Le Croí sans Douleur

 

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-1-

I’ve never been to Maine. Hell, I’ve never been east of the California state line. And yet, here I am, getting on a plane headed out east for a conference. Fairly new to the company, I was asked to fly out so that some of our major customers could put a face to the name they’ve been coming to for the last six months. I never thought in a million years I’d have moved up in the company as far and as fast as I did. I’m barely 30 and I feel like I’m still a 19 year old kid playing dress up in mom’s business clothes.

I scoot over to the window seat and start fidgeting with the magazines, seatbelt, cell phone, and my heart necklace I wear just about everywhere. First flight, first conference, first time out of state, and I’m trying to calm myself down.

Just when I’d twisted the chain around my finger for about the twelfth time a man’s voice catches my attention.

“You know, you’re going to break that beautiful necklace if you keep playing with it.”

When I look up, I lock eyes with him. Mr. Mid 30s business professional with a half cocked smile. I politely smile back and let the necklace fall back against my shirt. He takes his seat behind me and I start fidgeting again, all of the sudden very aware that someone had been watching me.

I close my eyes as the plane slowly fills to about half capacity. Most of us have the whole row to ourselves. I’m not so lucky. A mom and her toddler get closer and closer to my row, where they stop and the tiny girl squeals in dismay that someone was already in the window seat. With a foot stomp and a few tears, mom talks her down into the middle seat and gets her buckled in. The child is still whimpering at this point.

Fabulous.

I’m tugging on my chain, far past the fidgeting point. The scenery out the window hasn’t changed but I’m staring like it will at any minute. I’m again caught off guard by the same voice from earlier, so close to my right ear it’s as if he’s seated beside me.

“You know, you’re more than welcome to take my window seat and I can move to the aisle, if you’d like.”

“Thank you, but I’m not sure how this all works. Don’t we need to stay where we are put?”

“Absolutely not. If my row doesn’t get filled, and I don’t think it will, please feel free to join me.”

I consider my options. Dirty looks from a three year old for three hours, or possibly pleasant conversation that will help pass the time and hopefully distract me. This is a no brainer.

I quickly maneuver around my now former row mates, as Mr. Half Cocked Smile stands and holds his hand out as if to welcome me into his house. I give another polite smile, a thank you, and I go back to tugging and staring out the window.

As the flight crew does their spiel about the safety information, I’m overly interested in how to buckle my seatbelt, and just where does that oh-2 mask come from in the event of any kind of emergency?

“Fly much?

“No, I… This is my first time. Is it that obvious?” For some reason saying that is extremely embarrassing to me. I feel like a baby professional, while this guy obviously knows what he’s doing.

“Ah, there’s nothing to it sweetheart you’ll be fine.” I flash my polite smile back at him again. “I’m Patrick.” He extends his hand to me.

“Caitlin. Nice to meet you, Patrick.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Caitlin. Business or pleasure?”

“Business. I’m headed to a product convention… conference type thing. ” I catch myself twirling my necklace again and let it fall.

“Well I’m sure you will have a wonderful time. I’m headed back home. I love the California sun but the East Coast is calling me.”

“Thank you. The company I work for insisted that I do this. Our customers seem very anxious to get me one on one. Put a face with the name, so to speak. “

“And what a beautiful face to match the name, if I could be so bold as to say that.”

Now I’m the one flashing a polite smile, but it’s matched with a completely flushed face.

“Aw, I didn’t mean to make you blush,” his hand once again touches mine as he continues, “It’s not every day that you offer a beautiful woman the seat next to you and she accepts. Forgive me.”

“Thank you, Patrick, and yes, you’re forgiven.” My smile is turning from polite to embarrassed in a hurry.

“Well now I wish I would have approached you at the gate. We could have gotten a drink and formally introduced ourselves in the terminal.”

“I... I’m flattered. I’m afraid I’m kind of a mess now that I’m actually strapped into this thing.”

As the plane continues to taxi out to the runway, my nerves start to get the better of me. I feel my hands starting to shake as a disembodied voice comes on and says we are next in line for takeoff. I don’t know why I am so nervous all of the sudden, people fly every day. I’m told it’s the safest mode of travel.

