Dear Diary,

Why did I buy this book? I’d say it’s a waste of my money! But, my mother insisted, she said it would help me express my feelings. But I think she just wants me to write my feelings in it so she can expose my crush and my secrets to the school or something. I probably have the best mum for exposing crushes and stuff. About a year ago she exposed my friend Elle’s crush and all of her secrets, so she moved schools. Sadly, I don’t see her or talk to her anymore. I blame someone.. A.K.A my mother!

Well, if you’re my mother and you’re reading this and expose my crush and my secrets, I will get so mad, I will ditch you mum! I might even be the first child to kick their mother out of the house and live a good life! As I was saying, Elle was this blonde blue eyed girl who was really sweet. Well, she was sweet to me and destroyed other’s life. You get the point, I miss her. Wait, why do I miss her? She bullied me in year one and two. Then only became friends with me in year three because I got pretty and lost weight.

We were friends since year three, now I’m in high school I am called beautiful by the guys everyday  at school. Or were they talking to my friend Eliza? I should probably introduce Eliza to the diary. Eliza is another blonde but brown eyed friend. Hey, don’t judge me. I’m not the only brunette in my group of friends. Right, the other brunette girl is Della. But, Della bullies me and the rest of the group doesn’t know that.. So they keep her. Don’t call me racist for hanging out with blondes.  I can hang out with whoever I want!

Oh also, Della has a pimple but will bully whoever talks to her or anyone about it! She has to get it looked at, it might be infected or something.. EWWW!! Don’t tell her I am writing about it, someone could  some how be reading this and then spread rumours and ruin HER life. I’d secretly love that, I ABOSLUTELY want Della’s life to FAIL. I just hate her, like, who does their hair like right up on the top of their head? Oh! Guess what, people like to make fun of her hair and put their hair right at the front top of their head, flick their hair forward and run around saying, “I’m a unicorn!!!!” Della gets so mad, she once went to the princial’s office for punching someone.

All this drama in the school leads to rage, most of the time. Oh and at school someone once got EXPELLED like, for-ev-er! Remember how I said my mother wants me to share my feelings with this stupid diary? One of my feelings are anger, I like to bring this anger out on people who made me angry. People like my MOTHER. Who tell me to put my crush on a diary with NO lock, so she can read my diary and EXPOSE my crush and my secrets! Oh, I’ve had like a million crushes, okay maybe only like 5. My first crush was in year 4, his name was Alex. He had brown hair, brown eyes and he was cute, he had a crush on me but then got a crush on someone else, he broke my heart. I NEVER want to see him again. But, the next year in year 5 I moved schools and there was this guy Elijah.. I kinda liked him until I found out he liked a girl Maya and Maya liked him, so I didn’t like him anymore and went for this guy lance, I still like him to this day. I don’t care if he likes anyone else. I just wont give up.

Mum, if you’re reading my diary, you’re so dead. Well, you can read my diary just don’t go and like, EXPOSE me like you exposed Elle. Elle was my REALLY good friend, until you made her move school! I’m in year 8, and my crush is still Lance since year 5. I feel like he’s starting to like me, maybe I could be his girlfriend when we’re old enough to get together. OMG, why am I saying this? I’m only year 8 and thinking of getting a boyfriend. Wait.. Ew, I’m sharing my secrets to some diary, I don’t even know who will read this. What if there are cameras in my room? So my mum can see me writing in my diary? Oh wait.. Ew.. That’s disgusting.. OMG no.. That would just be wrong, my mum would watch me get dressed or something.

Okayyy, lets change the theme... What about we... Talk about school? I’ve gone dead on things to talk to you about diary. Wait, ew.. I’m talking to a DIARY. Gross, why am I doing this? ABC if you can help me get a freaking lifeeee!! Call 911!!! I think I’m going to die! “What’s the emergency?”  I’m talking to a diary! What kinda of Morron does that? Help me!! I’m going to die of being an idiot!

“Do you have an actual emergency, ma’am?” Okay, call 000 then, have the people go over seas to help me. You’re about to make a young girl die! I’m only 13!! Hello? Hellooo? He hang up on me. Jeez what an idiot, you’re the morron now.

Ugh, bed time already? Cya diary! OMG, call 911!! :(