March 15th, 2008
11:42 pm

This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some form of sick nightmare, drudged up from the deepest recesses of his subconscious. Inc blinked his eyes once, twice, three times, trying desperately to dispel the sight of the red and blue flashing police lights as they bounced off the narrow alley walls and bled through his retinas into his brain.

“You did the right thing, son.”

Inc lifted his eyes from where they were directed at his shoes to offer up a half-hearted smile. The officer’s words were appreciated, but completely ineffective. Where they were meant to ease anxiety, they only succeeded in increasing it. Hearing his voice and seeing his face seemed only to drive the reality of the situation home for Inc. This was happening, and even though he didn’t regret his decision, it was far too late now to second-guess himself.

It was an inarguable fact that this was entirely Nic’s fault. The young man he had shared a womb with in infancy had morphed into a monster Inc didn’t recognize, and had forged a path down a dark side road no one in their right mind could condone. Blood may be thicker than water, but right was right and wrong was wrong. In this case, Nic was wrong.

He had tried to rationalize with him at first. It had been a discussion that erupted into a near-physical altercation, climaxing with a threat on Inc’s life if he dared breathe a word to anyone and the slamming of a door that had echoed in the silence for what felt like an eternity. Nic had made the choice for him, and Inc had acted accordingly despite the consequences.

“You don’t have to be here for this. Head down to the station, and you can do any needed identifying through a two-way mirror. We want to take every step to protect your identity.”

Inc shook his head and sighed, fishing in the pocket of his jacket and extracting a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a zippo lighter. He pulled a single one out using his teeth and clenched the pack in his hand, flipping the lid of the zippo open and striking the flint until it produced a flame.

“There’s no need for that. I assure you, they know who’s responsible.”

“I still don’t think it’s safe for you to be here.”

“I could give a fuck less about my safety right now.”

And it was the truth. There was little need for discrepencies; Nic had found himself a new family, and undoubtedly they knew every single word exchanged between the twins only mere hours before. There was no doubt who was behind the bust, just as there was no doubt that every last member of the self-professed ‘gang’ had been in that warehouse when the police kicked the door in. Nic had trusted Inc with far more secrets than he should have, and it hadn’t been hard to pinpoint when the entire group would be in attendence for an initiation meeting. The same initiation, in fact, that Inc refused to take part in.

“Suit yourself. Just understand that we can’t protect you once they’ve seen your face.”

“I understand.”

As though they were actors waiting for their cue line just off stage, the police came marching out of the darkness of the warehouse with gang members in tow. A few of the young men cursed, screamed and fought, requiring the strength of two officers and the added protection of spit masks and ankle cuffs. Most, however, marched silently along with heads held in a slight bow and shoulders slumped in something related to defeat. They were walked past him one by one, and though their heads never moved, their eyes shifted to make just the briefest of contact. Each glance sent a jolt of cold fire through Inc, and by the time Nic was finally led past, the elder Pesani twin felt as though a chill had settled into his bones that would never go away.

Nic halted in his slow, measured cadence when he finally registered who was sitting on the curb staring up at him, and his lips curled back in a sneer as his blue eyes narrowed into slits. Time seemed to slow and then stop entirely. Reality broke off in fractured pieces until all Inc was aware of was the sound of his blood pulsing in his ears and the unbridled fury painted across his brother’s face like a war mask. Nic tipped his head back slightly and cupped his lips, and the wad of spit that flew from his mouth hit the pavement at Inc’s feet moments before the officer leading his brother spoke and started time back up once again.

“Keep walking.”

Nic turned his gaze forward and lifted his head, chin raised and shoulders back, as he placed right foot in front of left and continued moving. Inc swallowed heavily and nearly choked on the taste of vomit in his throat, tucking his hands down between his legs to hide his trembling. A hand on his shoulder made him jump, and he turned a wide-eyed gaze to the officer crouching next to him.

“It’s over now. You best go home and get some sleep. If we need you, we’ll call you.”

