Louis Eugene Carter, III sat at this desk, going through invoice after invoice after invoice. He punched in numbers on the calculator with his pencil eraser, praying that the numbers would come out differently. So far, everything was the same. Which wasn't a good thing. He sighed heavily. Frustration moved in as he removed the hair clip that was keeping his up-do, up and rested his head on the back of his chair. The long brown hair fell around his shoulders and he began to twirl the ends on the left side, which he often did in contemplation.

“The money just isn’t there, Ruby. What are we going to do?” he asked of his financial adviser. Ruby took off her eyeglasses, crossed her legs and rested her head on the back of the chair she was sitting in.

“Lou, I told you I’ve looked at these numbers until I couldn’t see anymore. Barring a miracle we’ll just have to put the new addition on hold for a year or so and fundraise like crazy.”

“Ugh, we’ve been fundraising like crazy. And we really cannot wait another year; we’re so over crowded now and these kids need us. They really need us.”

“You are preaching to the choir baby.” Ruby replied. “I don’t know where else we can fundraise here in the city. There are so many charities here; we’re tapping out people who are probably already tapped out. By the way things are looking at the state house, I don’t think we’re getting that grant either. They’re cutting back on so much I just know we’d hardly get anything.”

“We really need it. But even if they gave us the whole amount we asked for, we’d still be…,” Lou picked up the calculations from his desk. “...half a million dollars short of the minimum it would cost us to build the new building. And that doesn’t include outfitting it and running it.” Lou sighed again. Ruby looked at her watch and began to gather her things.

“We’ll it’s after six and I need to pick up Larry. His car is still in the shop. The numbers aren’t gonna change so we have to do something else.”

“I know.”

“Nothing is going to change over the weekend anyway. So get your things and go home to Brian. Knowing him, dinner is probably already done and waiting on the table for you. Have a glass of wine and relax. Gear up to fight again on Monday.”

“Yes ma’am. Good night Ms. Ruby.”

“Good night Lou.”

***

     As Lou unlocked the door to his condo, he discovered Ms. Ruby was right; dinner was ready and smelled heavenly. Once he closed and locked the door behind him, he leaned against it, closing his eyes feeling the wear and tear of the week.

“Hey honey, I’m home.” he called out. Eyes closed, Lou slipped his heels off his aching feet.

“Ah, there’s my working wonder.” Lou opened his eyes to see his handsome boyfriend Brian enter the room, cleaning his hands on the towel that had just been resting on his shoulder. “How are you?” Brian asked as he kissed Lou’s forehead.

“I’m so glad today is Friday. This has been the week from hell.” Brian took Lou’s coat from him and hung it up in the closet. “How was your day?”

“Apparently a lot better than yours. Dinner will be ready in thirty. How about a glass of wine to decompress?”

“Sounds good to me.” Lou returned Brian’s kiss.

     Lou first dropped his bag off in his home office then headed for the bedroom. He placed his heels back into the shoe rack, grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to change into. Before washing his makeup off, he pulled his hair into a ponytail. He heard Brian come in to leave the glass of wine on the nightstand. Lou changed his clothes and sat on the bed for a few minutes. He leaned against the pretty but very masculine throw pillows Brian insisted they buy. He had gone to sleep on the very same bed the night before, but it didn’t seem like it. Being the co-director of a group home for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender teens who were estranged from their parents brought on plenty of sleepless nights.

     The faces and stories of these helpless, hopeless hurting teens is what fueled Lou’s passion. These are the children that were being thrown out of their homes for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or having transgender feelings. Lou had a plan. He waited until he was eighteen and had graduated high school before he discussed anything with his parents. His father was the pastor of the church and there was no way that he would allow a gay son to live in his house. Lou had secured a roof over his head but it wasn’t home. He had the brains to win multiple scholarships for college but he still ended up working during school and three jobs every summer to make ends meet.

     Many of the teen residents didn’t have the strength to wait like Lou did. Hoping to have an open and honest dialogue with their parents often resulted in these teens becoming runaways or being thrown out. Some arrived with just the clothes on their backs and a book bag for school. Each story was basically the same. The conversations started with good intentions and often ended in hurt feelings, miscommunication and flaring tempers. Providing these teens with a place to live, meals and clothes was the least he could do. The point was to get the teens and their families talking with each other again and ultimately back together as a family.

