It’s hard when you feel alone but you know you have people around you and they’re there for you but you still feel so numb and alone like your the only person on the earth going through pain, you lay there or stand there looking at the 4 walls and staring into space, you feel cold and stiff and you shout so loud but no one hears you, no body is there, no body cares, well that’s what you think anyway, you feel so lonely that the thought of your own company is horrifying. You start to cry into your pillow and think that everyone will be better off without you. Then you start to imagine and think of all the memories you’ve had with your family and how much they supported you, how sad they’d be if you did something silly. Then your mum walks in and you give her the biggest hug ever and at last you feel whole again and you feel love. Your never alone.

 Your so focused on your mind and your negative thoughts and so obsessed with how bad you feel that you forget everything around you. You become lost, lost in your mind, lost in the darkness and can’t find the light, you go over and over in your head all the thoughts and feelings that you’d be better off dead. You start to feel numb as your anxiety kicks in and your heart starts racing, your scared of what’s gonna happen but at the same time you just don’t care, you want all the pain to be over, you want to be at peace again as you’ve not felt at peace for so long you’ve forgot what happiness is. Think of all th positive things in your life, your family, your friends, memories, achievements, then you realise life isn’t that bad and there is hope for you to be happy again. 

 You’ve got to a stage in life where your just done, done trying, done carrying on, done making any effort, you’re just done, you don’t even feel really depressed you just don’t care anymore, you wouldn’t be bothered if the  world sucked you under and you never returned, you wouldn’t care if you got ran over today, it doesn’t scare you anymore, you’ve lost  all hope so you just see in each day as another dull moment in your life and you look forward to closing your eyes at the end of the day and being lost to the world and at peace. You feel like you’ve fought so hard and tried so hard you just have no energy left to fight anymore so you’ve given up, you’ve had enough of everything, Then you remember all the amazing things you’ve done in your life and your dreams and goals for the future and then somewhere, somehow you find some hope deep inside you.