I am a lesbian and very proud of whom I am but if you don’t like Gay people then I suggest you go read something else, however; I would like you to read on regardless of your fear of the unknown.

Just because I am gay I shouldn’t be judged in anyway; On the contrary; I should be rewarded with a medal with what I’ve been through.

The judgement and criticism from fucked up ignorant people nearly broke me but I rose above all their shit and I feel sorry for those who are not as strong as I.

Let’s face it, there is no denying Gay people are everywhere but just because our sexual preference is same sex; we are classed as either dirty or disgusting, or sickos for that matter. How many people out there of whom you know or even love suspect they are Gay but they can’t come out due to being ridiculed?

How many of them have committed or contemplated suicide because they felt the world and those close to them wouldn’t or couldn’t accept them? This is so very sad. Not one should be made to feel this way because of someone’s fucked up insecurities and beliefs.

As far as I was concerned, I wanted to love someone just like everyone else, regardless whether it was the same sex. It’s what was in my heart and I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me, even though some tried. Iheld my head high and I walked tall, it was my wall and I did what I wanted, behind it!

To begin with this book will take you back through my personal struggles I had as a child which was being molested three times by three different men and the violence I witnessed and then experienced first-hand as I got older. This certainly played a big part in my life and caused chaos in every relationship I had in the past thirty years. If you thrive on craziness, laughter, frustration, sadness, love and betrayal then this is the book for you. I did however shed many tears writing this book but I also laughed at my own stupidity.

I hope you enjoy my story and God bless.

This book is a frank and honest account of one woman’s foray in and out of love and her determination to get to the truth, no matter what.

You will laugh at the author’s antics, you may shed a tear, and you may think she’s crazy, stupid or both! Either way, you can’t fail to notice how gutsy she is to do the things she does in this book…as gutsy as she is to tell you about them. There’s a little bit of Shelley in all of us I think.

I didn’t want the book to end.

I began writing this book seventeen years ago, after the collapse of a fourteen year relationship with a woman I loved dearly. The exercise has been a heartfelt and painful process, which often resulted in the need to stop writing. It was only four years ago, I realised I needed to complete this book in order to have closure on the past, both for what I’d experienced as well as how I had treated others. As you will no doubt discover, there’s been a lot of dysfunction in my life. I put a lot of this down to three traumatic childhood experiences at the hands of people who were close to both me and my family at the time.

I have not disclosed this information publicly prior to this or my relationship to those involved as it would have destroy many people’s lives. I have always been disturbed by others’ judgements of me and this would have hindered me in that I always felt I could never live life the way I wanted to. Over time and with increased life experience, I have come to trust myself and my own thoughts and feelings. This book has been cathartic in assisting me to reach this point.

Being in and out of relationships, my only question was, would I ever find someone who would truly love me? For those who are new to love or still seeking the answer to love, perhaps you can restate the question as this: What can I do/who can I be to truly love myself enough? These events all took place up to 2009 and it got worse after that. My next book Did I break a mirror (through my eyes) will cover the next nine years up until now.

I hope you find my story and my misadventures, entertaining! Sit back, grab a cuppa and enjoy!