     After dinner, the couple sat on the couch with the television providing light background noise. All of their favorite Friday night shows were reruns, which was strange because the new fall season hadn’t started that long ago. Brian was massaging Lou’s feet. Lou loved wearing his heels but some days it was murder to wear them when he was constantly walking and not in his office much.

“Better?” Brian asked.

“Hmmm, much better. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Lou took a sip from his wine glass.

“I had an interesting thought that crossed my mind today, when I had a free moment.”

“Those are rare for you.”

“Yeah so you know this thought was supposed to be there.”

“What was it about?” Brian asked as he took another sip from his wine glass.

“I think, we should host Thanksgiving dinner this year.” Brian’s eyebrows rose in surprise and question.

“Us?”

“Yes us. What? You don’t think we can do it?” He shrugged his response.

“It’s not that…”

“Then what is it?” Lou asked. “You know we know how to throw a party; we do it all the time. This is no different.”

“True.” Brian paused then asked, “So what prompted this?” Lou sighed.

“Well, your sister does it every year and she does an excellent job, don’t get me wrong. But she also plans Christmas dinner, she has her home business, her husband and four children now that Lorenzo is here. I just think it’s a lot for her, especially this year.” Lou paused and looked longingly away.

“And?” Lou didn’t answer. “Lou?”

“That’s it.” Brian gently grabbed Lou’s hand and held it.

“Talk to me baby; what’s on your mind?” Lou sighed again, pulling his ponytail holder from his hair and letting it fall.

“It’s just that…the more I try and help these kids put their families back together the more I realize how much of a wreck my own family is. I see my two sisters but my brothers and I don’t speak; they barely recognize me as their brother. And my parents…my God we haven’t talked in years! How can I tell these hurting teens that everything will be okay, that they can find a new sense of normalcy when I don’t have it myself?” Lou fought back the tears that were welling up in his eyes but a few made their way down his cheeks. “I call them but all I get is voicemail after voicemail. My cards come back ‘return to sender’. People who used to talk with me don’t, out of respect for my dad. I miss them so much Brian. So much! I miss just being able to talk to them about anything and everything. I miss fishing with my dad and Sunday football games.” Lou was sobbing. Brian did the only thing he could do and pulled Lou closer to him in a comforting hug.

“I know baby. I know.” After a few minutes, Lou was able to speak.

“I try so hard not to get jealous of what you share with your family. Your parents love you so much! And your stepparents accepted you too. It’s as if your sexual preference didn’t even faze them. And your siblings…it’s like all of you on both sides grew closer than ever.”

“It took some time for everyone to accept it but in the end they realized it was better to have me as I was than not to have me at all.” Lou laid his head on Brian’s shoulder and sniffed as his tears slowed.

“I wish my parents saw it that way. I’m family; I love them and I pray for them all the time. And they don’t even talk to me. Sometimes I wonder if they even think about me. I’m still their son, you know?” Brian grabbed a tissue from the side table and wiped Lou’s tears.

“I know. Many people feel that way. I thank God everyday for that blessing.” Brian replied.

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing, inviting them to dinner?”

“I think you have to start somewhere. Maybe they’ll see that you’re trying to mend things and at least agree to meet you halfway. Even if nothing gets resolved right away, you started the process.”

“It’s kinda scary now that I think about it all.”

“If it’s scary to you and you’re in your thirties, imagine how those teenagers are feeling?”

“Yeah. ‘A healing to help the healing.’ I heard my grandfather say that once. I was so little when I heard it, I’m sure I didn’t have a clue what it meant. But now…now I’m beginning to understand it.” Brian looked over at the space behind their couch. Their condo wasn’t huge but they had room.

“Sooo, how many people are we talking for this shindig? You know our table only seats eight.”

“Well, Bianca usually has about thirty people over, so…thirty?” Brian looked over this shoulder again.

“Thirty? I don’t know how were going to seat thirty people. Or where.”

“I guess we’ll have to go shopping.”

“Shopping huh?” Lou nodded.

“Yep, shopping.”

     Saturday morning found the couple heading out to the furniture store. They thought they would try the one they bought most of their furniture from first. Their salesperson, Clark, who had helped them five years ago, was still there.

“I remember you two. Welcome back, how can I help you this morning?”

“We are looking for a large dining room set.” Lou stated.

“Okay, how many people?” Clark asked.