The plane turns out towards the runway and starts to pick up speed. I close my eyes and try to repeat over and over to myself that it will be ok. I hear shuffling around next to me and Patrick takes my hand. He brushes the hair off the side of my face and tucks it carefully behind my ear.

“You…are going to be just fine. Take a deep breath, focus on my voice.”

I take one deep breath and then several more. As we leave the ground I can’t help but lose my composure and tears slide down my face. As if I wasn’t embarrassed enough before, now I look like a total moron, incapable of flying without holding someone’s hand.

“Caitlin, it’s going to be fine, just keep listening to my voice. The climb will be over soon and then we’ll be soaring high above the clouds and everything will be fine. It is all going to be just fine. I’m right here.”

He reaches up to my face and wipes away the tears I’m trying so hard to stop from coming. He continues to talk to me in a voice barely louder than a whisper and I realize that my heart is beating nearly out of my chest. I lean my head down a bit and try to shake this feeling off. I need to pull it together.

I look up and immediately realize just how close Patrick and I are sitting. He still has his hand on mine, and our eyes lock as I look up. Flushing again, I pull away and start to laugh nervously.

“I’m really sorry, I am usually more composed than this. I’ve always been afraid of heights and ladders and staircases that go past the third floor. It sounds really childish but I try to avoid elevators and escalators if at all possible.”

He laughs and his hand takes its place back on mine once again as he sits back in his seat. I feel strangely comfortable with this even though I’d never have the nerve to be this forward in a million years.

“You’re like my guardian angel, you know. I think I would have probably passed out back there if it weren’t for you.” I flash him a warm smile, which is instantly returned.

He turns towards me and puts both of his hands on mine. “Anytime. That’s a very nice compliment that you’ve given me Caitlin, and I’m glad to be at your service. Whatever you need, just let me know.”

“I need you to call me Cait, actually. Only my mom and my ex call me Caitlin. I hate it.” I realize that I casually dropped a hint that I was single, and try to fight off the flush I can feel coming.

“Cait it is then. I can handle that.”

I turn to smile at him again, and find it taking longer and longer for me to look away each time our eyes meet. I know instantly that this flight is not going to be long enough. I know that there is a good possibility that he’s going to get off this plane and I will never see him again. I didn’t want to get on the plane, and now I’m dreading getting off.

The conversation between us meanders around my work, his house in Portland, my house in Ridgecrest, and his love of flying. I carefully skate around talking about my ex-husband, as it is a long painful story that I am not ready to disclose to a total stranger, no matter how disarming he may be.

He buys me a couple glasses of white wine, telling me that it will help calm me down for the landing. I can’t help but hope that he is right, and I won’t have another major melt down. The three year old in my old seat is handling this ten times better than I am. As our conversation finds another comfortable lull, I start playing with my necklace again.

“So what is the story with that?” He leans in to get a closer look at the stone encrusted lattice heart necklace that I have had since my 18th birthday.

“Oh this? It was a present from my parents on my 18th birthday. It’s engraved with an Irish-French saying on the back. It’s a family thing, my mom, her mother, her grandmother…it was in each of their wedding vows. Family tradition I suppose.”

“May I?” He asks with an extended hand. Not wanting to take it off I lean forward and his fingertips graze my skin as he delicately picks up the chain and leads his hand down to the pendant.

“It says Le Croí sans Douleur.” I say as I shrug. “I still feel weird every time I say it. I’m not really sure why. I guess it doesn’t mean anything to me yet.” He looks at me and flashes his now famous half-cocked smile.

“It still doesn’t mean anything to me.” He laughs and carefully lets the necklace fall back against my blouse. “It is a beautiful necklace, Cait. It is very reminiscent of a Richard Joyce piece I had seen once before. I very much like this.”

“I must be living under a rock with my work schedule. Is he a new designer?” I feel like that 19 year old playing dress up again. Surely a professional business woman with a high profile job would know who the new hot designers are.