Inc rose on legs that were surprisingly steady and walked adjacent to the alley wall, taking a left when he reached the main road and letting his shadow dance on the side of the warehouse as he jogged the few hundred feet to where his car was parked. He pulled the unlocked driver’s side door open and dropped into the seat, leaning his head against the steering wheel as he fought against a wave of nausea.

“... fuck me…”

His cell phone screamed through the silence and he jolted upright, glancing at the name displayed on the screen before swiping the accept option and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Hey, mom…”

“Icarus?! Where are you?! We just got a call from the police station that your brother’s been arrested!”

“Yeah, I… I know, mom. I know.”

“What do you mean, you know?”

Inc sighed and retrieved his keys from his pocket, jamming them into the ignition and turning the engine over. He shut the driver’s side door and fumbled with his seat belt, deciding he had drank his fill of the police for the evening. If he were to get pulled over for something as stupid as failure to buckle up, he may very well have an emotional breakdown and end up hauled off to the hospital for intense observation.

“Look, mom… I’m coming home now. I’ll explain when I get there.”

He disconnected the call before she could reply and dropped the phone in the empty passenger’s seat, shifting his car into first and releasing the emergency break before pulling out onto the deserted road. As he navigated his way through the lifeless streets of the industrial district of Denver, the officer’s words rang in his ears, a sick track set on endless repeat.

It’s over now. You did the right thing. It’s over now.

Inc smiled mirthlessly to no one in particular, reaching for his cigarettes and lighter. The situation was blanketed in a false sense of control. For tonight, the police had won, and he could sleep without fear of retaliation.

But it was far from over. In fact, the ice that had settled in his bones told him that this was just the beginning.

September 26th, 2011
7:02 am

Seven am was far too early to be awake, let alone at work. Inc ran a hand over his face to a vain attempt to dispel the sleep that was still clinging stubborning in his eyes, opening his mouth in a wide yawn as he leaned back in his chair to stretch the kinks out of his spine.

“Are you quite finished, Mr. Pesani?”

Inc waited for about ten seconds to see if the other ‘Mr. Pesani’ that was present in the room was going to speak up. When he didn’t, Inc surmised that Kori was talking to him and cracked his eyes opening, glaring up at her blurrily.

“Nope. But I don’t want to hear you bitch at me, so I guess I’ll sit still so you can get this damn meeting underway.”

“Language, Icarus. And don’t forget, I can have you fired.”

“You wouldn’t have the heart. Besides, you’re too short staffed to let me go.”

Kori screwed her face up in obvious annoyance and Inc chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking down into his seat, using the plush back as a pillow for his neck as he tipped his head back.

“If you’re going to fire anyone, I’d start with the other ‘Mr. Pesani’. One of us is more than enough, if you ask me. And I was here first.”

The atmosphere in the room shifted, and Inc didn’t have to turn to look over his shoulder to know that Nic was glaring at him. He could feel his brother’s gaze drilling a hole in the back of his skull, which was a sensation he had become accustomed to over the past two months following Nic’s employment at InternationalGlobus.com. Someone up there had to hate him, because there was no other explanation for how the man he had turned over to the police three and a half years ago had scored employment with the same company, in the same department, immediately following his release from prison. InternationalGlobus.com ran background checks on their employees, but Nic’s plea bargain had rendered his crime as being non-violent, and the owner of the company had decided to give certain criminals the chance to rehabilitate themselves in an employment setting. So here Nic was, bound to an obligation to follow all requirements of his parole and to attend bi-weekly appointments with a company-appointed therapist. If Inc didn’t have such close familial relationships with Nic, he might actually believe the program was working for him.

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Inc. Could I perhaps ask you to leave your personal familial grudges at the front door?”

Kori beat Nic to whatever it was he was undoubtedly going to say, and Inc couldn’t help the soft sigh of relief that slipped out from between his lips. In all of her five-foot-nothing might, Kori could certainly be a firecracker. However, she was much easier to deal with than Nic was. He wasn’t sure if she had intervened because she was trying to lighten the tension, or if she was simply annoyed. Either way, Inc wasn’t complaining.