“It’s for Thanksgiving dinner and we’re probably going to have up to thirty people over for dinner.” Brian said.

“Oh, wow. Uh…I don’t think we have anything that big in the store. Let me show you what we do have and if we have to we can custom make a piece for you.” The couple nodded and followed Clark to the dining room section. The largest table they saw sat about twelve people and that was with the leaf insert. Clark grabbed the catalog, showing Brian and Lou what the company could customize for them. The price wasn’t bad for a custom-made table. They added in the price for chairs, which would not be custom made, and the price got uncomfortable. They thanked Clark for his assistance but they would have to look elsewhere.

     They had been to three other stores before they saw another table that they liked. This table actually sat fifteen people. All they had to do was buy two tables. The good news was that the chairs were even included with this one. The bad news was that the chairs were a bad fit for their tastes and it couldn’t be changed out. The chairs were made too low with a high table; but that was the design and they didn’t like it. So it was off to another store.

“I like this one. And it matches what we already have.” Brian said.

“I like it too.” Lou was walking on the other side of the table, checking things out.

“I don’t see the price tag. Is it on your side?” Lou looked, found it and winced.

“Yeah, thirty-five hundred.”

“What?! Thirty-five hundred and we need two so that’s seven thousand. And the chairs?”

“It says not included but I don’t see a tag over here. Maybe on your side.” Brian looked then sighed a weary sigh. “Now I’m afraid to ask how much.”

“One twenty-five a chair.”

“Oh help us Jesus! We cannot afford this one. And it’s such a beautiful table too.” Lou pouted. walked over to Brian and took his hand. He placed his head on Brian’s shoulder in weariness. “We’ve been shopping all morning. It feels like we’re never going to find this table.”

“Maybe we need a little break. Let’s get some lunch then regroup.”

“Lunch sounds good.”

     They grabbed lunch from their favorite deli and since it was such a nice day, Lou suggested they eat at the nearby park. Brian agreed. As they sat, they could see parents and children enjoying the playground area. Laughing and giggling filled the afternoon air.

“One day that will be us.” Brian commented.

“Oh I hope so. I can’t even remember the last time I played on the swings.” They laughed.

“I was king of the jungle gym. My mom used to hate it when I hung upside down from the parallel bars though. She was so scared that I would fall and hurt my head.”

“Did you?”

“Nah, I told you I was the king of the jungle gym. Kings never fall.” The pair continued talking and eating, enjoying the day. Brian looked over at his partner. “You know this is exactly what we need.”

“I know; we don’t relax as much we should.”

“No, not that. I mean, yeah we should relax more but that’s not what I’m talking about. This table, this is exactly what we need.” Lou gave him a confused look.

“A picnic table?”

“Yeah! Look at it. This table probably can seat what, eight people? What if we were to make a couple of picnic tables? We could make them to our specifications. All we basically need is a couple of saw horses and a board on top.” Lou gave Brian the are-you-crazy look. “I mean, it’ll be more that just saw horses and a board but you get it. We can make it higher than this, wider longer- whatever size we want.”

“And the benches? How will that work when everybody gets the 'itis' and gets sleepy? You know your Uncle Simon will be the first one to fall over.” Brian looked at the table and scratched his head.

“Maybe we can do benches on one side and everybody who sits on that side sits with their backs to the wall and chairs on the other?” He thought again. “Or maybe…maybe we make half benches or quarter benches? Like…uh…park benches! Yeah, park benches baby. That’s it! That way the chairs will have the bench feel, with cushions of course, and a back. So nobody falls from the 'itis'.”

“You sure this will work?”

“Well, I’m not so sure about the benches, but the table? Yeah, that will work. Maybe we can find some decently priced chairs.” Just then, Lou got an idea.

“Oh, I need to call Andréa. She purchased some items for us from this hotel sale. It was like a garage sale for hotel furniture. I don’t remember when or what hotel had the sale but if they’re remodeling, maybe we could get some nice chairs from the banquet facilities.”

“There ya go. All I need to do is find some building specs and head to Home Depot or Lowes. I’m encouraged; this Thanksgiving dinner will be great.”

***

    After church that Sunday, Brian and Lou headed home to change clothes and grab a snack before heading out to shop for supplies. Brian had printed off some specs from a website that allowed him to make calculations of what he wanted and it gave him exactly what he needed to buy. Both men were very excited because buying items to make tables made it more than an idea. They were happy to find a salesperson who actually built furniture in his spare time. The man looked at Brian’s papers. He nodded, as he looked them over, making some calculations out to the side.