“No, no, no,” he shakes his head. “Richard Joyce is one of the goldsmiths that are credited with making the first claddagh rings, sometime back in the 1700’s. That design is such an iconic piece of Irish history.”

“Well I suppose I’ve learned something today. You’re handsome friendly and smart. What more could a girl want from her guardian angel?” I know the wine is kicking in, but I don’t care. I’ve decided that I want to see him again. I don’t know if it is possible, and I don’t know his entire story, but I know that I will be crushed if I never see him again. This time it is me that takes his hand.

“I’m going to be forward. So consider that your fair warning. I would be extremely delighted if you would let me take you to dinner to thank you for being so wonderful to me on this flight. I may end up extremely crushed if you say no, so just keep that in mind.”

I can’t believe I just said that. I try not to lose eye contact with him, and he nods his head.

“I think that I can rearrange my schedule. I am slightly disappointed though. I was about to ask you if I could at least give you a ride to your hotel, and then try to talk you into going to dinner with me. But you beat me to it. The offer for the ride still stands, if you don’t already have transportation figured out.”

The inner me is doing back flips and cartwheels while the outer me is smiling like a Beiber fangirl. I was going to take a shuttle from the airport to the hotel, but I’d much rather get a few more minutes in with Patrick.

“I would love a ride to the hotel, if it isn’t out of your way, and it is also your pick for dinner. I’m at the Hilton Waterfront, if that means anything to you.”

“Well it does, so how about this: I will take you to your hotel, and I will wait for you to be ready. Take as long as you need. I know exactly where we are going for your first dinner in Maine.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” I wanted to say the d word. I wanted to call it a date, but I didn’t think I should. My thoughts were interrupted by the same disembodied voice telling me that we were getting ready to land in Portland, Local time 4:12 pm. I felt like a time traveler going into the future. A very nervous, scared, and fidgety time traveler.

Patrick moves around in his chair and lifts his arm rest to move even closer to me. He carefully puts his arm around me and hugs me close to him. I’m positive he can feel my heart racing, and then all of the sudden I am calm. He looks at me and smiles.

“Cait, I’ve got you. You’re going to be fine.”

He leans over and kisses me on the forehead and I melt into his arms.

 

 

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-2-

 As we land I’m hesitant to move from his side. I feel like leaving the plane will break the magic bubble that I am stuck in. Eventually I sit upright and start smoothing out my clothes to leave the plane. Patrick gets up and gets both my carryon and his, and stops the aisle traffic so that I can enter the aisle.

As we exit, we are met by the overly pasted on smiles of the flight crew, and I can’t help but wonder what they are thinking. Do they know that this handsome stranger carrying my bags is someone I only met a few hours ago? Do they see how flushed my face has been for the last several hours on the flight? I can’t help but shyly smile back and avert my eyes as a step on east coast ground for the first time.

Patrick expertly guides me to the baggage claim to get my suitcase and his, and I then follow his lead towards the exit. Everything seems to be going in slow motion as people rush around us. As we walk, I continue to steal glances at him, and know that he is doing the same to me. I can barely remember why I am even on this side of the country, and I seem to have lost all interest in remembering.

As we reach the doors to exit the airport, I keep walking and I realize that Patrick has stopped to talk to someone in a pressed black suit about 50 feet back. I stop and continue to fidget with my necklace while trying not to seem too curious as to what has held up my new friend.

I see him motion for me to come closer, so I put on my best customer facing smile and prepare to be introduced to who I can only assume is a coworker or other business minded person.

“Cait, this is Conor, my driver. He’ll see to your bags from here.”

His Driver?

“Oh, Conor, thank you! It is very nice to meet you.” I instantly wonder if Conor is actually employed by Patrick, or if he was hired by a service.

“The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Cait.” Conor has a very thick Irish accent that I wasn’t expecting.

He takes my bags, Patrick takes my arm, and we walk out towards the pickup area. The drastic temperature change gives me a perfect excuse to walk a little closer, and hold on to him a little tighter.

“I hope you like it here. Maine is one of the most beautiful places I have ever lived. The people are amazing, everyone is friendly, and you will never see a sunrise like you will right here.” He smiles at me and we stop in front of a sleek black Audi. Conor immediately opens the door and motions for me to get in.