“Whatever. Just get on with it. I have some sleep to catch up on, and my desk is a Hell of a lot more comfortable than this damn chair is.”

Kori appeared as though she wanted to say more, but realized at the last moment that they would be stuck in this meeting all day if she didn’t drop it and move on.

“Right. First off, I want to thank everyone for their hard work last month. Not only did we input more data than we’ve ever done before, but we also had our highest accuracy percentages of all time. Despite the fact that most of you come to work half-awake, half-dressed, and half an hour late, you manage to enter information quickly and correctly. So as much as it kills me to let go of the fact that nearly all of you are wearing tennis shoes, your pants are riding way too low, and your shirts are out of dress code, I won’t gripe about it this month because of last month’s successes. But if your numbers for this month drop, every last one of you will be wearing business professional attire until New Years. And I’ll actually start enforcing the tardy policy.”

There was a collective groan from nearly every employee in the room, and Inc bit back on his comment that she sounded more like she was insulting them than complimenting them. Kori had a habit of threatening to enforce company policies on an almost-daily basis. She had yet to do so, and he sometimes wondered if she just enjoyed hearing herself talk, or perhaps suffered from some short woman syndrome that she coped with by waving her metaphorical gonads in their faces every Monday at five minutes after seven in the morning.

“Now I know that everyone here is just itching to get back to their desks so they can start their work day, but we have a new employee joining us today. Since none of you seem to feel the need to waste an ounce of respect on me, I’m asking you to please show her at least enough respect that she isn’t compelled to run away screaming by the end of her first week here.”

Kori stepped aside as a girl who was only about three inches taller than she was rose from her seat in the front row and stepped up next to her, turning around to face the small crowd. Inc glanced up disinterestedly, intending upon giving her a quick once-over so he could remember her just well enough to not forget her name, if ever they needed to actually communicate.

If Inc were to be honest with himself, he had to admit that she certainly wasn't hard on the eyes. She couldn’t top out at more than five foot five inches, and that was being generous. Her hair was dark and thick, and reminded Inc of oil as it cascaded down her back and tapered off just below her waistline. The best way to describe her body would be curvy, as was evidenced by the way her breasts perfectly filled out the green top she was wearing and her black pants gave her hips the appearance of being sculpted. Her stomach was flat but her waistline was thick, and a slight dusting of eyeshadow and eyeliner brought out her green eyes. Standing next to Kori, dressed in her token flower-print dress with her short blonde hair in Marilyn Monroe curls, the new girl was a dark beauty that reminded Inc of a modern-day Betty Paige.

“This is Ravena Hanning. She just moved here from Anchorage, Alaska.”

“Rave. Just Rave, please.”

Rave was soft-spoken, but her tone was firm and left no room for argument.

“Very well, then. Rave it is. Your name tag still has to reflect your full name, but nobody ever looks at those anyway. If they did, Inc would never live down the embarrassment of his full name. Isn't that right, Icarus?”

Inc snapped his attention away from Rave to glare at Kori, who laughed in reply.

“You’re one to talk, Korianna.”

Kori’s laugh only increased in intensity and duration, and once she seemed to get her early morning giggles out, she composed herself and turned to address the group once more.

“That’s all I have for now. Happy Monday, everyone. Rave, I’m going to pair you with Inc for the moment. He’s a total slack off, and he’s not what I’d call warm and fuzzy, but he knows his job in and out. You’ll be in good hands. If you have any further questions that he can’t answer, don’t hesitate to come ask me. My desk is the one with the giant inflatable palm tree.”

***

“So, have you ever done any kind of work like this before?”

They were sitting on the smoker’s patio, each with a half-eaten tray of spagetti and meatballs set before them and a cigarette balanced between pointer and middle finger. Inc had feared that Rave would be one of those girls who talked incessantly, but had been pleasantly surprised when she’d only spoken to ask questions relevent to the job. She had endured the four-hour-long online training manual without complaint, and seemed to quickly pick up on what was required of her and how she was to go about getting things done. Inc had always been one who enjoyed avoiding petty and meaningless conversation, but even he had to admit that Rave was quieter and more withdrawn than what was normal. It was rare that he was the one to attempt to break the ice, but there was something frustratingly entrancing about her silence.

