Diary Of My Love Life

 

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Preface

 

 

 

 

Thirteen. The age of change from being a child to maturing into those teenage years. So many things change just in that one year. Don't worry, I'm not talking about the awkward, confusing, sometimes horrifying changes to our bodies. I'm talking about those weird changes that happen when you start looking at the opposite sex. You no longer see them as someone with "cooties". You start thinking "Wow, they're cute!". You see them in a different light. You develop feelings that you cant quite understand and it seems to just come out of nowhere. They start being the person you can't stop thinking about, want to see more often, and maybe even end up dating. WHOA! STOP! DO NOT MOVE! DO NOT PASS GO! 

 

 

Let me explain, this is one of those stories. From my point of view and my point of view only. It may or may not have a happy ending. I can't quite tell you because this crush is still going on. I want to let you see my diary. My diary starting from 2008 when I first figured out I really liked this boy. It wasn't a "Oh, he's pretty cute" type of thing. Oh no, it was more of realizing what it means to like a boy who you know would be a "crush" for more than just a measly minute. 

 

 

Am I making sense? No? Well hopefully by the end you'll understand...

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April 11, 2008

Dear Diary,



What is wrong with me? I've had crushes before but what is this? 

I thought liking Jack all of last year was a big deal but now it seems so foreign. 

Tommy, Cole, Cory and the rest of the "popular" guys, now those are the ones I've always thought I'd find myself crushing on but no. 

No, it had to be Josh. Josh McGrady. The guy I've known since Kindergarten and who's great Aunt has lived next to me for years. 

Yes, the same guy who has a scar on his back because of that tiny little incident. Okay maybe pushing him into barbed wire for throwing a bouncy ball at my dog was a little excessive but I swear it was an accident. I didn't know it was behind us. I guess I should be grateful that he didn't tell on me and instead lied and said he tripped. We were about 9 at the time and looking back, I probably wouldn't have been as nice. 

Still, this is Josh we're talking about. Tall, tan, green-eyed, slightly high pitched, Josh! Oh who am I kidding? He's cute, funny, absolutely sweet and exactly someone any girl would be lucky to crush on. 

My friends don't even know I like him. Hell, until what happened at school today, I didn't realize I liked him! 

It wasn't even anything significant but to me, was the biggest deal in the world. 



It started out like any other day for a 8th grader. 

The usual boring classes, the usual seat in the cafeteria for lunch and the usual standing around during recess. 

Then came 8th period science. 

I usually hate that class because science isn't my thing and I'm one of the only 3 girls in class. 

Today was one of those partnering up for a project but there can only be 2 to a group type of day. 

Well, when the other 2 girls are best friends, you have no choice but to partner up with a guy. 

I guess it shouldn't be so bad since I've known everyone in class since at least Elementary school (perks of living in a small town) but of course they'd rather partner up with their buddies. 

Well, while I was just sitting there waiting for everyone else to partner up so I could see who was left out like me, Josh comes over.

 I thought this was weird considering he usually partnered with his best friend Logan. 

However, Josh stands next to my desk and asks me to be his partner. 

When I questioned him about it he simply said "Because I want to". 

He then gave one of those cheesy smiles with a little laugh and I honestly cannot remember how the rest of class went.

 I can't recall anything else we talked about, heck, I can't even tell you what the project was. 



What I can tell you though is that I've honestly never felt like this. 

THE BUTTERFLIES ARE REAL. 

I'M FREAKING OUT. 

HELP! 

I really hope these feelings pass soon. He's my kinda, sorta friend. I mean we haven't really hung out outside of school but I see him every day at school. 

We basically have the same group of friends. 

There is only like 50 of us in my grade so of course. 

Still, this is all too weird. 

Maybe things tomorrow will be different? 

Here's to hoping!

✌🏼

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May 23,2008

 Dear diary,


I guess I'm not very good at keeping up with this whole diary thing.

Oh well...

This past month or so has been interesting though.

8th grade graduation is tonight and I can't express enough how much I'm looking forward to being a Freshman in August!

I'm so over junior high already.

So my crush on Josh is still there.

Unfortunately.

To make matters worse, I think the crush has gone from somewhere around a 4 (on a scale of 1-10) to at least a 7...

Last week, we had our annual field trip to the waterpark and even with Josh being so cute & obviously fit, I love that he is still a little self conscious to the point that he didn't go shirtless unlike almost every other guy in school did.

Thinking about it now though, I really hope it's not because of the scar.

I'd hate to be the reason for that.

I couldn't stop staring at him (creepy, yes I know) & even got a few pictures in while taking them of my friends.

Memories, ya know?

Not to mention the one I took of him this morning before school started.

I don't know what came over me but I just went up to him and told him to smile.

Surprisingly, he obliged.

Hopefully, this crush will pass though.

I mean summer vacation starts tomorrow and highly doubt I'll run into Josh at all.

Then comes high school where I hope that my classes with him in it are minimal. 

I only had 3 classes with him this year and that was more than enough.

Besides, there are a lot of cute older guys in high school who I can totally see myself crushing on.

Hello seniors ;)

Either way, I cannot wait!

Well I guess I better go get ready for graduation. 

Goodbye junior high & hello high school!

✌🏼

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September 17, 2008

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August 25, 2008

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