this is just a bit of a rant, don't mind me. 

today my parents thought that i was at risk for committing suicide. i don't plan on it, but i read on some websites today that joking about suicide, which i do almost daily, is a way to cope with your suicidal thoughts. i haven't been feeling suicidal directly, and other than getting grounded today, i think things have been going pretty good for me. here's some bad news, though. i took 7 quizzes online today from professional medical websites - and every single one diagnosed me with moderate to mild depression. they said that my lack of an appetite, intense self-judgement and "hopelessness" were that of a person with depression. it wasn't an official diagnosis, but i'm feeling like i may want to go see a therapist or doctor, so i'll talk to mom and dad about that. on another note, i want to get into a nice hobby. i've been considering gardening and scrapbooking, or maybe even making bracelets. although i won't have much stuff to put in the scrapbook, considering i have to stop talking to my ultimate best friend. i just need something to do that will help me make less bad decisions, like mom says. well, that's all for now. bye!!!