What have I gotten myself into? I feel slightly embarrassed remembering my old blue Jeep that is parked in long term back home, but immediately decide that I just won’t mention it.

Patrick slips into the backseat beside me and tells Conor to head for the Hilton Waterfront.

“This is a beautiful car, Patrick. And I can’t thank you enough for giving me a ride to the hotel. It’s very sweet of you.”

“Again, the pleasure is all mine. I’m glad that you like the car, I’m quite fond of it myself.”

His hand once again finds mine, a feeling that I am trying desperately hard to lock away in my memory banks. There is something about him that is so warm and comforting. I feel like nothing could ever happen to me as long as his hand is touching mine. It has been more than a year since I split with my ex, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the butterflies alive and well, dancing around inside of me.

We zip along the highway for what seems like milliseconds, and before I know it Conor is pulling up in front of my hotel. Before I can go to put my hand on the door, it is opened for me and Conor offers his hand to help me out.

As I take in the sights of downtown Portland, I notice a frown on Patrick’s face. I am suddenly overcome with fear. Fear that he may have realized he has something better to do than cart me around all night. He looks at me and realizes that I can sense something is wrong. Before I know it, he is at my side.

“Cait, please tell me you’re staying here because you have to? I know of several much nicer places that I would be happy to recommend.”

I am not sure how to respond. Any other time I’ve been in a hotel it has been a much lower end stay than the Hilton. I was fairly excited to be here, but I didn’t want to let him know that.

“Oh, I… uh… Yeah, I have to stay here, but I’m sure it isn’t that bad. They’re hosting the conference so it made sense for me to stay here as well.”

Patrick shakes his head in disgust.

“Well, if you must be here, then I will let you stay.” He gives me that smile and offers his arm for us to walk into the building. Grabbing the handle of my luggage from Conor, he tells him to keep the car waiting as long as necessary until I’m ready to go out for the evening.

He stops just short of the front desk as I go to check in.

“Please call me when you are ready.” He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, take your time.”

He turns to walk away and leaves my head spinning in the middle of the lobby. I’m pulled towards him. I want to go with him right now, but I am in need of a shower and clothes that I haven’t flown in.

I look down at his card and it is fairly simple:

Patrick A. Connelly

123.456.7890

It also displays a company name, Connelly Holdings Corp. Now it makes sense. He’s a very affluent business owner. Of course he’s used to nice things and money. I’ve spent the last year getting back on my feet from all of the things that have happened, and it feels damn good to be pampered and driven around.

I find myself opening the door to my second floor room and being ok with the state of things. This may not be nice enough for Mr. Half-Cocked Smile, but it was way better than I am used to. I flop down on the bed, fighting to keep my eyes open. I know what is going to happen if I close them for more than a quick second so I pry myself off the bed, peel off my clothes and head for the shower.

My mind is going over a thousand different scenarios of what could happen later tonight. Where are we going to eat? What in the world should I wear? Will I be too much of a giddy schoolgirl to hold up actual conversation?

My thoughts are interrupted by the phone ringing in my room. Quickly jumping out of the shower and throwing a towel around myself, I answer.

“Hello?”

“Hello Ms. Mellette, this is Jackie with the front desk. We have a delivery for you, may we send it up?”

I search my brain and remember that I had brochures for tomorrow printed and delivered to the hotel.

“Go ahead and sent it up, thank you!”

I quickly rummage through my luggage and pull on jeans and my hunter green hoodie. I answer the knock at my door and am face to face with Patrick.

“Oh hell!” I nearly slam the door in his perfect face, considering I’m not wearing any makeup, my hair is a mess, and I’m definitely not dressed for dinner. “I will just be a few more minutes, sorry! I just got out of the shower and they told me there was a delivery for me so I just thought-“ I shut up. He is laughing at my frazzled rambling and I realize that he has also changed into jeans, a grey t-shirt and a black windbreaker.

