Silence envelops me
as I blink away my sleep.

Like a lover's embrace,
it brings with it comfort and a promise of peace.

My mind clears and my senses heighten
as I feel myself ease into reality.

Almost fully awake now, I try to catch
some remnant of my dream.

Perhaps it was of him.

Perhaps it was of us.

I give up with a long sigh.

Perhaps tomorrow.

Perhaps in another life.

Sounds of our laughter echo in my mind. Recalling carefree days of long ago.

“No regrets”, you said.

“None”, I agreed. But my heart skipped a beat. For you were the first guy I ever loved in the purest sense of the word. My world revolved around you. You were the sky, the moon and the stars. I would have given you everything who I was back then.

But you were also the first guy who broke my heart and taught me the painful consequences of hoping too much.

Caring too much.

Loving too much.

You ruined me, you know. I never loved anyone else the way I loved you.

“Yeah, no regrets”, I whispered. While wishing with all my heart that I never met you.

"I missed you", he said.

I caught my breath. A universe of emotion passed thru me. 

I waited for far too long to hear these words. I can almost hear my mind shouting at the top of its lungs - "He broke your heart remember? And not only that but he also made you feel you were not enough. You were in a really wonderful relationship and gave it all up for him and then  he left you !" 

To which my heart replied, "But it's him. HIM. The first boy you wanted to give everything to. You were both so young. It may not have worked out but you always had this special place for him here." 

I closed my eyes and instantly remembered how amazing it was with him. He was a very good friend before we decided to mess it up by being a couple. I remembered hating him but forgiving him almost in the same breath.

"I missed you, too", I finally admitted.

And I did. After everything, I realised my life was not as I hoped it would be because he was missing from it.