“I’ve never used this site before. Do these calculations make sense?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. These are actually right on the money.”

“Good.” Lou commented. “So you can show us exactly what we need?”

“Yes ma’am.” he replied. “Follow me.” Lou looked at Brian and smiled. It always made him smile when people called him “ma’am”. That meant he did an excellent job with his makeup.

     The salesperson talked with the couple, getting the exact items they would need in order to build their tables from the wood to the nails to the stain of their choice. He even offered his services in the form of lessons if they needed it. Lou was rather surprised at the number of items they needed. It was quite a bit for just two picnic tables. After paying, they packed everything in the bed of Brian’s truck and headed toward his brother’s house.

“You sure Bernie won’t mind us storing all this in his garage?” Lou asked.

“Of course not. I called and told him I needed to store some stuff in his work garage. Besides, that’s what he built it for, woodworking projects.”

“And how many has he done since he built it?”

“None I know of.” They laughed at that. As they drove up the long driveway, Bernie saw them and met them at the garage.

“Man, what is all this?” Bernie asked his younger brother.

“We’re making tables so we can host Thanksgiving dinner.” Brian replied.

“Thanksgiving dinner? Does Bianca know you’re doing that?”

“Not yet.” Lou said. “We thought we’d give her a break this year.”

“And you’re inviting everybody?”

“As many as we can.” Lou said.

“That’s why we’re making two tables. Our table only seats eight.” Brian said. Bernie scratched his head as he looked at the items in the truck bed.

“I don’t know what I was thinking when you said you needed to store some stuff. What kind of tables are you making again?”

“Picnic tables. They’ll be a little larger than the ones you see in the park and taller.” Brian said.

“And what are we going to sit on?”

“We’re hoping to find some chairs at a hotel sale.” Lou said. Bernie looked at the couple and shook his head in disbelief at the task they set before themselves.

“Okay, let’s get this unloaded. I assume you guys know what you’re doing.”

“Yeah we’ve got instructions and the salesperson at Lowe’s said he could help us if we needed it.” Lou replied.

“Besides,” Brian said, “I was thinking this would be good for you. Sheila could get you out of the house for a little bit and you could actually make something in this garage.” Brian said laughing at his brother.

“Oh, you got jokes huh?” Then the three started their task of unloading the truck.

     Later at home, while his casserole was cooking in the oven, Lou sat at the kitchen table with his laptop. He was playing around with templates, clip art and fonts trying to design a pleasant invitation. Brian sat next to him with his cup of coffee.

“What do you think about this design babe?” The invite had the familiar fall colors of brown, orange, red, gold and yellow. There was a turkey standing next to a table full of food and trees with falling leaves in the background.

“Is that turkey dancing?”

“Yes he is. I didn’t know if you’d get that. He’s doing a little turkey trot because it’s Thanksgiving Day.”

“Does he think dancing will keep him from being roasted?” They laughed.

“No, silly. He’s just dancing.”

“I think it looks good. What about the inside?”

“I was thinking, that we’d put the menu inside.”

“Speaking of menu, have we decided what we want to serve?”

“Not yet, but no better time like the present.” Lou saved with file he was working on then brought up a website he had bookmarked earlier. It was a Thanksgiving Dinner prep site. “I’m not sure where I heard about this website, but it’s supposed to help you plan. Is there anything in particular that you want to eat?” Brian sipped his coffee and thought.

“Well, we have to have turkey. Problem is a turkey only has two legs and every man in my family wants a leg.”

“I guess we can cook a pan of turkey legs and wings. Maybe the turkey breast separate.” Lou typed that into the memo had had started. “I gotta have dressing. And ham. On the other hand, maybe we should do a pork loin. What do you think?” Brian grabbed the legal pad that was sitting on the table, ripped off a sheet then handed the pad to Lou.

“I tell ya what…why don’t we each make a list of what we want and then narrow it down from there.”

“Fair enough.” Lou replied. After about thirty minutes, the couple had their menu. It sounded like a delicious one. Moreover, it was one they felt capable of preparing.

