London, 1990

Dear Ellie, the most beautiful woman I ever meet my life. My heart is missing a piece and that piece is you. I've tried many times to forget your amazing smile, skin and hair. I've always wanted to know what it would be like to squeeze you and hold you in my arms. I would give anything just to feel that moment with you. I've realized now that you've made up your mind and I understand. Ellie, you will always be in heart. No matter what you do to me.

I couldn't read it any further. I couldn't get past the first sentence without getting angry or ready to wipe a tear. I stood outside on my beach house, taking in the hot sun and the smell of the salty ocean. Sea gulls were crying, the waves were crashing so softly against the white sand. There were very few people out so it made it perfect time be out in the water or building sandcastles or trying to get a sunburn. Today, I wasn't in the mood for any of those fun things. 

"Are you ready miss?" I looked back behind me and there stood out of the movers. He seemed to be sweating beats after helping move everything out of my house. I looked one last time before I left.

"Yes, yes I am ready."

London, 1959

"Ellie, you like him."

My mom is so full of excitement as she was doing my hair. I was currently getting ready for a special date, I mean I guess he's special or what not. She was currently trying to pin curlers in hair and trying to spray each and every one of them gently as she could. Her fingers were long enough to hold both in one hand, this woman is willing to sit here and give me the best hair ever.

"Mom, I don't even know the guy. How could I like him?"

"Oh sweetie, I see in your eyes. Your heart will have a special place for this young man, I guarantee it."

I sat in the chair and looked at my refection. What I saw was a blonde headed girl with tiny freckles on her face, her eyes were green and her skin was lightly tanned. I couldn't imagine ever being this beautiful girl but I am. I am that girl in the mirror but I never made myself believe it. I took my eyes briefly off myself and looked at mom. Mom was so naturally beautiful, her hair was golden brown, her eyes were blue as the deep sea, her skin was soft and beautiful. I'd say I wish I looked like her but I inherited my dad's genes instead. I'm guessing he was a blonde with green eyes and tanned skin. He must have been some handsome man. My mom would tell me stories of how I was born and how she would be the only person to take care of me while my dad was out but as I gotten older, my questions came ramping out of my mouth so my mom had to end up telling me the truth about him. He walked out on my when I was born and never returned but there were some moments she would keep secrets from me and made me wonder what really happened to him.

"Alright, almost done." My mom said snapping out of my daydream. "One more spray and you'll be looking beautiful in no time. Now go down stairs and eat little something and I'll be down in just a minute."

I got up out of the chair and headed into the kitchen. The smell of fresh cooked soup, vegetables and fresh bread. There were maids all around fixing tonight's supper for us but I wouldn't be here to enjoy it.

"Oh Ellie, I hope you are going like that with those curlers on top of your head."

Sarah one of our maids were chopping up some carrots. She was from America so it assumed me to hear her talk all the time without having a weird accent.

"Of course not. Mom is helping me get ready."

"Oh how nice! I sure your date will love what you look like. Are you wearing the dress I bought you?"

Yes, the dress. Mom thought I was going to wear one of her old dance dresses from back in the day when classy dresses and hates were popular back in the 1940's or 1950's. The dress was lime green, it had lace going all around, the color of the dress faded pretty quickly by the looks of it after wearing just one time and there was a huge hat that came along with it and oh dear it was something I never wanted wear out in public, no offense to my mom but the dress needed to be burned. Sarah gave me an idea to go buy some fabric from the sewing store and she would help me sew a dress together. I imagine my mom would have a fit but we actually talked in to it but ever since then she had been giving me hard time for turning down her lime green misery.

"Yes of course I'm wearing the dress..."

Sarah winked at me and smiled, "Okay just checking in with you."

After a while, I was finally ready for the dance. My dress was rose red, one of my favorite colors in the world. The dress was made of silk, very long but not too long for my legs and it sparked all around the bottom. The top was had sleeves which rested on my shoulders.