“No.”

Inc waited for her to elaborate on her past work experience, and when she stared at him with a look that pointedly expressed that she had said all she was going to say, he fumbled for something more to say.

“Well, it’s not a hard job. To be honest, a monkey could do it. You’ll notice that over half of our coworkers fit that description perfectly, and they somehow manage to get their shit done. Kori builds the position up to be a lot more important and challenging than it actually is. Once you get the hang of it, you can do it in your sleep. Good Lord knows that I do half the time.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up ever so slightly, and she reached out for her pack of cigarettes to retrieve a fresh one and light it up.

“So why Colorado? Isn’t Alaska a lot more exciting?”

“Not really. The tourists would tell you otherwise, but the natives know better. From what I’ve seen so far, they really aren’t that different. Colorado has less sunlight in the summer and more in the winter, and there’s more people here than in Anchorage. Outside of that, it’s about the same. Though I will be relieved to not have to plug my car into an outlet in the winter, or pay a small fortune for groceries.”

So she could speak after all. Her voice was still just as soft as it had been when she’d corrected Kori at the meeting, but she articulated herself well and it was easy for Inc to understand her. She seemed straight forward and simple in her interactions, and that was something Inc could appreciate. Filler words were a waste of time and energy, and it seemed as though just about every coworker he had was content to take the longest route to explaining anything.

“You know, she’s been here for several hours now, and you have yet to let her branch out and introduce herself to anyone else she works with, Inc. There’s no need to be so rude.”

Nic’s voice was light and playful as he approached the table and leaned against it, turning his back to Inc so he could give Rave a toothy grin. His short, dark brown hair was styled spiked up, leaving his strong jawline and bright blue eyes open and exposed. Up until four years ago Nic had worn his hair at chin-length, a style identical to Inc’s, and it had made it painfully difficult for most people to tell the identical twins apart. Now, however, no one had a problem with discerning between the two.

“I’m Nic. It’s nice to meet you.”

Nic extended his hand out to Rave, who hesitated for a long moment before reaching out and taking it, shaking it briskly before retracting her hand back under the table.

“Rave. Likewise. Though I’d like to set the record straight about your prior statement. Your brother hasn’t done anything to discourage me communicating with my new coworkers. I’ve been focused on learning my new job.”

The unspoken ‘I don’t want to branch out, anyway’ hung in the air between them, and Nic’s smile faltered slightly when Rave shifted in her seat slightly and returned her attention to Inc, making it glaringly apparent that she assumed the short introductory conversation to be concluded.

“So you’re new to Denver. If you’d like, I could take you out sightseeing sometime. It’s a big city, and there’s a lot to see. We have some killer restaurants here too. How about this Friday evening?”

If Inc still had a shred of affection for his brother, he undoubtedly would have tinged pink in embarrassment at Nic’s vapid and overly obvious attempt to ask Rave out. Nic had always been blessed with a friendly personality and a charsima that drew people to him, and he was usually able to persuade women into accepting invitations for dates with little to no apparent effort. However, he usually took a little more time to get to know them before moving in for the killing blow, and his bold move had surprised even Inc, if even just a little. Either Nic was severely off his game today, or there was something about the new coworker that entranced him.

“No thanks.”

Her reply was so quick and so pointed that Inc almost burst out laughing. He couldn’t see the look on his brother’s face, but the sag of Nic’s shoulders and the large step back he took away from the table told him all he needed to know. He hadn’t been expecting rejection, and wasn’t sure how to respond to it.

“Well… maybe another time, then. Once you’ve gotten more adjusted to living here and we know each other a little better.”

Rave shifted her eyes up to Nic’s face and held her gaze steady for several long moments, her expression deadpanned and one thin eyebrow raised. Nic took another step back, towards the door, and Inc could finally see the pensive smile decorating his brother’s features.

“Right. Well, then. See you later.”