     Over the next few weeks, Lou and Brian spent their extra time investing in their tables. Bernie wasn’t sure they knew what they were doing so he went out to check on them frequently. He definitely questioned Lou’s ability when he showed up with a pink tool belt on. However, Lou quickly explained that he had assisted his father on many occasions mending things in the church and in the homes of the church members. The tools were real; the pink was just him expressing himself. The tables were beginning to look how they had envisioned them and then they were ready to stain. Brain was shocked at the final products. Their tables made with love looked much better than anything they’d seen in the furniture stores and definitely better than what could have been custom ordered for them.

“We did good babe.” Brian said as they stood arm in arm admiring their work.

“Yes we did.” Lou replied smiling. “These tables are beyond beautiful and awesome.”

     Lou had finally gotten in touch with Andrea and found out about the hotel furniture sales. Mr. Yakuri, their building supervisor helped them bring the chairs into their condo; all forty of them. Bernie helped them bring up the tables. During this time, they also tested out their chosen menu. No point of springing a new dish on people without trying it first. Everything came out to their liking except the strawberry pound cake. It was a dessert Lou’s great-grandmother made. He figured it was an easy enough recipe to duplicate but no matter how he tried, it just didn’t taste like it should have. Nana Lou wasn’t in his life for long before she died, but he’d had the cake enough times to remember it. If his parents were coming, he wanted his dad to have a taste of his childhood. Louis Jr. often talked about how his grandmother made that cake on special occasions. She called it the “Peace Cake”, not just because it was eaten at family gatherings. She called it that because it was what she served when she had to be a mediator between disputing parties.

     A week until Thanksgiving and they had received RSVPs for every invite sent, except Lou’s parents. No word from them yet. Lou’s siblings, even his bothers who didn’t talk to him, all accepted. The next couple of nights were hard for Lou to sleep through. He really wanted things to go smoothly. More importantly, he wanted to reunite with his parents. He and his brothers had already started talking more since the invitations had gone out. Lou remained prayerful about the situation.

     Lou was sitting at one of the card tables with some of the children as they colored Thanksgiving themed pages and cutting out turkeys, they made by tracing their hands. Brian smiled at him from the kitchen. He just knew Lou would make a great dad when the time came. His sister Bianca had come into the kitchen, holding his new nephew Lorenzo.

“Well, it actually looks like you two really went all out. The food looks real.” she teased.

“Of course it’s real. We do know how to cook Bianca. Right Lorenzo?” he said as he took the baby out of his mother’s arms. “Tell your mommy ‘Uncle Brian knows exactly what he’s doing’.” The baby laughed and cooed. “See even he knows what’s going on.” Just then, the doorbell rang again. Lorenzo went back to his mother and Brian headed for the door. He never expected to see who was on the other side.

“Is this Condo 3F?” a woman asked. He was stunned and speechless for a second then he found his voice.

“Ummm, 3F yes, this is 3F. Reverend and Mrs. Carter I’m surprised to see you.”

“And you are?” Rev. Carter asked.

“I’m Brian Maxwell.” he said as he presented his hand to shake. “Welcome and Happy Thanksgiving sir. Please come in.” Brian stepped back and allowed them room to come in. Lou wanting to make sure he greeted all the guests, came to the door.

“Who’s here baby?” and stopped in his tracks when he saw his parents. “Mama?” The smile on her face was broader than the Grand Canyon.

“Hey Gene baby. Happy Thanksgiving.” Joann opened her arms to hug her son. Lou immediately went into them and hugged her.

“Mama, I’m so happy to see you! When I didn’t hear from you, I thought…well I just thought you weren’t coming.”

“It was a last minute decision. But we’re here. I’m glad I’m here.” Louis Jr. cleared his throat. Lou had finished hugging his mother and looked at his father.

“Hi daddy. I’m so glad you’re here.” He just stood there, as if he wanted to hug his dad but wasn’t sure if he should. It was an awkward one but he gave his father a hug anyway.

“Well, your mother and I felt that we should since everyone else would be here.”

“Please, let me take your coats.” Brian said. As Lou helped them out of their coats, he told them who Brian was.

“This is my boyfriend Brian Maxwell, my parents Joann and Louis Carter Jr.”

“We’ve met.” Joann said. “Nice to know Gene has met someone.”

“Again, welcome to our home.” As he hung up their coats, Lou hooked his arms inside his parents'.

“Come on; let me introduce you to everyone else.”

