Life After Death

 

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Dedication

 

 

 

For all the pain I allowed myself to feel after so long,

the nights I stopped fighting and chose to love all of me.

My loved ones that allowed me to open up, share my darkness and continued to love me the same, if not more. 

Last but not least,

I would to like to dedicate this book to the memory of my Godfather, Wilfred.

A piece of my sunshine here on earth, things haven’t been the same since you’ve left our side.

Rest in Heaven. 

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Open Letter

I acknowledged my demons, 
One by one 
Spent time with them 
Got to know them really well 
Learned about their births, their purpose and why they followed me around like a child that’s been away from their mother all day
They wanted to be real, feel alive 
I didn’t put up much of a fight either 
I got so familiar they no longer felt like demons 
But a friend with a bad influence 
Leading me astray down a dark alley conveniently no where to be found when shit gets real
You know, the friend you vow never to talk to again 
Somehow letting them back in with their smooth words
Once again waking up with sunglasses & Advil cause last night was mad real ₁
So is the addiction to the thrill 
Living life with no regard to the present 
But of course, the come down is the worst part 
Left alone in the destruction from the storm you caused 
Left to start over, rebuild, create a masterpiece using what you were able to salvage from the debris 
The closer I got 
The more they wanted to stop me from my accomplishments 
I thank them though 
Cause without them I wouldn’t have anything to stand upon 
Never heard a realer statement than keep your friends close and your enemies closer
Get them comfortable
Get them to show their hand 
Reveal their true name 
Keep em on a short leash 
After all they’re apart of me, I at least owe them that respect 
Not too sure where this journey will lead me
But that’s the thing about a revolution you don’t plan them 
One’s thing for sure though
I can’t go back to hell
I’m way too pretty 

 ₁ - Kanye West - Church in the Wild 

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Dear Death

Dear Death,
Thanks to you, I’m alive again
You cut me loose before I collapsed in your arms
& instead of falling deeper into the pits of despair,
I decided to spread my wings and fly
Dear Death,
You brought my sunshine back, I can see again.
You taught me I’m the only one I’ll ever need
I no longer crave your energy
I don’t need you to hold my hand
I laid around with your poison slowly moving through my system
Deteriorating my body and mind 
Had me hiding in plain sight, trying to cover up the zombie inside 
I waited to see if you would be at the foot of my bed to bring me back
But all I saw was the version of myself that I seeked
She reached out her hand, lifted me up and that’s all I ever needed.
Goodbye death, we can no longer dance this dance
We can’t be friends
Dear Death,
I missed your call
I called back out of genuine curiosity
I wanted to see what you would have to say after you almost killed me
Your sweet words mixed with my familiarity brought me back without hesitation
You wrapped me in your arms just right
I had to remind myself that this was dangerous territory
we fell into our routine so easily
But I had to remind myself that this wasn’t right
No, no this right here was way too easy
No you can’t have me anymore
For my sake and sanity
I flipped the script and dug below the surface
All to find that you’re lonely
You brought me back to sit in the dark with you
I tried to share what your darkness did to me
& like before you turned me away
Tried to shine my light but you’d rather stay dark and cloudy
I made a promise to my precious little soul to never turn back to what doesn’t care about my peace of mind 
I realized you don’t care about my well being and I was only feeding your presence
Claiming the blessings I was called here to fulfill
No longer accepting anything less than life 
Dear death,
You’re no good for me, you can sit alone in your misery

 

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Breaking The Veil

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Escaped Convict

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Comfort Inn

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Is It All Make-Believe (Collab with Moscato Papi)

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Dead End (Collab with Russell)

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