“I wanted to call you and tell you to wear whatever you were most comfortable in, but I decided last minute that I should bring you this as well.” He pulls his hand from behind his back and produces a small vase with a bouquet of fall flowers. “I figured if you are bound to stay here, then I would at least try to brighten the place up for you.”

I thank him and put them on the table near my bed for the week.

“I should only be a few more minutes, I’m really sorry to keep you waiting like this.”

He laughs. “I think you look even more beautiful now than when I first saw you, but whatever will make you more comfortable. I’ll be downstairs.”

A wink and a smile and he’s gone. I quickly apply some eyeliner and mascara and blow dry my hair for all of 20 seconds and I’m back out the door and on my way downstairs. Patrick expertly slides his arm around my waist as I greet him in the lobby and we leave the hotel and slide into the back of his Audi one more time.

“I don’t feel like I’ve dressed up enough to be in this car!” I burst out laughing, releasing all of my nervous energy. Its 7:15, I’ve known Patrick for a half a day, and here I am completely disregarding everything I have to do for work so I can go on a date with someone I won’t ever see in a week. It has been months since I’ve been on a date with anyone, mostly because I’m afraid that my past issues with men and my work schedule will scare them off, but this is different. This is someone taking me out and showing me a wonderful time, and treating me like someone should be treated on a date.

“You are dressed just fine for the occasion. I do hope you like seafood.”

“Maine Lobster was the only reason I was looking forward to begin here this week. I can’t wait to try it!”

“That was the only thing you were excited about?”

Queue the blushing.

“I’m more excited to spend time with you, now that I’ve met you. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, but now you know.”

He smiles lightly and gazes out the other window in the back of the Audi. The highway turns into a more residential area, and I can see a lighthouse beacon swinging out and back in from the sea off in the distance.

“Where exactly are we headed?” I ask. I’m curious because there doesn’t seem to be much land left for the direction that we are heading.

“I debated picking a fancy classy place downtown that would fawn all over you, but I changed my mind, I thought you may appreciate something a little more low key.”

We pull down a narrow road and let out at the edge of the ocean. Parking in a fairly crowded lot, we get out of the Audi and he takes my hand.

“I’m sure you have had fresh seafood, but nothing compares to this, especially coming from here.”

This was definitely not the place I expected based on everything that had happened today. The place was called “The Lobster Shack” and had a walk up window and seats outside. I couldn’t help but giggle.

“You know, I could afford a restaurant with real tables to take you out for your thank you dinner. I mean, I can even afford real silverware and plates too, but this will definitely do.”

“Once you taste this lobster, you’ll forget everything about the tables and the silverware. Besides, we’re not eating here anyway. I have a little surprise for you, unless you’d rather take your chances on that…”

He points to a picnic table crowded with kids munching on hot dogs and burgers, while a second and third just as crowded table full of adults is enjoying lobster and clams.

“I suppose I can let you surprise me again. But please don’t make a habit out of it. I’m only here for a week you know.”

“Then I will need to make it a habit for the next few days.” He wrinkles his nose at me and we walk up to the counter to order.

A young girl, probably early 20’s, cheerfully greets us. Patrick asks me if he can order for the both of us, and being the out of towner, I let him.

As he is making small talk about our order I turn and gaze out over the twilight lit ocean and just take in the sound of the waves. People always assume that living in California means that you live on the beach. Unfortunately I haven’t even been near the ocean in the last 4 years.

I start thinking about my ex and everything that happened with us last year. The police being called, the court battle for the house, the trips to the hospital trying to explain away scars and bruises, the restraining order and eventually watching him being hauled off in a police car. In the last year I have done everything possible to try and forget his existence, but I know that he isn’t staying locked up for long.

“Miss, anything else for you?”

I snap back to reality and try to shake off my daze of bad memories.

“No, I’m sure he’s taken care of what we need. Thank you. How much?”

She giggles at me. “Oh no, the order is for Mr. Connelly. It’s on the house.”

I glare at Patrick in mock anger, to which he shrugs his shoulders and ushers me back to the car. He’s carrying four bags full of who knows what, and he’s half dancing around like an idiot the whole way back.

“What’s gotten into you?” I ask when we reach the car. Conor is out and ready to open my door when Patrick bounces over to me and takes me into a ballroom pose.