     After everyone started to mingle, Lou and Brian met up in the kitchen to make sure everything was warming up properly.

“I can’t believe my parents are actually here.” he said as he placed the squash casserole in the oven. “I’m shocked. I’ve never seen God answer a prayer like this.”

“I know. It can only get better from this point.” Brian gave him a kiss for encouragement. When Lou walked out of the kitchen, he saw his father in the hallway, admiring the pictures on the wall. He was in his pastoral pose, as Lou liked to call it. Louis Jr. stood tall, hands clasped behind his back as he walked along the wall.

“Hey daddy. Dinner is warming up. Can I get you something to drink while we wait? We have some wine, lemonade, sweet tea, coffee.”

“I’ll take a glass of sweet tea please.”

“One sweet tea coming up.” A few moments later, Lou returned with their drinks. He had a glass of wine to steady his nerves. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” In a condo full of people and children, the silence between them was deafening, but both of them knew it would be.

“We can go in my office here and talk a little.” He followed his dad in. The first noticeable things were the pictures and letters that adorned the walls. Louis sat in a chair and looked around at the walls.

“Interesting décor son.”

“Oh these are thank you notes and letters from the kids and their families that we helped put back together.”

“Broken homes?”

“You could say that.” Louis looked over his left shoulder and saw Lou’s degrees hanging on the wall.

“And these?”

“My undergrad Sociology Degree. This is my double Masters in Social Work and Public Administration and that is my Non-Profit Certificate.”

“Great education accomplishments. And what do you do with them?”

“I run a group home for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender teens who runaway from home or their parents have thrown them out after discovering their sexual preferences.” Louis nodded. “It’s called Hearts of Hope. Maybe you’ve see our building on Thomas Lane. We own the whole city block.”

“I’ve seen it. It’s an unfinished property isn’t it?” Lou took a sip of his wine.

“At the moment, yes. Our big fundraising goal last year was to buy solar panels for our buildings to keep the electricity costs down. We have several houses that handle the overflow of kids when the dormitory is full. We’re a bit over capacity right now. Our big goal this year is to raise enough to build another dorm and attach it to the current building. We have a long way to go though.” Louis looked around at the walls; he saw building plans, fundraising ideas, goal totals.

“Why? Why this job in particular?”

“It’s important; these kids have no place to go. When they come to us, they feel no one cares about them. We do care. And partly because of us, our relationship. I waited until I was eighteen before I told you and mama how I felt. However, these kids aren’t built like me; most of them can’t wait. Most of the parents are hurt and upset. Some of them don’t even want to look at their kids, much less have them back in the house. I actually changed my major my sophomore year because I met a guy who had tried to commit suicide. He was gay and being bullied. He had no friends, no family, no one to talk to except me. So we became friends. We stayed up one Friday night while everyone else was out partying and planned out a place for displaced gay teens to go. You met him earlier; Kenny is my co-director.”

“All these years later and he still has no family?”

“Nope, they still don’t talk. That’s why today was so important to me. It is getting harder and harder to get the kids to understand that their families can be put back together when I don’t have a good example to show them. I know what we do works; you can see the evidence in the thank you notes. But more than showing them, I need my family back for me. I miss all of you. I miss you and mama most.”

“It’s complicated son.”

“I know and we’ve never talked about it. That probably made things worse. Is it so bad that I’m gay? Is it because I like to dress like a woman?” Lou could feel the tears sting the back of his eyes and the lump in his throat develop as he asked the questions. “No matter who I love daddy, I’m still your son.”

“Are you? You are my first son. The. first. one. That’s why you’re the third; you’re supposed to carry on the legacy. I mean I watched you grow up fishing, playing sports, being a boy. I raised you to be a man. I raised you to be a man of God. Do you have any idea how it felt to find out when you turned eighteen that you didn’t want any of that?”

“Daddy, I’m still a man. I am the man you raised me to be! I still have all the equipment I came into this world with. I haven’t cut anything off and I don’t intend to. I enjoy being a man, I just feel more comfortable in women’s clothes. I like my long hair, I wear nail polish. I look all woman, but believe me I’m still a man.” Lou reached for his purse to pull out his driver’s license. “When I sign anything, I sign it Louis Eugene Carter III because that’s my name. I haven’t changed it. I love my name; it reminds me of my heritage.” His father looked at it. “I know that name is important or else I wouldn’t have it; I’d be named something else.”