He turned and retreated back inside the building, the patio door clicking shut behind him. Rave sighed softly and turned her attention back to Inc, shoulders relaxing and brow smoothing out.

“You share a gene pool with him?”

Inc quirked a half smile, gathering up his cigarettes and his half empty tray as he rose to his feet.
“Unfortunately. Come on, let’s get inside. You don’t want to hear Kori bitch about you being back late from break on your first day.”

“Inc, will you be coming over for dinner this weekend? You know your father would love it if we could all have a meal together. It’s been… quite a long time since we’ve been able to enjoy each other’s company.”

“I sure the Hell hope you aren’t trying to imply that that’s my fault.”

Donna Pesani sighed softly on the other end of the phone. Inc could picture her in the kitchen, pacing back and forth between fridge and counter, her arms loaded with fresh produce and bagged pasta and anything else she may need for that evening’s meal. His father would have just returned home from work and would be in his study, sipping at a cup filled with black coffee as he read over whatever paperwork he hadn’t been able to leave at the office. James Pesani was a lawyer who worked exclusively with pro-bono juvenile cases. His job had never brought in much in the way of money, but he felt as though he was making a difference with the clientel he services, and Donna had made a sizeable side income publishing her short stories in a few different compilation books that had become decently popular. They were by no means rich, but they were well off, and the Pesani twins had never wanted for anything growing up.

“Icarus, this needs to stop. I don’t understand why Nicholas and you can’t stand to be around each other for dinner. You work together.”

“That was hardly my decision. I make good money at my job and the economy is shit. Besides, we’re never in close proximity of each other at work. We don’t talk, either.”

This conversation was a weekly occurrance, and Inc was starting to lose the last of his patience with it. If it had been entirely up to him, the ties between his brother and himself would have been mended a long time ago. Actually, had it been up to him, they never would have been severed in the first place. The charges against his brother had thrown the entire family for a loop, and his mother was still trying to make sense of what exactly had happened and where she had managed to go wrong in raising her younger twin boy. It had been thanks to his father’s expertise in law that Nic had accepted the plea bargain offered to him, because initially he had wanted to take his chances in court. His decision to follow their father’s advice had potentially spared Nic years in prison and had absolved Inc of his obligation of testifying as a witness at his brother’s trial. He had still been ordered to appear at seven other hearings, but facing men he had only met once before in his life proved far less emotionally upsetting than the idea of sending his own twin to prison.

“This will never get worked out if the two of you don’t both put in an effort to make things better, Icarus.”

“Try telling Nic that, mom. I’m not the one who decided to sever the ties. I’m not the one that broke the law, either. If you want us to fix this, start off by convincing Nic to stop being such a dickhead.”

“Language, Icarus.”

There was a knock on Inc’s door, and he rose from the couch and crossed the living room as he muttered some half-hearted apology to his mother for referring to Nic as exactly what he was.

“Look, I have to go. I have company. Maybe you, dad, and I can have dinner at the house once Nic’s ankle monitor is removed and he’s free to leave for a few hours.”

“Inc, that’s a year and a half from now.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, mom. I’ll talk to you later.”

He disconnected the call and slipped the phone into his jacket pocket, undoing the latch on his door and pulling it open. Lydia stood on the other side, hand on her hip and shoulder-length brown hair bound back in a loose ponytail. She gave him a smile and stepped into the apartment without waiting for an invitation, her slender body dangerously close to his own. She placed a hand on his chest and leaned up towards him for a kiss, and Inc pushed her hand away and took a step back to put at least a little more distance between them. He shut the door and locked it behind himself before making his way back towards the living room.

“You’re late.”

“I know. Sorry.”

There was no sincerety in her tone, but Inc hadn’t expected there to be any.

“I was surprised that you called me. It’s been a few weeks. I was starting to suspect you’d lost interest. It’s not nice to keep a girl waiting, Inc.”

If Inc hadn’t needed a distraction so badly, he might have actually stopped to feel offended at her words. They weren’t dating. They hadn’t been dating. They never would be dating. Of course, it would be really fucking nice if someone would remind her of that fact.