“I feel like dancing. You make me feel like dancing.” He spins me around a few times and I give my best bow as we part ways to get in the car.

How does he have this effect on me and I haven’t even known him a day. There is some kind of connection going on that I can’t even explain, and I don’t want to waste my time trying.

As we drive along to our destination we make further small talk about my job and how I got into my field. I ask him casually why he is single. He tells me that he’s been waiting for the right girl. His face turns serious for a moment.

“It is hard to force a connection with someone you know isn’t the right person for you. But when you find someone that you connect with, someone that just fits with you, that feels right, and that you can’t imagine living a day without… That’s the person I’m waiting for.”

Where do I sign?

He goes back to bouncing along to whatever is on the radio and we start to approach a building at the end of the road we’re on. I haven’t been paying attention but I start to realize we are pulling up to a house. I look at him and he is beaming from ear to ear.

“I told you I had one more surprise.”

I can’t feel my legs. This house is at least six times bigger than anything I’ve seen in my tiny neighborhood. It is amazingly beautiful with an immaculately kept lawn. Conor gets my door again, and helps me out.

“Please tell me this is some sort of museum or something. You can’t live here.” My mouth hangs open in disbelief.

“Oh this is mine. And so is what is around back. Come on, let’s eat.”

As he slips his arm around my waist one more time he has to steer me around a winding brick path around to the back of the house where there is a simple table set for two with a few candles strewn around on the table and on the patio itself. As my eye follows the yard out it suddenly lands on the ocean. I then realize that his property is completely surrounded on three sides by water.

“This is quite possibly my dream house.” I say. “I absolutely love this.”

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-3-

After two hours of white wine, clams, lobster, a spectacular view and amazing conversation, I realize that I have to come back to reality soon. I know I have to give presentation after presentation tomorrow and I still have prep work to do at the hotel.

“Patrick, this... this has been one of the best nights of my life. I don't want it to be over.”

He laughs and reaches for my hand over the table. “I'm glad you had a great time. I'm afraid I know what you're going to say next though.”

“I know, and I wish I didn't have to go, but I have to finish getting prepared for tomorrow and I'm afraid that if I don't go now, I won't ever go.”

“Well that wouldn't be so bad, but I understand.”

He calls for Conor and asks him to get the Audi ready. Conor asks something in a language I can't identify, and Patrick answers him in the same fashion.

“Sorry, Ms. Cait” Conor smiles and hurries off.

“What was that all about?” I ask Patrick as I reluctantly stand.

“Conor simply asked why you weren't staying longer. I explained that you do have work to do and unfortunately you have to go.”

“I'm flattered! However I don't know how highly anyone would think of me if I did stay...longer.” We linger for what seems like an hour hanging on my last words. The silence isn't uncomfortable, but more electrifying. I hear the Audi pull up around the front of the house.

“I suppose it is time for us to get you back to the hotel.”

He offers his arm and we walk to the Audi and once again take our places in the back. As we leave the driveway, he moves his hand from my side to the top of the back seat, and I take the invitation to slide closer to him. I place my head on his chest and continue to do everything in my power to lock all of these memories in my mind. The smell of his cologne is extremely intoxicating and it is everything I can do not to be lady like and climb into his lap. I look up at him and smile and he hugs me closer. Before I'm ready to let go, I realize that we are pulling up to my hotel. Conor opens the door and we both exit onto the sidewalk.

“Patrick, again, I can't thank you enough. This whole e day has been surreal and amazing.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Those eyes. That smile.

“I will let you know how everything goes. My schedule is extremely full until about 8:30 or so.”

“Of course,” he smiles and hugs me. “I can always meet you after, if you aren't completely exhausted.”

“I may have to knock back a couple energy drinks , but that sounds like a plan. I suppose I should head upstairs though. Thank you again for a wonderful evening.”

“The pleasure is entirely mine.”

I pull myself away and force my feet to walk away from him. As I approach the door I glance back at him, and he blows me a kiss. That's it, I am living in a fairy tale.