“Son, I just…”

“I haven’t left God and He hasn’t left me. Daddy, I’ve been at this job long enough to know what the fathers of these teens say and feel, but I don’t know how you feel. You’ve never told me.” Louis sighed deeply, bracing himself for the memory.

“Honestly? It felt like a kick to my gut. It knocked the wind out of me son! It felt like I had failed you as a father. I felt like I failed you as a man. I didn’t teach you enough, I didn’t show you enough of how to be a man. I was sick to my stomach.”

“Daddy how could you think that? Everything I learned about being a man I learned from you. You were my example. You taught me how to pray and depend on God. You taught me how to fix things, which came in handy because that was a job that helped put me through school. You taught me how to serve humanity and do God’s will. And that's what I’m doing daddy. I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be. I just happen to be in love with man.” Lou couldn’t hold his tears any longer and they slowly made their way down his face.

“I showed you how to love and treat a woman by the way I treated your mother. It feels like those lessons were for nothing because you didn’t fall in love with a woman.”

“Loving a woman that way isn’t for me. I learned how to love by watching you and mama. I’ve met some awesome women in my life daddy, but I couldn’t see myself in love with any of them. I treat them with the utmost respect because I learned that from you. I love them and their place in my life.” Louis shook his head in disbelief even though he was trying to understand. “You and mama both taught me how to look for the best qualities in people, to bring the best into my life. I’ve done that. Brian is a good man daddy. A really good man. He has a law degree but he prefers to teach law than practice it. He’s smart, intelligent, caring, loving and such a gentleman. If I have to find a kid in the middle of the night, he goes with me. He refuses to let me drive in some of these places at night. He loves me as I am. That is more than anybody could ever ask for. Brian doesn’t mind that I dress like a woman; he knows I’m comfortable that way. He doesn’t just go to church with me daddy. Brian is a Christian; Jesus is his Savior and he doesn’t play around with it. I can’t really put into words how he makes me feel. He’s good to me and good for me. More than any woman ever could try to be.”

     Louis looked into the eyes of his son. They were the same innocent eyes he saw over thirty years ago when Lou was born. They were the same determined eyes he saw when a twelve year old Gene told the church that he was going to set up a booth to gather items for needy families in the community around their church. They were the same eyes that at age eighteen, asked for understanding when he shared the truth about his life. They were the same eyes, just now with a little eye shadow above them and mascara below. Louis sighed deeply and let his own tears begin to flow.

“It’s amazing what the Lord will show you when you’re ready to see it. All these years, I thought I had done something wrong in raising you, that I had somehow failed God and you. I felt betrayed when you told us you were gay and I couldn’t forgive you for doing that to us. Making us feel like that, making me feel like that. I just couldn’t. I think your mother got over it a long time ago after she saw you still had a relationship with your sisters. She didn’t want you to totally lose your family connection. Back then I didn’t care.” Louis took his son’s hands in his. “Do you know I haven’t been able to preach a sermon on forgiveness since you left? I can preach on any subject, except that. I see now, it’s not you who needs the forgiveness, it’s me.” Lou wasn’t sure he understood what was going on.

“I don’t understand daddy. I hurt you and mama.”

“Yes, but I can see now that us not trusting you or trusting that God would keep you, has hurt you more than anything. I thought you’d left every lesson behind, thought you’d left God behind. When you were a baby, I just knew you were destined for God’s work. I prayed when you were a child that you would be the next preacher in our family to carry on. As long as I’ve been in the ministry, you would have thought I could recognize the difference between a call to preach and a call to servitude. You are indeed doing exactly what God needs you to do. Gene, can you ever forgive me for not believing in you, for not trusting that you knew how to listen to God?” Lou was shocked. He had dreamed about a moment like this, one where he and his father reconciled. But it was always just a dream that disappeared when he woke up.

“Is this real daddy? We’re finally here at this moment? Yes, I forgive you. I need and want my family back like you wouldn’t believe.” Louis stood then pulled his son into a hug, the longest overdue hug ever.

“Oh thank God I’m not my deathbed for this!” Both men sobbed at the fact that the reconciliation had finally come. Who knew an invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner was all that was needed?

