am
but i can’t say
that it’s a welcome feeling
if anything
it’s just that:
a feeling
you begin to wonder if every proposal
is a joke
a malady of misconstrued intents
may 15, 2017
5:13 PM
montrose, tx
MOVEMENT ONE: the first
march 24, 2017 (memories)
april 15, 2017 (straddling lessons)
may 22, 2017 (11:04/11:14)
MOVEMENT TWO: my dearest
march 17-march 22, 2016 (la galerie des mots non-dites)
(an interlude)
september 27, 2016 (to feel again)
october 1, 2016 ("there,")
november 21, 2016 (crushes)
may 10, 2017 (if it will mean anything)
may 17, 2017 (un feu)
may 21, 2017 (dream within a dream)
MOVEMENT THREE: moonboy
unknown date (sonata for the stars)
unknown date (what i wanted to say that one day in physics)
march 21, 2017 (a kiss to build my dreams on)
april 1, 2017 (schoolwork)
MOVEMENT FOUR: saxophone boy
april 5, 2017 (the domesticity of desire)
april 11, 2017 (uncharted waters)
april 13, 2017 (the moment of disenchantment, unfinished)
april 15, 2017 (how to kill yourself without actually dying)
may 3, 2017 (to the class of 2017)
may 5, 2017 (the geography of heartbreak)
may 12, 2017 (to give yourself away)
(epilogue/je suis une femme)
~