I check the front desk and find that my brochures have arrived and I take them up to my room. Flopping down on the bed again, I replay the day in my mind. I feel like I'm going to wake up and be on my bed back in California and find out this was all a dream. It can't be a dream. It just can't be.

I scurry around my room, checking my email and laying things out for my presentations. Before I realize it, it is after 1 am. I curse out loud, because I had wanted to send Patrick a text message or call him much earlier to once again thank him for everything today. I can't help but wonder why in the world dinner was 'on the house' for him, but I decide that I will just ask him when I see him tomorrow. I finally lie down, set my alarm, and fall asleep.

~

What seems like five minutes later, my alarm goes off and I kick into high gear. I have to put all thoughts of Patrick and yesterday on hold as I head downstairs into the whirlwind of the conference. I meet plenty of our clients and sail through my presentations before finally taking a break for lunch. I text Patrick over my break, and tell him that I have a dinner with all of our clients but it should be wrapped by 8:30 at the latest.

Heading back to the conference my phone buzzes and I receive a smiley face followed by 'See you then, beautiful' message. Just enough to get me through the end of this and wrap it up. I don't even want to think that I have to do the same thing for the next two days. I want to scrap the rest of this thing and spend time with Patrick before I have to fly back to reality.

The last portion of the conference wraps up for the day and I go up to my room to change and refresh before the client dinner. Luckily it is in the hotel so I won't have to go far. I pick my red pencil skirt and black blouse with my black velvet heels, and go a little heavier on my eye makeup. I run my curling iron through my hair and pin it up and sail back downstairs to greet our clients for dinner.

It is all small talk and chit chat and dinner feels like it is taking two days to get over with. The closer we get to dessert, the longer it is taking. Finally, we get through dessert, and exit into the lounge of the hotel. One of my clients hands me a drink and asks me about my first experience in Maine. Without saying too much, I just say that it has been amazing and that I had a very warm welcome.

As I continue to mingle with clients, I feel my phone buzz in my purse and I see that I’ve received a picture message of a large bouquet of roses. A smile plasters itself on my face and I turn as bright red as the color of the roses and my skirt. Someone in our party notices something out in the lobby of the hotel and slowly heads start turning towards the entrance to the lounge. I have to turn too, and I see the picture of roses, just sent to me, in full living color, carried by Mr. Half-Cocked Smile himself. The crimson color deepens on my face and I politely excuse myself from the cocktail hour. I think about taking the clip out of my hair, but at the last minute decide to keep it in.

“Well you certainly know how to make an entrance!” I stop in front of him and he hands me the flowers. “Looks like I will have to get another vase.”

“I wanted to continue to surprise you. I know how much you enjoy that.” He kisses me gently on the cheek and asks if I'm ready to go.

“I will need to run these back to my room and get my coat, you can come up with me or wait down here if you'd like.”

“If it’s not too forward, I suppose I will escort you to your room.” I quickly go back into the lounge and formally excuse myself for the evening. He lets me lead back to my room and as I fumble with the key I realize that I have to restrain myself and be in and out of that room as fast as possible. Everyone is still downstairs in the lounge and I can't afford to have anyone think I'm doing things I shouldn't be doing while I'm here.

I put the flowers down on my nightstand and grab my coat all in the same movement while Patrick stands by the door and waits for me.

“I think that'll do it for now, I'm ready!”

“One more thing...” He walks to me slowly and slowly takes the clip out of my hair, letting it tumble around my shoulders. I'm suddenly aware of how close he is. “Much better. I think I'm in love with your hair.”

I'm breathless. His fingers linger in my hair for a few seconds, and before I know it, his lips find mine and a bolt of lightning surges through my body. His other hand slides around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I quickly drop my coat and press against him, returning his kiss while melting into a puddle on the floor. Eventually he lets me come up for air, and gives me his smile.

“I'm sorry, Cait, I had to do that. I wanted to do that the minute I saw you in the airport. And again each time in the car, and then tonight when I saw you in the lounge. I didn't think it would have been appropriate there, so I was desperately hoping to get you alone as soon as possible.”

“You... I... You flatter me. Constantly. That was simply amazing.”