“Are you going to stand there and continue to babble incessantly, or are we going to get down to business?”

If Aimee was offended, she make sure not to show it. Her purse and jacket were abandoned on the couch within moments, and her shirt was halfway up over her head by the time she turned towards his open bedroom door. The pink garment found a new home on the floor, and her bra and jeans soon followed. Inc followed the proverbial crumb trail across the living room, finding Aimee at the other end, panties in one hand and gloss-painted lips curled up in what he took to be a poor attempt at a seductive smile.

“Just waiting on you, baby.”

***

Somewhere along the way, he had become unsatisfied with Aimee. It was a state he had reached with literally every other girl like her, and the reason behind the change was the same as it had been with those that had come before her. It was the breaching of his personal boundaries, the blatant lack of regard for the rules he’d set down at the onset of their strange relationship. They always seemed to think they could change him.

It wasn’t that he harbored any form of direspect for women, because nothing could be further from the truth. He’d be the first to hold a door open for a woman or stand up for a female coworker against some mysogenstic manager who assumed her tits rendered her less intelligent than her male counterparts. He’d grown up with a plethora of friends that were girls, and never treated them as being different or inferior. He always took no simply as no, and never tried to manipulate or underrmine his way into hearing what he wanted to hear.

It was more, instead, that he refused to allow himself to get close to anyone. The conversations between his mother and himself were absolutely indicative of his progressive distancing from the family he was once so close to. High school friends he used to seek out on a weekly basis had finally stopped reaching out after months of having their phone calls ignored. Even his coworkers had taken the hint that any bonds formed would only be upheld while in the work place, and that extending an invite to attend a Christmas party or to go out to a club or bar would immediately be turned down. He lived a private, isolated life, and that was the way he intended for it to stay.

Aimee had never been a bad partner in bed. In fact, she had been one of the best he’d ever had. She was vocal, and flexible, and damn good with her mouth. Yet despite these factors, he’d had a Hell of a time blowing his load this evening. His anticipated distraction had instead become another burden on his plate, and when finally they were done and she was lying naked atop his sheets, her body too close for comfort and the smell of her clove cigarettes making him feel sick, he discovered he wanted nothing more than for her to get dressed and go home.

“So why did you wait two weeks to call me?”

“I’ve been busy.”

She chuckled, but the noise sounded forced, and as she rolled herself over to lay herself out across her stomach, her fingers grazed over his stomach and Inc jerked back as though he’d been burned.

“Liar. We work together. I know your job doesn’t keep you for long hours, and I know you don’t exactly have a busy social life.”

“I haven’t been in the mood for a romp in the sack.”

“You could have called me just to hang out, Inc. We could have taken in a movie or gone for dinner.”

Inc reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back to the other side of the bed. She didn’t resist the motion, and he could feel her eyes on his back as he rose and circled the bed, bending down to retrieve his boxers from the floor.

“Thanks for coming over, Aimee. I think you need to get dressed and head out now. I need to make dinner, and I want to do some house cleaning before I go to bed tonight. I’ll see you at work in the morning.”

He located his pants in the corner and shook out the wrinkles, pulling them on before retrieving his cigarettes from his dresser. Without bothering to locate his shirt he opened the door, making his way by memory through the living room and flipping the light switch on once he was in the kitchen. The smell of Aimee’s cloves had followed him from the bedroom and he reached for the can of coffee on the counter, popping the top open and inhaling the strong, bitter aroma of coffee grinds. The headache pounding at his temples drew back only slightly, but slightly was better than nothing, and he held his breath for as long as he could while he prepped the pot to brew a full carafe of coffee.

He’d expected that Aimee would put up more of a fight, but she didn’t. He heard the squeak of his bed as she rose, the shuffling of her feet aross the carpet as she retrieved her clothes, the jingle of her keys as she extracted them from her purse. He heard her pause in the hallway leading to the front door, and he could feel her gaze at his back, but when he didn’t turn to look at her, she padded her way around the corner, slipped her shoes on, and exited without a word of goodbye.