"Oh my goodness, you look so beautiful my beautiful child."

My mom was already crying and Sarah was crying too. They were acting like they were sending me off to get married to some rich man and leave the city of London for good. A red hot Chevy Bel air pulled up. It was one of the most beautiful cars I ever seen. A tall young man got out of the car, there he was. Christoper Young. One of the most popular guys in the school. I couldn't believe I was the one he asked out and not the other girls. I must seem pretty special enough to be picked out of million girls. As he walked up to my front porch, my heart was beating so hard against my rib chest. His appearance was breath taking... Brown shiny hair, amazing smile and the most well colored suits and a tie to match my dress.

"Are you ready my beautiful lady?" He reached out to grab my hand for me to grab. I hesitated at first but I gently placed my hand into his. Warm, rough but gently touch.

"Yes, yes I am ready."

One year later...

"Ellie, can I come in?"

My mom was knocking so loudly on my door trying to get my attention. I didn't want any company, nor did I want people to ask if I was okay or if I needed to ask for help. I sat motionless on the chair starting out the window of my room watching the trees gently touch the wind, birds chirping a beautiful song.

"Ellie, please let me in."

This time it was Sarah, one of the maids. I always loved to talk to Sarah about my problems but this time I didn't want to, not this time. The reason for my behavior? Christoper was deported to war almost a year ago. My heart completely broke when he told me about joining the army. It was like my world was fading pretty quick, the walls were closing in, no oxygen in my lungs. Christoper is my heart and soul, all the times we've been together meant everything to me and now I felt like I had nothing left for me. Just to sit in this chair, not showing any emotion.

After a while I got tired and decided to head to bed, I longer heard my mom or Sarah knock on my door any time of the night. I laid there with my eyes wide open, trying to comprehend why I have my heart to somebody who gave me theirs.

Sunday came and it was time for church. It couldn't just stay in my room all day and miss out without my mom. She always loved me coming with her to church to greet her friends and sing beautiful gospel songs. I sat down during some of the songs, I barely was interested in singing but I enjoyed listening to my mom singing right next to me. I signed deeply and found myself catching an eye of a black young man, I could see the back of his head but he would never turn around. His appearance stood out, I wondered who he was. I never seen him around before.

After church, I spotted the young man in the crowd of people while my mom and I were talking to our church friends about going to lunch in a couple of days. His face appeared older, he was wearing a regular suit but a white bow tie wearing a top hat. His smile was gorgeous to stare at.

"That's Mr. Jones," one of my mom's friends whispered in my ears. "He just arrived here last night from a long journey traveling around the world."

"Whereabouts?"

"Oh I'm not sure but he is a photographer, like one of the most amazing ones I've ever seen."

I was truly amazed by his profile. Like the perfect gentleman. "Go talk to him." she pushed me forward. I felt nervous at first but I actually made my way over to him. I forgotten I am apart of a very rich family and I was wearing one of my really expensive dresses Sarah made me for me months ago for church. He seemed to notice my appearance and took off his hat.

"My, oh my. Such a lovely beautiful woman. I'm Mr. Jones but you can call me Charles my lady."

"It's very nice to meet you Charles. So I hear you've just arrived here?"

"Oh yes my dear, I was out on a long journey. Exploring the world and making new discovery's and meeting new comers. It's very interesting. I've been wanting to do this ever since my own father traveled the world."

I couldn't help but feel comfortable listening to his stories. The only person I ever felt comfortable around was family and Christoper. That name snapped me out of my daze quick. What was I thinking talking and flirting with this young man? I was practically throwing myself into a conversation with Charles and not worrying about the outcome. He was in the middle of telling me his adventure in America and I held up my hand quickly.

"Excuse me, I have to go."

He seemed pretty stunned at first, he was probably wondering what was going on but I didn't want to tell him.

"But wait! Before you go, what's your name?"

I was halfway down out of the church and I turned back to him and smiled.

