I lost myself to you, I knew who I was but I lost myself inside of you
I entered your depths and felt your soul, your pain and then I reflected it back and tried to help you
But you didn’t need my help, in fact you didn’t need me at all, you needed the love I gave and the openness and honesty.
But I lost myself, trying to drag you into me when you weren’t ready
I felt the greatest love of my life and my despair in thought the possibilities of not being able have you again tore me to pieces and I had already been toren to peices over and over because I’ve never been really loved until you came along
And then I tore myself to peices over you
And I’ve had to rebuild myself because I wasn’t really there anywhere, there were parts of me I was strong about, my honesty, my openness, my laughter, my warm ness, but I had lost who I was, I couldn’t give you love because I wasn’t love I didn’t have it. I was walking around like an egg shell waiting to be broken.
And you turned me into a diamond, facing all the facets of myself one by one, some where smudged some where blacked out. So I couldn’t shine
But you, your love showed me how to shine again. And you need me shining, I need me shining again. Like I have never done before
So I let go of you and I bath in your love and warm, your tenderness, your sincerity, your openness in your beauty and I allow you to do what you have to do
Knowing that the things I wish for
Will come to me when I’m strong when my star is shining so bright you will be blinded by me so much that you will absorb into my love without knowing it
Because you already shine so bright to me I’ve absorbed into you, I feel you
But I have to step back out because I shouldn’t have been in there anyway
Im here to stand next to you
And I’m going to be over here burning stronger for me for us.
In the now for you to know I’m here, right now for me, for you to join me
I let you go and you do what you do and I do what I do
I focus on me now so you have someone strong with strong love to come too
Because before I was a frayed knot all twisted with failure disbelief for everything and despair.
I shine bright for myself, for myself,
And I’m so grateful for you
Your love lit a spark inside me that burned down all the pain, all negativity so I could walk out of it alive knowing myself
I don’t ever need to absorb myself into someone ever again
I need to stand strong and present and be a tall post of all of who I am so that someone can grab on to me and hold me hold on to me, wrap there thread around my post and claim me to be there’s, to merge into me.
Always need to be in me and focusing on me
To be securely cemented in myself
Strong knowing and move from that place
Love from that place
Not from a over there loving the person and stretching myself over to them losing myself in them
How to love from a strong cemented place of yourself
Well I do it very well sexually so I need to do it as a friend
To stand tall -
I wasn’t in alignment with him
He needed someone strong and open to come from a place of true love as friends
The person I become when I give someone space but then slowly crumble back into the person that’s not strong