     Brian stood silently in the hall listening. He wasn’t an eavesdropper but dinner was ready. However, he couldn’t interrupt this important moment. Lou had been waiting too long for it. He watched as his boyfriend and his dad hug for the first time in years. Tears welled up in his eyes at the joy of the moment. Brian was so enraptured by moment that he didn’t hear Joann come up behind him.

“It’s so quiet back here, just thought I’d make sure everybody was okay.” Louis turned around to see his wife and Brian in the hall.

“I was coming to tell you dinner was ready but I couldn’t interrupt.” he confessed. Lou smiled.

“Everything’s okay babe. I can’t believe it, everything’s okay.”

“Junior you’ve messed up Gene’s makeup.” Joann scolded. Lou reached for the tissue box on his desk and handed his dad one as he dabbed his own eyes.

“It’s fine mama. It’s just mascara. These are tears of joy, let it run.” Brian stepped into the office to hug Lou.

“So Brian, I hear you are part of the reason my son is so happy.”

“Yes sir. He makes me happy too. It’s been nearly five years and he’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me.”

“Five years huh? Well, I see Lou and I aren’t the only ones who need to talk.”

“Daddy, you can’t be serious. You don’t have to ask him twenty questions.”

“Ah Gene, I beg to differ. I know you trust him, but I need to trust him too.”

“Ask away sir.”

“I suggest you sit next to me for dinner.”

“Speaking of dinner,” Brian said “let’s go eat.”

     They all headed back to the living room where the rest of the family was gathering around the table to bless the food. People looked to Lou or Brian to do the honors since it was their home; Brian asked Rev. Carter to bless the food. As everyone found a place at the tables, the tables became the subject of conversation.

“I don’t know of a furniture store that sells these.” Bianca commented. “Where did you get them?”

“We made them.” Lou said then he explained how the idea came about.

“Yea, when Lou showed up with a pink tool belt, I wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing but I must say my brother and his boyfriend impressed me. I only had to help them out twice.” Bernie commented.

“Help twice? Yeah, loading the supplies off my truck then the loading the tables back on when we were done.” Brian said and everyone laughed.

     It was a great day; everyone ate, laughed and talked. Louis was slicing himself a nice sized slice of the strawberry pound cake. And as Lou expected, one taste of it sent him back to his childhood.

“Gene did you steal my grandmother’s recipe? This tastes just like I remember.”

“I wish. I tried to make it the way I remembered but nothing I did came out right. I gave up.”

“But this is it. This is the recipe.”

“You’ll have to talk to Brian about that.”

“I made some strawberry juice from the real strawberries instead of using the canned strawberry juice. I think it made all the difference.” Louis nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, natural strawberries would have been all she had. Excellent job, Brian, excellent. This just might bring you right on into the family.”

“Thanks.”

“So Gene, are you going to go shopping with the masses tomorrow?” Joann asked.

“No. I usually spend the day after Thanksgiving at the center. I help make breakfast for the kids and we sit and talk. I don’t get to relax and chill with them as much as I’d like to. There’s a church around the corner who volunteers to make dinner for them so the day after is for me.”

“I think I’d like to join you son. You know our church has been looking for new opportunities in outreach ministry and I’d like to see what these young people need.”

“Are you serious dad? That would be wonderful!” Lou’s Co-Director Kenny smiled as well.

“We’d love to have you over for breakfast Pastor Carter. Lou makes the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

“Oh, yes I definitely need to be there to see these pancakes. I assume it’s my grandfather’s recipe Gene?”

“It’s the only one I know.” Lou replied. Brain held up his hand as if he was a student in class.

“I need to ask a question. Why do you call him Gene? We all call him ‘Lou’, you know short for Louis.” The Carters laughed.

“He’s our first son therefore he’s the third. My grandmother was named Louisa. We called her Nana Lou. She named her first-born son Louis Eugene, my father. Everybody called him Louis. I was the first-born son so I’m Louis Eugene Junior, nicknamed Junior. He’s Louis Eugene III so we called him Gene.”

“And when I started dressing feminine, I just used ‘Lou’ so people wouldn’t mistake ‘G-e-n-e’ for ‘J-e-a-n’.”

“Okay, makes sense.”

“I can’t wait to see the two of you working together in the kitchen tomorrow.” Kenny said. “Especially when the kids find out you’ve reconciled. It’s gonna be such an awesome lesson.”

“And one I can’t wait to share with my own children and grandchildren one day.” Lou said as he hugged his dad.