"Ellie."

Then I turned around and headed out of the church with my mom and few other friends of hers. As soon as I got outside, the bitter cold hit my skin. I should've borrowed a coat from Sarah before I left. My mom said goodbye to her friends and we headed back home down the sidewalk. The church wasn't that very far away from home, which was good so any time I needed to go pray, it was right around the corner.

"Who was that young man you were speaking with?" My mom asked. "You seem to brighten up a lot. First time I ever seen you smile in a while."

Was I that unpredictable? How could I act so flirty around the young man, I must have looked like an idiot to everybody in the church. They knew Christoper, they met Christoper. How could I do this to him? I knew my mom was waiting for answer so I tried to come up with something that didn't sound like I liked the man.

"Oh it's nothing... I was just having an easy conversation."

"Oh honey, you don't have to hide the likeness. It's okay to like somebody new."

I stopped walked and stared at her like she just shot in the chest with a bullet.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Oh honey, not like that. Don't think to ahead of yourself. He seemed friendly."

I seem to relax and little and continued to walk with her. The streets were as crowded during the week but when the weekends comes, most of the time the streets are less uncomfortable. A few classic cars drove by, young boys and girls were playing on the sidewalk wearing little dresses or small tuxedo's. I couldn't help but wonder if Christoper and I would have children one day. Just to sit and watch them play around the house while I stood in the kitchen washing dishes or cooking dinner while Christoper was outside with them teaching him all he knew. My heart wished he was here with me. I missed him so much. Before he left, he gave me a small pink envelope with my name written in the middle.

"Only if you miss me with all of your heart." He kissed my forehead. "More of them will come soon my love."

Every time I missed him, I never felt the need to open the letter. It always sat in the desk drawer all alone waiting for me to at least acknowledge it's presences.

My mom and I finally made it home. I made my way up the stairs to my room and headed for the desk drawer then I suddenly hesitated, I pulled my hand back away from opening the drawer. My heart ached for Christoper but it wasn't enough to open the letter. Why was I feeling like this? Why can I just go ahead and open the damn letter? I walked away from the desk and decided to get out of this dress and put on one of my normal dresses. I took down my hair out of my bun and it let fall to the side of my neck. All the saddest I felt wasn't completely taking over me. I made my way down back the stairs into the kitchen. The maids were fixing little light finger food snacks. Carrots, small cherry tomatoes, small sandwiches and some cheese. I couldn't help but stare and wait for them to be set on the table, I could start digging into it.

"Excuse me, Ellie? This came for you."

I turned around to see on of the maids holding a small letter in hand. I noticed it had the same small handwriting as the other letter and the same pink envelope. Christoper had finally sent me his second letter and I wasn't willing to open it in front of the maids but I thanked her and took the letter from her. I placed it on the counter next to me as I ate the finger foods. I wasn't in the right place to be reading anything from Christoper nor was I willing to miss him anymore. All I could think about was Charles. Kind, gentle and very well dressed young man but I couldn't help but wonder if I was blinded sided by love to much.

The second letter sat right on top of the first letter then it came to the third and fourth letter. I never felt the need to open any of those letter from him. All that I could feel was anger and hatred. How could he think letters would fix everything in this relationship? So far is has been a year and 6 months since he departed from London. I replayed that moment in the my head of when he kissed my forehead but no flutter in my stomach just the feeling of depression. I think it was time to get myself together and try to become friends with Charles. It seemed to make me feel happy. I felt bad for leaving him like that but I was nervous to be out and public and people were watching me.

I got dressed in my normal sun dress. Just a simple white, mixed with pink. My hair was loose and curly at around my neck. I'd say this is the first time I ever dressed up myself for a guy in a long time.