“Well, if you're ready, then we should get going. Wouldn't want people to talk.” He winks at me and we make our way downstairs. I wave to the remaining clients and I see the Audi waiting, along with Conor.

“Evening Ms. Cait” he nods to me and opens my door. A girl can get used to this.

“Hello Conor, how are you tonight?”

“Perfectly well, ma'am, thank you for asking.”

We take off along the highway again, and I don't bother to ask where we are going. I have a more important question for my new companion.

“So, the burning question of the evening... how come 'any order is on the house for Mr. Connelly'?” I give him my best quizzical flirty look.

“I figured I would have to explain that one eventually. I do a lot for the community in Cape Elizabeth. It’s such a close knit family of people and I do what I can to make sure that events that we have are properly funded.”

I laugh. “So you throw money at them and they love you for it?”

“I guess it kind of boils down to that, doesn't it?” He returns a smile.

I shift in my seat and prepare for another burning question; “So then what were you doing out in California?”

“Ah, I... I was finalizing a recent acquisition. I don't really have anything else on that one. Not yet, at least.”

“Well ok then, I won't pry.” I give him a warm smile, and grab his hand this time. “I'm excited for tonight!”

He smiles as me and I can feel my phone buzz in my purse. And then again, and then again. I do my best to ignore it but it keeps buzzing at me.

“I'm sorry, it seems someone really needs to get a hold of me.” I give an embarrassed smile and reach in my purse to get my phone as it buzzes yet again. Four missed calls from my neighbor Kathy, who knows to only call me in an emergency situation. “Excuse me for a second I need to take this call.”

I turn towards the window in the car as Conor pulls over. He and Patrick exit the car and stand outside while I try to call Kathy back.

“Oh my GOD Cait answer your phone when I call!” Kathy doesn't sound like her usual perky self.

“Kathy, what's wrong? I'm sorry I was a little distracted. What's going on?”

“Cait, the police have been here looking for you. They tried your house and when you didn't answer the door they came over here.”

“The police? Christ, what is going on? I didn't to anything illegal... well that I know of... Did they tell you what was wrong?”

“Cait... I...”

“OUT WITH IT!”

“Michael is out. He was here too looking for you. I called the police.”

I drop my phone on the floor and start shaking uncontrollably. He can't get me here. He can't get me here. He. Can't. Get. Me. Here. I need to pull this together. Kathy is yelling at me from the floor and I fumble to get the phone back into my hands.

“Cait, I'm sorry. Are you there? Cait? You should probably come home and sort this out.”

“Kathy I can't come home. Did you tell him where I was? Did you tell him anything?”

“I only told the cops where you were. I didn't even tell Michael anything but to get the hell off my porch through the door. Cait I didn't open the door for him.”

I breathe a half of a sigh of relief. “Kathy, thank you. Did the police leave any sort of contact information? Can you email it to me? I don't really have a pen handy.”

Kathy agrees to send me an email and pleads with me one more time to come home. I tell her once more that I need to stay gone, at least until I figure out what is going on, and at least until the end of the conference. I hang up the phone and realize that not only are my hands shaking, but my entire body is shaking. I am not strong enough to continue to deal with this situation. He was supposed to be locked up for another 2 years, and now he's out. If he finds me, I'm going to be a dead woman. I know it. He told me if I ever turned him in, he'd kill me. Then he would say he loved me and make me sleep with him so that I would “know how much he cared for me.” I can't do this. I'm just not strong enough anymore. I break down in the back of the Audi, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Patrick and Conor.

“Cait! Is everything ok?” Patrick swings open the door and takes me into his arms. “What in the world is wrong, what can I do?”


In between sobs, I manage to tell him “My ex. He is looking for me. He's dangerous.”


Patrick barks something to Conor and helps me back to the car. We immediately pull back onto the highway and Conor turns around and heads back towards the hotel.


“Oh no, please, we don't need to go back to the hotel. I really can pull myself together.”


Patrick, who has not let me out of his arms, shakes his head. “We're not going there, we're going back to my house.”


I lay my head back on his chest as we speed into the darkness.

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