I went into town to find Charles. I asked around where the young man was but most of the crowd didn't seem to know him or saw but never said where he was going. I thanked them and searched around some more. After long 30 minutes, I decided it was good time to head to the cafe to buy some fresh lemonade. It may have been chilly outside but I wanted something cold and sweet. I walked inside of the cafe and stopped short... Charles was here. He was sitting alone at the table reading a few pages of the newspaper. Maybe it wouldn't notice me but I wanted him to for some reason but he was into reading. I couldn't help but stare at him and admire the way he reads the newspaper. My heart was fluttering around this man... Why? Was it to hot? Did I just feel uneasy for some reason? I was thinking of many excuses until I got up to the counter and ordered a fresh lemonade.

"Ellie."

I turned around and Charles saw me. He had one of the beautiful smiles I ever seen, Christoper might have pretty smile but Charles had a priceless smile that I could stare at all day.

"Hi Charles. How are you?"

"I'm doing pretty well for myself. Just catching up on reading the news... So what brings you here?"

"Lemonade." I lied. I couldn't tell him I was looking for him. I would have been embarrassed if he knew. 

"Yes, the lemonade." He continued to read some more of his newspaper. I couldn't help but stand there like fool wondering if he was going to carry on the conversation but the way I treated him in church was so unfair and I couldn't believe I did that to him. 

"I'm apologize for the way I acted in church. We've could've had a longer conversation if I didn't escape so fast." 

"Oh Ellie." He put down the newspaper and told me to sit and continued. "Don't worry yourself! You seemed like you were in a hurry. There's no need to apologize."

"Are you sure?"

He placed both of his hands on to my hand. My heart jumped 10 feet in the air and my stomach automatically feel flutters. The heat coming from him was making me more comfortable in ways it shouldn't have. 

"Yes, Ellie you are a beautiful young lady and a lady like you doesn't need to apologize to a young black man like me." Then he let go of my hand. No matter how much I wanted to stay there, I couldn't think like this. 

"Well I better get going." He stood up from his seat. "I got to meet a couple of friends and head out into town for a couple of drinks. I will let you later Ellie." 

He kissed the top of my hand and headed out the door before I could say anything else to stop him from going. I sat there in the chair just hoping he might come back but the more I thought, the more I felt sad that he was gone.

I walked back home and found my mom water couple of flowers on the porch. She grew millions of precious beautiful flowers every year and I couldn't help but smile. It was her favorite thing to do everyday in the daytime. 

"Oh hey sweetie. Where did you run off to?"

I wasn't planning on telling her I met up with Charles again or telling the fact the real rest I was out was to find him. I had to keep my face blank and normal as possible. My mom was always good at picking out little things that you're hiding.

"I went off to get some lemonade at the cafe." 

"Oh really? That's nice. I was hoping you weren't running off somewhere crazy."

"No of course not mom." 

If only she knew what I was up to and she was definitely be on my case and asking me tons of questions as to why I am stalking this guy. I went back inside to find Sarah searching though tons drawers in the office. I noticed she was freaking out a little bit so I walked over to the opened door to peek. 

"Sarah is everything okay?" 

She looked up and smiled. "Yes everything is fine. Just losing my mind searching for my journal. I've written tons of old recipes but it's not that important." 

I walked away and went into the kitchen to find a letter sitting on the counter. It probably was from Christoper but by the looks at of it, the letter was plain white and my name was written so messy in the middle. I turned it over to see if there was anything else written on it but no, nothing was written on it. I decided to go up stairs to my room and open the letter. I didn't want anybody looking over my shoulder so this was the best way to get way from everyone. 

I slowly ripped it open and pulled out a piece of thin paper. I unfolded it slowly to make sure I didn't rip it and began to read. 

Dearest Ellie, our last meeting was cut short and I apologize if I sounded rude. I didn't want to leave you sitting alone in the cafe. To tell you the truth, I was bit a nervous with you being around me so I lied about seeing my friends... Truly I apologize. I want to see you again, I want really get to know you more. Please response in the next few days. Just come and find me if you can. I'll be waiting for you. 

-Charles.  

My heart skipped a beat. 

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